Is this tacky

[Wendy1985]

So my mom and I came up with a idea to host a party for a group of women that have been a big help in my career change we are providing pizza and salads would it be tacky to have them bring there own adult beverage

 

[TheIncredibles!]

No as long as you are providing other drinks as well like water, soda, punch etc.

 

[loveshak22]

I was going to vote yes then changed it to 'other.' I think it would depend on how you phrased the invite. I don't think it woud be tacky to not have alcoholic beverage options - you could make it clear in the invite saying something like 'my mom and I would like to thank you for all your help with my career path! We will have plenty of food, soda and tea' and leave it at that. Then people can bring something alcoholic if they really want. But you don't have to specifically ask them to bring an adult beverage. That to me would be tacky. However, if you really are throwing this party as a thank you then getting one bottle of red wine, one bottle or white, and a 12 pack of craft beer would be nice and not as expensive as buying various types of liquors for everyone's taste (unless you want to make a custom cocktail for the party and just serve that as an option with non-alcoholic drinks).

Edited to add: Unless you know this group of friends are big drinkers and typically expect alcohol at parties then I don't even think you need to bring up what drinks you will have (like I suggested above). But if you know they are big drinkers and would expect alcoholic drinks, then you can clarify in your invite if you want. But, I don't think it would be bad to just not have alcoholic options and leave it at that. I just think asking them to bring their own is where you get into tacky!

 

[AgentMama]

I don't think it's tacky, but I think you should consider having a modest selection of wine or beer. Our friends regularly bring adult beverages within our group to get togethers, but since this is specifically a thank you, if you can afford it, I would. My 2 cents.

 

[Meglen]

this is why ppl add BYOB to invites. not tacky

 

[DLgal]

Hmm...why are you suggesting this? Is it because you don't drink or is it a financial thing? If it's the first, just provide non alcoholic beverages. If it's financial, then it's maybe a little tacky UNLESS you frame it as a fun game, like "Please bring 2 of your favorite adult beverage and we will have a fun exchange so we can all try something new! This way, you also limit people to 2 drinks so everyone can safely drive home and no one gets too rowdy.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Normally, I would say yes. It would be tacky to say "I want to throw a party to thank you all for your help! Bring stuff to this party".

But, if it is an income situation, I imagine these women would be understanding. It seems they helped you find a new job, and perhaps a better financial situation.

 

[Metro West]

this is why ppl add BYOB to invites. not tacky

I agree.

 

[HeatherC]

I’m old school I guess. I feel like anytime you invite people to your home you should be willing to provide the food and refreshments. If it is a pot luck or weekly family gathering, that is another story.

 

[aristocatz]

So my mom and I came up with a idea to host a party for a group of women that have been a big help in my career change we are providing pizza and salads would it be tacky to have them bring there own adult beverage

Are you expecting people to bring gifts? Either way though, I don't think it's tacky. Just be sure to offer other non-alcoholic beverages (soda, water, etc)

 

[CynBeth]

I would just provide non alcoholic beverages and leave it at that.

 

[tzolkin]

How many people are you planning to have? Especially if it’s just a few women, my recommendation would be to provide some modest alcohol offerings (like just a few inexpensive bottles of wine) and most likely people will bring more even if you don’t ask.

I always plan to provide everything when we invite guests over, but I have found that most people typically bring alcohol anyway. My husband and I pretty much always bring craft beer to any party/dinner/family gathering/etc that we attend as well. I think it’s the norm with alcohol because people have so many different preferences that it’s nearly impossible for the host to provide something that everyone will enjoy.

That said, “BYOB” is very common. I’ve seen it so many times throughout my life that I don’t find it tacky.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I voted tacky...I just wouldn't bring it up. Pizza, salads, and iced tea/water/coffee seems like a nice thank you luncheon...so just do that.

 

[Grand Koalafornian]

I don't think it's tacky. When I was younger and didn't drink out of preference, I had a few BYOB parties because I knew nothing about alcoholic beverages (what to buy) and I didn't want to pay a lot of money for something I didn't like. No one ever complained because they knew I didn't drink.

I have also had dry parties, and I see nothing wrong with that as long as you make it clear on the invitation. I think people preferred BYOB, though.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I voted tacky. If it were just a "girls night" get together and you were providing the pizza, I wouldn't think twice about asking people to BYOB. But, since it is a "thank you" party for these people, I do think it's tacky to ask them to bring something.

 

[starry_solo]

Tacky...

 

[JimMIA]

I don't think it's tacky at all. I think it's very nice to want to thank people who have been helpful, and I don't go to parties expecting a full-on open bar.

I do think it would be important to let them know that they are either welcome to bring alcoholic beverages, or that you DON'T want alcohol...whichever is the case.

A middle ground would be to provide some alcohol, like beer and/or wine, but not hard liquor. A LOT depends on how many people you are inviting, what your budget is, etc. Again, let people know what to expect.

 

[tjmw2727]

Not tacky.

If you are ok with alcohol just let them know you will be providing soft drinks but if they prefer something alcoholic they are welcome to bring that along.

If you would prefer this to be a dry event just don't mention anything on the invitations.

Congratulations on the career change and I hope the thank you party goes well.

 

[loveshak22]

I voted tacky. If it were just a "girls night" get together and you were providing the pizza, I wouldn't think twice about asking people to BYOB. But, since it is a "thank you" party for these people, I do think it's tacky to ask them to bring something.

Agree - BYOB is very common and I wouldn't think twice if I was hosting a party to ask people to bring alcohol, but not when the purpose of the party is to thank these women for helping her with her recent career change.

 

[Wendy1985]

Thanks for all the insight I am not expecting gifts I hesitate to provide adult beverages because I don’t know anything about them I can ask them what their drink of choice is though that way they don’t have to bring anything