Invited to a Shrimp Boil and Told to Bring the Shrimp

[LSUmiss]

Maybe they are not looking at it as "hosting" but only as providing a space for the annual shrimp boil. If that is the case, everyone should be consulted before a date is set.

There's always the word no. "Sorry we can't come this year, the Ohio game is on". That way, they have no shrimp, no charcuterie board and no dessert. If DH goes, he can deal with the shrimp.

As for the shirts....I'm with you there. I don't wear shirts with writing on them (except for the university I follow and then only on game day.) When handed to you just say "another shirt, bless your heart". Then set it down somewhere and forget it.

We do things like that for crawfish boils & shrimp boils, but the ingredients & work & equipment it takes to boil here are expensive. But we only do it with close family only & we don’t make them bring their on seafood. But, we’ll send out a text & say something like crawfish or shrimp this weekend, $20/person (or whatever) & ask who’s in. We still foot most of the bill for everything else most weeks. We also boil most every weekend during crawfish season. If we are doing a larger more official party that we host, we wouldn’t ask anyone to bring anything. I wouldn’t even care about the cost of bringing shrimp, but more the annoyance of it. That’s a mess!

 

[AndreaDM]

That makes sense.

Anyhow my original point is turn off the tv and go be with your family OP!

Did you not read where she is with them every weekend all summer long?? Being a loyal college football fan is no different than any other hobby. If she were going to WDW for the weekend, should she cancel that and hang out with her in-laws instead?

 

[LSUmiss]

College football seems to be much bigger in areas without a heavy professional football presence.

We have nfl here too, but college is still a huge deal. It think it’s matters where you are in terms of what colleges are nearby vs whether there is prof football or not.

 

[easyas123]

Where in Maryland are you seeing “many” shrimp boils? Maryland is known for its steamed seafoood. Shrimp boils are a southern thing.

In my back yard is where I saw the last one! We know lots of folks who do shrimp boils...we usually attend or host a boil once or twice a year. I have family in South Jersey & Delaware that do them on occasion as well.

We were up in Lancaster, PA not to long ago and saw a table for sale - it was purposely built for boils, it was tall w/ cup holders and a covered hole for trash on the side. Could use it for steamed crabs as well I suppose, but it was advertised specifically as a 'shrimp boil table'. Not being quite as fancy we just use saw horses and a piece of plywood or sit around a picnic table.

 

[wvjules]

Where in Maryland are you seeing “many” shrimp boils? Maryland is known for its steamed seafoood. Shrimp boils are a southern thing.

Friends have them in Central MD. Didn't realize that Marylanders were only allowed to have steamed shrimp?

 

[Judique]

Friends have them in Central MD. Didn't realize that Marylanders were only allowed to have steamed shrimp?

We are also allowed to serve crab and shrimp together, here in Maryland, all slathered in old bay, plus rockfish nuggets if you can get them. Now I'm in the mood for some seafood!

 

[soccerdad72]

Anyhow my original point is turn off the tv and go be with your family OP!

Clearly, the OP doesn't like this family.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

I was agreeing with the OP until they got into it about the shirt they didn't want being the wrong size. I think she doesn't like this gathering and doesn't want to go. make an excuse and don't go.

 

[fly girl]

No doubt, it was rather odd to ask for the main ingredient, but really the cost of it is about the same as last year -- although, that was OP's choice -- but I'd still let it go. In the scheme of life it isn't worth getting all worked up over 8lbs of shrimp. Is it a roll your eyes and vent on the Dis request ... HECK YEAH! But that is what OP did. Her husband already bought the shrimp. Doesn't sound like she was mad about it.

The t-shirt. Ehh ... I really think they are going in with the intention that you are actually going to wear it again knowing if you stick in the dryer it will shrink. I am with PP who said it is always better to error on the side of bigger than to have a "fat guy in a little coat" moment. (kudos to all of you who know that movie quote) I would feel offended if they gave you an XL, not a Medium.

O-H-

I-O

Go Rutgers…

GO BLUE!!

...ok, it is really GO GREEN, GO WHITE! But I will always cheer on Michigan before the tree nuts. (sorry, OP. )

How in the world did a shrimp thread end up being about Ohio State? I thought you Mid-Western folks hate seafood? You know..."if it comes from the sea, it don't go in me"

That's only @low-key.
Most of us enjoy seafood. Don't forget some of us can easily attain freshwater fish too.

 

[soccerdad72]

I am with PP who said it is always better to error on the side of bigger than to have a "fat guy in a little coat" moment. (kudos to all of you who know that movie quote)

 

[Julie's Haircut]

This thread has certainly been interesting.

I agree with the OP being upset at being TOLD what to bring, especially a large quantity of expensive seafood.

My cousin used to host an annual summer family reunion for about 10 years, but stopped about five years ago when her kids started to enter college. I don't know if that was a factor.

Anyway, she asked for donations to cover the cost of the food and booze. I never minded paying. After all, she provided the house with a big yard, rented a large canopy and extra tables and chairs, had some of the food catered, set up a good sound system, had games for both adults and kids, etc. etc. etc. I started at $20 each for DW and myself then eventually upped it to $30.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

I'm no sports fan either, but for your own mental sanity, you may want to avoid TX, OH, FL, GA, TN, NC - or heck, any state with a major university presence. College football's importance ranks next to god, family & country for many residents, lol. You don't schedule ANYTHING on the day of an important game - or many folks just won't come.

DW and I like to visit college campuses during our travels, especially large universities. In October 2019 we drove to Nashville and on the way back planned to stop in Knoxville to visit the U of Tennessee. Until I looked up the Volunteers schedule and saw they had a home game on the Saturday we planned to go.

No thanks. I'm sure it would have been an exciting atmosphere, but maybe a hassle too. We rearranged our schedule and visited the Monday after.

The same situation occurred several years prior when football interfered with our plans to stop by Morgantown, WV.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

How in the world did a shrimp thread end up being about Ohio State? I thought you Mid-Western folks hate seafood? You know..."if it comes from the sea, it don't go in me"

A few years ago when I was at Cedar Point in Ohio, several restaurants were advertising "Fresh Lake Erie Perch," whatever that is.

Then again, it's not from the sea.

 

[Carol_]

I don't cook as well as people who cook for other people regularly...
I don't like people touching my things...
I love going to parties where other people clean up after.
These things add up to me taking whatever the hostess requests to the party and leaving after thanking them profusely for hosting, and providing me with a unique Tshirt (which has never happened but I'm not against it.)

 

[mrodgers]

Covid would be the easiest way out of it......

However only one of the four invites want out of it.

8 lb. of shrimp where I'm at would be a no. I doubt they'd want bags of $7 Walmart shrimp, LOL. I wouldn't but then some people like Walmart food. I would have to take a day to travel to buy said shrimp or it would be $25/lb for me.

 

[here757]

This happens a lot to us when we go to my sisters for a family party. Our side of the family is asked to bring the parts of the main meal, while my BIL's family brings a bag of chips, a pack of cookies, a frozen box of pigs in the blanket (that they throw on the counter for my sister to make while the party is started.)
After 30+ years it becomes very frustrating.

Let me guess. Brings 1 bag of chips. Hides them in the back..and takes them home with him?
we related? Lol

 

[bcla]

We are also allowed to serve crab and shrimp together, here in Maryland, all slathered in old bay, plus rockfish nuggets if you can get them. Now I'm in the mood for some seafood!

You can do that when the crabs are small. Heck - even when the crabs are big.

This restaurant does a mix of who knows what.

 

[mrodgers]

More than 1 and 1/2 pounds of shrimp is a "portion size"??? Wow! I have a household of 6 adults (4 males) and when I make a shrimp dish, I use 2lbs (uncleaned) and we have leftovers.

Indeed. I am alone, kids don't like shrimp so never have it with them. The 2 lb. bag I get on occasion at the grocery store frozen I eat myself in about 5 meals and I LOVE shrimp and will gorge myself with shrimp.

I actually just looked because I have 2 bags. They are now 1.5 lb. bags and the "large" description is 24-30 count. I'd cook 18 of them to eat for a meal if it was just eating the shrimp and not as fajita or on a bed of Linguine. So that would be I eat roughly around 0.75 lb. when I eat shrimp. As I said, I eat a lot when I do eat shrimp and that 0.75 lb. is a lot.

 

[NotUrsula]

Indeed. I am alone, kids don't like shrimp so never have it with them. The 2 lb. bag I get on occasion at the grocery store frozen I eat myself in about 5 meals and I LOVE shrimp and will gorge myself with shrimp.

I actually just looked because I have 2 bags. They are now 1.5 lb. bags and the "large" description is 24-30 count. I'd cook 18 of them to eat for a meal if it was just eating the shrimp and not as fajita or on a bed of Linguine. So that would be I eat roughly around 0.75 lb. when I eat shrimp. As I said, I eat a lot when I do eat shrimp and that 0.75 lb. is a lot.

At a boil, the duration of the meal itself is typically 3-4 hours, if not more. Guests show up about the time the potatoes first go into the pot, and they keep noshing until the last basket is gone. It is meant to be an all-day feasting affair. You don't fill your stomach all at once, so you end up eating more in the end. There are also a fair number of people who will eat only the shrimp & not have any of the veggies. (I hate those people; they screw up the quantity charts.)

The boil experience isn't for everyone, and honestly, it's much less fun if you have someone in your party who doesn't enjoy it. Boils are great social levelers, but they are hella messy.

OP, it's now rather obvious this isn't your kind of event, and it's probable his whole family knows that, but the rest of your own nuclear family likes it, so it's time to take one for the team and bow out. If you are concerned that you will get roped in, encourage your DH and his sister to discuss jointly hosting it with help from your kids, and then make that your annual go somewhere else day. At that point you just keep smiling when they call you a stick in the mud.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

Invited to SILs and BILs Shrimp Boil dinner in two weeks. Our three adult kids were also invited. We were then told to bring 8 pounds of shrimp.

The dinner is at the lake where we all have houses. Based on last year I would say there will be 25-30 people and about 10 are under the age of 18. I am assuming someone else (maybe the hosts) are also providing some shrimp, but I am sure we are the only guest family brining 8 pounds. Twelve of the attendees are actual family. The rest are all friends who also have homes on the lake.

Everyone brings their own beverages. I also fully expected to bring a food contribution and I am sure the other attendees will also. Last year we brought a charcuterie board (basically everything on it was devoured prior to dinner) and I made cookies and brownies (which were also devoured as the other desserts were store bought nothing special). Between the two it was not cheap, and took a lot of time to make and assemble, but my daughter and I did it together and had fun doing it. It was also what I wanted to bring so I was happy to do it and the cost was my choice.

Not thrilled bringing the shrimp and IMHO 8 pounds is a big ask. I cannot fathom hosting a decent sized dinner party and having someone else basically bring the main dish. While we can afford it, I feel like they are dictating to me how much money I have to spend to attend this party. Kind of like a price of admission.

I will also not be attending the dinner as it conflicts with the Ohio State football game that I want to watch. I may end up over there later in the evening, but it would be well after dinner was over. I told DH this as soon as we received the invite.

And the final kicker, they are having tshirts made for all the adult attendees that they are purchasing. They did this last year also. My tshirt ended up in my rag basket as I will never wear a tshirt with "Smith" family Shrimp Boil 2020 that is a size too big. I truly do not need another shirt with the year 2021 on it and I know they are doing them again.

Just venting, but I feel kind of used in this whole process.

I think it is in poor taste for them to specifically ask you to bring 8 pounds of shrimp. If they wanted a potluck, or help because of the cost, they should have put out the request to the group in general.

This reminds me of a dinner I went to in high school. I was around 17, and my very good friend invited me to her house for dinner. Family of 6, 4 daughters. When it came time to prepare dinner they asked me to make enchiladas because I made them so well.

In reality, my mom made excellent enchiladas, and I helped her in the kitchen. In retrospect, my friend probably had dinner at my house and really enjoyed it. So, there I was making her family dinner while they all waited. No one helped me. I was really taken aback. I never went back to her house for dinner after that.