Never Go to Bed Angry

[fraggle551]

My opinion is that no, you should never go to bed angry. At the very least, if the problem can truly not be worked out in one night, at least take a step back, calm down, and tell the other person 'I Love You'.

Thoughts?

 

[s____!]

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[DaisyLynn]

I agree completely. This is an understood rule in our house.

 

[JessicaR]

I agree!

 

[Jennasis]

I don't believe in that personally. It's rare that DH and I fight, but I have gone to bed angry and by morning I've slept it off.

 

[Pakey]

We've been married over 25 years and have had 3 disagreements in that time. We've went to bed angry all 3 times.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I don't believe in that personally. It's rare that DH and I fight, but I have gone to bed angry and by morning I've slept it off.

We're the same way. We rarely fight and in 17 years I can't remember DH ever raising his voice in anger towards me. Sometimes, I'll walk off in a snit but I'm over it by morning.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I agree!

AMEN!

 

[snarlingcoyote]

It is amazing how sometimes, in the morning, things seem totally different. Tempers cool off and you decide that compromise is a good thing.

 

[NikitaZee]

I don't believe in that personally. It's rare that DH and I fight, but I have gone to bed angry and by morning I've slept it off.

Us too. I have gone to bed angry quite a few times!! But I am usually over it by morning. If I'm not, though - I don't let my husband leave for work if we are in an angry way. We always have kind words, or at the very least a truce, before he heads out the door.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I have broken this rule. Sometimes sleep is more important than staying up all night until mutual agreement is reached. Then morning comes and cooler heads that have rested figure out or have forgotten what the fuss was all about.

 

[Aisling]

It sounds like a nice idea, but it doesn't work for me and my DH. We don't get angry at each other a lot,when we do, it's usually a doozy and we really do not even want to speak to each other all night, never mind make up to not go to bed angry. By morning, everything is back to normal, so for my marriage, going to bed angry let's us sleep the anger off. When we've argued, it usually didn't get solved by bedtime, and we both are uncomfortable saying we're sorry when we both don't mean it. Sleep is a good healer because when we wake up we really regret being angry and we tell that to each other. And then we're all again.

 

[mamacatnv]

I personally have never thought it was a "rule" that I was going to use in my house.
I have a short fuse and am often not reasonable when I am mad. DH is not a night person, his whole being shuts down early evening. I go to bed ticked off often and am usually over it by midnight or so. DH is usually clueless that I was even mad
Sometimes it carries into the next morning and then DH is alert and if I am still angry we can then resolve the issue with some clarity and logic.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I personally have never thought it was a "rule" that I was going to use in my house.
I have a short fuse and am often not reasonable when I am mad. DH is not a night person, his whole being shuts down early evening. I go to bed ticked off often and am usually over it by midnight or so. DH is usually clueless that I was even madSometimes it carries into the next morning and then DH is alert and if I am still angry we can then resolve the issue with some clarity and logic.

I could've written this!

"I was mad at you last night"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, but I got over it before I went to bed. You're back in my good graces."

"Uhm. . .do I dare ask WHY I was in the doghouse?"

"Need to know basis thing, dear."

 

[FredinFL]

That's as good as a fairy tale to me. It's hard to get to sleep if you're really angry, but other than that, it doesn't bother me. But go ahead and dream honey. You're probably young or something.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

My wife and I have been together over twelve years, and have had only two truly major arguments. Both times I cannot say that we went to sleep totally happy, but we did reiterate our love for the other and made sure that the other knew that we loved them, even if we didn't necessarily "like them" right then.

The best advice I ever received, from my grandparents who were married for over sixty years until the day my grandpa passed away, is:

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

Our house has not yet caught fire, and I have never yelled at my beautiful wife (nor her at me).

 

[collegejunkie]

i generally believe in this. i try not to go to bed angry, but as a PP said, i am also a grudge holder and i won't be happy until everything is resolved. i typically say "i hope you realize that i'm still very mad, but i love you" to let them know it's not the end of our discussion about whatever it is, but that i do still love them

 

[disykat]

Doesn't work at our house.

It would be selfish and disrespecful for me to insist dh try to talk it through every angry thought before bed. I'd love to make him stay up and talk it out, but he is an introvert and usually needs a few DAYS to process, not minutes or hours. I've learned to give him the time and space he needs - but it generally means extroverted me has to stew for a bit before we can work it through.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Easier said than done for a grudge holder who is never wrong like me.

Same here. I like to pout, too. And that doesn't help the situation.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

My wife and I have been together over twelve years, and have had only two truly major arguments. Both times I cannot say that we went to sleep totally happy, but we did reiterate our love for the other and made sure that the other knew that we loved them, even if we didn't necessarily "like them" right then.

Do you live in the same house?