OT: I am shocked about teacher gift request!!!!!

[mjkacmom]

What I also don't understand is how the school is allowed to give out a child's phone number to a volunteer who's not officially staff or even give it out to other parents (who have not gone through background checks).

Interesting. Although security is pretty tight at our schools (doors locked, buzzer, no parent volunteers), up until last year, every child was given the class list, with parents names, addresses and phone numbers. Now, a volunteer parents sends out a form, asking if they can use the families information, and makes up a student directory, which most participate in. What a PITA to not have this information!

 

[mom2aredhead]

So...

As I'm sitting here stuffing tissue paper and gift cards into cute little containers for the teachers, I thought of this thread. The end result in our class was a good amount of participation...

We have 23 children, and I had requested $10 each. I received a total of $210 from the kids. 3 children did not participate, 2 parents sent extra. The letter home stated that they may donate whatever amount they wished and any donations were voluntary. I called 6 parents that didn't send anything in AFTER the date had passed to see if they wanted to participate, stressing it was optional but I wanted to make sure that if their intention was to send something they didn't forget. 2 thanked me for reminding them and sent their donations the next day. 1 said she had already sent it in, but the envelope was still in the bottom of her kids book bag, so luckily we found that one. The other 3 did not return my call and did not contribute.

So we...

• Purchased a $125 Visa gift card for their main teacher
• Purchased 4 $20 gift cards ($80 total) - 1 each for the art, gym, music, and science teachers.
• Purchased 2 cookie trays, 2 bags of chips, paper plates and table cloths for the class party
• Purchased empty goody bags, which I stuffed with the leftover candy they had in the class from decorating their gingerbread houses
• Purchased extra candy canes and a few other goodies because the goody bags looked a little empty with just the leftover candy
• Purchased cards for the teachers, which held a class photo that I printed here at home and had everyone's name on it. (Though unfortunately every class photo I had was missing someone so I went with the one that had 22 out of the 23.
• Purchased tissue paper and decorative containers to hold the gift cards

All of which totals more than $210...but I had about $7 left over from other parties and things we had done up to this point and the rest I just paid for. I really didn't want to ask for party donations or more money after just collecting the $10, keeping this thread in the back of my mind...

I probably could have done a little less for the main teachers gift card and more for the party, but I was trying to do $5 per kid for the main teacher gift, $1 per kid (so $4 total) for the other 4 teachers gifts, and do a little more "budget" party.

So there you have it. I just got done signing 23 names on 5 different cards...and I never realized until I did that how many of them have LONG names...I decided we need more kids named "Joe" and "Kim" in this world...
For anyone out there that wonders where the money goes (I know there were a few posts), that's what we did with ours. And I saved the envelopes that the money came in (with the kids names on them) as well as all of the receipts in case anyone asks.

Happy holidays to everyone out there!

 

[3mickeys&me]

Good Job. Have a wonderful holiday!

 

[kinntj]

I was sick the past 2 weeks, so I didn't go through with the class gift collection. It looks like each boy and girl brought in their own little gifts for the teacher this past week. They looked very cute sitting on the counter behind her desk in a pile.

I just got her a $40 GC to the local town center. That way she can go to a resaurant, theater or any store in the area.

Mom2aredhead, you did great! That's what I would have loved to have done. I agree that every child's name should be put on the card. I know a lot of room moms here leave names of kids off who don't contribute. One year I didn't contribute and Katie's name was left off, but we went out and got our own gifts to give the 3 teachers. Katie didn't feel one bit left out from the main gifts. She was excited to make or pick out her own present to the teachers.

Have a great Holiday!

 

[dvcdisney]

A few years ago, I was called by the class mom who wanted to know if i would like the idea of getting a gift card for the teacher since it would be easier for everyone and she would get what she wanted. I said that it was a great idea. She said she would speak to the other parents and find out if anyone else was interested. Nearing the last week of school before the break I still haven't heard from her. So I assumed that she wasn't doing it since she felt that some parents have already said no.

So I bought the teacher a gift. The day before the last day of school, she calls and says that she has purchased the gift card and my share is $35. I said to her that I had waited for her call and I had already purchased a gift already. Needless to say, she was not a happy camper. I spoke to a few moms after that because I thought it was in poor taste and she was rather rude about it. She had decided on the amount without discussing it with us. I soon found out that most of those who said yes had told her that they have not intention of paying her since they already bought a gift as well. So she just started to increase the price per person as she called each parent.

I guess my point is, it never ceases to amaze me how people think.


Anyways, I love the idea of teachers asking for donations to their charity in lieu of a gift. I have always thought that it was very generous and thoughtful. I have always donated in their honour whenever they have requested it. I have also brought them a small gift to go along with it. I just find the gesture very selfless and considerate.

 

[KnDWallace]

I am sure the class mom has the best intentions, but like most class moms (no offense intended) but they tend to be pushy busy bodies. I don't know what your rules are, but in my school district, gifts are not allowed to be over 20$. So if she is intending to combine all of them into one large gift, she could be getting the teacher in trouble if she accepts it. That is of course depending on your school rules.

 

[gillenkl]

At my DDs school (a private school) during the christmas program there is an intermission and a collection plate is passed. This money gets divided among the teachers as their holiday bonus. It's suggested in a letter home that each family donate $25.

 

[dismom301930]

I am sure the class mom has the best intentions, but like most class moms (no offense intended) but they tend to be pushy busy bodies.

Wow. This is pretty rude....and, no, I'm not a class mom. I am actually a former teacher (now a stay-at-home mom) and I really appreciate anyone who gives up his or her time to help out in the classroom.

 

[Dawn414]

We had a letter come home too, but I felt it was appropriate enough. There was no pressure involved (and the amount was $12)...there are ~17 kids in the class which makes it about $200. I called the room mom up and simply said I had already gotten something for both teacher's and wouldn't be contributing to the class gift. She was totally fine...

 

[DVC Sadie]

It seems simple to me. Participate if you want to-decline if you don't.

Exactly!

 

[twob4him]

As a teacher, I would be horrified if someone were collecting money, especially that much , to buy me a gift! That is absolutely crazy. What happened to a homemade card and an apple or something small??? Or just a simple heartfelt thank you from a student?

 

[kcromley]

It is funny, this is an older thread, but shortly after all the postings and back and forth over the appropriateness of the request several weeks ago, my copy of Consumer Reports magazine arrived. Consumer Reports is a non-profit devoted to research, testing and survey of various consumer products ranging from toasters to cars. Anyway, what does it contain, but their survey results for holiday gifts to various categories of personnel, including "child's teacher". The survey stated that 59% of those surveyed with children in school gave a gift to the teacher, and the average amount of the gift was reported as $20.

 

[mjkacmom]

As a teacher, I would be horrified if someone were collecting money, especially that much , to buy me a gift! That is absolutely crazy. What happened to a homemade card and an apple or something small??? Or just a simple heartfelt thank you from a student?

LOL - I see you are from NJ, same as I. I've never heard of NOT doing a collection for teachers (twice a year here).

 

[mom2aredhead]

I am sure the class mom has the best intentions, but like most class moms (no offense intended) but they tend to be pushy busy bodies.

Oh no, that wasn't offensive at all...


Out of respect for the teachers that don't make completely rude generalizations about people who volunteer their time, I will not respond to this except to say that I only hope you never need one of those pushy busy bodies to help you out in a classroom, or with a project, or contacting parents, or planning an event, or chaperoning a trip.

 

[runswithscissors]

I never participate in class gifts. I prefer to purchase my own gift (whether it's a gift card or something else) and have my son present it to the teacher. I just feel it's more personal-JMO.

I received an email from the classroom mom (she sent it to all the parents) informing us of her intention to collect $ for a gift and I politely declined. DS is in 1st Grade and we purchased a $40 Target gift card and Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree (we gave the same book to his Kindergarten teacher) for his teacher and a $20 Target gift card for the teacher's assistant. He enjoys presenting his gifts to his teachers and a classroom gift would take that away from him.

 

[Momma2dakidz]

at teh risk of being ignorant......

I am sure your child loves showing off what he picked out for his teacher. I am also sure that child who's daddy just lost his job would love to show off his gift too, had his family been fortunate enough to afford a gift, Instead all he has is a homemade card that he doesnt feel is adequate. He wanted to bring in a big gift because he loves his teacher.

This is the reason why personal gifts are not allowed at my school. A note is sent home early in the year stating no personal gifts will be accepted during school hours. If the family MUST give a gift it is to be hand delivered by a parent to the school office. Now in my class we make gifts for all the staff so hurt feelings do not occur. Each child has something to give thier aid and teacher. (class of 8 compared to 28) Have i gotten gifts slipped to me, yes, do i appreciate them most definately. My own classroom was the reason why this policy was implemented. I had a student who loved me to pieces, she was also homeless. I had a student "billy" who was a handfull and plotted my death every day, his family was quite wealthy...he brought in a huge boquet of roses, candy and a nice sized gift card to a favorite store. "little homeless cindy" was beside herself because the day before she brought me in a single fake red rose. a rose she earned cleaning the tables off after dinner at the shelter. "Billy" bragged for months about that darn gift! and cindy cried for months because her gift wasnt as good as billy's. That gift card was used to buy cindy clothes. and the roses went into the trash the minute i got home. they werent a gift given with love, they were a bribe for putting up with that child. The following year i had a student who was in last years class come up to me quietly and say ms. becky i need some help with my bag outside. (thinking he wet himself again i dropped my teaching and took him to the hall) in the bag was a card he made.... he said i didnt want cindy to see me give you this awesome card. i didnt want her to cry again. (later that day when i went to my box in the office i saw a letter from tommy's mom thanking me for teaching her child morals and that he insisted he couldnt give you anything big because cindy would be hurt. Of course mom had a nice gift with that letter but that was greatly appreciated, because the child got to give me his gift, and no feelings got hurt in the process.

yes the world is full of the haves and have nots but school is NOT the place to have that lesson plastered all over.

UGH please excuse the grammar and keyboard errors......its been a long night.

 

[runswithscissors]

at teh risk of being ignorant......

I am sure your child loves showing off what he picked out for his teacher. I am also sure that child who's daddy just lost his job would love to show off his gift too, had his family been fortunate enough to afford a gift, Instead all he has is a homemade card that he doesnt feel is adequate. He wanted to bring in a big gift because he loves his teacher.

yes the world is full of the haves and have nots but school is NOT the place to have that lesson plastered all over.

Thank you for your response. It's important for me to point out that the rules that have been established at your school are not the rules at my son's school. At the school he attends, each family makes their own decision about what they would like to present to their teacher (if anything), and rightly so. If my son wants to "show off" and purchase a gift for his teacher and teacher's assistant, that's our prerogative. Showing appreciation and generosity is something we proudly teach our son.

 

[mjkacmom]

at teh risk of being ignorant......

I am sure your child loves showing off what he picked out for his teacher. I am also sure that child who's daddy just lost his job would love to show off his gift too, had his family been fortunate enough to afford a gift, Instead all he has is a homemade card that he doesnt feel is adequate. He wanted to bring in a big gift because he loves his teacher.

This is the reason why personal gifts are not allowed at my school. A note is sent home early in the year stating no personal gifts will be accepted during school hours. If the family MUST give a gift it is to be hand delivered by a parent to the school office. Now in my class we make gifts for all the staff so hurt feelings do not occur. Each child has something to give thier aid and teacher. (class of 8 compared to 28) Have i gotten gifts slipped to me, yes, do i appreciate them most definately. My own classroom was the reason why this policy was implemented. I had a student who loved me to pieces, she was also homeless. I had a student "billy" who was a handfull and plotted my death every day, his family was quite wealthy...he brought in a huge boquet of roses, candy and a nice sized gift card to a favorite store. "little homeless cindy" was beside herself because the day before she brought me in a single fake red rose. a rose she earned cleaning the tables off after dinner at the shelter. "Billy" bragged for months about that darn gift! and cindy cried for months because her gift wasnt as good as billy's. That gift card was used to buy cindy clothes. and the roses went into the trash the minute i got home. they werent a gift given with love, they were a bribe for putting up with that child. The following year i had a student who was in last years class come up to me quietly and say ms. becky i need some help with my bag outside. (thinking he wet himself again i dropped my teaching and took him to the hall) in the bag was a card he made.... he said i didnt want cindy to see me give you this awesome card. i didnt want her to cry again. (later that day when i went to my box in the office i saw a letter from tommy's mom thanking me for teaching her child morals and that he insisted he couldnt give you anything big because cindy would be hurt. Of course mom had a nice gift with that letter but that was greatly appreciated, because the child got to give me his gift, and no feelings got hurt in the process.

yes the world is full of the haves and have nots but school is NOT the place to have that lesson plastered all over.

UGH please excuse the grammar and keyboard errors......its been a long night.

Actually, I think my children would be upset NOT to give the teacher a gift, since most families do, some very generous, and most also give to the class gift. The teachers do not open them in front of the students. We have no such rule about gifts - give whatever you want!

 

[Worfiedoodles]

So, I kept waiting for the note to come home from the room moms asking for a donation for the class gift -- we are in a new school this year -- and the request never came home. Sigh. I really prefer it that way.

So, instead today I put together a gift bag with Lindt chocolates, C.O. Bigelow lemon body cream wash, and Avon hand cream and lip balm. I hope his teacher likes it, or at least can regift with it. I would much rather have given to a group gift. I also thought about doing a gift card, but since ds is going to hand it to her, I wanted it to be more tangible. Not to make anyone else in the class feel bad, but so he felt like he gave her something. After reading these posts, I'm second-guessing myself. I don't want any other child in the class to feel bad and since it's a new school, I don't know what the norm is. I don't want my ds to be the only one without a gift, so I'm erring this way. I think he'd feel less awkward if he's the only one with a gift...to further complicate matters, the class does not have a party. I'm going to look back in the online handbook to see if I come up with an answer with regards to policy, but I have a feeling we just have to wing this one...

I'm also having him write a note thanking her, so it will be more personalized that way.

 

[jodifla]

I think gift collections are really nice...saves from all the small gifts that teachers have plenty of!

We collected $180 in our classroom, and got really nice Borders giftcards for the teacher and her assistant.

Our "suggestiong" $2, most people obviously put in a lot more.