Is it just me, or are some posts a bit "harsh" lately?

[inkkognito]

One of my favorite things about DIS is that it's generally a friendly environment where you can find a variety of opinions. While most are positive, there are some negatives too, and I think that's good because we all have our own opinions and seeing all sides helps people to make informed choices.
Lately some of the responses to some posts have seemed pretty harsh to me. If you don't agree with another poster, and you have some factual information on which to base it, that's fine...but sometimes it's better to just let it pass if your response is going to be mainly emotional. I teach an email writing class, and one of the first rules is to never write and send a message when you are letting emotions get involved. It seems like this is a good rule to follow with writing/posting to message boards as well.
I used to frequent the old AOL DCL message boards, but one of the things I didn't like was the frequency of flaming. I frequently refer people here from my website when they want information that I do not have. I always feel comfortable doing that because of the friendly environment. I would hate to see that end...can't we all play nice, kids?!
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

 

[Michelle]

No Barb, it's not just you, hence my posts twice tonight on different threads with a reminder to PLAY NICE.

As you said, these are MODERATED boards and one of the rules we have here is that personal attacks are not allowed. Trust me, we will not let that change under ANY circumstances. Of course people will disagree, and that's all perfectly fine, we just ask that if they disagree they do so respectfully. You can certainly disagree with someone without attacking them personally.

Thanks for the reminder to everyone.

 

[4nana]

Thank you!
Geezzz ~ I have been thinking the very same thing! I feel we're all here for basically the same reason, to share and spread the goodness of Disney. We are so lucky to have such a wonderful board full of invaluable information, where people can gather, make friends, help each other and feel like maybe
'they made a difference'.

 

[InsanelyMickey]

Barb, you said that very well.

As you can tell, I'm new to DIS but since my upcoming Land/Sea vacation is my first ever Disney trip, I've been doing lots of time on these boards this past month. I started out only on the DCL board then after three weeks of reading almost every thread on the 40+ pages here I moved on to read some of the WDW related boards also. I noticed there seemed to be one or two threads on the other boards that had "not-so-friendly" posts on them. It was just a couple days ago that I thought to myself that the DCL board was the only one that seemed to be "immune" to these types of posts. So, today when I logged in and came across the same two threads Michelle refers to, I thought "Oh no! I jinxed the DCL board!"

That said, I want to add that I still LOVE these boards and will continue visiting them for the same useful information I've been getting for the past month. Thank you to all of you WONDERful people who have helped me in my planning process! (Even though you're also the same people who got me addicted to DIS )

 

[mivvers]

Barb, thanks for posting. I completely agree with everything you said.

I am a fairly new poster here, in that I have only been to the world once before (land/sea Jan 2002), but we loved it so much we're back this December (at the WL and on the Wonder December 5 -12). I read the boards absolutely every day and the help I've found here has been invaluable. Having said that, I'm also hestitant to post myself because I've also read enough posters attacking another post that it makes me think twice. I can't help but think, is this an appropriate post?; will this be mis-read by someone?; and, most of all, will my "newby" status be remarked upon?

I do have to thank the 99% of posters here who have provided information, laugh-out-loud anecdotes and their own personal Disney-freak wonderfulness that has made me feel I'm not alone. I've also been moved to tears by some of the posts I've read here. It's absolutlely fantastic, these boards. They've really become an integral part of my day-to-day life as we count down to our next holiday.

So I'd like to make my post a resounding CHEERS to all of you who make this board what it is ... a wonderful, magical place to be!

Maureen xo

p.s. Barb, i spend just as much time on your site. Kudos!!!!

 

[shmoogrrrl]

I agree that being polite is a good thing to do, and goodness knows that I am fairly happy-go-lucky and let things pass, but lately it seems that there are just some situations where that is harder and harder to do.

I am a firm believer that with message boards like this, you get what you ask for. I haven't read the two posts that people seem to be talking about yet (I just got on the board and saw this post), so I'm not sure what is up with them, but I've noticed that it seems that a lot of the threads that take on an argumentative tone are usually started by someone soliciting opinions of people here, then getting defensive when those opinions don't validate their feelings.

While I agree that you should sometimes refrain from posting if you don't have a nice respose, you should also refrain from posting a message soliciting an opinion if you don't really want people's honest opinions.

Just my happy-go-lucky $0.02!

Kathy

Edited to add that by "you" I don't actually mean YOU personally.

 

[snelsonbrown]

Hi there Barb,
Just wanted to say thanks for your thread - you know - life is so short and before we know it --it is gone - so how do we want to be remembered? My thoughts ---kind words - kind deeds --kindness will long be remembered long afterwards --- sometimes we become inflamed over something that really should just be let-go, but in this world of hurry scurry, we don't take the time to "smell the flowers and light the candles to dance under the moon. My son called me last night to thank me for dancing like I did when he and his sibblings were young--he was telling me he felt embrassed, but he came to find out all his friends were thrilled that I felt carefree enough to get out in the yard and dance for my kids and dance with my kids - ps nope wasn't a good dancer, but I just wanted smiles for my kids --I am blessed for they do not remember the material things that I gave them, but they remembered the kindness and fun. For most part, I believe we are pushed sometimes into insane thinking by something else and then take it out somewhere else.
Anyhow I have rattled enough -----again just my thoughts in the middle of the night. Beautiful post Barb.
Hugssssssssssss to you and Tony. Sorry I missed you both while down here
Luv ya
Shirley

 

[prymsu]

Barb, i totally agree with you. It seems like the past couple of months the attitude has been more negative. Life is just to short to sweat the small stuff. Let's hope that changes soon!

 

[AnnMorin]

(yes I do listen to Rush from time to time )

I could not agree more! Now lets get back on to the important stuff folks especially HOW we are going to manipulate an upgrade for me to the Catagory ONE royal suite- it is my birthday after all

 

[kfahygc]

A couple of months ago I posted a reply which started some very negative remarks. It wasn't intentional and I was very hurt by some of the remarks. In fact it made me stay off of posting for quite some time. I thank you for your remarks and hope some pixie dust goes into replies from now on.

Kathleen

 

[chucknrita]

Schmoogrrl,
The two threads that are being referred to are both posted by "Gardan." One is titled "Roy Disney Suite-What Would You Have Done" and the other is a followup "editorial" that Gardan also posted titled "Editorial to My Last Post" or something to that effect. Like you said, the poster wanted opinions from people and got them, and most of them were negative (which I thought negative opinions were allowed, since they are opinions, right?). I don't think anyone "attacked" or was rude to Gardan though...they posted their opinions, and that's that.

 

[Fawn]

Barb

I've noticed the same thing recently. Seems people are giving their "opinions" with a lot less tact than usual!

Remember, everyone, that what goes around, comes around. When you post your concern, opinion or advice, let common courtesy and kindness be your guide!

 

[CarolAnnC]

In case some of the new DIS'ers are not aware, on the bottom of each post there is a "Report This Post To A Moderator" line that can be clicked on to report what may be felt to be going against guidelines. We will then review that particular thread and/or post again.

Also, for those who are so inclined, we do have a Debate Board here on the DIS where the more controversial topics can be discussed in depth. Feel free to stop by and take a look!

Our goal here is to provide a discussion forum where all aspects of the Disney Cruise can be discussed, both negative and positive. Our DIS Posting Guidelines will be upheld, however, and personal attacks will not be condoned.

Now on with the show!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Just ran up on this thread...

Shirley, your post almost made me cry!
I will have to remember to 'dance under the moon', well, okay not literally in our front yard, ( My neighbors already know that I am nuts!!!).... I will have to remember to dance under the moon with DS more often!

Can't wait to be dancin' on our cruise!!

 

[KaitlinsMom]

I must agree that some of the posts lately seem to be filled with negativity - I am also new to these boards - but some things I feel are just uncalled for.

I agree that some posts are made to get some opinions from the community. With that being said, there is a way to voice your opinion without personally attacking someone or being overly negative. I think people find it easier to "attack" someone due to that they are not doing it face to face.

I agree with Shirley, life is too short - Leave the heated stuff to the debate board.


Karen

 

[ncligs]

 

[kimtenn]

I just read one of Gardan's posts and I agree, the responses were a bit harsh. I am in HR for a living, and since I have to document quite a few conversations on email, I have learned that email is not a good medium to convey emotions. For example, if someone is being sarcastic to be funny, it can come across as more of a cutting remark and can be quite hurtful, and probably not intended that way.

I also agree DIS is a wonderful forum to prepare for trips, and a great place to get feedback, both good and bad. But I think it's easy to forget there is a person at the other end of that post and other people reading that post, so we must keep that in mind when responding. Bottom line, to cut down on miscommunication, it's wise to deal with 'just the facts, ma'am,' on email, be tactful (and thus, respectful) and keep a lid on your emotions.

 

[outahere]

Thanks to Barb for starting this thread..... I noticed the same thing last week, and considered posting very similar comments.

There is really no excuse for not being tactful with posts on this board (or any board for that matter), even if you are offering an opinion that differs from a previous poster. I think some people feel they can write just about anything because they are "hiding" behind a screen name and no one knows who they really are.

I'm all for playing nice.

 

[SC Minnie]

I have noticed the same thing. I have also stopped reading thread/posts by certain posters because of the constant negative comments.

If someone starts a thread and asks for an opinion their are ways of giving it without being mean. I have noticed this on many threads where the original poster was a 'newbie'. I often wonder if they ever come back to this board. I don't think I would if I was treated that way. JMO

 

[din]

Well said Barb... I was lurking before I started being a little more active, and did also see the changes, minor and subtle but still changes.

BTW, Barb, how much do you charge for your class, I can think of a few people who can attend the class in my company...

LOL...

Also, love your trip reports...