? on ideas on Wedding Gift for son

[Sun_soakin]

I think traditionally the grooms family pays for the rehearsal dinner, flowers and honeymoon. We are not old school, so I’d expect to contribute equally to their partners parents. Or, realistically, that’s all out dated since people are waiting until 30+ to marry and really don’t need any help. Furniture seems good for the actual gift.

 

[Karin1984]

I am category: ASK!

Why break your head over something and in the end maybe get something they do not need or want?
Stay away from furniture, vases, art, that is so incredibly personal. If they want furniture, go with them to a store, let them pick and you pick up the bill at check out.

 

[maxaroni]

Our DS got married this past November, we gift them their honeymoon. They already had a house and didn’t need all that much for their home.

 

[ColoradoMom!!]

I would like to know how much you, as a parent, chipped in for the wedding (or rehearsal dinner) in conjunction with what you chose to do as a wedding gift.

My husband's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, which for them was a lot of money, and we didn't expect or receive anything in addition to that. My parents covered the wedding pretty much in full - but we were young and just graduated from college and it was 1988

We did the honeymoon ourselves.

 

[maxaroni]

We paid for the rehearsal dinner, as we were parents of the groom. We gifted them their honeymoon. DIL’s parents gave cash to put towards the wedding, as their son was getting married 3 weeks earlier. They gave “x” amount to each to put towards the wedding. The rest of the wedding was on the couple.

When DH & I got married, my parents paid for the wedding in full and gifted us the plane tickets for our honeymoon. My inlaws paid for the rehearsal dinner and a cash gift.

 

[DisneyHardin]

We got married 13 years ago. My in laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and gave us, I believe, $200 cash. My parents are divorced, but each gave $5000 toward the cost of the wedding. My Dad/Stepmom didn't give an additional gift beyond that. My Mom also gave us luggage and a vacuum cleaner off our registry.

 

[ctc917]

Thank you all for suggestions on gifts for my son and future daughter-in-law.

To answer some of the questions my husband and I are paying for the Rehearsal dinner. I do have to say my son is getting married in CA and we are from NH so we are all traveling for the wedding and I think the Rehearsal Dinner(which was something else trying to play from the opposite coast)is going to cost us more then if they got married in NH. My son and his future wife have already purchased a home and are doing well in CA.
The reason why I thought I'd ask here for suggestion was that like the Grooms parents hosting the Rehearsal Dinner I didn't know if there was a suggestion out there that I haven't been able to find for a gift amount if one was going to give cash to ones son or is it really just up to what you can afford and what you feel you want to give. Also at this point with Covid as it is and their work schedules they have not planned a Honeymoon so we will probally give them some money towards that.

thanks
ctc917

 

[nolatravelgirl]

The number one thing is to only give what you can afford. Don't worry about what the groom's parent's traditionally give. I think it also should depend on where the couple are in their lives. Are they already living together? Own a house? Already successful with generous salaries?

 

[McKelly]

My own kids aren't married yet, but 25 years ago when I was married, my parents bought my DH and I an upright freezer - very useful!

 

[sheilafri]

As the parents of a groom we gave cash which they were free to use toward wedding, honeymoon, house, or whatever. We put the same amount “in trust” for the unmarried children to use as they please when the time is right for a larger gift. The amount of the gift will depend on your circumstances. You aren’t obligated to go into debt on their behalf.

 

[MrsPete]

When our oldest (a daughter) married, we paid for the wedding, which was very nice but not outrageously expensive. Money is wonderful and certainly appreciated, but it's spent and then forgotten. Being Southern, I wanted to give them a gift that would last /be a memory of the day -- my husband and I gave them double the silver for which they'd registered. It's something they use every single day and will enjoy for decades.

I've given the same gift to my nieces and nephews who have married /intend to continue with that plan.

 

[nolatravelgirl]

Being Southern, I wanted to give them a gift that would last /be a memory of the day -- my husband and I gave them double the silver for which they'd registered. It's something they use every single day and will enjoy for decades.

I've given the same gift to my nieces and nephews who have married /intend to continue with that plan.

I sure hope you mean stainless silverware and not sterling flatware. My sterling flatware costs over $600 per place setting. If she registered for 6 and you got 12 that is a $7000 gift.

 

[MrsPete]

I sure hope you mean stainless silverware and not sterling flatware. My sterling flatware costs over $600 per place setting. If she registered for 6 and you got 12 that is a $7000 gift.

Both, though her sterling was $189 per 4-piece place setting (and I bought a good bit of it on ebay for half that), which is considerably less than $600. And her everyday stainless is a very simple pattern and was very reasonable, but she has 24 place settings for everyday.

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

I got married in the late 90s. My wife and I asked our parents to pay for expenses, and they did. Back then, we did a full meal/ reception for 400 people and open bar all night for about $5,000 and my wife’s mom bought her dress. My parents gave us $500 cash for our honeymoon, wife’s mom gave us our plane tickets and wife’s dad gave us some crappy table and chairs set. Things are a lot different now and with kids getting married latter, the old traditions of who’s family pays for what are out the door. We have a son and daughter and told them both when they get married, they will get a set amount from us to use as they please on the wedding, eloping, house, honeymoon etc. my wife and I think we are going to be in the neighborhood of $25K for each of them. As the wedding business has exploded, it is quite wasteful if you ask me to think a “need” is a $50K plus wedding.

 

[easyas123]

I got married in the late 90s. My wife and I asked our parents to pay for expenses, and they did. Back then, we did a full meal/ reception for 400 people and open bar all night for about $5,000

Wow...400 people, full meal and open bar all night for $5K in the late 90's? That is some serious budget magic! And a lot of rental chairs!

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

Wow...400 people, full meal and open bar all night for $5K in the late 90's? That is some serious budget magic! And a lot of rental chairs!

We had a social hall at a church in town ( not the one we were married at) that allowed you to bring in your own food and booze and decorate as you pleased. The meal was done by some ladies associated with that hall, I think we paid $2 a person for roast beef, polish sausage, potatoes, vegetables and dinner rolls. We bought a ton of snack stuff at Sams club that we had sitting out all night. Went through 4 kegs and about 10 cases of whiskey. Bought the mixers on our own, like $.50 a 2 liter. Cake was about $500 and we did the rehearsal dinner at my wife’s moms backyard with fried chicken and sides from the local grocery store. My wife and I were in college, no money at all, so we had to do it this way. Her parents are divorced and the 3 sets of parents and step parents each paid 1/3

 

[Lewisc]

Add me to the money list. It's based on what you can afford. If literally giving them money goes against traditions find out what wedding expenses still have to be paid. Once you decide on a dollar amount you can pay DJ, photographer, part of the final payment for the venue etc.

edited to add If you're already paying $$$ toward the cost of the wedding you can ease back on a separate gift.

 

[easyas123]

We had a social hall at a church in town ( not the one we were married at) that allowed you to bring in your own food and booze and decorate as you pleased. The meal was done by some ladies associated with that hall, I think we paid $2 a person for roast beef, polish sausage, potatoes, vegetables and dinner rolls. We bought a ton of snack stuff at Sams club that we had sitting out all night. Went through 4 kegs and about 10 cases of whiskey. Bought the mixers on our own, like $.50 a 2 liter. Cake was about $500 and we did the rehearsal dinner at my wife’s moms backyard with fried chicken and sides from the local grocery store. My wife and I were in college, no money at all, so we had to do it this way. Her parents are divorced and the 3 sets of parents and step parents each paid 1/3

Well it sounds like you guys really did a great job making that budget stretch!

 

[unrequited23]

When DH & I got married there was an option for an open bar where the wedding couple paid per drink, not a flat rate per guest. Over half of our guests would not have a drink due to religious reasons so this was the option we chose. The catch was the bill would not be calculated until the next day when we were leaving for our honeymoon. My parents offered to pay the alcohol bill plus return DH's tux and take my wedding dress to the cleaners to get preserved.

Yes, I appreciated the $500 gift of the liquor bill but it was the act of service that meant so much more. So my suggestion is to do something that will let the couple focus on the celebration vs the stressful details.

 

[Buzzsgramma]

Five years ago at a lovely venue with excellent food...outside garden wedding....DJ ,drinks...$10,000.00 for a grandsons wedding...We the parents of his mother gave the gift of $3000.00 and DVC at AKL-Kandani for their honeymoon and flights and food...and another $1000 for furniture...