I just wish the hurt would stop

[tileman]

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[Lisaloo]

Oh boy Ron. You are really underwater right now. Things will get better, but it won't happen immediately.

Get an attorney, Ron. The emotional state you are in doesn't lend itself to good decision making. It doesn't mean you are money hungry or trying to keep your wife from what she deserves, but you really need someone looking out for your interests right now.

Keep praying. Ask your pastor to recommend a counselor for you(not marriage counselor). There is no shame in needing help with drastic changes and depression. Breathe and take one day at a time. Those things work!! And dogs are great therapy
Wishing you well in 2016.

 

[RDR_BU]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Have you tried individual counseling? It really helped me when I was going through my "surprise" divorce.

I wish you the best.

 

[tileman]

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[DisneyFan32WI]

You'll find a new normal someday. It will look much different, but it will be good for you. I'm sorry you are placing so much blame on yourself. It breaks my heart that your wife would be so cruel to say some of the things she has....especially after loving you for so many years. You gave it all you could, but it wasn't good enough for her. I wish you all the best as you begin this new journey in 2016. I hope you can work on your strained relationship with your daughter. Why is she taking sides? (Hugs)

 

[mommasita]

I am so sorry for everything you are going through..
The attorney is to protect yourself, it is for your own best interests.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[tileman]

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[Disneylover99]

Hang in there!
Maybe try to get away to Disney for a day? It sounds like you need a break.

 

[AnnaS]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Hang in there. One moment at a time.

 

[danny1649]

Keep your chin up and i will remember you in prayer.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Hi Ron,
How are you doing lately? Anything we can do to help support you? Keeping you in my daily thoughts....

 

[tileman]

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[DisneyFan32WI]

Hopefully going to Disney together gave you both a temporary distraction from the hurt and pain that has been going on in your strained relationship. I've never been to the Osbourne lights, but I bet it was beautiful. Take one day at a time and don't put any unnecessary pressure on yourself. I'm sure it isn't easy to share a business together, but hopefully you two can communicate well enough and keep the business intact. Do you have any hobbies? It's great football-watching season right now with the Super Bowl just around the corner! I'm rooting for the home team, Green Bay Packers, but we will have a very difficult game ahead of us this weekend!

 

[moniqueand2]

Thank guys I am just so emotional done. And I feel like I failed in my marriage and I hate doing that.

A lot of people say get a attorney but I feel like if I do I'm being mean and playing hard ball.

The lady for the marriage counselor said I just need to end it but for the love of God I can't.... No matter how bad she hurts me I can't do it in return.
Also the counselor told me she's on a power trip and will use that against me that's just sad real sad.

Ron

I just wanted to address the power issue. In my experience when one party in the couple wants a divorce and the other does not. The person wanting divorce does have a lot of power in the relationship, even if their behavior is at fault overall. The power dynamic can then cause the spouse who wants to save the marriage to acquiesce to the other's demands. Anyway, I wanted to share my perspective on the power issue.

 

[Princess of Pirates]

Hi Ron!

I know you posted this quite awhile ago, but just wanted to let you know that I do understand. I'm going through a reall rough time in marriage as well. I hope you are feeling better and will be praying for you~~

 

[goofyernmost]

Me and my wife of 28 years have been separated for well over 8 months I asked her to go to marriage counselor and we did for like 20 weeks as we went things did get better a little at lest we could talk and work together.

Well she just stopped going and dose not want to go back says all we do its talk about old problems hmm that's what it's for right??

Seems like it's back to the old thing again can't agree on stuff and I'm told I'll never find anyone in a million years. The hard part is we own a business together and it's hard. She told me a few days before Christmas she wants half of every thing.

I'm ok with that we have worked hard together and she dose deserve it. But I said we need to come to the table with what we owe and what we have and go from there wow did I get a talking too. About how wrong I am and only money hungry and that's far from the truth.
I believe in the lord so much and few pastor are praying for us both but it just seems that God is not listening. I go to church every Sunday it's just getting hard to keep pushing forward. One of my older daughters over 25 will not even talk to me and its killing me
From the inside out.

I know my problem is small compared to other stuff going on in this world but it's beating me down.

I just wish the lord would just at lest show me why I'm going through this and the meaning of it all.
I feel so lonely and such a empty soul.
And then being told how bad I am and will never love or be loved kills me.
I have been wanting to go to Disney I have AP and only live like 75 miles from the main gate just can't get the energy to go to my favorite place.

This has been a rough Christmas for me just me and my dogs and work.
I'll stop now thanks for listening
And sorry if I went on to much.

Ron

Get a lawyer, she will believe me. When someone says that want half of everything, it isn't just the good stuff, the debt that was jointly incurred, be it a business or otherwise, is also shared. It's not a free ride for someone to get half. It's half of everything... the good and the bad.

The same thing happened to me after 29 years, we also owned a business. Almost the same scenario. We sold off the assets, house and business, paid the debt and then split what remained. I had the option of paying her for half the value of the house or the business, but, decided to cut all the memories and just start over. Best thing that ever happened to me. It seems desperate now, but, with the right attitude it is amazing how, as you put it, God answered in a positive manner. Allow yourself a time to grieve but, keep in the back of your mind what opportunities are yet to show themselves and be ready to recognize them.

 

[tileman]

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[mommasita]

Ron, giant hugs.. This can't be easy, this back and forth for your emotions...

Please don't feel like you have failed.

 

[tileman]

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[Lori74]

its so easy to blame yourself for others actions and feel like you're a burden, I understand all too well. try not to. seeing a counselor is an excellent idea. unfortunately life doesn't always turn out as we planned, no matter how hard we try. chin up, do as much as you can for yourself, and lean on those when you can't stand. hugs, and prayers!