Parents: How often do you get a “Break?”

[NAB]

We got away for a week when the kids were 1 and 3. Don’t have family close , no one in school . After that it was vacation for all camping in the summer and WDW and later cruising with them.

Kids even went to our Anniversary dinners ...lol

They are 20 and 23 now and miss them so much wish they were little again. Empty nest is hard for us....lol

 

[Runnergal]

When my parents and mil were a little younger (and I only had 2 dc) they would take them overnight quite often. Longest was 8 days but lots of shorter trips and random overnights. Mil lives close to us so we almost never had to pay for a babysitter. Additionally, dh’s 2 sisters who have no kids of their own are extremely close with mine and beg to take them for sleepovers. I’m very lucky.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I got married young and had two kids by the time I was 23. The kids are 6 years apart. I had our son when we were teens.

When my kids were small I never got a break and I worked FT. My XH always got a break. He was/is very selfish and made sure he always had a social life. He didn’t care if I went out but he dang sure wasn’t going to stay home and “babysit.” It was up to me to find and pay for a babysitter if I wanted to go out. If he did say he would watch them 99% of the time he would bail on me at the last minute or just not come home from work and instead go out. Fun times. Lol

I don’t believe in leaving my kids with strangers so hiring a sitter wasn’t an option for me. My family doesn’t like to babysit including my mother so they never babysat. And my grandma watched my kids while I worked so I didn’t ask her to babysit for any extra days. My ex’s parents didn’t babysit for us either.

We got divorced 11 years ago when the kids were 9 and 3. By then my cousin was babysitting age so she would babysit for a few bucks once a month or so. So I got some freedom then. And when their dad would take them here and there. Then my grandma would take them on weekends sometimes but not if I asked. Only if it was her idea and she offered so I couldn’t plan anything ahead. And my ex’s mom told me when we got divorced that I was never to ask her to babysit and I never did. So she rarely ever sees my kids. Her loss.

Once my son hit 12-13 I started leaving him with DD here and there for a few hours. It grew into me being able to go out for a bit longer. That’s when I really started being able to have a break once a week or so.

Now they are 20 and 14 so we’re smooth sailing. They get invited to everything but sometimes they prefer staying home. We do little getaways without them (me and my SO) and DS is the babysitter. He’a been doing that since he was about 17. I also do 1-2 girls trips every year.

Imo it’s beneficial for my health to have me time and time with my SO. One day my kids will be gone so I do treasure the time we have right now. But at the same time I don’t want to lose who I am because one day they’ll be gone and what will I have left? Just myself and hopefully my SO too. it’s about balance for me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I can only speak for DH and I on this. The two biggest reasons we have never really pursued hiring a sitter are that we don't actually know anyone who is/would be willing to sit or anyone who could even give a recommendation, and the cost. We don't really know other parents in any of the areas we've lived (I actually literally know zero people at all in the state we're in now), so we've never really been in a position to hear about sitters that people we trust use or anything like that. It is hard to trust a complete stranger with your kids, especially when they are young. We had a couple of negative experiences with licensed day cares when my DD was a toddler and we were going to college and that has also made me a little more hesitant about hiring a stranger.

Also, when searching online, the cost of sitters has always been around $25-30/ hr for our 2 kids (more when DS was in diapers). Spending over $100 just on childcare so we can see a movie just hasn't been something we can really justify in our budget. We'd rather just stay in and spend that $100 on something we can do together as a family. I have paid my brother or my cousin to watch one or both kids when I've had doctor's appointments, but thankfully they have been more than happy with receiving less than $25/ hr.

We aren't ones who really rely on family to take the kids much either though. We've been able to go out a couple times per year for special occasions with family watching them, but there's never been an expectation or pressure placed if they didn't want to or had something else going on.

That might be the going rate on care.com, where they get a cut, but where I live it usually ranges from $10 to $20 (although I’d say $10 would be a younger sitter and older child, my daughters have been babysitting one family fir over 4 years and they’ve never received a raise, and it’s not an easy job). My 23 year old had a family pay $20 an hour, but 5 kids including a toddler. She had some jobs in a very afluent community, and now says she doesn’t want kids because she a career, and believes it isn’t fair for kids to have sitters all of the time (some families have sitters from the morning until bedtime because in addition to working, the parents go out a lot).

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

That might be the going rate on care.com, where they get a cut, but where I live it usually ranges from $10 to $20 (although I’d say $10 would be a younger sitter and older child, my daughters have been babysitting one family fir over 4 years and they’ve never received a raise, and it’s not an easy job). My 23 year old had a family pay $20 an hour, but 5 kids including a toddler. She had some jobs in a very afluent community, and now says she doesn’t want kids because she a career, and believes it isn’t fair for kids to have sitters all of the time (some families have sitters from the morning until bedtime because in addition to working, the parents go out a lot).

$10/hr seems a bit more reasonable. I just went onto Craigslist to see what the rates were on there for my area (not that I'd pick a sitter off of Craigslist) and one lady is wanting $100 PER HOUR PER CHILD ages 5-18, minimum 2 hrs. She also offers house sitting for a mere $50/hr, 2 hr min. I especially love their slogan: "We will take care of you , from the meek to the elite we have you covered."