Mother’s Day project at church

[Wendy31]

She’s not researching a Master’s thesis; just trying to make a touching little tribute video for Mother’s Day at church. None of this is on-point for that.

Absolutely!!

Keep it light & sweetly touching, cute, & gently funny - a tribute to mothers of all ages & in all stages.

It’s Mother’s Day, &, while, yes, it’s a hard day for many, I don’t think anyone really wants to be brought down (or brought down even lower if you’re already down) by watching a video that’s heavy, depressing, too analytical, or too much of a social commentary.

As a side-note, Mother’s Day is complicated for me, so I get it. My relationship w/ my own mother is very complex & often makes me sad & wistful - so, most years, even though I’m a mother myself, I don’t much look forward to the holiday. Additionally, for a brief moment, my husband & I struggled to conceive. (I say “brief” because our 2 years of trying to get pregnant were nothing like what some women experience.) And there were a few tough Mother’s Day services for me at church. Our church recognized all women & girls, but, still, it felt inauthentic - because, even though it’s nice the church is recognizing all the women & girls on Mother’s Day, it doesn’t take away the longing or the feelings of sorrow/inadequacy/bitterness/whatever, & it’s not like you don’t realize, “They’re giving me a flower because they don’t want anyone to feel left out not because I’m an actual mother.”

After all, it’s called Mother’s Day, not Women & Girls Day.

[EDITED TO ADD - And I’m NOT saying that all women & girls shouldn’t be recognized on Mother’s Day & it isn’t a very nice idea to do that… I’m just saying, women KNOW.]

So, all that said, I think it’s fine to honor mothers on Mother’s Day w/ special things like tribute videos.

Mothering is not easy & should be recognized. Honoring the mothers for the roles they play & have played throughout our lives is a lovely thing!

Additionally, while some people don’t have/didn’t have good moms in their lives, that doesn’t mean we just totally ignore the concepts of being a good mother, all the many varied elements of mothering, & the differences mothers have made in our lives - and the honor these ideals should bring.

And, yes, people come to mothering through all different ways & absolutely should be recognized & honored. But please don’t include “pet moms” - taking care of a dog or a cat is so totally different than actually taking care of & raising a child. And, I recognize that will probably be offensive to some, but having someone w/ a dog claim “I’m a mom too!” is offensive as well to many women who are mothers of actual humans. (And I say that as a pet owner & a parent - the 2 are not the same.)

Of course, be sensitive & kind & inclusive, but, in doing so, don’t take away the tribute & honor of being a mother, if that makes sense.

So, all that said, some ideas for your video -

* Maybe have some children of different ages in very quick sound bites answering cute questions like “What is your favorite meal that your mom makes?” “What does your mom tell you all the time?” “What is your favorite thing about your mom?” “What is your mom’s favorite thing about you?” “If your mom could go anywhere for a vacation, where would she go?”

* And, for the older children - “How has your mom influenced you & helped shape your life?” “What’s the best piece of advice your mom has given you?” “What have your mother’s prayers for you meant to you?”

* Along the same lines as above, maybe have some husbands of moms in very quick sound bites answering questions about their wives - “Why are you proud of your wife?” “What is your wife’s best quality as a mother?” “What all does your wife do for your family?” “Why are your kids blessed to have your wife as their mother?” “How do the two of you make your parenting team work?” “In 3 words, describe motherhood.”

I mean, it’s the time for the kids & their dads to “rise up & call her blessed” after all, right? ;-)

And then also include all the different mothers in the video as you had planned -

“When you 1st found out you were going to be a mother, how did you feel?”

“Now that you’ve been a mother for _________ years, looking back what would you tell yourself when you 1st became a mother?”

“What kind of advice would you give new moms today?”

“How have other moms helped you on your own journey as a mother?”

“Has has being a mother made you appreciate your own mother more?”

“What are a few ‘must-haves’ as a mom of babies, toddlers, preschool children, elementary children, middle school children, high school children, college-aged children, adult children…”

“As a mom, what roles do you serve in your family?”

“What’s the best thing about being a mom?”

“How do your children make you proud?”

“What’s been a proud moment for you as a mom? What’s been a humbling experience for you as a mom?”

“What’s been the funniest or craziest thing that has happened to you as a mother?”

“What’s something you never thought you’d do or couldn’t do, but mothering proved you wrong?”

“How has your mothering changed throughout your journey as a mother? How has mothering in general changed over the years?”

“How do you want your children to remember you?”

“What do you do when you need a break?”

“What’s the most special thing about your family? What are things you enjoy doing as a family?”

“As a mother, in what ways do you depend on your own mother? On fellow mothers? On your husband? On God?”

“Looking back, can you share a time where God directed your path as a mother?”

“What kind of prayers have you prayed over your children?”

“How do you & your husband work together as a parenting team - how do y’all make it work together?”

“In 3 words, describe motherhood.”

For the grandmothers - “How is being a grandmother different from being a mother?” “What is your favorite thing about being a grandmother?” “How has mothering changed over the decades?” “What’s one of your favorite things about seeing your adult children with families of their own?” “What’s the legacy you hope to leave your children & their families?”

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

After all, it’s called Mother’s Day, not Women & Girls Day.

Meanings change and this one has too. The definition these days can include celebrating influential people in our lives although focused on maternal figures. Perhaps a church setting may be more along the past definition but that would be presuming something about the OP's church community that I can't really presume. Mother's Day as a title and Federal holiday is from 100 years ago (1914). I don't think it anyone has to celebrate any holiday any particular way but it also works in that you don't have to celebrate mother's day by only recognizing those who are mothers (by whatever definition you use), I assume most will still limit who they are celebrating but certainly it's not a case of it's not called Womens and Girls Day so you shouldn't expand.

 

[Wendy31]

Meanings change and this one has too. The definition these days can include celebrating influential people in our lives although focused on maternal figures. Perhaps a church setting may be more along the past definition but that would be presuming something about the OP's church community that I can't really presume. Mother's Day as a title and Federal holiday is from 100 years ago (1914). I don't think it anyone has to celebrate any holiday any particular way but it also works in that you don't have to celebrate mother's day by only recognizing those who are mothers (by whatever definition you use), I assume most will still limit who they are celebrating but certainly it's not a case of it's not called Womens and Girls Day so you shouldn't expand.

Well, since the OP asked for advice on questions to ask mothers of all ages in a Mother’s Day tribute video at her church, I feel okay assuming that her church maybe tends to focus on the traditional definition of the day.

And, absolutely, I agree - all the different roles women have played in our lives are important & should be noted. if you notice in my post, I didn’t say it wasn’t nice to acknowledge women & girls & all the different ways women are influencers in our churches & in our societies - no, I didn’t say it those very words, but I think the meaning can be inferred.

And I’m not sure you understood my meaning when I said it’s called “Mother’s Day” & not “Women & Girls Day” - I meant, that, if you’re a woman trying to have a child or a woman that can’t have children for whatever reason, being acknowledged as a woman on Mother’s Day doesn’t take away the internal sting of not being a mother on Mother’s Day.

And, celebrating all the women doesn’t & shouldn’t take away the unique role & influence a mother has in our lives, & it’s okay for a church (& society) to recognize the mothers.

YMMV

 

[TwoMisfits]

Meanings change and this one has too. The definition these days can include celebrating influential people in our lives although focused on maternal figures. Perhaps a church setting may be more along the past definition but that would be presuming something about the OP's church community that I can't really presume. Mother's Day as a title and Federal holiday is from 100 years ago (1914). I don't think it anyone has to celebrate any holiday any particular way but it also works in that you don't have to celebrate mother's day by only recognizing those who are mothers (by whatever definition you use), I assume most will still limit who they are celebrating but certainly it's not a case of it's not called Womens and Girls Day so you shouldn't expand.

There's International Women's Day on March 8 for celebrating all women. It's become a big thing the last few years, with serious national press.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Well, since the OP asked for advice on questions to ask mothers of all ages in a Mother’s Day tribute video at her church, I feel okay assuming that her church maybe tends to focus on the traditional definition of the day.

And, absolutely, I agree - all the different roles women have played in our lives are important & should be noted. if you notice in my post, I didn’t say it wasn’t nice to acknowledge women & girls & all the different ways women are influencers in our churches & in our societies - no, I didn’t say it those very words, but I think the meaning can be inferred.

However, that doesn’t & shouldn’t take away the unique role & influence a mother has in our lives, & it’s okay for a church (& society) to recognize that. N

YMMV

I think it's def. okay for anyone to celebrate mother's if that's what they want to, but as you can see from other comments as well there's an awareness of how we view the topic as it is today. The 2nd post even talked about women who were not labeled mothers even if they tried to be, the 3rd post talked about expanding to have a category for other types of moms (I personally loved the idea of shelter moms, like seriously love this idea), the 5th post asked about why if talking about mother's influence does it have to be only from mothers or females, and so on. You get the picture

Even 5 years ago you might not have seen the same awareness. But it is out there. So going off a name from 100 years ago isn't how we necessarily see it and there's a growing adjustment in that. You don't have to see it as only women who are mothers, you can, but you don't have to.

And as far as churches well that's the part I didn't want to presume because just because you are in a church does not mean you are only traditional. Different denominations and different churches within the same denomination are different. Back when I was younger we had Father George who was more adventurous and less traditional than any other priest I have met since in the Catholic church and this was decades ago! Maybe the OP's church is strictly the definition, maybe not but the only thing I can say more confidently speaking broadly may occur more frequently with a church is having more faith-based answers come about compared to if you had it in a secular setting.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

There's International Women's Day on March 8 for celebrating all women. It's become a big thing the last few years, with serious national press.

See my other post and yes I know your intent by mentioning what you did

 

[Wendy31]

I think it's def. okay for anyone to celebrate mother's if that's what they want to, but as you can see from other comments as well there's an awareness of how we view the topic as it is today. The 2nd post even talked about women who were not labeled mothers even if they tried to be, the 3rd post talked about expanding to have a category for other types of moms (I personally loved the idea of shelter moms, like seriously love this idea), the 5th post asked about why if talking about mother's influence does it have to be only from mothers or females, and so on. You get the picture

Even 5 years ago you might not have seen the same awareness. But it is out there. So going off a name from 100 years ago isn't how we necessarily see it and there's a growing adjustment in that. You don't have to see it as only women who are mothers, you can, but you don't have to.

And as far as churches well that's the part I didn't want to presume because just because you are in a church does not mean you are only traditional. Different denominations and different churches within the same denomination are different. Back when I was younger we had Father George who was more adventurous and less traditional than any other priest I have met since in the Catholic church and this was decades ago! Maybe the OP's church is strictly the definition, maybe not but the only thing I can say more confidently speaking broadly may occur more frequently with a church is having more faith-based answers come about compared to if you had it in a secular setting.

Okay. I’m not sure why you’re arguing w/ me.

I think if you’ll reread my original post, you’ll see where I said something about how Mother’s Day is a difficult day for many w/ a lot of complex emotions. I even said that I sometimes have a hard time w/ the holiday.

So I get it & understand & feel like the day should be treated w/ sensitivity & kindness & inclusivity (as I mentioned).

Again, as I’ve said before, I absolutely agree that there are many wonderful women influencers in our lives who maybe are not technical “mothers” but are still very much worthy of being recognized & honored.

Additionally, of course, Mother’s Day can be celebrated or NOT celebrated in any way one personally desires. Go for it & have a lovely day! (I mean, people have different feelings about all of our official holidays - it’s not unique to Mother’s Day!)

But, again, I believe - no matter how one may personally feel or not feel about the day - that it’s still okay to recognize & honor the unique role & influence mothers have in society in general & in our lives personally & that the idea of mothering should not be erased.

So then Mother’s Day becomes a good day for a celebration of mothers, & the celebration can be done in a way that does not take away anything from others but still recognizes & honors the mothers in our lives & in our societies.

And, since I was responding to the OP & her original request regarding a tribute video her church is doing on Mother’s Day as a tribute to the mothers in her church, I responded w/ that in mind. I kinda feel like that, if the OP’s church looked at Mother’s Day in a different, less traditional way, she would have mentioned it.

Again, others may have different thoughts & opinions from me, & that’s fine.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Okay. I’m not sure why you’re arguing w/ me.

I think if you’ll reread my original post, you’ll see where I said something about how Mother’s Day is a difficult day for many w/ a lot of complex emotions. I even said that I sometimes have a hard time w/ the holiday.

So I get it & understand & feel like the day should be treated w/ sensitivity & kindness & inclusivity (as I mentioned).

Again, as I’ve said before, I absolutely agree that there are many wonderful women influencers in our lives who maybe are not technical “mothers” but are still very much worthy of being recognized & honored.

Additionally, of course, Mother’s Day can be celebrated or NOT celebrated in any way one personally desires. Go for it & have a lovely day! (I mean, people have different feelings about all of our official holidays - it’s not unique to Mother’s Day!)

But, again, I believe - no matter how one may personally feel or not feel about the day - that it’s still okay to recognize & honor the unique role & influence mothers have in society in general & in our lives personally & that the idea of mothering should not be erased.

So then Mother’s Day becomes a good day for a celebration of mothers, & the celebration can be done in a way that does not take away anything from others but still recognizes & honors the mothers in our lives & in our societies.

And, since I was responding to the OP & her original request regarding a tribute video her church is doing on Mother’s Day as a tribute to the mothers in her church, I responded w/ that in mind. I kinda feel like that, if the OP’s church looked at Mother’s Day in a different, less traditional way, she would have mentioned it.

Again, others may have different thoughts & opinions from me, & that’s fine.

It's funny because we both agree on the same thing even You say it's okay to celebrate mothers well so do I! My point was about expanding what that means with how more people are viewing it. The expansion is not about removing mothers who have children but being more inclusive and recognizing that a prior way can be seen as limiting. It's definitely growing in recognition more and more.

It's almost like I'm reading in between the lines you feel Mother's Day from what it used to be is slipping away which I'm sorry if you feel that's the case

Ironic to the PP's interjection about women's day we do recognize women in a much more broad scale throughout the year (including Mother's Day) and likely in large part TO women's marches and women's history month. Nothing is going to limit us now

 

[dizneegirl]

Mackenzie... I don't know why you have to argue everything, especially if you it ends up that you "actually agree" with the other poster. Maybe you like to hear yourself talk (or in this case, type)? Or do you just need to get the last word? It's baffling.