Keeping Political Discussions away from Your Thanksgiving Table

[jimmymc]

Spray bottle.

 

[wenrob]

Omg, we could never have alcohol at our family get togethers or World War 3 would break out

We used to pre-drink and…other things on the way to my mother’s side. Then about midway through “walk to the 7-11” for something forgotten. Conveniently there was a bar right next door. It was great because they weren’t drinkers and we had a nice chill buzz that allowed us to just nod and smile. Buzz was the key though, hammered would most likely had different results.

 

[Beezle2]

Based on this thread it seems the goal isn't to avoid political discussion, but to avoid discussion with those with whom you disagree.

I don't care to hear anyone's nonsense (just move the conversation along in these situations), but I am fine with a reasonable, intelligent discussion. Of course, as this thread reveals, most people feel compelled to confront those who disagree. What a sad way to live.

Allowing your religious nuts relatives to talk trash about "the gays" when you have gays in the family, maybe sitting right there, deserves a slap down and a disinvite to all other gatherings. I don't care how old they are or who they think they are. If they express those kind of views, I hope the door hits 'em on the way out.

 

[Beezle2]

With my BIL, at holiday get togethers, he enjoys a LOT of alcohol and the more he drinks, the louder, pushier, and more belligerent he gets about religion and politics, to the point where he's wagging his finger in your face 2 inches from your nose and calling you rude names because you tried to civilly disagree w/him. If he were willing to be civil & respectful about it, I'd have no problem talking religion & politics with him. But he's demonstrated many times that he is not capable of being civil or respectful about it.

Hence, the extended family rule in my house of "no religion or politics." Next time he comes over and pulls that nonsense, I really am going to use a squirt bottle to shoot water at him.

I got anxiety reading that. THOSE people..who would ever feel like they HAD to invite someone like that? Get the squirt bottle!!

 

[jdb in AZ]

Omg, we could never have alcohol at our family get togethers or World War 3 would break out

My grandmother never drank, but one year at a holiday get-together, one of her sons-in-law spiked her drink. She had no idea that she was buzzed, but laughed and laughed and everyone else laughed to hear her so happy.

 

[Smugpugmug]

Allowing your religious nuts relatives to talk trash about "the gays" when you have gays in the family, maybe sitting right there, deserves a slap down and a disinvite to all other gatherings. I don't care how old they are or who they think they are. If they express those kind of views, I hope the door hits 'em on the way out.

One of my uncles is extremely homophobic, even to the point where he threw his daughter out when he found out that she had a girlfriend. That disgusted me so much that he is no longer invited to any family events and I don't speak to him at all. Don't really feel bad about it either tbh.

 

[Genie+]

Hold the phone! I've never seen a baby pigeon!!!!

...Can open, worms everywhere!!

JK (of course)

P.S. The other thread prompts me to suggest a fart machine for the center of the table! Make clear the rules about what not to discuss (in general, so no one feels singled out) and what the 'consequence' will be -- and, then, if anyone forgets, press that button quick!

I’ve never seen a dead pigeon either. What’s going on?!
https://saynotosmokedetectors.com/ is another fun response to the sour facebook crowd.
When people make jabs at our Disney trips I admit we’re not even sure why after reading the latest mousetrap news.

Generally our family has learned to nip controversial topic/comment in the bud by just moving on without response. Our family runs the whole gamut from a successful professional political speech writer to highly dedicated non-profit professionals. At the end of the day we have so much more in common than not. When the comment about no straws comes up - nobody cares anymore, move on. The IRL ignore button works well at large gatherings where you can politely make yourself ‘distracted’ by a more enjoyable conversation nearby.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Allowing your religious nuts relatives to talk trash about "the gays" when you have gays in the family, maybe sitting right there, deserves a slap down and a disinvite to all other gatherings. I don't care how old they are or who they think they are. If they express those kind of views, I hope the door hits 'em on the way out.

I agree that treating gay people as lesser people & saying hateful things about them Is despicable. So is calling someone a religious nut. I wish the anti-religion segment would realize they're making some religious people dig their heels in deeper. There will always be extremes. Giving them ammunition isn't helping anyone, especially religious people who love & respect everyone. We're all losing in this fight.

 

[Sanchez]

Allowing your religious nuts relatives to talk trash about "the gays" when you have gays in the family, maybe sitting right there, deserves a slap down and a disinvite to all other gatherings. I don't care how old they are or who they think they are. If they express those kind of views, I hope the door hits 'em on the way out.

You are referencing extremes . . . and I certainly agree with you. I don't think that was the tenor of the conversation though.

 

[Brian Noble]

Any tried and true methods to keep conversations civil?

"If you insist on discussing politics, you'll have to do it at the Kids' Table."

 

[Beezle2]

You are referencing extremes . . . and I certainly agree with you. I don't think that was the tenor of the conversation though.

Someone posted about their relative that goes so far as to shake his drunken finger under your nose. I have witnessed a lot of "extreme" so it is my reference point. My husband comes from a more quiet sort of melodrama but it can be just as deadly.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I get what you are saying. Only SOME religious people love and respect everyone though, and in that case I don't imagine they would get the boot for saying crappy things to people. I don't do appeasement for ****ty people though, it only encourages them to believe what they are saying is ok. I am not anti religious..I'm anti richard cranium

The majority of religious people I know love & respect everyone. Those who don't aren't motivated by religion. For most of them, politics are the main motivator. They just hide behind religion to support their agenda. Unfortunately, the anti-religion segment, including those on this board, lump all religious people in one group. Some of the things posted here are extremely offensive to believers. Many of whom are the same people who support others in living their lives the way they choose.

 

[SteveH]

So I have a home bar, if people are in the bar any topic is fine, never had any issues and if somebody doesn't like the conversation they can move to another part of the house. Around the table? Hell no, its about family and friends, laughs and good cheer. Since one son is Gay and a Niece married a black guy some might think its a hot topic, never come up once.

That said, I went to in-laws for Thanksgiving one year (once) and the father of the home started telling some off color stories from his past and I just got up and walked away and went outside. We've never been invited back, and they've always declined our invites to come over - fine by me.

 

[Beezle2]

The majority of religious people I know love & respect everyone. Those who don't aren't motivated by religion. For most of them, politics are the main motivator. They just hide behind religion to support their agenda. Unfortunately, the anti-religion segment, including those on this board, lump all religious people in one group. Some of the things posted here are extremely offensive to believers. Many of which are the same people who support others in living their lives the way they choose.

I swear I do not lump all religious people together and I am sorry to have made you feel so. I think it must be hard to be loving and caring and see what the extremes do in religions name. I imagine Christians and Muslims and Jewish people must feel a shared horror and I will try and be more careful with my word choice.

 

[Tink-osophy]

You apparently don't live where there are skyways connecting buildings? I have seen a billion baby pigeons in my life - they build nests on the skyways, right outside the windows. Adorable, except all the poop...

I think you missed where I wrote I was joking, of course.

 

[Evinrude21]

I thought this was going to be about canned or fresh cranberry sauce

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don’t think all people who “don’t like gays” are religious, necessarily, are they? Some people are just jerks, plain and simple.

This thread has made me very sad. Last year at one of our family’s holidays a heated argument broke out over politics. It was horrifying, between two people who really loved eachother. Now one of them is gone (passed). I don’t think they ever resolved it. All those years of loving memories overshadowed by that one awful moment.

It sounds like some people here place more importance on views and beliefs than family relationships. I get it; I had some of those obnoxious relatives, too, but they, for the most part, are all gone now. Those of us left want to remain close so we strive to keep it civil (usually) even thought it’s clear we’re not all on the same page politically.

Here’s hoping that everyone has enjoyable holidays.

 

[Neapolitan Ice Cream]

We still debate politics. After all, it's safe here - we all agree on the major points and it can get quite funny!

 

[Kennywood]

If you want to get a huge argument going between the guys, ask this....

Ginger or Mary Ann?

 

[tarheelmjfan]

If you want to get a huge argument going between the guys, ask this....

Ginger or Mary Ann?

The arguments at our large family gatherings are always UNC vs. Duke centric. We only have two people in the family that want to talk about politics all of which tends to be propaganda driven nonsense. We all try to avoid one-on-one conversations with them. They don't typically bring it up in a crowd.