How old were your kids when you first left them home alone?

[aristocatz]

My oldest will be 9 in less than a month and my youngest will be 7 in December. Both girls. Oldest is pretty responsible, rules follower, good head on her shoulders for her age.

We are trying to figure out what age would be appropriate to leave them home alone for like a short grocery trip or something. Curious to know what age is appropriate to try this? We are not thinking of leaving the 6 year old home alone by herself!! we are referring to the 9 year old watching her.

Thanks!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don’t remember the exact age, but I think it was around 10. I had twins, and both were pretty responsible by that age, knew the rules and routines, knew how to call for help if needed, etc. I think short periods to start are a good idea.

 

[aristocatz]

I don’t remember the exact age, but I think it was around 10. I had twins, and both were pretty responsible by that age, knew the rules and routines, knew how to call for help if needed, etc. I think short periods to start are a good idea.

Thanks! Yup, both of mine are great about calling to ask for help, thanks to their tablets and the kids messenger app. We left them home alone once about a month ago, for about 30 minutes, due to me having a health issue and my husband had to bring me to the ER. It was around 4am, my husband woke up my oldest to let her know and to remind her to call if she needed anything, and they were totally fine (slept the entire 30 minutes he was gone), so it got us to wonder when most people start this as a regular/occassional thing.

 

[neverlandsky]

Oldest and Youngest are 2 years apart. Oldest was/will never made responsible for Youngest. I was the Oldest forced to be responsible for younger siblings, I hated it. So I refused to do that to our Oldest. So for our household this is how it went.

*A quick run to the grocery store, 5th grade. Youngest had to come with us until they were in 5th grade.

*6th grade to 9th grade it was a few hours with us calling and checking in with us home by 8pm.

*High School, same as 6th-9th grade, yet we stayed out later til 11pm during summer/9pm school nights.

*HS graduate & 11th grade, longest we've been gone has been 8 hours for our anniversity recently with us checking in every few hours. We were home by 1am.

*We won't go away overnight leaving the kids at home alone until Youngest is 18.

 

[emmybee]

We started leaving the singleton alone when she was 11. Errands only, we aren't the going out type. If we were to have a night out, I would leave her w/ grandma who is right next door.

 

[KittyKitty]

"According to the Florida Department of Children and Families, the National SAFE KIDS Campaign recommends children should not be left alone before the age of 12. It also states that older siblings should not supervise younger children until 15. “Make sure there are no firearms available to them."
I found this for state of Florida. My state, Washington, does not have a law, but recommend 9-11yrs left alone less than 2 hours. And children who are 13 or older can be left alone and perform the role of a babysitter.
You just never know what could happened.

 

[tvguy]

10 ish should be fine, depending on the child.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I was a latch-key kid at age 7. Came home to an empty house after school and took care of myself. Ah, the 80s…

Some states have laws in place about this. You can look up your state here:
https://apps.washingtonpost.com/g/page/local/latchkey-children-age-restrictions-by-state/1555/

 

[aristocatz]

"According to the Florida Department of Children and Families, the National SAFE KIDS Campaign recommends children should not be left alone before the age of 12. It also states that older siblings should not supervise younger children until 15. “Make sure there are no firearms available to them."
I found this for state of Florida. My state, Washington, does not have a law, but recommend 9-11yrs left alone less than 2 hours. And children who are 13 or older can be left alone and perform the role of a babysitter.
You just never know what could happened.

Thanks! Yup, I noticed some states have regulations like this that range from age 6 (yikes!) to age 12. My state does not have a law as well. We are just thinking an hour or two in the daytime (my oldest would get scared if it was dark out), not a "night out."

 

[luvsvacation]

When mine were about 5/6 I started letting them stay home while I did short things in the subdivision (like a walk or a bike ride). When the were 6/7 I was about 5 minutes late coming home from the grocery store and the bus had already been by. I thought they might be freaking out but I found them being very responsible and just fine. They had drug the recycle bin over to the garage door and turned it on its side and my daughter was on top putting in the garage code to get inside. I was very proud of them for handling the situation so well and from then on I never worried if I was 10-15 minutes later getting home than the bus. By the next year when they were 7/8 (they are 17 months apart) I would let them stay home while I ran errands under 2 hours. By 8/9 they could stay home on a rare evening that we went out. By age 10 the only time I ever considered them needing care was overnight. We didn’t leave them alone overnight until they were 14/15 and then it was just one night. I will say my kids were both always extremely mature for their ages. They both knew how to cook and care for themselves very early on. Partly because I taught them and party just personality. We always joke the DS (the youngest) was basically Alex P Keaton from Family Ties. The kid would watch the news at 4 and insisted on wearing suits by 6.

 

[aristocatz]

I was a latch-key kid at age 7. Came home to an empty house after school and took care of myself. Ah, the 80s…

Some states have laws in place about this. You can look up your state here:
https://apps.washingtonpost.com/g/page/local/latchkey-children-age-restrictions-by-state/1555/

Me too! & my brother was watching me at night when he was 10 & I was 6. The 80's were so much simpler! I don't even feel comfortable leaving them in the car for a few minutes to pick up a call ahead pizza. My kids would be fine, but I get paranoid that someone would call the police on us!

 

[Skippy918]

Age 10 but not responsible for siblings for up to 30 mins. Age 12 with younger sibling. Younger sibling was 9 in this case. 1-2 hours during the day. My oldest is now 13. They have access to a phone, Alexa and FaceTime to reach us.

 

[tcufrog]

Honestly, it depends on the kid, where you're going, whether your child has someone nearby in case of an emergency, and how safe, where you live, is. My kids know our next-door neighbors and we live in a really safe neighborhood. DS10 has a good head on his shoulders so I'd leave him home to run to the store during the day. He knows what to do and where to go if there's an emergency.

As for DS14 being in charge of DS10, I have very simple rules. DS10 can choose to come with me or stay home with DS14. If there's an emergency, he has to listen to his brother. DS14 is not responsible for DS10 unless there's an emergency and will get in trouble if he tries to take advantage of the situation. If DS10 realizes there's an emergency and tells DS14, DS14 needs to listen and objectively evaluate what his brother says. He can't just dismiss it out of hand because of the source. The most important rule is that they have to have the phone near them at all times in case I call. If they don't answer then they have to come with me next time. I need to know I can reach them immediately if there's an emergency.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Me too! & my brother was watching me at night when he was 10 & I was 6. The 80's were so much simpler! I don't even feel comfortable leaving them in the car for a few minutes to pick up a call ahead pizza. My kids would be fine, but I get paranoid that someone would call the police on us!

Oh, I was definitely waiting by myself in the car while my mother grocery shopped by kindergarten… sitting in the front passenger seat where I rode without a carseat.

A few years ago I Google mapped my childhood home and measured out the miles I traveled by myself through the woods and on bike and practically had a panic attack at the insanity of it. Times were certainly different.

 

[nw6675]

My DSS was 12 when we would leave him, but wow, that was 20 years ago!! Time flies.

My DD is almost 10 and while she is very mature, she would be a nervous wreck to be alone so it will probably be around 12 for her, too.

 

[tvguy]

I was a latch-key kid at age 7. Came home to an empty house after school and took care of myself. Ah, the 80s…

Some states have laws in place about this. You can look up your state here:
https://apps.washingtonpost.com/g/page/local/latchkey-children-age-restrictions-by-state/1555/

I grew up in the 1960's. They didn't call it being a "latch-key kid" then. It was just being a kid. Although in my case my mom worked graveyard shift so she was home, but asleep.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I grew up in the 1960's. They didn't call it being a "latch-key kid" then. It was just being a kid. Although in my case my mom worked graveyard shift so she was home, but asleep.

Do you recall if it was commonplace to come home to an empty house in the 60s? I read an interesting article once that argued 80s kids were the most neglected generation. Prior to then, most women didn’t work outside the home, so kids had supervision at home. By the 80s, women had moved into the workforce en masse, but childcare infrastructure hadn’t yet been established so kids were left home alone to fend for themselves. By the 90s, women were still working but they had more options for daycares and after-school programs to send their kids to, so kids weren’t home alone anymore.

 

[disneychrista]

A quick run to the store I think my kids may have been 10/12.

 

[tvguy]

Do you recall if it was commonplace to come home to an empty house in the 60s? I read an interesting article once that argued 80s kids were the most neglected generation. Prior to then, most women didn’t work outside the home, so kids had supervision at home. By the 80s, women had moved into the workforce en masse, but childcare infrastructure hadn’t yet been established so kids were left home alone to fend for themselves. By the 90s, women were still working but they had more options for daycares and after-school programs to send their kids to, so kids weren’t home alone anymore.

Fewer moms were working for sure, as I recall about half the mom's worked in my neighborhood so kids came home to empty houses. The HUGE difference between 1960's and today here is, kids don't ride their bikes or walk to school anymore. The schools are gridlock at the start of the school day and the ends, and I can never figure out how all these parents can be there and aren't at work. We have open enrollment here now, so kids no longer go to their neighborhood school, so it is tough for kids to get to school without getting a ride. And because of open enrollment, they stopped school bus service, because often, like on my street, you may have six elementary school students on a street, none of which go to the same school or their neighborhood school

 

[AuntieMe3]

My daughter started staying home for a couple hours here and there around 10. I think she was around 14 or 15 the first time she stayed the night by herself. My parents live on the same street though so had someone close by if she needed them.

I was much younger and responsible for 2 younger siblings when I started being left home without my parents.