Just a Pinch.. Post for the women here

[shh]

I think a big part of the problem is that because of the opiod addiction crisis, doctors are pressured to NOT give pain medicine very often. Which sucks because there are many people in legitimate pain that are really screwed because of that.

This angers me so much from a personal perspective. I'm not an addict, but I have to suffer because others are? Disgusting. I HATE this attitude and it's way too prevalent right now. Every provider or pharmacist treats you like a potential addict if you have a legit pain issue and script for pain meds.

A family member suffered horribly because it was a constant fight to get pain relief in or out of the hospital - and he was the opposite of an addict. He avoided all meds unless absolutely necessary and even then, would split a pain pill into 2 or more doses and stretch out the timeframe between them, so he could minimize the dosage he was taking. Does that sound like an addict to anyone?

And yet providers still treated him like he was a criminal and an addict just because he wanted some relief from a horrible, painful joint disease at the end stages of his life! Had we known this would be the callous attitude, we would have pushed for hospice far earlier, as they don't have an issue with justifiable pain relief.

Curious: can you pursue legal action for something like that? Providers who refuse or ignore pleas for pain relief?

 

[shh]

I know!!

And I know it’s not healthy or maybe even… sane.

But I have major hospital/doctor anxiety, & the current status of healthcare protocols just make everything worse. (And the whole process… I’m getting anxious/nervous just thinking about it - making the appointment, the anxiety before the appointment, the waiting in the waiting room, then the waiting in the actual room, the poking & prodding, the doctors’ “doctor-ese,” possible follow-up appointments or going somewhere else for tests, the insurance stuff… just no.) And, in all my years, there‘s only been one doctor I’ve ever come across that I’ve actually liked & w/ whom I felt heard & w/ whom I felt actually calm - my children’s pediatrician.

(And, yes, as much as it gives me anxiety, I‘ve always taken the kids to the doctor as needed - it’s just myself who absolutely avoids any kind of healthcare situation.)

As an example, one night I thought I was having a heart attack, & I decided, “If I’m still alive tomorrow morning, I’m okay.”

And, yes, there have been times I’ve HAD to see a doctor. But, again, if at all possible I avoid it. Whatever will either resolve itself eventually or I’ll learn to live with it.

I completely understand this thinking. You're not the only one I've heard say something like this either. It's not always possible to be your own advocate in many urgent situations - and not everyone is lucky enough to have family/friends that can be a strong advocate for them.

 

[dez1978]

Curious: can you pursue legal action for something like that? Providers who refuse or ignore pleas for pain relief?

You probably could try, but I doubt you'd get anywhere with it. Either the request for pain management would not be noted in the medical records or the dr would note medication seeking behavior.

 

[bookgirl]

Being old AF I remember the narrative of period pain being just part of the process, of childbirth intervention being considered wimpy or unnecceassary, and women being told that they were just using illness as an excuse to shirk responsibilities. Expecially with hidden illness that is only now being recognized.
I have been told by professionals that I have a high pain tolerance (based on a couple of injuries/conditions where I complained of 'some' pain and actually ended up in shock because I didn't realize that much pain was not normal). Don't know how much of that is the societal "just a pinch" narrative and how much is my actual tolerance. I do know that at this point if I feel my level of pain I now pay attention to it.

I now have a chronic condition that has daily pain and I realize that I have always underated my pain, so I try to be proactive and I honestly LIE (to myself). Because I know that I cannot guage my own levels I will play it very safe and overstate my need, because if you've ever gone into shock, it's not fun, and with it being daily I find that what happens is I endure, endure, endure and then I crash and it's debilitating. I still resist any high level pain intervention or treatments, but I'm more willing to use low dose pain meds before I get to the point of being prone, and to request them when I know it's likely to happen.

I do feel like younger care providers are better/more open to discussions on pain and they seem to also be more willing to begin documenting steps early so that it's easier to find the appropriate level of intervention for patients. They are less likely to just throw Class I drugs at you but they at least take you through the process so if you do get to the point of needing pain management they can safely proscribe it or pass you on to specialist that are better trained to deal with it.

 

[bennifer]

This thread makes me sad, mad and annoyed! As many of you, I've gone thru years of abnormal bleeding, painful periods, punch biopsies that "can't hurt that bad". I've also been told that I'm just in peri menopause for 13 years. I have chronic migraines and hormone therapy of all kind makes my migraines worse, so I asked about the ablation. No, she didn't think that was the right answer. How about an IUD? No, thank you. I don't want that for many reasons. I almost had my dr convinced to finally do a hysterectomy but then 2020 happened. I don't understand how a medical professional can think that a 67 day period is just "normal for your 40s".

And also, there was this. Right around Thanksgiving 2019 I started having chest pain. Both of my parents have had heart attacks, my dad's first one was when he was 42, so I thought I should probably go get it checked out. I was not having a heart attack, but my blood pressure was dangerously high. I had previously been diagnosed with HBP, been on medication and we thought it was under control. I was admitted and had the standard tests just to rule out a cardiac event because of my history. Every single nurse and dr I saw said the same thing "It's clearly your HBP causing this chest pain. It's a natural warning that your body gives" until a new hospitalist came in and decided to discharge me with GERD. He started talking about my abdomen pain and I interrupted him twice to say that wasn't at all where I was having pain. Both times he rolled his eyes, sighed and told me that he knows where I was "actually" having the pain. The nurse came in to go over the paperwork with me and as she read it her voice got really high and loud, lol. She couldn't believe he would discharge me with a clearly wrong diagnosis, either. Oh, and no, of course he wasn't sending me home with a prescription for meds because I had GERD and not HPB.

I also have something going on that I have no idea where to start. I have what I call "traveling joint pain" and when it starts, I can't move whatever joint it is. Sometimes it's my hip and I can barely walk ans I fall down; sometimes it's my shoulder and I can't lift my arm. I have tingling in my hands, feet and face. Etc, etc, etc. I have a lot of symptoms and no answers. My MRIs of my joints and my brain come back normal, so I get the "Huh. That's weird" I've been ignoring it for a couple of years now because 1-Covid and 2- IDK if any dr will even listen because so many have just blown me off as a hypochondriac.

 

[dez1978]

This thread makes me sad, mad and annoyed! As many of you, I've gone thru years of abnormal bleeding, painful periods, punch biopsies that "can't hurt that bad". I've also been told that I'm just in peri menopause for 13 years. I have chronic migraines and hormone therapy of all kind makes my migraines worse, so I asked about the ablation. No, she didn't think that was the right answer. How about an IUD? No, thank you. I don't want that for many reasons. I almost had my dr convinced to finally do a hysterectomy but then 2020 happened. I don't understand how a medical professional can think that a 67 day period is just "normal for your 40s".

And also, there was this. Right around Thanksgiving 2019 I started having chest pain. Both of my parents have had heart attacks, my dad's first one was when he was 42, so I thought I should probably go get it checked out. I was not having a heart attack, but my blood pressure was dangerously high. I had previously been diagnosed with HBP, been on medication and we thought it was under control. I was admitted and had the standard tests just to rule out a cardiac event because of my history. Every single nurse and dr I saw said the same thing "It's clearly your HBP causing this chest pain. It's a natural warning that your body gives" until a new hospitalist came in and decided to discharge me with GERD. He started talking about my abdomen pain and I interrupted him twice to say that wasn't at all where I was having pain. Both times he rolled his eyes, sighed and told me that he knows where I was "actually" having the pain. The nurse came in to go over the paperwork with me and as she read it her voice got really high and loud, lol. She couldn't believe he would discharge me with a clearly wrong diagnosis, either. Oh, and no, of course he wasn't sending me home with a prescription for meds because I had GERD and not HPB.

I also have something going on that I have no idea where to start. I have what I call "traveling joint pain" and when it starts, I can't move whatever joint it is. Sometimes it's my hip and I can barely walk ans I fall down; sometimes it's my shoulder and I can't lift my arm. I have tingling in my hands, feet and face. Etc, etc, etc. I have a lot of symptoms and no answers. My MRIs of my joints and my brain come back normal, so I get the "Huh. That's weird" I've been ignoring it for a couple of years now because 1-Covid and 2- IDK if any dr will even listen because so many have just blown me off as a hypochondriac.

Sadly that seems to happen to a lot of women. Men too but I don't think as often. We just get blown off or told that it's in our heads or not the thing we think it is. I went to a work comp dr bc of wrist pain I'd been having. She told me I needed to cut my nails or find a new job bc my nails were causing me to have pain by changing how I grip things (no they don't, they are not that long). Go see a real dr and turns out I'd torn the cartilege in my wrist and needed surgery.

 

[katie01]

So glad you posted this. Most of the posts I’ve seen here were positive for ablation. Maybe it depends on what the issues are. I was sort of in the same boat as you, it sounds like. My GYN told me that with ablation, pain management is the main issue, so it requires a hospital stay just for that - which I thought was weird since ‘hysterectomy’ was a day procedure. (Peoples’ experiences may be different, just saying what my doctor told me.) She said that most people wish they just did a hysterectomy afterward, so she didn’t recommend ablation for me. (It wouldn’t have helped my issues, anyway, since post operatively we found out I had adenomyosis. FTR I did all the other things you mentioned, too, and nothing helped. For months I was in excruciating pain, could barely walk, and wound up in the ER a couple of times for pain and bleeding issues, etc.) I wound up doing the hyst and have been pretty good ever since. I hope you can get it all figured out. BTW if you Search there is a good, long thread on hysterectomy here. At one time (maybe in the 90s?) there was talk that too many hysterectomies were being done so I think they got away from them for a while. Not sure where that stands now. I’d been trying to avoid it, too.



Lol. The thing that bothered me most after my hyst was bladder pain, believe it or not, and that was from the cystoscopy! They had also done a “fluid challenge” with me when I couldn’t void post operatively (trying to get me out the door that day) and I think it stretched my bladder too much. I had spasms that were awful until I saw someone one day who ordered some pyridium and thankfully that made all the difference (although my bladder has never been the same). Strange, I never had gas pain, either. But I had it with my CSection so I know what you’re talking about!

Thank you so much, I have joined some Facebook pages, and by far it seems like people’s experiences with a hysterectomy were far better and more successful long term than ablation. I do understand that an ablation will work for many, but I have now read hundreds and hundreds of posts of women reporting the exact same issues after ablations, sometimes right away, and other times months or years down the road.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

Whoever said the cervix has no nerve endings does not have one. I think that those who do not have one should have a chunk taken from the corresponding body part and tell me there are no nerve endings!! OH and there WILL be blood!! This is probably not PC but up till recently, my gynos were male and I often thought how the heck do you know how I feel!!

 

[VandVsmama]

Re: endometrial ablation - I had one about 12 years ago. It's been wonderful since then. No more periods. It was liberating! My ob/gyn at the time was amazing...she participated in Doctors Without Borders to do gynecological reconstructive surgery in the Congo.

 

[DLgal]

Whoever said the cervix has no nerve endings does not have one. I think that those who do not have one should have a chunk taken from the corresponding body part and tell me there are no nerve endings!! OH and there WILL be blood!! This is probably not PC but up till recently, my gynos were male and I often thought how the heck do you know how I feel!!

This might be the dumbest claim I've ever heard. If the cervix didn't have nerve endings, labor would be painless.

 

[smokeyblue]

20-some years ago I had a surgery that is known to be the most painful abdominal surgery that you can have. had an epidural for several days and had to be in the hospital for over 2 weeks. It was terribly painful and it took me 2 years to feel okay and several years to feel normal. I would go through that again before I would ever have another IUD placed without anesthesia. It was so painful I started to go into shock. Once I was stable they left the room for me to stand up on my own and I nearly fell in the puddle of blood that was on the floor. They never left out any pads or anything for me to use. Why did they let me leave and drive home myself after that?

 

[Disney_Alli]

My sister went to the hospital in labor with my youngest nephew and was standing at the desk checking in. There was some confusion going on at the time and another nurse came up to the desk and they were talking and the nurse my sister had been checking in with says “and this lady is in labor but it’s clearly not very advanced yet” to which my sister interrupted and said “how do you know that?!? I’ve had multiple contractions while I’ve been standing here!” The nurse was shocked as she was so calm. Within 90 minutes she was holding her 9lbs 1oz child (my “little” nephew her first was 8oz heavier) after a drug free fast and hard labor that hit before they’d even finished checking her in. As they were taking her to a delivery room they had to ask her name! Because she wasn’t screaming in pain they were just carrying on dealing with the alarm going off and the baby who’s tests had been logged under his mom’s profile instead of the woman in front of them.

 

[RangerPooh]

Thinking back, I think that DH received more pain management for his snip-snip procedure than I did following four child births, 3 IUD insertions/removals, 2 mammograms', and 2 cervical biopsies.

Women's pain is not taken seriously. I consider myself to have a decent pain tolerance level, but am not afraid to scream or complain when that thresh hold has been pushed. Perhaps medical providers need to experience what its like to be tasered/shocked/stretched/pinched/prodded at various levels in sensitive places to understand what pain actually feels like. Stop using standardized patients/mannequins for everything. Instead try it out on a classmate.

 

[leahgoogle]

This is timely because I was just reading about lack of pain management for uterine biopsies in my hormones group. Many, many women shared the same experience. It hurt like hell! That being said.....what would an appropriate pain management plan be for a uterine biopsy? Twilight sedation? Valium? I'm not ruling out having one in the future and I want to be prepared. I have gone through enough painful procedures in my life that I have no tolerance for them now...lol.

 

[PezRuth]

you were awake for an ablation???? I was def put under for mine.

I was awake for my ablation. Done in the office. I was given localized pain meds and numbing. My issue is that I was told afterwards I would have some mild cramping maybe. 5 hours later I was curled up in a ball under a desk because it was the only way I could not be in pain. I called the oncall doc and as I was starting to explain my pain. My husband grabbed the phone and said that I was underselling it (which I was) and I actually needed real pain meds which I did. Once the doctor heard that they were called in.

 

[RangerPooh]

My husband grabbed the phone and said that I was underselling it (which I was) and I actually needed real pain meds which I did. Once the doctor heard that they were called in.

This is me. There has been a few times where my pain whether from a migraine or procedure down there was more than I could bear. Yet being a trooper I dealt with it. Sadly I was too dismissive or the doctor shrugged it off until DH complained that it was not an acceptable level. That for someone with a moderate-high pain tolerance level to be crying in pain, something was wrong or really bad. Yet it was his concern that would get a nre prescription made or follow up appointment scheduled when there was none available previously.

 

[RangerPooh]

I just read an article about IUDs. Towards the end the ladies interviewed discussed the pain and how they wish they had known more about it prior to having the procedure. Told that it was mild discomfort. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/rushed-iuds-trump-took-office-153123494.html

Honestly, before I got my first IUD I had heard that the insertion was painful. I had also asked a few girlfriends if they had experience with them. True I was 31 and just had my 4th kid and did not need anymore, but three of my girl friends had IUDs. I also read about the process online and therefore went into it knowing full well that it was not going to be a mild discomfort, but more. As I previously mentioned, I just received my third IUD. Possibly the most painful one of all, but I would not do anything else. Period free is wonderful!

 

[daisy2013]

I had an HSG- test to see if Fallopian tubes were blocked. I was told it was an in and out procedure like and X-ray with some dye. They lied. It was very painful. And took forever. At the end they gave me an Advil. And then when I went to leave the nurse was like where’s your ride. I said I’m it. No one told me to get a ride and since all I had was Advil why would I need one. She had me wait half an hour in the waiting room before I could leave in case I passed out from cramping. Yet all my pain warranted was Advil.

 

[bjscheel]

Ugh, yesterday my doctor said I have to get off hormone BC pills. Suggested a Paragard IUD which I thought sounded like no big deal until I came here. And then read reviews elsewhere online I'm 45 so would likely just need to do it once but IDK what to do.

 

[Cheburashka]

It isn't only women. My son has a severe ear disorder that's been difficult to treat & precisely diagnose. Seems to be multi-causational as he has two conditions diagnosed via lab tests. On the way through this journey, a few doctors have suggested that it's all in his head. That's what some doctors say when they don't know what to do. I got the same response twice in the past when presenting with pains that general practitioners didn't understand. "Take this depression questionnaire." Went to specialists both times & both were diagnosable and painful conditions that showed up clearly on x-rays.

So sick of doctors who gaslight patients, saying things are all in your head.