Meeting the parents of DD's boyfriend tomorrow

[momz]

We have intended to have the parents of DD's boyfriend over ever since COVID started. We are finally going to host them tomorrow. We are having charcuterie trays and another tray with fruit. Maybe some drinks depending on how it goes, not sure if they are drinkers. I'm told they enjoy playing games, so we will have a family game night.

Anyway, I'm a little nervous. I want it to go well.

What has been your experience with meeting the parent's of your child's significant other? Has it been a good experience, or has it been rocky. Do you have conflicts with them?

I am under the impression that there is some drama between these people and the parents of his sibling's girlfriend...

I don't want drama

 

[Farro]

Good luck! It sounds like you have an enjoyable evening planned.

I'm so lucky, my parents were never interested in meeting his parents. We never married so never came up.

 

[AnnaS]

I would feel the same. Sometimes we are nervous and worry for nothing. But I know the feeling. I think the first time we met our kid's "future" in law's was at a restaurant. I need to really think about each one (3 of them) - it has been a number of years since we met for the very first time.

Just be yourself - I always say to any "company" - I am not Martha Stewart (it's okay if you are), what you see, is what you get - enjoy the evening. Come back and tells us how it went

 

[kymom99]

Good luck!

 

[Southernmiss]

We met our sons future inlaws over lunch at a casual dining place.

Went fine. We are of the same religion, about the same age, and from the same geographic area. And Dh and I are pretty easy going people.

All went well and we had a great rehearsal dinner and wedding and reception for them 3 years ago.

We've seen each other a couple of times since the wedding. They live an hour away. We are friendly on Facebook and occassionally text when we have a need to

 

[mjkacmom]

I’ve only met dd19’s ex boyfriend’s parents once after 2 years at my dad’s wake, where I met dd24’s boyfriend of 2 year’s dad, and dd17’s ex boyfriend’s mom there too (dating just a year). Ds22 dated his last girlfriend 2 years and I’ve never met her parents. DH and I dated 5 years before getting married, we went to school together since we were 12, our families lived 1/2 mile from each other and went to the same church, so knew if each other, they finally officially met after we got engaged, 6 months before the wedding (we went out for dinner).

Dd24 is actually living with her boyfriend’s mom since March, dating over 3 years, 30 minutes away, never met but have texted a couple of times. DH met dd19’s current boyfriend’s parent when he was at her college and they were there, but they’ve only been dating since September.

I think your meeting sounds very nice.

 

[RamblingMad]

Interesting.

Must be super serious. When is the baby coming?

 

[VandVsmama]

My parents met my in-laws at our wedding rehearsal. How old are your DD and her boyfriend?

 

[disykat]

We met our son's in laws the week before the wedding since they were coming from another country. For us, the language barrier was the hardest thing! They seem very nice, but we haven't gotten to know each other. I would have worried regardless, but now the fact that they speak the same language seems like a big plus in your favor!

Our younger son is dating someone whose parents we have already met so we won't have to have an introduction.

 

[ronandannette]

I would feel the same. Sometimes we are nervous and worry for nothing. But I know the feeling. I think the first time we met our kid's "future" in law's was at a restaurant. I need to really think about each one (3 of them) - it has been a number of years since we met for the very first time.

Just be yourself - I always say to any "company" - I am not Martha Stewart (it's okay if you are), what you see, is what you get - enjoy the evening. Come back and tells us how it went

You actually say this out loud to people you're just meeting for the first time? I'm not sure how I'd react (or what reaction would be expected) if a hostess said that.

 

[focusondisney]

My DD’s ex in-laws invited us for dinner after the kids were engaged. Said it was ”proper”for the groom’s parents to initiate the meeting. Whatever. They were friendly & invited us to a few gatherings at their home after the wedding. Unfortunately, the ex was an alcoholic & verbally abusive, so DD got out quick.

We met DS’s in-laws after the kids were dating for awhile & were moving in together. That was very brief, just a quick introduction . Saw them again at the inspection after the kids put an offer in on a house. Got to know them much better with wedding prep & at get togethers at the kids. They are wonderful people & I couldn’t be happier that my DS has them for his family. Very kind, caring & fun to be around. The only slight issue is, we back opposing political parties. The only reason I know is because DDIL told me, we don’t talk politics with them at all. Funny enough, DDIL backs the same party as we do & her parents views drive her crazy.

 

[Lumpy1106]

I have no experience here, but if you like DD's boyfriend, you will already have something in common. Relax - it will be fun.

 

[kyton]

I love reading posts like these as they are so different to my experience here in Australia. I had 2 boyfriends during high school and my parents met one set of parents quite a few times but only to say hi and bye. The second boyfriend was in the same year at school so my parents spent time with those parents quite a bit - we both turned 18 which here in Australia is quite a big event So there were parties as well as end of school celebrations.

My now husband and I started dating when we were about to turn 19 - we didn’t marry until we were 33 - so our parents got to know each other’s very well, especially because we both come from very close families which meant lots of family celebrations that they were both invited to.

My 15yo daughter has started “dating“ this year and the two boys she has been out with we have met all their parents so far.

 

[low-key]

Oh I hate this kind of self imposed pressure we put on ourselfs. If its going rerally bad, just go with it and act completely nutso

 

[robinb]

I’ve met my DD’s boyfriend’s parents a number of times. They are very nice people and I am comfortable when my DD stays with them. I know that they will take care of her.

Just be yourself.

 

[EMom]

My parents met my in-laws at our wedding rehearsal. How old are your DD and her boyfriend?

Same here. And they never saw each other again, due to the 4 hour distance between their homes.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Met ds 2 fil at the bridal shower. Met the mil at the wedding. The mil has issues. Even my ds and dil don't bother with her much. I liked the fil. Sadly he passed away 2 months after the wedding.

Met ds1 future in laws at a restaurant in dec. They are nice. She even came to visit me in the ICU. Just had the bridal shower. I was upset that it was not very socially distanced at the restaurant and masks were not emphasized. She kept talking about grandkids to them already gheesh. They have all their family "traditions" so I don't expect to see ds 1 much.

 

[RamblingMad]

Oh I hate this kind of self imposed pressure we put on ourselfs. If its going rerally bad, just go with it and act completely nutso

So many people I meet today start rambling on about crazy conspiracy theories. The latest one that I'm hearing is the Wayfair conspiracy theory. Completely nuts.

As long as the OP or the parents don't start talking about this crazy nonsense, everything should be fine.

 

[disykat]

I love reading posts like these as they are so different to my experience here in Australia. I had 2 boyfriends during high school and my parents met one set of parents quite a few times but only to say hi and bye. The second boyfriend was in the same year at school so my parents spent time with those parents quite a bit - we both turned 18 which here in Australia is quite a big event So there were parties as well as end of school celebrations.

My now husband and I started dating when we were about to turn 19 - we didn’t marry until we were 33 - so our parents got to know each other’s very well, especially because we both come from very close families which meant lots of family celebrations that they were both invited to.

My 15yo daughter has started “dating“ this year and the two boys she has been out with we have met all their parents so far.

I isn't think this is a cultural thing, just geography. (Unless Australian's marry young culturally?) People here meet young children's parents too. I certainly did when my kids were young. At that point, they are all in the same city because the kids live with their parents. If your adult kids live far from you, meet their partner there, and then their partner's parents live elsewhere, that's just geographical reality.

 

[PollyannaMom]

DS hasn’t been so serious about anyone yet that we’ve really gotten to the “hanging out with her parents” stage. (DH did meet his last girlfriend’s mom and grandma briefly because of carpooling back up to school, but that was it.)

Just keep in mind that they’re probably as nervous as you. If you concentrate on putting them at ease, you’ll be distracted from your own nerves and be fine.