1. Big Cities are bad places to live:
DH's family moved from where we live now, to another state, where DH and I met. They still live there, but we have since moved to within 25 miles of where DH came from. It's a big city, and where they lived 25 years ago is overrun with gangs and other "urban" ways of life. The family has relatives that still are involved in *some* of that. (cousins and 2nd cousins, etc, not close family).
However, DH's family really only knows one side of this metropolitan area, so we constantly have to remind them that this is a big state and not everything is the same everywhere. We live in a beautiful village about 20 miles west of the city, where the majority of the population is ethnically-diverse professional middle to upper-middle class. We make more money than we ever have before (not that it's so much to brag about! LOL). However cost of living here is really high, so while we are looked down on for our modest 4 bedroom, 2 bath 1400 sq foot house on a postage stamp size lot, it cost the same as my BIL's sprawling 3000 foot house where they and their 2 kids each have their own 'TV Rooms" and bathrooms.
The misconception is that we live in a bad, unsafe area, when in reality, we moved here because the schools are top 10 in the state, there hasn't been a crime more serious than a car break-in in over 20 years, and my kids can walk around the neighborhood as freely as they could when we lived in the country. As a matter of fact, when we lived in a rural town before moving here, a house down the street was raided becuase the teenager living there has a whole meth lab in his basement, and in another incident, a little 4 year old boy was beaten to death over a 3 day period for wetting his pants, and the mother just stood by and let it happen because she was on probation for drugs and had drugs in the apartment! So it just goes to show that crazies are everywhere, and just because you live near a big city doesn't mean that you (or your kids) are destined to become gang thugs.
2. Teenagers are scary
Not if you know the right ones! I love being around my teen and his friends.
3. Work vs. Stay at Home
I've done both, plus I've brought my kids to work with me, and worked from home. So, I've pretty much done it all. My best compromise is working at home. I'm still around, but still making money.
But the biggest misconception in all that drama is that it is just as hard being a SAHM as it is to be a working mom. As a person who has the above credentials, let me tell you: Staying at home and taking care of the kids was the easiest by far. I wish I was still doing it. It really wasn't "hard", and I was able to get everything done, dinner cooked, kids taken care of, and still have a little time to do what I want. My days were full and busy, especially when my kids were 5 1/2, 19 months, and newborn. But I was busy with the stuff I *wanted* to do, and my house was always clean and the kids always had their homework done. I'm by no means belittling or putting down either choice in any way shape or form - I wish I still was a SAHM with all my might, but I also like knowing I can pay my electric bill! But, not one of my "home" responsibilities changed when I started working, plus now I have to worry about performance reviews and hitting a monthly number goal and my busines accounts and a whole bunch of cr** I really don't care about. I just want to be a mom and worry about/be with my kids! SAHM=Best. Job. I've. Ever. Had.
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