Living near or away from family

[cluvsdisney]

Except my sister, my family is out of state. I see my mother 4-6 times a year depending on what’s going on during the year. My extended family loves near my mother so I see them 1-2 times a year. I see my sister fairly regularly.

My in laws are pretty local; the furthest being about 90 minutes from us. We see my BIL & SIL several times a year but the rest of the family every other year or so.

 

[LSUmiss]

Live in the same neighborhood as 3 family members & about 15 min from the rest of the close family. But that’s pretty common here in NOLA. Most ppl I know are similar. I have extended family in other parts of country.

 

[brookmey]

10 years ago we moved from MI to TX. It was the best thing for us since both our families at the time were full of drama and dysfunction and we needed to get far away from all of it. My relationship with my mom has improved greatly since we don't see each other much. We see my parents once or twice a year. We've gone to Disney with them quite a bit and they come down to visit us.

We see DH's dad once or twice a year. He comes down for a week every November. We only see my MIL if we go to MI. She doesn't come down to see us. All of our siblings are in MI, but we only see them when we go up there.

Moving to TX was the right thing for us and it's where we're supposed to be, but I would love to move back to MI. I just haven't been able to connect with anyone or anything here. I just don't feel like I fit and I have tried. It's especially hard right now since my dad has Parkinson's and is experiencing a number of complications from it. His doctor has given him 6 months to a year and my mom just recently put him in a nursing home. It's so hard being this far away from home when he doesn't have much time left.

 

[Katy Belle]

My mom and MIL live about 15 minutes apart. We live about 6 hours from them. In our 30 years of marriage, this is the closest we’ve lived to them. We go five or six times a year, for 4-6 days at a time. Even when we lived 16 hours away, we visited 3-4 times a year, for about a week at a time.

DHs siblings live very close to his Mom. My siblings live 2 hours from my mom. We generally see them when we visit our moms.

 

[Sabeking]

My mom has passed but we have always lived in the same town as both sets of parents. My DH and I have known each other since 7th grade.

 

[Disney Doll]

Mom and Dad lived 10 minutes away. After mom died Dad moved in with me so he’s very close now!

Inlaws lived 5 minutes away. Favorite sister in law and her hubby live 5 minutes away. My brother lives about 15-20 minutes away.

DH has 2 sisters that moved out of state. One seems to feel like we can drop everything and fly 1500 miles on a moments notice to watch her kids in their activities because “you went to all the other nieces and nephews activities”. Of course, what she doesn’t realize is that the other nieces and nephews lived in our town, so it was quite easy to go to their activities since they didn’t involve an expensive 3 hour flight.

The other one is somewhat regretting leaving I think. She and her hubby moved south. They had friends in a specific area so they went there. Also some cousins close by. Well, her hubby died a few years ago, she doesn’t seem to be as close to the friends that originally brought her down there and the cousins are moving north due to job changes. So I think she’s feeling a bit “alone” down there right now.

 

[mamamary]

Me and my DH are both from NY. Family was/is all there. His one brother and sis in law moved to MD many years ago. After visiting them often we saw how much better we liked it there than NY. So we moved. Another one of my DH's brother and his family moved here also. So we are all within 10 mts. of each other - not that we see each other a whole lot. My whole family is still in NY. It is approx a 2 1/2 hour drive with no traffic to my mom's house and my 3 siblings live not too far from her. We go to NY for all the holidays and family events. We even vacation together every year either in NY or close by. Before my dad died he and my mom would come and visit for a week every so often. When my kids were little I'd take them up to NY for a week here and there. My family hasn't been down here for at least 4 years. Its just easier for us to go up to NY than all of them come down. I've only ever had one holiday at my house because it's just easier having my mom's house be the one to go to for convenience. I wouldn't change moving away but I do miss just being together with my family more.

 

[Darcy03231]

We live about half an hour away from my parents and brother, about an hour away from my sister, DS#1, DD#2 and DS#2. We see all of them frequently. In fact, we just saw DD#2 and her fiancé and my mother yesterday. DD#1 moved quite a distance away and we see her once or twice year.

DH's parents are deceased, but prior to that they lived about 18-20 hours by car away from us. When they were younger they would visit us once or twice a year and we would visit them once a year. As they aged and travel became more difficult, we would visit once a year until DH retired and then he visited more frequently. His sister still lives in the same area that his parents did and we see her once or twice a year.

 

[DawnM]

My parents are West Coast, I am East Coast. DH's family is 12 hours North of us.

It is a little difficult because my dad is from the West Coast and my mom is from the East Coast, so there will never be a way to be near everyone. And DH is from the North (Mid-West). So, we kind of cover the entire country.

Right now I live about 3 hours from my mother's side of the family. I see them about 1-2 times per year.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

Do you live near family? If so, both sides or one?

If you moved to be near family, how did you decide which side to live close to?

If you live away from family like parents and siblings, how often do you visit?

There are too many options to attempt a poll but curious about others and where you live in relation to your parents, siblings, or kids -if grown and out of the house.

My parents are gone. DH's mom lives in the same midwest state as his sister and my oldest DD, but before SisIL and MIL moved there, they lived about 2 hours from us. DD#2 lives on the west coast now. My siblings are in one of two midwest states. We have no idea where my BroIL lives; last time we heard, he was in the state north of us (where the rest of DH's family lives) but several hours further north.

I am happy to not live near my/his family, with the exception of our girls. I don't see DD#1 moving anytime soon, but DD#2 married a Marine, so they will bounce around for a number of years, but want to settle in that west coast state they are in now. We aren't planning on moving for at least 5 years, so that DS can get through high school, but after that, we would like to move back to the southwest, with his current company. I hate the humidity here, and I can't do the cold anymore either.

 

[J'aime Paris]

We live about 30 min. from my parents and 50 min. from DH's parents. See them often.
I'm an only.
DH has 3 brothers. Two live less than an hour away, and we see them and our nephews/nieces often. One lives in CA, we see him once a year.
Our DD is in college about 30 min. away. We are able to see her all the time!

 

[Poohforyou]

Up until 2 years ago I hadn't lived closer than a few hundred miles from any of my family. I have 1 sibling on the opposite coast and another on a different continent.

My mom now lives about 20 minutes from us. I love that she's close especially now that she's in her late 80s. She's independent except for not driving.

There are times I really miss not having family close especially for the big events. Of course whenever the kids start getting married we'll be there but other stuff like graduations are just us.

I see my siblings usually at least once a year but not usually all together. We do plan a reunion every few years. We keep in touch regularly with Facebook, whatsapp, email etc.

I do have to say I don't miss having to deal with the petty nonsense that often comes from families living close by. We don't get in each other's business. We're there to support each other and would drop everything if needed.

 

[MIGrandma]

We live near all the immediate family. When DH and I got married we moved about 12 miles from my parents' house. At that time we lived half a mile from his parents and sisters. A couple years after we got married we bought the house his parents were living in and they built a smaller house right next door. When DH's Mom passed away in 2000 his Dad remarried a year later and now lives in a town about 10 miles away. Our DS lives about a 45-minute drive away, our DD lives a quarter mile down the road. DH's sisters both live within a half-mile of us. I love that we all live close to each other.

 

[neverlandsky]

For decades we lived close by. Relocated for work with an opportunity we just couldn't pass up. So we plan to go down every 18 months to visit, 1st 18 months is coming up soon. We're enjoying the big events with our kids 14 & 12 and it being "just us" before we're empty nesters in a few short years. We talked about relocating back close to family once the career track slows down.

 

[BLAZEY]

All of our family (DH's Nana, our parents, siblings and their families all live in the same city. My mum and sister(BIL & kids) live about 5 minutes away. The rest are about 20 minutes away. I see my mum and sister daily. I love it as we look after each other's kids and pets when away, or last minute when kids are sick or snow days and we still need to work.

 

[Marchand63]

We live 80% of the time closer to DH family, because of his work. My family is about an hour away when we are in Salem. We do my house frequently
then we are 20 minutes from my family.

2nd marriage 2 houses.

 

[design_mom]

My sister lives three doors down from me. (We lived here first. They moved in later.)
My parents live about 10 minutes from here. They used to live about 20 minutes away but they recently sold their home and moved into a condo that's closer to us.

My husband's parents live about 30 minutes away (same metro area, different suburb.)
My husband's sister lives about 20-25 minutes away (same suburb as his parents, but closer to us.)

I have two aunts and several cousins who live within 30ish minutes of me. All of DH's extended family lives in a different state. (His dad got transferred here when DH was a toddler.)

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My parents live about 15 minutes away. My sister lives about 5 minutes from them. My brother is about 20 minutes away. We all live in the same city and always have. My in-laws are both deceased, but they lived about 15 minutes away from us. DH's brother lives a few states away, so we don't see him and his wife very often. DH and I have discussed moving to another area since housing prices here are ridiculous. We could sell our house, buy three elsewhere, live in one and rent out the other two for income. But, as long as my parents are here, I will not leave. I have their only two grandchildren and will not take them away from my parents (or my sister and brother, for that matter). For now, we will stay here.

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

Left home at 20, 5,000 miles away. Saw parents twice a year (I went home once they visited once). That lasted a 5 years and moved back about 45 mins from my parents. DH’s parents live 20 mins away.

Even though I’d prefer living elsewhere I’m not leaving family. My initial rationale was I want to travel and don’t want “home” to be my vacation. That still holds true but the looming thought that one day our parents may need our help is a bigger part of why we stay.

 

[bjscheel]

15 minutes from my parents, 50 minutes from DH's parents. Like the above poster, I'm really happy that family gatherings are just a day event and we don't have to "vacation" to go home or even spend the night. DH's sister 6 hours away has to use vacation days to come home unless they want to drive down on a Saturday and drive back already on Sunday, which they don't. We ended up in this spot because DH moved near our area for a job and then I met him.

My siblings range from 20 minutes to 3 hours away. DH's siblings are 1-6 hours away.