Just a Pinch.. Post for the women here

[DeeBee3]

As someone said earlier, I do think a lot of doctors are "afraid" of prescribing or suggesting certain meds because of the raging opioid addiction in the US. And, of course, some people have very high pain tolerances. I think it's a mixed bag. Of course, there are also doctors/nurses who brush off your complaints.

And I would be remiss if I didn't post my daily PSA - stop using TikTok. Baaaaaaad vibes all the way around. (expecting blow back from this one

 

[dez1978]

I was awake for mine. The actual procedure was not too horrible, but the pain after was what horrible for me.

I cannot imagine. I was out for mine, but afterwards the pain wasn't too bad.

I went to the hospital once for extreme pain. I told them it was a 9 (I am very literal so nothing could really ever be a 10 to me since I could always imagine that there’s a potential for something to be worse) and that I had three unmedicated childbirths and this was worse. I told them that I believed it was a kidney stone.

They wouldn’t do anything or really even evaluate me for hours because they were waiting for me to produce a urine sample (which I could not despite sitting on the toilet for hours writhing in pain). Eventually they decided to do a CT scan when I started vomiting repeatedly (from the pain). But, of course, they still made me wait to try to produce a urine sample and then eventually took a blood sample for a pregnancy test (I was certain I was not pregnant and honestly would not have cared if I was at that point).

Surprise, surprise. I did have a kidney stone that was lodged at the entrance to one of my ureters because it was too large to pass. They sent me home to wait until the next afternoon when they scheduled my procedure and suggested I take some over the counter meds in the meantime.

When the doctor came in with my results he was very chipper, laughed a bit, and said, “it’s so weird because this didn’t present as a kidney stone at all because you weren’t really in any pain when you arrived.” I asked both him and the nurse, “What part of 9 out of 10. Way worse than childbirth gave you the impression that I wasn’t in horrible pain?” I was informed that normally women with kidney stones will tell you it’s an 11 or higher (which is NOT an option to my literal brain) and they are screaming and flailing around (which is what I felt like doing, but I find it embarrassing to be in pain in front of other people so I have developed the ability to restrain myself).

Since that experience, every man I have ever spoken to who had a kidney stone said they were given an IV immediately in the ER and morphine for the pain plus drugs to take home. And they all had small stones that they passed quickly. (Which I have had at home many times and never even felt the need to seek medical attention.) I know everyone experiences pain differently, but I do believe that I was just not taken seriously because I was a woman and was calm.


You can get anesthesia (if the office offers it), but most likely your insurance would not pay for it. I run an anesthesia company. We do some in-office anesthesia for certain things like vasectomies or dental procedures that typically don’t “require” it. The anesthesia is either not covered by insurance at all or there has to be a diagnosis like severe anxiety to justify them covering it.

This plays into this thread because if it has been assumed for decades that women don’t need anesthesia or medication for these procedures, the insurance companies deem it unnecessary even though it may be beneficial to the patient. And because insurance doesn’t cover it, the office doesn’t feel the need to offer it.

Insurance coverage for things for men vs women is infuriating as well. DH, he has gotten testosterone shots off and on for a few years, covered 100% by insurance. Well, he pays like $8 for the vial but nothing for the nurse visit for the shot, every 2 weeks. I get testosterone pellets, bc I without them I have literally zero testosterone and women still need some even tho much less than men. DH is really ok with out his. Without mine, I have zero libido (which is just as important to women as men) am exhausted all the time and other issues. I pay $475 every 4 months for mine. It takes like 5 min to put them in and most of that is waiting for the lidocaine to work.

 

[Moliphino]

I went to the hospital once for extreme pain. I told them it was a 9 (I am very literal so nothing could really ever be a 10 to me since I could always imagine that there’s a potential for something to be worse) and that I had three unmedicated childbirths and this was worse. I told them that I believed it was a kidney stone.

They wouldn’t do anything or really even evaluate me for hours because they were waiting for me to produce a urine sample (which I could not despite sitting on the toilet for hours writhing in pain). Eventually they decided to do a CT scan when I started vomiting repeatedly (from the pain). But, of course, they still made me wait to try to produce a urine sample and then eventually took a blood sample for a pregnancy test (I was certain I was not pregnant and honestly would not have cared if I was at that point).

Surprise, surprise. I did have a kidney stone that was lodged at the entrance to one of my ureters because it was too large to pass. They sent me home to wait until the next afternoon when they scheduled my procedure and suggested I take some over the counter meds in the meantime.

When the doctor came in with my results he was very chipper, laughed a bit, and said, “it’s so weird because this didn’t present as a kidney stone at all because you weren’t really in any pain when you arrived.” I asked both him and the nurse, “What part of 9 out of 10. Way worse than childbirth gave you the impression that I wasn’t in horrible pain?” I was informed that normally women with kidney stones will tell you it’s an 11 or higher (which is NOT an option to my literal brain) and they are screaming and flailing around (which is what I felt like doing, but I find it embarrassing to be in pain in front of other people so I have developed the ability to restrain myself).

Since that experience, every man I have ever spoken to who had a kidney stone said they were given an IV immediately in the ER and morphine for the pain plus drugs to take home. And they all had small stones that they passed quickly. (Which I have had at home many times and never even felt the need to seek medical attention.) I know everyone experiences pain differently, but I do believe that I was just not taken seriously because I was a woman and was calm.

I think doctors expect women to be hysterical when in pain, when in reality most women handle it more stoically than men. Similar to the stereotype that women faint at the sight of blood. Like, you know we deal with blood and pain on a monthly basis, right? Why is the accepted "norm" that we can't handle it?

 

[dez1978]

stop using TikTok. Baaaaaaad vibes all the way around.

No lol. It's enteraining. Like any other social media, you need to know not to take things too seriously, and know thats not where you should get your real news from, but there are some really funny people on there. And some very talented singers and cooks. We've gotten a ton of really good meal ideas from there. My kids on the other hand, are not allowed to have or watch tiktok.

 

[DeeBee3]

No lol. It's enteraining. Like any other social media, you need to know not to take things too seriously, and know thats not where you should get your real news from, but there are some really funny people on there. And some very talented singers and cooks. We've gotten a ton of really good meal ideas from there. My kids on the other hand, are not allowed to have or watch tiktok.

Yes, mainly my suggestion is for anyone who not "adult" - not able to know fact from fiction. Although that is harder and harder these days! There is terrible security on the app so it is not safe for kids if you are interested in keeping their ID/info off the internet.

DisBoards is the extent of my social media and I'm not yet 40.

 

[dez1978]

Yes, mainly my suggestion is for anyone who not "adult" - not able to know fact from fiction. Although that is harder and harder these days! There is terrible security on the app so it is not safe for kids if you are interested in keeping their ID/info off the internet.

DisBoards is the extent of my social media and I'm not yet 40.

I don't post or make any tiktoks bc I refuse to put myself out there like that and be bullied by the keyboard warriors lol. Really the only SM I post on is here and fb. But even that I have locked down and the friends I have are actual friends not just random ppl. But my kids have friends whose parents allow them to have tiktok and that surprises me

 

[monsterkitty]

And then there are these kinds of stories. She repeatedly went to the dr, many diff drs telling them something was wrong and was told it was stress, or she needed to lose a few pounds and after 3 years it ended up being a volleyball sized cancerous tumor on her ovary.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/d...a-volleyball-size-tumor/ar-AATDYnF?ocid=ientp

This is exactly what happened to a really good friend of mine when we were around 23. She had been in pain for at least 3 years and every time she went to the doctor or ER she was brushed off. When they finally discovered her tumor, she told them that the pain was so bad that if they didn't find the source of her pain and they sent her home she was going to commit suicide. That got their attention. When they did a CT scan they found a tumor the size of a volleyball lodged between her abdominal wall and uterus. The doctor was extremely irate that it hadn't been discovered before as it was not that hard to miss.

Brushing things off can also happen to men. My father went to the ER with the classic heart attack symptoms. However, because he was only 36 they treated it as constipation. He lost over 50% of his heart that day and it eventually killed him.

 

[HannaBelle]

I went to the hospital once for extreme pain. I told them it was a 9 (I am very literal so nothing could really ever be a 10 to me since I could always imagine that there’s a potential for something to be worse)...

I know everyone experiences pain differently, but I do believe that I was just not taken seriously because I was a woman and was calm.

I can completely relate to this on so many levels. Yes, you can be in excruciating pain and still be very calm. I try so hard not to panic because then I hurt and I am a hot mess. I HATE any type of medical procedure and get extreme anxiety.

After years of some good, but mostly bad medical experiences, I have learned to advocate for myself.

I tore my achilles tendon several years ago and it was the absolutely worst pain I have ever experienced. I literally passed out and woke up yelling and cursing from the pain. By the time I got to the doctor’s office I had pulled myself together. He proceeded to roll my ankle around telling it was not torn. I insisted I was in severe pain and it there was zero chance it was not torn. He refused to do scans because insurance would not pay for it. I agreed to pay out of pocket regardless of what the insurance company would or would not pay for. He called me after hours that night to schedule surgery because my tendon was torn. After recovering, I have not been back to that dr.

In high school I had my wisdom teeth removed. I repeatedly told the doctor that I was not numb, that he was hurting me and I could feel him cutting into my gums. He disagreed; told me it was just pressure. After the second tooth I lost it, started yelling and told him to get the F away from me. My mother heard me from the waiting room and stormed in. We had a come to Jesus meeting and I got more drugs before he proceeded with the other 2 teeth.

Here is my issue. Why do we have to get to the point of hysterics to be taken seriously? That infuriates me to no end. I was raised to be a "proper" southern lady, stoic and demure. I have decided that is not who I want to be. I raised my daughter to kick **** and take names when politeness proves ineffective.

Before every procedure now I make sure the anesthesiologist knows that I am scared death for the procedure, I do not want the be there, I will wake up vomiting, I am a red head and require additional amounts of anesthesia. Things have gone much better in recent years. Even without the yelling and cursing. =D

 

[HannaBelle]

This whole thread is giving me anxiety.

 

[Donald13]

While I agree we need to speak up, more often than not we are still blown off. You shouldn't have to insist on numbing meds for something they know is going to hurt. You shouldn't have to tolerate pain just because you can. Based on the comments in so many of those videos, women are asking for pain management and being ignored.

While their male doctor said it doesn’t hurt. And they are made to feel like they are just looking for a drug fix. It’s ridiculous. To be blunt, having something shoved up your cervix WILL BE PAINFUL!! A local to numb the area is not unreasonable

 

[dez1978]

Here is my issue. Why do we have to get to the point of hysterics to be taken seriously? That infuriates me to no end. I was raised to be a "proper" southern lady, stoic and demure. I have decided that is not who I want to be. I raised my daughter to kick **** and take names when politeness proves ineffective.

Right? When I had my 2nd c section, the contractions afterwards were excurciating. And I was shaking so bad I was afraid to hold the baby. It wasn't until my husband threw a fit that they gave me anything. I'm a "hold it together" sort of person. We shouldn't have to wait until the pain is so bad we can't hold it together anymore to get something. Meanwhile, my husband had back surgery, which was supposed to be outpatient, and he just calmly tells them his pain is at a 10 and here they come with all the drugs and offer to keep him over night

 

[DLgal]

This thread is making me so glad I live in a place with high quality medical care. Geez. I recently went to a dermatologist to have a small benign growth on my eyelid looked at and removed and the doctor went to great lengths to make sure I didn't even feel the numbing shot before she burned it off. She used some vibrating device and numbing cream before the lidocaine shot. I did not feel a thing.

My special needs son on Monday had to have some tooth restoration done at the dentist because he chipped off a corner of a front tooth. Same deal. They went above and beyond to make sure that he didn't even feel the numbing shot. They offered laughing gas, but I was confident he'd not need it (and it would have been $150 out of pocket). They were so caring and patient with him and jumped through hoops to make sure he was always comfortable. He is 15, but has extreme oral defensiveness/sensitivity. I had spent a lot of time looking for a good pediatric dentist who had experience working with special needs patients and we are so lucky to have him. I have heard horror stories of kids like mine. being strapped down in, basically, straight jackets for dental procedures. I would never allow something like that. It's so sad that there are doctors who would rather hold a patient down by force or put them under general anesthesia than just learn how to manage these kinds of patients with compassion and alternative techniques.

 

[tzolkin]

As for the second, perhaps I’m reading it wrong but are you saying there are some vasectomies done without anesthetic? Confession time - a darker part of me would find that quite satisfying.

A local anesthetic is used for vasectomies (shot to numb the area). Some doctors will also give oral medication to make the patient more relaxed, some do not.

What I was referring to is what most people would consider “actual anesthesia” where IV meds are given to provide the feeling of being asleep and not remembering the procedure. That is typically not offered for in-office dental procedures or things like vasectomies and the “female” procedures mentioned throughout this thread.

How much pain we consider anesthesia to be necessary for has changed over time and I think it’s relevant to this discussion. For example, it’s now the norm to have an anesthesia provider present to administer propofol for procedures like colonoscopies, but it did not used to be. Perhaps in the future doctors will give women more truthful expectations about various procedures and options for pain management.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I went to the hospital once for extreme pain. I told them it was a 9 (I am very literal so nothing could really ever be a 10 to me since I could always imagine that there’s a potential for something to be worse) and that I had three unmedicated childbirths and this was worse. I told them that I believed it was a kidney stone.

They wouldn’t do anything or really even evaluate me for hours because they were waiting for me to produce a urine sample (which I could not despite sitting on the toilet for hours writhing in pain). Eventually they decided to do a CT scan when I started vomiting repeatedly (from the pain). But, of course, they still made me wait to try to produce a urine sample and then eventually took a blood sample for a pregnancy test (I was certain I was not pregnant and honestly would not have cared if I was at that point).

Surprise, surprise. I did have a kidney stone that was lodged at the entrance to one of my ureters because it was too large to pass. They sent me home to wait until the next afternoon when they scheduled my procedure and suggested I take some over the counter meds in the meantime.

When the doctor came in with my results he was very chipper, laughed a bit, and said, “it’s so weird because this didn’t present as a kidney stone at all because you weren’t really in any pain when you arrived.” I asked both him and the nurse, “What part of 9 out of 10. Way worse than childbirth gave you the impression that I wasn’t in horrible pain?” I was informed that normally women with kidney stones will tell you it’s an 11 or higher (which is NOT an option to my literal brain) and they are screaming and flailing around (which is what I felt like doing, but I find it embarrassing to be in pain in front of other people so I have developed the ability to restrain myself).

Since that experience, every man I have ever spoken to who had a kidney stone said they were given an IV immediately in the ER and morphine for the pain plus drugs to take home. And they all had small stones that they passed quickly. (Which I have had at home many times and never even felt the need to seek medical attention.) I know everyone experiences pain differently, but I do believe that I was just not taken seriously because I was a woman and was calm.


You can get anesthesia (if the office offers it), but most likely your insurance would not pay for it. I run an anesthesia company. We do some in-office anesthesia for certain things like vasectomies or dental procedures that typically don’t “require” it. The anesthesia is either not covered by insurance at all or there has to be a diagnosis like severe anxiety to justify them covering it.

This plays into this thread because if it has been assumed for decades that women don’t need anesthesia or medication for these procedures, the insurance companies deem it unnecessary even though it may be beneficial to the patient. And because insurance doesn’t cover it, the office doesn’t feel the need to offer it.

Besides insurance issues, there also needs to be staff on who can administer it legally and properly, and are ACLS certified, etc. Most offices aren’t going to have that as it’s very expensive to pay people like that and keep their certifications and continuing education up, etc.

 

[Jennasis]

Yes. When I said tolerance I meant for a lot of things, but for the sake of brevity, I didn’t get into it more. But sure, procedures can vary due to many factors. People often tend to lump them all together when they hear the term “hysterectomy”. I had multiple structures out besides the uterus, plus a cystoscopy. And going into it I was very weak with a low hematocrit and an enlarged uterus, so surgery took extra time as did my recovery. But you hear some people recovered in a week and you wonder what‘s wrong with you!

I had a hysterectomy. Took all but my ovaries, but they also found cysts on my ovaries so had to remove those along with uterus, tubes, cervix... I did spend one night in the hospital.

I remember when they were prepping me for surgery, I was approached by a nurse who was in charge of an ongoing surgical study of a new pain management drug/program and asked me if I wanted to participate. Having been made well aware of how painful the aftermath of the surgery was going to be I happily agreed!

Right after I woke up they immediately came to me asking my pain level and wanting to administer the new drug...but I was actually fine. That poor nurse came every hour practically begging me to take the meds but I was shockingly pain free. And so they sent me home with nothing and no test case.

Then the searing gas pain kicked in. It was so bad I could hardly take a breath! Nobody ever mentioned the trapped CO2 pain. I was in agony for hours at home with nothing.

A thousand farts later things improved.

 

[katie01]

I totally understand, and as someone also going through the same thing you are, please research endometrial ablation failure. Not saying you shouldn’t do it, but I was shocked when I found out how widespread the complications are. Everyone I know who had it done regretted it. I just went for a consultation yesterday about other options and was so frustrated that they would only push IUD and ablation on me and not even discuss other options like the progesterone only pill or a hysterectomy (which another doctor had said she’d do, years ago, but I was putting it off). I got the same speech you did about how easy and painless IUD insertion and the biopsy beforehand would be

 

[dez1978]

I totally understand, and as someone also going through the same thing you are, please research endometrial ablation failure. Not saying you shouldn’t do it, but I was shocked when I found out how widespread the complications are. Everyone I know who had it done regretted it. I just went for a consultation yesterday about other options and was so frustrated that they would only push IUD and ablation on me and not even discuss other options like the progesterone only pill or a hysterectomy (which another doctor had said she’d do, years ago, but I was putting it off). I got the same speech you did about how easy and painless IUD insertion and the biopsy beforehand would be

I had mine done 6 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. But i know that my experince isn't the same as everyone elses. Id done BC pills and everything prior and I was fed up doing all that and having the side effects from those pills when I'd had a tubal and didn't really need them.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

As an RN, I’m sorry to hear that some of your experiences have been so bad.

I’ll just add that one thing that may make you feel better about them is that we, as health professionals, also have experiences outside of our work world, that aren’t so great, either. I’ve shared some of my own experiences with procedures, which were generally mostly ok, thankfully, but I’ve had some really bad experiences with other family members and pain management, including my son when he was in the hospital with severe pain and I had to argue with a medical resident about getting him some medication - that the attending doctor had said he should have! I was so mad that the next morning I addressed the whole care team on rounds educating them to why pain management needs to be a priority. One medical student thanked me afterward, promising he would keep that with him as he advanced his career. So that was worth it, I guess. (We‘ve also had some diagnoses missed, and lots of other things, but that’s for another day.)

When I was a newer nurse, I always had empathy for people, but I don’t think I really understood pain as much as I do now, because, well, I hadn’t had a lot myself to that point, and my life experiences weren’t as broad. This is not to say that younger nurses and doctors don’t get it, because I see that they do, too. It’s just to say that unless you’ve experienced true pain in some way, either with yourself or your loved ones, it’s hard to really understand it as well as it needs to be understood when you’re the one making decisions about it. In the hospital, anyway, nurses spend a lot of time advocating for patients not only for pain, but for other things, but not every practitioner feels the same way about everything, and there are so many legal implications now, it’s no wonder people are a little gun shy to order pain medication. Read anywhere and you’ll see that “the medical establishment is responsible” for our opioid crisis, and strict rules are in place for pain medications now, so it’s really not easy to get as much medication as people sometimes want. And every patient is different. Some don’t want to take any medication at all, and others want more than they can rightfully get. Just saying that navigating that path isn’t always easy.

 

[tzolkin]

Besides insurance issues, there also needs to be staff on who can administer it legally and properly, and are ACLS certified, etc. Most offices aren’t going to have that as it’s very expensive to pay people like that and keep their certifications and continuing education up, etc.

Absolutely. But if enough people feel that it’s necessary, practices may change over time what they offer based on what patients want. If you have a good number of patients who expect to receive sedation for their Gyn procedures, perhaps an office could schedule patients who would like anesthesia for their procedure at an outpatient surgery center or they could have one day a month or one day a week that they have an anesthesia provider come to their office so they can offer that option to their patients who want it.

Like I mentioned, it did not used to be the norm for GI procedures. But today I think most patients fully expect that there will be an anesthesia provider for their colonoscopy. Because it’s now an expected service for patient satisfaction, pretty much every GI center employs FT anesthesia coverage.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I totally understand, and as someone also going through the same thing you are, please research endometrial ablation failure. Not saying you shouldn’t do it, but I was shocked when I found out how widespread the complications are. Everyone I know who had it done regretted it. I just went for a consultation yesterday about other options and was so frustrated that they would only push IUD and ablation on me and not even discuss other options like the progesterone only pill or a hysterectomy (which another doctor had said she’d do, years ago, but I was putting it off). I got the same speech you did about how easy and painless IUD insertion and the biopsy beforehand would be

So glad you posted this. Most of the posts I’ve seen here were positive for ablation. Maybe it depends on what the issues are. I was sort of in the same boat as you, it sounds like. My GYN told me that with ablation, pain management is the main issue, so it requires a hospital stay just for that - which I thought was weird since ‘hysterectomy’ was a day procedure. (Peoples’ experiences may be different, just saying what my doctor told me.) She said that most people wish they just did a hysterectomy afterward, so she didn’t recommend ablation for me. (It wouldn’t have helped my issues, anyway, since post operatively we found out I had adenomyosis. FTR I did all the other things you mentioned, too, and nothing helped. For months I was in excruciating pain, could barely walk, and wound up in the ER a couple of times for pain and bleeding issues, etc.) I wound up doing the hyst and have been pretty good ever since. I hope you can get it all figured out. BTW if you Search there is a good, long thread on hysterectomy here. At one time (maybe in the 90s?) there was talk that too many hysterectomies were being done so I think they got away from them for a while. Not sure where that stands now. I’d been trying to avoid it, too.

I had a hysterectomy. Took all but my ovaries, but they also found cysts on my ovaries so had to remove those along with uterus, tubes, cervix... I did spend one night in the hospital.

I remember when they were prepping me for surgery, I was approached by a nurse who was in charge of an ongoing surgical study of a new pain management drug/program and asked me if I wanted to participate. Having been made well aware of how painful the aftermath of the surgery was going to be I happily agreed!

Right after I woke up they immediately came to me asking my pain level and wanting to administer the new drug...but I was actually fine. That poor nurse came every hour practically begging me to take the meds but I was shockingly pain free. And so they sent me home with nothing and no test case.

Then the searing gas pain kicked in. It was so bad I could hardly take a breath! Nobody ever mentioned the trapped CO2 pain. I was in agony for hours at home with nothing.

A thousand farts later things improved.

Lol. The thing that bothered me most after my hyst was bladder pain, believe it or not, and that was from the cystoscopy! They had also done a “fluid challenge” with me when I couldn’t void post operatively (trying to get me out the door that day) and I think it stretched my bladder too much. I had spasms that were awful until I saw someone one day who ordered some pyridium and thankfully that made all the difference (although my bladder has never been the same). Strange, I never had gas pain, either. But I had it with my CSection so I know what you’re talking about!