I lost my husband

[antmaril]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[RUDisney]

I am so sorry to read this. The death of a loved one brings these feelings, no matter the circumstance. However, when it is by suicide, I can understand how those emotions are escalated.

You will get past the what ifs. It will take time and therapy will hopefully help. If not with this therapist, find another one. One size doesn't fit all when finding someone to talk to and help you.

My heart breaks for you and the family he left behind.

I hope you can find comfort in the memories that you had together. You will remain in my prayers.

 

[mrsstats]

I am so sorry for your loss. i hope the therapy can give you peace.

 

[Fely the 1st]

So sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

 

[HeatherC]

I am so very sorry. I know there are no words. Every feeling you are feeling is legitimate and real. Grief is never linear and there is no right or wrong way to process things. I pray with time the pain will ease and that beautiful future awaits you.

 

[Pooh2]

So sorry for your heartache.
We lost a friend to suicide during covid last year.
So hard to make sense of it all.

 

[Minnesota!]

I am sending you peace.

 

[mom2rtk]

What a tremendous loss. I'm so sorry.

 

[Mysterian]

I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I wish you all the best, and hope that you find plenty of support in the days ahead.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending thoughts and prayers. God bless.

 

[RogueX]

I send you my deepest condolences to you and your family.

 

[HannaBelle]

Mermaid02 I am so very sorry for your loss. I am so happy to see that you are seeing a counselor, they will help you navigate your pain.

My 20 year old nephew took his own life on March 31st. I have never felt this kind of pain and grief, it is unbearable. He suffered from depression for several years, was in therapy, under the care of a psychiatrist, loved, supported and cherished by his family but his pain was too great. That has been, and I am sure will continue to be, hard for me understand. In my heart I feel like I have failed, in my mind I know I did not.

Let the tears flow and allow yourself to grieve. But allow yourself to continue to live, to be happy and to thrive.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[DLgal]

Very sorry that you have suffered such an immense loss. Depression is such an awful, awful condition. The person suffering and their loved ones can do all the things they are "supposed" to do, and it's often not enough.

Just know that it was not your fault. You did everything you could. And you know that he loved you so much, but in his broken mind, he was a burden to you, and it was his last act of love to release you from that burden.

It will take you time to heal. All your feelings and experiences are valid, so allow yourself to work through things one day at a time. You will never be the same again, but you will eventually, hopefully discover a new version of life that brings you happiness and peace.

 

[LoveSpringsteen]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. I am praying for you and your family.

 

[leebee]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Tink-osophy]

My husband took his own life in February and he took part of me with him. I never knew it was possible to feel the way I do right now- which is every emotion at once. I am beyond sad, I am angry, yet I am happy at times- I even laughed with friends over the weekend and then I feel guilty for having feelings of happiness. I feel guilty for not seeing how much pain he was in. I know he loved me, he showed me and told me all the time and I loved him beyond words. I guess after being in the Army for 29 years, he just felt without purpose. I know how much he missed the structure. These are my thoughts, there was no note. If anyone has experience with anything like this and wants to share here or in a private message, please do. I am truly lost. Yes, I am in therapy.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find your way again and am glad you're getting support on that journey.

 

[Keli]

I'm very sorry for your loss and all the grief and pain associated with it.

 

[Silver saucer]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am so sad.

 

[Snowysmom]

I am sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking.

I lost my DH suddenly in Sept 2021. He passed in his sleep with no known health issues. However, looking back, I know he had heart issues and I had been telling him to see the doctor. He refused saying he was just getting older and he was not going down the road of tests and doctors. That decision cost him his life, and our family lost a Dad, Grandpa, and my beloved DH.

It is a hard journey to go through and not one that anyone wants to take. You have many things to grieve for. Everyone grieves on their own timeline and don't let anyone tell you when you should be over it. It is up to you. I have people try to tell me that I should be good now and are puzzled that I am not. Grief is not something our society does well. There are alot of emotions. Don't feel guilty about laughing with friends or enjoying something you like. Do what takes care of you at the time. I sometimes feel like if I laugh with friends or am happy with one of my grandkids that it means I am not missing DH enough. But, that is not true. His loss is such a heartache for me after 45 years of marriage that some days I feel like I can't get through the day. I could not stay in the house after finding him gone there that morning so I am staying with my older DS. I just sold my house and bought a condo so I will moving into my own place and living alone for the first time. That will be an adjustment.

It is good that you are seeing a therapist. Be sure to take care of yourself. That is easier said than done but important. Talk with friends and family who are supportive. If you find someone who is not do not feel bad about taking a step back from them for a while. I have had to do that with a couple of people. Cry, yell, throw things, do whatever you want to do at the moment you are in. I read a book recommended by my therapist called It's OK that you are not OK by Megan Devine. I cried my way through it but I found it very helpful. I have talked with women who have been down this road and they say you never get over it but you find a way to live with it. The grief softens a bit and gets integrated into your life. That is what they say, I am not at that point yet.

Feel free to PM me if you want. I know I have probably missed alot of info but frankly my brain is very much befuddled since losing DH.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.