Me, these two, and a heelan coo: Scotland June 2018

[Aulika]

I am enjoying reading your trip report and i like your honesty ...
I travelled to Scotland 4 year ago and loved it a lot.

 

[Jess_S]

I am enjoying reading your trip report and i like your honesty ...
I travelled to Scotland 4 year ago and loved it a lot.

In my mind, I categorize places we have traveled as either one and done or to be continued. Scotland is in the latter bucket. Someday, we would like to see the Hebrides and spend more time in Edinburgh.

 

[kristilew]

As one who has traveled extensively with a small child - and with a husband and grown child who occasionally act like small children - I’m finding your report both enjoyable and hysterically funny. OF COURSE the mom gets stuck getting up early with the kid, giving up her preferred activity, and caring if the kid is happy. Not that dads don’t try, but it seems, at least in my life, it’s usually the mom.

Over stimulation and unmet expectations (no matter how unrealistic or if we had anything to do with setting them) are recipes for a meltdown in any kid. It’s just part of travel, and learning to roll with it takes time and repeated travel. Which leads to a big kid who is a joy to travel with. Meanwhile, a mom knows she will be called on to sacrifice some of her time, energy, and emotional capital while in the midst of a great trip.

The thing I loved about ABDs was they drastically reduced the amount of “momming” I had to do. Someone else planned the itinerary, someone else brought the water and snacks and bug spray. Someone else presented a little gift that provided distraction. So I could deal with the meltdowns as they came up and get back to the regularly scheduled program of fun.

I’ll be interested to read your final verdict on group travel, but either way would encourage you to go again.

And funny story about meltdowns - on our Italy ABD, I was the one who had one after a particularly difficult morning (not ABD related, this was time on our own). My DD 17 at the time calmed me down using all the techniques I used to apply to her, including telling me “it’s ok to be upset sometimes,” offering to get me some juice, and talking about the fun thing we would do next. They learn!

 

[wanderlust7]

Are people not enjoying the report? My goal is an honest warts and all report. If I just seem like a grouch, then I am missing my mark.

Even as I was reading, I thought to myself I love your honesty! I think often these things can get glossed over, leaving me to think why aren't my kids so perfect?? Mine whine or have grouch face. But in the end, we all still have a great trip.

 

[Jess_S]

As one who has traveled extensively with a small child - and with a husband and grown child who occasionally act like small children - I’m finding your report both enjoyable and hysterically funny. OF COURSE the mom gets stuck getting up early with the kid, giving up her preferred activity, and caring if the kid is happy. Not that dads don’t try, but it seems, at least in my life, it’s usually the mom.

Over stimulation and unmet expectations (no matter how unrealistic or if we had anything to do with setting them) are recipes for a meltdown in any kid. It’s just part of travel, and learning to roll with it takes time and repeated travel. Which leads to a big kid who is a joy to travel with. Meanwhile, a mom knows she will be called on to sacrifice some of her time, energy, and emotional capital while in the midst of a great trip.

The thing I loved about ABDs was they drastically reduced the amount of “momming” I had to do. Someone else planned the itinerary, someone else brought the water and snacks and bug spray. Someone else presented a little gift that provided distraction. So I could deal with the meltdowns as they came up and get back to the regularly scheduled program of fun.

I’ll be interested to read your final verdict on group travel, but either way would encourage you to go again.

And funny story about meltdowns - on our Italy ABD, I was the one who had one after a particularly difficult morning (not ABD related, this was time on our own). My DD 17 at the time calmed me down using all the techniques I used to apply to her, including telling me “it’s ok to be upset sometimes,” offering to get me some juice, and talking about the fun thing we would do next. They learn!

I love your meltdown story. It gives me hope that all this working on talking about our feelings will pay off someday. It sounds like you raised a great kid.

I can also confirm that DH did not deal with any of the meltdowns or grumpiness on this trip -- except for at Loch Ness because he was trapped on a boat with DS. Gender parity in dealing with the unpleasant parts of parenthood can apparently only be accomplished by putting the dad in a situation where his only escape is a long, cold swim. (In fairness to DH, he does all the parenting while I am at work. But if we are both around, then I am usually the one drawing the short straw).

Even as I was reading, I thought to myself I love your honesty! I think often these things can get glossed over, leaving me to think why aren't my kids so perfect?? Mine whine or have grouch face. But in the end, we all still have a great trip.

Thank you. I always like being reminded that I am dealing with normal parenting issues (even when it doesn't make them less exasperating). Better to listen to whining while looking at medieval ruins than listen to whining while sitting on my couch at home, I say.

 

[BluesTraveler]

I do enjoy your candor. Kids are tough! The good news is they get so much easier. I have sometimes wondered if ABD sets its 'minimum age' too low on some of these trips, and I would be interested in your general thoughts on that. But please keep the trip report coming.

 

[BluesTraveler]

Your question does raise a question that I have been pondering since we took our trip, which is whether ABD really is a family travel company.

I have been thinking about this as well, in the sense of "family" meaning "traveling with children." It didn't occur to me until our Iceland trip. Based on those already signed up I feel pretty confident our Greece trip will be parents and grandparents with kids around the same ages as our kids. But because this is something that's important to us in this particular stage, it's something I'll confirm going forward.

 

[Calfan]

I have been thinking about this as well, in the sense of "family" meaning "traveling with children." It didn't occur to me until our Iceland trip. Based on those already signed up I feel pretty confident our Greece trip will be parents and grandparents with kids around the same ages as our kids. But because this is something that's important to us in this particular stage, it's something I'll confirm going forward.

This is definitely an interesting question. We have done three ABDs so far, and there were lots of kids on each, although I'm not sure there have been any children younger than age eight on the ABDs we've done. We leave for Backstage Magic next week, and I am very curious about our group size and makeup. We did the Austin Adventures Yellowstone Family trip last winter, and my kids (ages 13 and 15 at the time) were the only actual children in our group of 15. There was only one other actual family (the rest were couples and we had one solo traveler), but their kids were both over 21. We had a great time, but it does really seem to be hit or miss as to whether a family trip actually includes true families or groups with kids.

 

[RSM]

Very much enjoying your trip report, please keep writing. Agree it does get easier as they get older and more mature. What would cause our son to sulk at age 7, would not be a problem at age 10. That being said, it's not perfect. As they get into their teen years, we've found that there are still some challenges its just that they are different than when he was younger, albeit not as frequent. Having done different group travel for 8 years now, at the end of the day, we tend to remember the really fun experiences and how we felt on the trip.

 

[Jess_S]

I have been thinking about this as well, in the sense of "family" meaning "traveling with children." It didn't occur to me until our Iceland trip. Based on those already signed up I feel pretty confident our Greece trip will be parents and grandparents with kids around the same ages as our kids. But because this is something that's important to us in this particular stage, it's something I'll confirm going forward.

This is definitely an interesting question. We have done three ABDs so far, and there were lots of kids on each, although I'm not sure there have been any children younger than age eight on the ABDs we've done. We leave for Backstage Magic next week, and I am very curious about our group size and makeup. We did the Austin Adventures Yellowstone Family trip last winter, and my kids (ages 13 and 15 at the time) were the only actual children in our group of 15. There was only one other actual family (the rest were couples and we had one solo traveler), but their kids were both over 21. We had a great time, but it does really seem to be hit or miss as to whether a family trip actually includes true families or groups with kids.

I feel like ABD's pricing structure could deter families with like-aged children from grouping themselves together. If I am looking at a choice of 4 trips and one is $1000 cheaper because it is less full, I might choose that trip without inquiring into group makeup. Of course, that's rampant speculation on my part. Since we've never done another group travel experience, I don't really know if it is common for "family" travel groups to be 50% or more adults traveling without minor children. I also have been wondering about the feasibility of "families with kids only" departures on ABD trips, the way that they do adult-only departures.

 

[WishUponAStarryNight]

I also have been wondering about the feasibility of "families with kids only" departures on ABD trips, the way that they do adult-only departures.

Thomson Family Adventures is a "families with kids" group travel company. Some trips are structured for "everyone," others are designed for teens or millennials. It seems that ABD could do something similar if it wanted to.

 

[RSM]

I also have been wondering about the feasibility of "families with kids only" departures on ABD trips, the way that they do adult-only departures.

It is an interesting point. It looks like the "Family Adventure Travel" market is beginning to segment even more. For example, as part of Backroads Family Travel offerings they now have several trips that are designed for families with older teens and early 20's. These tend to be a bit more physically active. Those with children in single digits, tweens, or younger teens have other family style trips they can take. Perhaps it can work the other way, with some group travel trips designed for families with children 10 and under (or something like that).

 

[CaliforniaGirl09]

ABD advertises itself as a family travel company. My expectation is that it is okay to take children on a trip that is advertised as such. Your question does raise a question that I have been pondering since we took our trip, which is whether ABD really is a family travel company. We were told by others in our group who had been on other ABD trips that they had never seen so many junior adventurers as they did on this trip and that groups with just one or two people under 18 were a regular occurrence. To me, that is contrary to what I would expect based upon the "Let's Adventure Together" slogan that ABD uses.

I have enjoyed your report, but I, too, was reading it thinking that your son's enjoyment (and thus the family's enjoyment) was impacted because he was too young for the trip. Having been on the Scotland trip before (the original itinerary), I think it is definitely geared toward older kids/teens as are many (most?) of ABD's trips.

But to your point, when I went back to check the age requirement for this trip it says at least 4 but recommends 6 and above. IMO, even 6 is too young for all but the extremely rare child. I thought ABD used to say minimum 6 and recommended for 8 and above, but I can't find any or my older itineraries (i.e. from Ireland in 2007). I can definitely see how the marketing is misleading, and I personally would like to see them use stronger language and adjust the ages up. But I think they get a lot of pressure from people who are dying to bring their your kids on a "Disney" trip. In our 7 ABDs, we've had a lot of junior adventurers, but we've only had two kids in the 6-7 range. Both had issues, and I think would have had much more fun doing something less intensive.

I have been thinking about this as well, in the sense of "family" meaning "traveling with children." It didn't occur to me until our Iceland trip. Based on those already signed up I feel pretty confident our Greece trip will be parents and grandparents with kids around the same ages as our kids. But because this is something that's important to us in this particular stage, it's something I'll confirm going forward.

I think the mix depends on the time of year, too. We did Greece in summer and had a ton of junior adventurers, but most of them were in the tween/teen category. We haven't had a lot of grandparents on our trips because I think--like very young kids--the trips we've done have been a little too intense for older folks. The only one we had grandparents on that I can remember was the ABD Baltic add-on, which was a totally different beast. Our trip in the shoulder season/early summer didn't have as many kids as our other trips.

This is definitely an interesting question. We have done three ABDs so far, and there were lots of kids on each, although I'm not sure there have been any children younger than age eight on the ABDs we've done. We leave for Backstage Magic next week, and I am very curious about our group size and makeup. We did the Austin Adventures Yellowstone Family trip last winter, and my kids (ages 13 and 15 at the time) were the only actual children in our group of 15. There was only one other actual family (the rest were couples and we had one solo traveler), but their kids were both over 21. We had a great time, but it does really seem to be hit or miss as to whether a family trip actually includes true families or groups with kids.

Funny that you said 8 because I think that's my number/age, too, where I think kids are best in a position to succeed on a trip like ABD. And this is coming from someone who has traveled extensively with her kids from the time they were born. My son had ten+ round-trip flights under his belt in his first year of birth I think my kids were almost 8 and 10 on our first ABD.

I've done Backstage Magic, and we had one young kid (6?) on the trip who as too young. I think BSM is best for kids 10-12+. Contrary to what people think a large part of the trip is *not* going on rides at DL and GC! There is a lot of behind the scenes, studio stuff that probably won't interest young kids. One of the younger kids was so anxious to get to DL and do rides by time we finally got to the park, the family ended up taking off and not doing some of the activities. I felt really bad for the kid. It was like we were holding out a cupcake and telling them they couldn't eat it, LOL.

 

[Jess_S]

ABD Day 6: Part 1 Culloden

In many ways, Day 6 is the reason that I booked our trip to Scotland through ABD. When I was researching what I wanted to see and do in Scotland, I found that ABD included literally every single thing I was interested in seeing -- including a visit to see some special animal friends. But animal friends were to come later. Our morning adventure was to Culloden.

By now, I think most of you can guess how our day started. Once again, I woke up before our alarm. I drank some instant coffee, I turned on my disco light to read for a bit, and eventually DS woke up. We went down to breakfast, which once again consisted of various breakfast foods. By this time, I was starting to get rich fooded out, so I ate a bowl of oatmeal and some prunes. I kind of felt like I was wasting a perfectly good breakfast buffet by doing so, but my tummy was happy. DS had a muffin and some more dried apricots spread with jam. I am always trying to coerce him into trying new foods, so he attempted to do the same for me. I undercut years of parental effort to diversify DS's tastes by flatly refusing to try a strawberry jam covered piece of dried fruit. Eventually, DH woke up. If I recall correctly, he was running so late that he didn't even have time for his 5 minute breakfast before we boarded the bus.

Once everyone was on the bus, we were off to Culloden moor -- the location of the final confrontation between British and Jacobite forces. I understand it also has something to do with Outlander. (When our guide asked whether there were any Outlander fans in our group, DH was the only one to raise his hand. I was kind of surprised that he had been reading historical romances. Turns out that he thought the guide had said "Highlander," as in the cheesy 90's TV series about an immortal guy with a long, fabulous mullet. Or maybe he was just saving face after I called him out by claiming he was thinking of Highlander).

Anyway, it was an absolutely perfect day for visiting Culloden. It was cool and cloudy, but not raining. I think it created the perfect atmosphere for imagining the battle (without actually having to stand in mud up to our waists like the Jacobites did). Our guide at the battlefield was Ian of Family-Friendly Storytelling fame.



He walked us around the battlefield explaining the events leading up to the battle, the battle itself, and its consequences. Having someone show us exactly where people were standing, the direction they charged and the manner in which they fought (using other people's children to mark the necessary spots) was great. If you come to Culloden on your own, you do get a headset that provides narration, but I don't know how you would figure out what is what because you are basically just looking at a large field.

Here are some more photos. I thought that Culloden was a hauntingly-lovely place. DS was mostly interested in where he could "stand on dead people" and whether we would buy him a sword at the gift shop after the tour.





After our tour of the battlefield, there was time on our own to explore the visitor's center. There are lots of artifacts that have been excavated from the battlefield, as well as some interactive displays. DS really liked the panoramic movie that reenacted the battle. Parents should be warned that it is a bit gory, but DH plays violent video games in front of DS all the time, so I figured historical violence couldn't possibly do more harm.

After exploring the visitor's center, we bought DS a small wooden sword at the gift shop and then went to the cafe for a cup of coffee. Ian was holding court there answering questions from the group while he drank a pot of tea and Michael was nice enough to offer us his seat so that we could hear what was going on. Meanwhile, DS noticed that the 10-year-old twins in our group were having a sword fight in the corner and he went over to ask if he could play. The girls were wonderful sports, letting him join the battle and going along with his claim that he was invincible and therefore could not be defeated.

DS had such a good time, that he clung to them like barnacles and wound up sitting next to one of them on the bus. (She made a hasty escape when we stopped at the hotel to drop of Ian and I tried my best to tactfully explain to DS that the girls were done playing with him).

After Culloden, we had lunch at the Mustard Seed restaurant, which sits in a lovely location on the River Ness. For lunch, I had carrot soup followed by gnocchi with a tomato and berlotti bean sauce. (The other veg option was also pasta, but with a vegetable based sauce). DH had some sort of fish and DS had piece of cheesy garlic bread followed by a cheese sandwich. (I was not thinking things through when I ordered and he only ate the first cheese and bread item). I was not impressed with the food at the Mustard Seed. My pasta dish was really bland. The only flavor I got from the sauce was sugar. Those around me also said that their food was bland. I am not sure if the restaurant was having an off day, or if the menu for ABD just doesn't include their best items. Either way, the group consensus seemed to be that this meal was a disappointment.

On the ABD itinerary, lunch is followed by a bike ride along the Caledonian Canal. Since DS does not know how to ride a bike, we decided to set off on our own (after informing the guides, of course). That is where our next installment picks up.

 

[Woodview]

Did you ask the waiter / waitress or Head waiter for a different meal ( within the price range of the set meal ) ?


Did you ask for potatoes & veg ?

Any Hotel will have a kitchen that will make up a meal for you if asked .

I know because I do not eat Fish or Chicken I am a Meat person .... beef or pork .

In the many hotels & restaurants all over Europe that I have stayed in over the last 35 years I have

never failed to have a meal served to me.

 

[Jess_S]

Did you ask the waiter / waitress or Head waiter for a different meal ( within the price range of the set meal ) ?


Did you ask for potatoes & veg ?

Any Hotel will have a kitchen that will make up a meal for you if asked .

I know because I do not eat Fish or Chicken I am a Meat person .... beef or pork .

In the many hotels & restaurants all over Europe that I have stayed in over the last 35 years I have

never failed to have a meal served to me.

Are you saying you have gone on a group tour and required that they provide you with special meals?

 

[Woodview]

Yes .... provided I found that what was on the menu , within reason , was not for me.

All you have to do is ask ... no big deal

 

[lpm23]

I have enjoyed your report, but I, too, was reading it thinking that your son's enjoyment (and thus the family's enjoyment) was impacted because he was too young for the trip. Having been on the Scotland trip before (the original itinerary), I think it is definitely geared toward older kids/teens as are many (most?) of ABD's trips.

But to your point, when I went back to check the age requirement for this trip it says at least 4 but recommends 6 and above. IMO, even 6 is too young for all but the extremely rare child. I thought ABD used to say minimum 6 and recommended for 8 and above, but I can't find any or my older itineraries (i.e. from Ireland in 2007). I can definitely see how the marketing is misleading, and I personally would like to see them use stronger language and adjust the ages up. But I think they get a lot of pressure from people who are dying to bring their your kids on a "Disney" trip. In our 7 ABDs, we've had a lot of junior adventurers, but we've only had two kids in the 6-7 range. Both had issues, and I think would have had much more fun doing something less intensive.



I think the mix depends on the time of year, too. We did Greece in summer and had a ton of junior adventurers, but most of them were in the tween/teen category. We haven't had a lot of grandparents on our trips because I think--like very young kids--the trips we've done have been a little too intense for older folks. The only one we had grandparents on that I can remember was the ABD Baltic add-on, which was a totally different beast. Our trip in the shoulder season/early summer didn't have as many kids as our other trips.



Funny that you said 8 because I think that's my number/age, too, where I think kids are best in a position to succeed on a trip like ABD. And this is coming from someone who has traveled extensively with her kids from the time they were born. My son had ten+ round-trip flights under his belt in his first year of birth I think my kids were almost 8 and 10 on our first ABD.

I've done Backstage Magic, and we had one young kid (6?) on the trip who as too young. I think BSM is best for kids 10-12+. Contrary to what people think a large part of the trip is *not* going on rides at DL and GC! There is a lot of behind the scenes, studio stuff that probably won't interest young kids. One of the younger kids was so anxious to get to DL and do rides by time we finally got to the park, the family ended up taking off and not doing some of the activities. I felt really bad for the kid. It was like we were holding out a cupcake and telling them they couldn't eat it, LOL.

I think it depends on the ABD and also depends on your kids. My kids who are now 6 and 8 have done 3 ABDs- NYC, Wyoming and the Rhine. We have had a great time on all of the trips. A coufindple things that I have done that I think have helped is I have always called in advance and ensured I booked a trip with other junior adventurers. My kids have still been the youngest or one of the youngest but we have always had other kids of relatively similar age. I honestly don't think I would book one where there are not other young kids. This has sometimes meant switching our dates a bit or considering different options but for me it's been worth it.

The other thing I have done is not tried to go to every single activity. If there are certain activities that I know they really won't like or too late at night my husband and I will choose who goes and one of us will stay with the kids. This has worked pretty well because at the end of the day I would rather do a few less activities and have well rested happy kids than to drag them to everything.

The other thing we do is when there is down time or oyo time we try to find things that let them be kids. We travel with a small soccer ball and can always find a park etc. to burn off some energy.

 

[sayhello]

Are people not enjoying the report? My goal is an honest warts and all report. If I just seem like a grouch, then I am missing my mark.

To answer your questions:

ABD advertises itself as a family travel company. My expectation is that it is okay to take children on a trip that is advertised as such. Your question does raise a question that I have been pondering since we took our trip, which is whether ABD really is a family travel company. We were told by others in our group who had been on other ABD trips that they had never seen so many junior adventurers as they did on this trip and that groups with just one or two people under 18 were a regular occurrence. To me, that is contrary to what I would expect based upon the "Let's Adventure Together" slogan that ABD uses.

The only activity that I did not get to do that I wanted to do was the canoeing and that was because we did not sign up for it. As I mentioned, I regret that. I was accommodating my husband's irrational fear of canoes when I should have just told him to get over it.

As to whether other people were affected by my son, I can only go by what the rest of the group told us. We had more than 1 person tell us that they were very impressed with how well-behaved and pleasant my son was. I suppose it is possible that the group secretly felt that my son was a terrible disruption -- but I don't see why people would go through the trouble of seeking us out to complement us if that was the case. I think it is more likely that they were holding him to the standard of a 5 year old based upon their own experience as parents and found that DS came out ahead.

I did revise the description of the Loch Ness lunch because I understand after re-reading it why you interpreted my recounting as though my son were being noisy. He was actually sulking and I did not get to listen to the speaker because I was trying to cheer him up. I can't imagine that anyone else in the group besides me cared that my son wasn't enjoying himself -- but I suppose I could be wrong.

I am saving my wrap up (including whether we would travel with ABD again) for the end.

Oh, geez. I hope this is not going to come out wrong.

It's not that I'm "not enjoying" your report. It's just that it's pretty depressing to read, because, based on what you wrote, it sounds like none of you, in particular your son, are having a good time. The vast majority of what I'm reading seems negative and critical (especially of your son, and a bit of your DH) and only 10% sounds like a good trip. I totally agree that the way to get yourself a kid who is a good traveler is to start them traveling early, but you need to start them with a trip that's appropriate for the kid's maturity and attention span. And the Scotland ABD just doesn't seem to have been that trip for you. You blame ABD for not making the trip family friendly, but the truth is, ABD's are not a one-size-fits-all vacation where all itineraries will cater to everyone from a 5 year old to a 95 year old. Some trips may fit that, but Scotland is definitely NOT one of them. ABD has a lot of different itineraries that fit a lot of different people and a lot of different styles of travel. You can't just assume it will all magically fit because of the Disney name or a slogan. "Family" has a lot of different definitions, not just a Mom, a Dad and a 5-year-old kid. ABD *may* not be perfect for your family, but that does not make them not a family travel company. They're maybe just not *your* family's travel company, at least at this stage of your family.

The other thing is, if your son really is a good traveler, it feels to me like you're doing him a huge disservice with your trip report, because it makes him sound whiny and bratty and disruptive. Your report focuses on his behavior, not on the trip. And it just doesn't present his behavior in a very nice light. This is obviously all my opinion, based on my reading of your report. I may have it totally wrong, but I can only go by what I'm reading.

Sayhello

 

[Jess_S]

Oh, geez. I hope this is not going to come out wrong.

It's not that I'm "not enjoying" your report. It's just that it's pretty depressing to read, because, based on what you wrote, it sounds like none of you, in particular your son, are having a good time. The vast majority of what I'm reading seems negative and critical (especially of your son, and a bit of your DH) and only 10% sounds like a good trip. I totally agree that the way to get yourself a kid who is a good traveler is to start them traveling early, but you need to start them with a trip that's appropriate for the kid's maturity and attention span. And the Scotland ABD just doesn't seem to have been that trip for you. You blame ABD for not making the trip family friendly, but the truth is, ABD's are not a one-size-fits-all vacation where all itineraries will cater to everyone from a 5 year old to a 95 year old. Some trips may fit that, but Scotland is definitely NOT one of them. ABD has a lot of different itineraries that fit a lot of different people and a lot of different styles of travel. You can't just assume it will all magically fit because of the Disney name or a slogan. "Family" has a lot of different definitions, not just a Mom, a Dad and a 5-year-old kid. ABD *may* not be perfect for your family, but that does not make them not a family travel company. They're maybe just not *your* family's travel company, at least at this stage of your family.

The other thing is, if your son really is a good traveler, it feels to me like you're doing him a huge disservice with your trip report, because it makes him sound whiny and bratty and disruptive. Your report focuses on his behavior, not on the trip. And it just doesn't present his behavior in a very nice light. This is obviously all my opinion, based on my reading of your report. I may have it totally wrong, but I can only go by what I'm reading.

Sayhello

Do you have children?

ETA: I ask because you seem to have no idea what the normal challenges of parenting are or how a normal 5 year old child behaves. There are tantrums and meltdowns sometimes -- not because my son is brat, but because he is 5.

Fortunately, we were travelling with a group of people that were parents, even if their children were grown and they were willing to engage with DS on his terms and complement DH and I on the work we did to keep him happy and engaged.

I am going to stop with the suspense on our final opinion on ABD because I don't want to come back to do another update and have to read another post misinterpreting what I have written. I will start with flatly refuting the premise of both of your posts. You seem to think that we did not enjoy any of the activities on this trip. That is not true.

Now, let's move on to the question of whether we would book another ABD. We left the trip thinking that we would book another ABD, but that it would have to be the right trip. As I mentioned, we were unhappy with the food options for vegetarians, so I would not book a trip where I expected food to be an attraction. For example, Italy is off the table. The itinerary would also need to track what we wanted to do in a specific area very closely as the Scotland ABD did.

As to the question of whether ABD is a good travel option for a younger child, at the conclusion of our trip, I would have said yes. I think that others in this thread have already given a good summary of the benefits you get from travelling with a group in terms of having to handle less of the "mom" stuff and having someone handle all of the travel logistics eliminates that source of stress. The one thing that was missing from the trip though was other children. That is why it is not clear to me whether ABD is really a family travel company. Not because the itinerary is not kid friendly, but because people do not seem to actually bring young children on these trips. Having a playmate for DS would have been worth 100% of the premium that you pay to travel with ABD, even if there were no other benefits. FYI, DS's personal opinion on ABD is that it is "a good way to travel because there are kids and sometimes they play with you." He said he wants to only do ABD vacations from now on.

The only thing that gives me pause about recommending ABD as a travel option for young children is some of the negative responses that I have gotten to this trip review. Based upon the group that we traveled with, I would have said that ABD attracts travelers who enjoy being around children. But I now get the sense that we might have just gotten lucky with our group. That other guests might judge or resent us for bringing a child on a family trip is something I had not considered before.

Now on to a question that I did not intend to answer in this trip report, but apparently have to. Did DS ruin the trip for DH and I? No. Travelling with a child is more difficult and less relaxing than travelling on your own whether you go with a group or on your own. That does not mean that you should not go or that the trip is not worthwhile. The only day where our enjoyment was impacted by DS was at Loch Ness because he moped the whole day. That was hard for me to watch because he had been so looking forward to trying to find the Loch Ness monster and I knew he was wasting his chance. But even with all his moping, he told me that he loved going to the home of the Loch Ness Monster.

The thing that actually did negatively impact my trip was the chronic exhaustion and dizziness that I dealt with throughout the trip. I had thought that maybe the pacing was a bit too much for me. But upon returning home, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that apparently accounted for all of my symptoms. I think that my concerns about pacing need to be considered in light of that fact. DH has not given me a straight answer on whether he enjoyed the group tour aspect of the trip, so I do not know how he felt about the pacing. DH did say that Scotland was one of his favorite vacations yet, though.

Since you asked, there is no correct way to tell someone that you think their child sounds like a brat and that they sound like a grump. So, yes, both your posts came out wrong. In fact, they both made me cry and I am currently typing through tears.

I spent a long time considering whether I should take this trip report down since some people apparently think it reflects poorly on my family. However, the comments from other parents who read my posts in the spirit they were intended have convinced me to complete the report in case it might be of help to others (or give them a laugh).

If you are a parent wondering whether you should travel with your children either independently or on a group tour, I would really encourage you to go.