Invited My Wife's Brother and His Family and... Crickets

[Jack Kerouac]

So it’s been a while since we last visited our WDW invite to my wife’s brother and sister-in-law. As it turns out, he finally reached out today to see if the vacation was on since his wife was asking him about it. My wife told him she didn’t think they were interested since we originally invited them 14 months ago and they never responded. His sole reply was, “Fair.” Now he’s not responding to her texts.

 

[starry_solo]

So it’s been a while since we last visited our WDW invite to my wife’s brother and sister-in-law. As it turns out, he finally reached out today to see if the vacation was on since his wife was asking him about it. My wife told him she didn’t think they were interested since we originally invited them 14 months ago and they never responded. His sole reply was, “Fair.” Now he’s not responding to her texts.

Wow!

 

[FreeTime]

Thanks for the updating. Are her texts that he is ignoring her trying to find away to make it work out? If so, I’ve been there and my advice is to not do so. Several times we invited my FIL who would say no and then a month out would say, “I’m coming.” After multiple times of scrambling and changing resorts after I stalked the ones I wanted to stay in, we told him he was out of luck. I stopped changing my plans at the last minute.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Thanks for the updating. Are her texts that he is ignoring her trying to find away to make it work out? If so, I’ve been there and my advice is to not do so. Several times we invited my FIL who would say no and then a month out would say, “I’m coming.” After multiple times of scrambling and changing resorts after I stalked the ones I wanted to stay in, we told him he was out of luck. I stopped changing my plans at the last minute.

Sounds like you’ve been through the same thing.

She basically said it’s been more than a year and we heard nothing. She also said we will have more DVC points come August, so we can plan something for 2025 or later.

We have two rooms booked for two nights at the Poly for some friends in June when we will be there, so we don’t have the ability to get her brother and sister-in-law any accommodations this year.

I guess they didn’t know the stay was free (we said so in the email ). I know the accommodations are worth a few thousand, and their income is equal to ours or higher, so I don’t think it should be on us to pay for their tickets, food, and airfare. It’s really a matter of their willingness to spend a lot of money on a vacation versus a larger sum of money on a vacation (if they had to pay for deluxe accommodations in addition to park tickets, dining, etc.).

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Sounds like you’ve been through the same thing.

She basically said it’s been more than a year and we heard nothing. She also said we will have more DVC points come August, so we can plan something for 2025 or later.

We have two rooms booked for two nights at the Poly for some friends in June when we will be there, so we don’t have the ability to get her brother and sister-in-law any accommodations this year.

I guess they didn’t know the stay was free (we said so in the email ). I know the accommodations are worth a few thousand, and their income is equal to ours or higher, so I don’t think it should be on us to pay for their tickets, food, and airfare. It’s really a matter of their willingness to spend a lot of money on a vacation versus a larger sum of money on a vacation (if they had to pay for deluxe accommodations in addition to park tickets, dining, etc.).

 

[intamin]

So it’s been a while since we last visited our WDW invite to my wife’s brother and sister-in-law. As it turns out, he finally reached out today to see if the vacation was on since his wife was asking him about it. My wife told him she didn’t think they were interested since we originally invited them 14 months ago and they never responded. His sole reply was, “Fair.” Now he’s not responding to her texts.

No good deed goes unpunished

 

[Chuck S]

DIsney and DVC...you either "get it" or you don't. Those that don't probably never will, and it is best to just use your points for yourselves (and your parents if they want to go, since they live nearby). OR you could book a 2 bedroom for you and your parents, and book a studio for your brother. Just be sure that your use year would still allow banking if you need to cancel brother's studio, and tell brother he needs to cancel by a specific date so you can bank the points. You would still have room in the 2 bedroom for everyone to get together and relax and have a meal if you want to do so. Let them book their own flights and so forth so if they cancel, they are the ones dealing with the airline.

 

[Jwaire]

I don't play this game. I ran into this with my brother somewhat, although we are very close and it's not a long distance situation, and my mother. They're not ungrateful. They're just not planners. And they don't understand the intricacies of DVC.

Eleven months out every year, I decide when we are going, book the rooms and give my brother and sister-in-law the dates. At some point, usually 6 months out, I give them a two week deadline.

They say yes or no. End of story. I don't change plans. There's no last minute reservations to make. While I do try to keep in mind the ages and preferences of my niece and nephew, this isn't a democracy and I'm not taking input on resorts, when to go, how long to stay, what parks to reserve, etc.

They either go or don't go. We are childless, so my niece and nephew are my world. I pay for their park tickets, souvenirs, plane tickets, etc.

A couple of years ago, my sister-in-law, who I adore and I'm close to, missed one DVC vacation. She didn't want to take off work, didn't like the dates I picked and thought I would change the dates for her (she's a teacher, there's salary repercussions for missing too many days, it's hard to plan around events and her training).

She was shocked (and so was I) when my brother decided to take the kids and go without her.

She cried the entire week and has never missed another DVC vacation. We can laugh about it now, but she was devastated.

 

[Auntie Peep]

My wife's brother and his family live sixteen hours away from us. Since having kids, they no longer travel to see his parents (or us, as we live about ten minutes from them). We last visited them in 2016 when our oldest and their oldest were 16 months and three months, respectively. My wife is eager to have our boys see/meet their cousins. Usually around the beginning of the year, she brings up the idea of traveling to see them during our boys' spring break and I would stay home due to tax season. I'm hesitant to have her drive that far alone and because previous visits have not gone well. I also want them to have some skin in the game as well. Since buying DVC late last year, we have discussed from time to time the idea of inviting her brother and his family to join us in WDW in May/June 2024 once school gets out.

Back in March, my wife got the courage to email them and invite them. We told them we would cover their stay with our DVC points, they would have to cover the other expenses, WDW can be expensive, it requires a lot of planning, etc. About a month went by and we never heard from them. Last week, I finally just texted him and asked, "Did you and your wife get an email from my wife?" He replied, "About the vacation? Yeah." He then followed that up with saying he and his wife hadn't really talked about the invite but he didn't see why they couldn't go. We've heard nothing else from them.

We plan to go even if they opt out, but we would plan our trip differently (longer and with a split stay) if they do not join us. The 11 month mark is next month, which I plan on booking the home resort (Poly) portion of the trip at that time. I don't really want to give them a deadline of 11 months out, but I also don't want to find out at six months that they want to join us.

Any suggestions on how to proceed?

We learned many, many years ago not to invite non-Disney lovers along on our trips. And once we learned that, we had a great time! Sorry if I sound heartless because I know how great your intentions are!

 

[we"reofftoneverland]

Family relationships can be so complicated. I just keep my expectations really low.

 

[AstroBlasters]

I’m not trying to be rude here, but I wouldn’t put any effort into a relationship with someone who does not respect me enough to respond to a direct communication within a reasonable period of time.

 

[lilsonicfan]

Sounds like you’ve been through the same thing.

She basically said it’s been more than a year and we heard nothing. She also said we will have more DVC points come August, so we can plan something for 2025 or later.

NOOOOOO don't do this, don't let her suggest anything in 2025!

 

[Jack Kerouac]

NOOOOOO don't do this, don't let her suggest anything in 2025!

Yeah, 2025 isn't going to happen. I turn 40 next year, so I would like to visit DL for the first time in 2025. Going forward, it will likely be something where we do trips at the same time, if we do them at all, but it's up to them to plan their trip and we'll plan ours.

 

[corpcomp]

I've invited family many times but none have ever taken me up on it because they don't want to spend the money on airfare and park tickets, they want it all free.

And I've never invited crickets

 

[3rd_time_the_charm]

So it’s been a while since we last visited our WDW invite to my wife’s brother and sister-in-law. As it turns out, he finally reached out today to see if the vacation was on since his wife was asking him about it. My wife told him she didn’t think they were interested since we originally invited them 14 months ago and they never responded. His sole reply was, “Fair.” Now he’s not responding to her texts.

I just can't believe it's been a year!!!! I followed this back then and time flies.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

When I decide to invite a group, I decide from the start to be okay with the way I need to book the room, even if they bail at last minute.

This may mean a larger room than needed, or, if I want downsize if they change their minds, being okay not getting to stay at my resort of choice

By doing it this way, I can’t be disappointed or upset because WDW is expensive and things happen.

Same. I will keep the 2 bed and since it is always OKW...

 

[cheryl.UK]

When I book to go with others I book them a separate studio (Assuming they fit) and then cancel it around the 7 month mark if they aren't responding. I give them a 2 week window after the invite but explain that I will have to do this in order not to be out of pocket. Then I try to upgrade our own vacation or bank the points. They get one chance. No further invites.

Luckily I've only had to do this once and that was friends not family. I guess I'm just lucky that my family understand how DVC works

Cheryl

 

[Chuck S]

They get one chance. No further invites.

DING, Ding, Ding...we have a winner. I have the same policy. There have, over the years, been one person, and one group, on my do not invite again list. One was a distant cousin, who has since passed away. The other is a family of friends who went twice previously, but cancelled the third time because their daughter decided WDW wasn't good enough for her high school graduation, and wanted to go to Euroope instead, about 15 years ago, and have not been invited back.