OT Attachement Parenting

[NemoMOm]

I was just wondering how many of you BF for longer than 1 year??? The WHO now recommends at least 2 years...
My DD is 20 months and we are still nursing 2 times a day.
I just read some of the Non-AP thread ,and while i think everyone is entitiled to their own opinion..the last post said something about BFing a walking toddler in the mall...and was wondering why that is such a problem. No one says anything if a "walking toddler" is drinking from a bottle.
IDK..i really dont want to start a debate, just wondering....really..lol
It funny..up until about a year ago i didn't realize that my parenting stlye had a label...with 3 dd's we just did what felt right for us.

I read that too and thought the same thing, not only why it should be a problem but what business is it of hers that a mother bf her child. DS is 2.5 and is just starting to self-wean and I get alot of grief about it because it is not the "thing" to do in the US.

I always tell people that

1. I'm doing the best for my child. After coming home from a dr. appt where she told me my medical problems were most likely from bf (turned out I have PCOS) and I should wean, DH did some research. He came down and saif OMG even at this age! Uh. no kidding!

2. It is good for me. The longer a mother nurses the better the chances of preventing, ostp., b. and o. cancer. Which run in my family.

3. Though not common in US it IS common worldwide. AND NO NOT THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES. I always get this and it drives me bonkers not Africa worldwide.

4. What I do for my child is no one else's business. Sorry to be rude but I don't understand why people think they should tell me how long to nurse for. I didn't tell you how wrong it was to give formual, did I? Or how about how long they should have the binky or bottle? Why, cause it is not my child and is none of my businesss. And I try not to make judgements on other people's parenting styles.

Well, those are my responses to people. I felt the same way you did when I read that in the NON-AP board. I also love how they pigieon hole? us. We all do the same thing including wearing our children to the point that they are never let down to play I wonder do people REALLY think that or are they so sure that their way is the only way that they close their minds to everything else?

I think of it like this I have researched parenting styles and tried several things and have found what works best for us. I don't coment on other parenting styles and am quite happy with my own. As a result I have a happy well-behaved sweet-heart. And since perfect strangers come up and tell me so, I know I'm not just biased. And I have to wonder if you make so many comments on my parenting style, maybe you are not truly happy with your own.

 

[amarberry]

I nursed my DD until she was 22 months old. The last few months, it was just a couple of times a day and then in the last month just once a day. One day, she just stopped asking for it. It felt like a very naturally conclusion.

My "favorite" comment that people make about nursing is when they say that a kid that has teeth shouldn't be nursing. That makes a lot of sense considering most kids get their first teeth around 6 or 7 months!

ETA- Before I had DD, I probably never would have thought that I would nurse past a year. I wasn't very knowlegable about the subject. As I approached my DD's first birthday, it didn't make sense to me to suddenly cut her off completely. I just approached her first birthday as the time to start introducing dairy products to her. Around 14 months, I started giving her a sippy cup with cow's milk during lunch. It probably took her another couple of weeks to even try drinking it.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I nursed my DD until she was 22 months old. The last few months, it was just a couple of times a day and then in the last month just once a day. One day, she just stopped asking for it. It felt like a very naturally conclusion.

My "favorite" comment that people make about nursing is when they say that a kid that has teeth shouldn't be nursing. That makes a lot of sense considering most kids get their first teeth around 6 or 7 months!

My girls both broke teeth at 12 weeks (I blame DH side of the family, his mom said he did too.) Babies learn not to bit very fast if we are consistent with not feeding them when they do. I had to learn this lesson the hard way both times, but the girls learned when I did. I also had to learn, even if they were not biting, but latching wrong with teeth I had to stop and start again. I had some "issues" that many people would of stopped feeding for, but we continued until self weaning at 27 and 31 months old. We went down to 3 then 2 then one feeding a day (when they woke up) to every few days to running out of milk. Very natural and easy and painless.

There is the what I like to think as the original AP thread around here somewhere. Are you breast feeding a toddler????? Anyone have a link to it?

 

[Ariel8676]

http://www.disboards.com/showthread...id=&highlight=are+you+breastfeeding+a+toddler
I think this is the one you were referring to... Im going to have to read through this..i think i read a few posts, but not all.

So are any of you going to be in WDW August 15-23?????? We'll be at SSR

 

[chobie]

I read that too and thought the same thing, not only why it should be a problem but what business is it of hers that a mother bf her child. DS is 2.5 and is just starting to self-wean and I get alot of grief about it because it is not the "thing" to do in the US.

I always tell people that

1. I'm doing the best for my child. After coming home from a dr. appt where she told me my medical problems were most likely from bf (turned out I have PCOS) and I should wean, DH did some research. He came down and saif OMG even at this age! Uh. no kidding!

2. It is good for me. The longer a mother nurses the better the chances of preventing, ostp., b. and o. cancer. Which run in my family.

3. Though not common in US it IS common worldwide. AND NO NOT THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES. I always get this and it drives me bonkers not Africa worldwide.

4. What I do for my child is no one else's business. Sorry to be rude but I don't understand why people think they should tell me how long to nurse for. I didn't tell you how wrong it was to give formual, did I? Or how about how long they should have the binky or bottle? Why, cause it is not my child and is none of my businesss. And I try not to make judgements on other people's parenting styles.

Well, those are my responses to people. I felt the same way you did when I read that in the NON-AP board. I also love how they pigieon hole? us. We all do the same thing including wearing our children to the point that they are never let down to play I wonder do people REALLY think that or are they so sure that their way is the only way that they close their minds to everything else?

I think of it like this I have researched parenting styles and tried several things and have found what works best for us. I don't coment on other parenting styles and am quite happy with my own. As a result I have a happy well-behaved sweet-heart. And since perfect strangers come up and tell me so, I know I'm not just biased. And I have to wonder if you make so many comments on my parenting style, maybe you are not truly happy with your own.

I got a lot of grief too, from everyone but my old Grandmother. She had her kids in the 1920's and BF all them, she even BF a niece that was born at the same time as one of her kids whose mother had to be hospitalized after the birth for several months. Anyway, she saw my 2.5 year old nursing and laughed as said "as long as she enjoys it."

I think the negative comments are coming from people who did not BF or did for a short time and hated it. There is a lot of pressure to do this and guilt heaped upon women who don't. Some of that comes from other BF moms, but most of does not. However, because there is the pressure, whenever some of them read comments from those of us who did BF it reads like a rebuke to them for bottle feeding and they get defensive.

Certainly there is a small group of women who look down on other women for not BFing. And I don't agree with that. However, because some of the bottle feeding mothers resent this mentality, it does not make sense that they do the same thing by condescending on women who do BF.

 

[chobie]

My girls both broke teeth at 12 weeks (I blame DH side of the family, his mom said he did too.) Babies learn not to bit very fast if we are consistent with not feeding them when they do. I had to learn this lesson the hard way both times, but the girls learned when I did. I also had to learn, even if they were not biting, but latching wrong with teeth I had to stop and start again. I had some "issues" that many people would of stopped feeding for, but we continued until self weaning at 27 and 31 months old. We went down to 3 then 2 then one feeding a day (when they woke up) to every few days to running out of milk. Very natural and easy and painless.

There is the what I like to think as the original AP thread around here somewhere. Are you breast feeding a toddler????? Anyone have a link to it?

Mine cut teeth at 4 months. I wonder about these women who make those comments, since they have no idea when the first tooth will appear, do they have a bottle of formula ready to go at the first glimpse of a tooth and plan on immediately and permanently weaning the baby at the very moment?

I think that comment about baby with teeth is specious.

 

[bellebud]

I just lost my long intro post, but here's my short version...

HI! We are a famly of 4 (me, dh, dd7yo and ds6yo).

We family bed (a king and queen pushed together).

I cloth diapered both and loved it (I miss fuzzy bunz!!)

I couldn't nurse and really wished I could have, but don' beat myself up over it.

Both kids are fully immunized, ds is circed (but I was really on the fence about this, and fil talked us into it and so did my mom re: my step-dad).

No spanking here, but that hasn't helped the kids not hit each other. I honestly don't know where they get it from, but they drive me nuts when they fight (which is 30% of the time and not just little arguments). They *fight!* when they fight. We stop it immediately of course, but they continue a few hours later or the next day. They're very normal kids. DS is at least 3 boys rolled into 1, and dd is a delightful little girl. DS was a very calm baby and toddler, and I thought *this is what my parenting has done* as I was patting myself on the back... then overnight at 4yo he became this high-energy handful, and I thought *is this what my parenting has done???* DD was a high-energy handful baby and toddler, then turned into a much calmer sweetie-pie, so who knows what makes our kids act the way they do. Aside from being in an extreme environment (violence, abuse, etc), kids are who they are and we're only guiding them, which is why I love ap philosophies.

Nice to meet you all!

 

[baybemama]

So we coslept for the first time without the snuggle nest and it was great! DS slept so well and I felt really in tune with him...I thought I would worry much more than I did!

Now I just need to find the right sling and I'll never have to let him go

 

[allyphoe]

Drug, alcohol or tabacco abuse could all be strong factors in deaths where the children sleep with the parents. One of the cardinal rules of co-sleeping is never co-sleep when you are impaired in any way.... rx drugs, illegal drugs, alcohol, whatever. They also play a big role in SIDS.

You can add to that list that smoking is considered to be a contraindication for safe co-sleeping. The smoke particles that cling to your clothes / hair can interfere with breathing in some way, apparently.

 

[chobie]

So we coslept for the first time without the snuggle nest and it was great! DS slept so well and I felt really in tune with him...I thought I would worry much more than I did!

Now I just need to find the right sling and I'll never have to let him go

What 3 months old and he is not completely independent? How will he ever go to off to college and become a CEO?

 

[baybemama]

What 3 months old and he is not completely independent? How will he ever go to off to college and become a CEO?

Ha! Well I expect him to be sitting at the kitchen table in his bumbo reading the NY Times by the next few weeks

...perhaps by 6 months when he starts solids we can transition him to the driver's seat in the car? Too early?

hehe

 

[allyphoe]

What I mean is that I would like to see statistics on how many boys in countries that do not routine circumcision on boys "have" to circ later on because on infections.

My recollection from ~5 years ago (when I was pregnant) was that the complication rate from infant circ was about the same as the rate of intact boys who would need a circ due to later medical issues (not all of which are infection).

 

[Juliet25]

I was just wondering how many of you BF for longer than 1 year??? The WHO now recommends at least 2 years...
My DD is 20 months and we are still nursing 2 times a day.
I just read some of the Non-AP thread ,and while i think everyone is entitiled to their own opinion..the last post said something about BFing a walking toddler in the mall...and was wondering why that is such a problem. No one says anything if a "walking toddler" is drinking from a bottle.
IDK..i really dont want to start a debate, just wondering....really..lol
It funny..up until about a year ago i didn't realize that my parenting stlye had a label...with 3 dd's we just did what felt right for us.

I nursed DD4 for 3.5 years. It felt very natural. I weaned her slowly, but I have a feeling she would have gone on a bit longer.

It's ridiculous to set a timetable on these sorts of things. Some people say you shouldn't nurse a baby with teeth. Well, some kids are born with teeth! My friend's DD was walking when she was 8 months old. Does that mean she should have stopped short of the full one year recommendation?

I find it best to stick with facts when it comes to nursing. I've never seen any study that demonstrates any harmful effects of nursing past infancy. In fact, the opposite it true. I think I'll take medical advice from an medical body like the World Health Organization over Jane Schmoe with hang-ups.

Oh, and as for your parenting style having a "label," I think that's true to a certin extent, but really it's just like you pointed out: it's natural. I don't think too many of us followed the AP guidebook (j/k-not sure if one exists!). It's more of a retrospective realization, kwim?

 

[dunbarfamily]

Oh my gosh! I saw the thread title and just HAD to post! Disney and AP, my two favorite subjects! I hope you don't mind me jumping in!

I nursed Keltin until he was a year old, I wish I would've gone longer, but I was uninformed and didn't know how to tune into my instincts yet.

Mackenzie nursed until she was about 19 months. That's when I was about a month pregnant with William and I think my milk changed or something, and I know there wasn't much there.

William's still going strong. He will nurse as long as he wants.

Great thread! Looking forward to going back and reading all (gulp!) 12 pages of posts!

 

[Juliet25]

I nursed Keltin until he was a year old, I wish I would've gone longer, but I was uninformed and didn't know how to tune into my instincts yet.

One year is an awesome accomplishment! For DD & I to go beyond one year (she weaned at 3.5), it helped that I had support from others nursing toddlers, kwim? If it's normal in your group, it's easier to keep going. Honestly, if I didn't see my SIL nursing her DS (5 months older than my DD), I don't think I would have nursed DD for more than a few weeks!

 

[tonilea]

At first, I intended to nurse Thomas until he had teeth, then it was for a year.... somehow that changed until 18 months or two years. Unfortunately, I had to wean him cold turkey at 16 months when I had back surgery. I think I took it harder than he did.

I wish I could have nursed him through flu season. I am absolutely convinced if we had been able to nurse to two years old, he would never have been hospitalized with dehydration the winter I had to wean him. I am sure he would have been able to keep breast milk down and actually digested some of it.

My Mom, who was very supportive of BFing initially, started asking "When are you going to stop doing that." at about a year.

 

[dunbarfamily]

Tonilea-Its so hard to tell if that would've prevented the hospitalization. Sometimes, we do all the things we know in our hearts are the right way to do things, and still, unfortunate things happen. Trust me, I know.

You gave your little guy the best start and kept doing it until you became unable to.

Boo on the naysayers!

 

[NotUrsula]

I don't think too many of us followed the AP guidebook (j/k-not sure if one exists!).

One does exist. The generally recognized AP bible is The Baby Book, by William and Martha Sears. It was first published in 1993, and is now in its second edition (one of their sons is now a co-author; he is also a pediatrician.)

 

[Juliet25]

One does exist. The generally recognized AP bible is The Baby Book, by William and Martha Sears. It was first published in 1993, and is now in its second edition (one of their sons is now a co-author; he is also a pediatrician.)

True. I have heard Dr. Sears books recommended. I read "The Fussy Baby Book" when DD was around 9 months. But I never read the "guidebook" before having DD. I just followed my instincts and voila -- found out that we're AP!

 

[grlpwrd]

The only reason I came onto the thread is the Detroit News article this morning. It was on topic and in response to everyone here saying how very safe co-sleeping is.

Well, not always. And people who are thinking about it should know all the details.

I imagine we'll hear more in coming days on this out of Detroit.

Interesting... knowing how you feel about carseats and all. Why interject here and push for safety in the crib yet not in an airplane?

They both involve risk.