Pajamas in the concierge lounge

[pearljammer]

Please have the self-respect and the respect for others to only wear pajamas in your private rooms.

Bahahahaha Been to Cabana’s for breakfast much? Bahahahaha

 

[Cheburashka]

Bahahahaha Been to Cabana’s for breakfast much? Bahahahaha

Like I said, have respect for yourself and for others. That would be a good rule to follow for your posts here, too.

 

[pearljammer]

Like I said, have respect for yourself and for others. That would be a good rule to follow for your posts here, too.

I have respect plenty. But not everyone is in the “concierge’ area so we see quite a bit. Am I offended? No. Do I find it disrespectful? Don’t know that I do as long as they are well mannered and respectful. I’ve seen well dressed act like completely entitled baboons and rude so it’s not what you wear but HOW you wear it.

 

[ArtemisPhoenix]

You probably won't even read this response because you believe I was jumping all over you and being snarky or whatever. That's fine. I tend to speak honestly and bluntly. Take it or leave it. I don't like when people are wishy washy and fake nice and don't just come out and say how they feel. My delivery is probably not the best, but I assure you there was no nasty intent.

For what its worth, my only 2 children are also autistic. They are older teens now. It's been a long ride with lots of bumps along the way. Like your kids, they are also very logic driven. To them, even as young toddlers, pajamas are for sleeping, period. They never wanted to eat anything in pajamas, ever. They would wake up and immediately get dressed, and still do to this day (ages 17 and 19 at this point). I have tried to tell them they can eat breakfast in their pajamas if they want, and they look at me like that's crazy talk.

So, I mean, all kids are different, definitely, but there is a very real opportunity to just establish "the rule" that "we get dressed to go in public places with other people around." My kids are ALL about guidelines for things. I think it helps them to just know straight up what is expected of them.

Autistic people struggle mightily with making inferences and trying to figure out social norms on their own. You have to teach them literally everything about how they will be expected to behave and present themselves in different environments and situations. And they will listen and apply whatever you teach them forever, most likely. So take the opportunity to model what will be expected of them when they are adults out in the real world on their own one day. That's my free advice for parents of young autistic kids. Again, take it or leave it, but it meant to be helpful.

My kids are also boys who have always showered at night right before bed, so getting them dressed in the mornings for breakfast on vacation was literally a one minute deal. We would lay out the clothes the night before and either dress them ourselves when they were very little, or they would do it immediately upon waking themselves. Sometimes it was easier for me to grab some breakfast and bring it back to the room, but even then, they would be dressed. We had to make the decision whether to take them into the lounge each morning based on how well they slept and how likely a meltdown would be if they accidently spilled some milk or something. Because we DID have the fun experience of a meltdown in Cabanas when they ran out of bacon and we had to wait 10 minutes for more (guess who didn't even get to eat that morning?) and once in a concierge lounge when one son accidentally knocked over his water and ONE DROP landed on my youngest. That one was so bad that we had to basically go back to our room for 3 hours to get him calmed down again and we missed out on our morning plans. So, if your kids are prone to moody mornings, best to just do as much as you can to provide a controlled situation in the room. Room service breakfast sounds like a lovely compromise.

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’m autistic myself and there is a saying in the community: “if you’ve met one autistic person…you’ve met one autistic person”. We are all different. It’s why it’s called a spectrum. My kids are more along the lines of wanting to wear the same thing repeatedly or refusing to wear something because it itches slightly. And showers are something they resist at night most of the time.

That said, your point about modeling behavior for them and setting things up as rules definitely does work to a certain extent. I don’t want vacation to be something filled with unnecessary rules, if possible. But yes, breakfast in the room does seem like a safe way to avoid any issues. However, if I push too hard for us to stay out of the lounge, I know my DH will say that we are paying ti be there and wonder why we wouldn’t use it. Like I said, I’m trying to walk a fine line between everyone’s needs. But I do appreciate everything you’ve said (and that’s not me being fake nice…I’m not good at that and don’t like it either…I don’t think most of the responses on here were fake nice though…everyone has different perspectives). And I appreciate you taking the time to try to let me know that you weren’t trying to be rude.

I have a plan now…and back up plans. And lots of ideas for strategies that I think will work with the kids, the husband, me…and the knowledge that some people will care a lot if they think we’re not dressed well…and most people won’t. And I’ll just try to gauge it as we go. And try not to worry to much if we don’t look as fancy as everyone else in there at a particular given moment.

 

[KevinFL]

Please don’t jump on me for asking, and I’m not suggesting anything skimpy or like robes and slippers…but do we have to be fully dressed for the day before we go get coffee from the concierge lounge? Or is okay to wear pajama pants and a t shirt in the morning to get coffee? And can my kids wear a pajama set to eat breakfast in there or do they need to be fully dressed for the day?

PJs are good

 

[CarolynU]

The minute I open my stateroom door to go anywhere I’m out of nightware and dressed.
So are the young kiddies.
The minute we all walk into any of the dining rooms or public areas in the evening we are changed into smart casual.
The minute we go to the speciality restaurants we are dressed as semi formal.
The formal evening we are all formally dressed including the children.
Just the way we enjoy making our cruises different to our everyday lives.

 

[CastawayCayLover]

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’m autistic myself and there is a saying in the community: “if you’ve met one autistic person…you’ve met one autistic person”. We are all different. It’s why it’s called a spectrum. My kids are more along the lines of wanting to wear the same thing repeatedly or refusing to wear something because it itches slightly. And showers are something they resist at night most of the time.

That said, your point about modeling behavior for them and setting things up as rules definitely does work to a certain extent. I don’t want vacation to be something filled with unnecessary rules, if possible. But yes, breakfast in the room does seem like a safe way to avoid any issues. However, if I push too hard for us to stay out of the lounge, I know my DH will say that we are paying ti be there and wonder why we wouldn’t use it. Like I said, I’m trying to walk a fine line between everyone’s needs. But I do appreciate everything you’ve said (and that’s not me being fake nice…I’m not good at that and don’t like it either…I don’t think most of the responses on here were fake nice though…everyone has different perspectives). And I appreciate you taking the time to try to let me know that you weren’t trying to be rude.

I have a plan now…and back up plans. And lots of ideas for strategies that I think will work with the kids, the husband, me…and the knowledge that some people will care a lot if they think we’re not dressed well…and most people won’t. And I’ll just try to gauge it as we go. And try not to worry to much if we don’t look as fancy as everyone else in there at a particular given moment.

At the risk of devolving this conversation into one on autism, my oldest son is autistic and we did DCL cruises every year during Jersey week from about 5th grade until he graduated high school. After every cruise he seemed to grow a little socially and emotionally. The staff were great with him and it was the one place we felt very comfortable relaxing the rules for him and let him be and do what he wanted (all within reason obviously).

When we talked to him about this well after school had ended, he said it was the one time every year when he could be himself, he wasn't stressed about conforming.

He's turned out fantastic, far exceeding anything we could have imagined, so I would whole heartedly support whatever it is you decide to do as you sound like you're on the right track with them.

 

[TXDCLfan]

The minute I open my stateroom door to go anywhere I’m out of nightware and dressed.
So are the young kiddies.
The minute we all walk into any of the dining rooms or public areas in the evening we are changed into smart casual.
The minute we go to the speciality restaurants we are dressed as semi formal.
The formal evening we are all formally dressed including the children.
Just the way we enjoy making our cruises different to our everyday lives.

Ditto

 

[Jsoenning]

I say go for it if it’s in the morning no one will likely notice.