Passive-aggressive guests

[Mokat76]

Please bear with me as I rant for a moment.

I'm planning a reunion for a couple of girlfriends and me late next month at my SSR home. We're all excited about going, but they're driving me crazy with their pre-trip behavior. Neither professes to have strong feelings about what they want to do, but when I suggest something, at least one of them says they don't want to do that. "Then what do you want to do?," I ask. "Oh, I don't know...whatever," they reply. Arrghhh! In the meantime, we have no meal ressies anywhere. I've warned them repeatedly that we're going to subsist on Mickey Bars (not necessarily a bad thing ) if they don't let me know what parks they want to go to so I can make ressies. We're only there over a long (but fortunately not a holiday) weekend, so we can't do it all. My inner tour guide demands a plan. My amigas want a plan, just not the one I've put together and nor one they're willing to devise on their own.

I'm shipping them brochures today from each of the parks plus Downtown Dis. I've told them to make some decisions before the middle of next week and let me know.

I know neither of them will weasel out of the trip, but dang their "I don't know, what do you want to do?" indecisiveness is driving me crazy.

Any suggestions? Should I cave into my inner tour guide, book ressies and lead them on a forces march through the parks of my choice?

Kat

 

[dianeschlicht]

I'd go ahead and book what you can at this late date, and if they don't agree with the plan after you get there, you can always cancel and let them do counter service!

 

[jakenjess]

I know how you feel. It seems I'm always the tour guide/planner, and I don't mind doing it, but it would be nice to get some input! What I did for our upcoming trip is throw out a few ideas and then if I didn't get any response went ahead and booked, then sent everyone the itinerary. I'd go ahead and make ADRs at places you think you'd all enjoy. At least there's a backup plan then. They'll thank you when you're not waiting an hour or two for a table!

 

[3DisneyKids]

I'd go ahead and book what you can at this late date, and if they don't agree with the plan after you get there, you can always cancel and let them do counter service!

Yup, I agree here. You have to make some plans...try for restaurants that you like and/or ones that have a varied menu so that everyone should be able to find something they like. If they don't like the choices, you can cancel and go counter service....

 

[isyt]

Okay , I am planning my 3rd girls weekend to DIsney right now. We leave Feb 1 and in the past I have booked surprises for the girls. Last year we did the Breathless for Illuminations on our first night (booked only a few days before also). Last year there was 6 of us at SS in a 2 bdrm and we did a Segway tour, PI , SS spa, and the preview weekend for EE. It was a great time so I am trying to top it.

This year there is only 4 of us so we are doing Beach Club concierge. I think we( me and the other Disney freak) will surprise the other 2 with the Princess and Pirate Party on our first night. This will be accompanied by some home made "move over Cinderella" t shirts and tiaras. I am at a loss for the rest of the weekend. I was thinking of a tour but will send everyone the prices.

Try to do the Segway tour, you will do nothing but laugh your heads off for hours!!!! Book what you want and tell them prices, if they come, great!

 

[Mokat76]

Thanks, y'all. Great suggestions. I'll book some ressies now and let them sort it out. The Segway thing sounds really fun. I've gotten us all girly gifts to celebrate our 20+ years of friendship.

Kat

 

[Lexxiefern]

I agree with the others. Go ahead and book what you want/can and then at least you have something for the trip. Good luck with the planning!!

 

[elijahpep]

Okay , I am planning my 3rd girls weekend to DIsney right now. We leave Feb 1 and in the past I have booked surprises for the girls. Last year we did the Breathless for Illuminations on our first night (booked only a few days before also). Last year there was 6 of us at SS in a 2 bdrm and we did a Segway tour, PI , SS spa, and the preview weekend for EE. It was a great time so I am trying to top it.

This sounds like an incredible girls weekend experience! Only makes me miss
Disney even more,... ho hummmm.

Disney Quest is also a great deal of fun for girls of all ages. ANDDDD they have cheesecake! No ressies necessary!~

Have a great trip and don't get discouraged,I bet it will all work out !
GOOD LUCK!

~DW

 

[Dean]

Trying to plan for everyone is a large group to do the same thing much of the time is a recipe for disaster IMO. I'd plan one or two group outings and let everyone go on their own otherwise.

 

[ggdvc]

This could have been written by me! Two years ago, my college roommate and I met at Disney for a week in between our birthdays. Prior to going, I sent her a link to the menus and told her to let me know where she wanted to eat. I even made some suggestions based on my must-do's. I never really got a response, so for the first time ever, I arrived at Disney without ANY ADRs (her whole excuse was "how will I know what I want to eat until I'm hungry?") We ended up being ok - we were able to get walk-ups with not much of a problem. Did we get to eat everywhere I wanted? No - but that was more due to her not liking what was on the menu (and I thought I was a picky eater!) than anything else. So I learned a whole new word (for me anyway) for Disney vacationing - flexibility

 

[kimberh]

I do hope you have a good time. You plan a day and let them each plan a day. If they don't, be prepared to do something. Those that have not been do not understand what you are asking them to do.

 

[mello]

Passive Aggressive Guests

My inner tourguide knows just how you feel!

Hope you get a plan soon and have a great time!

 

[disneymom8589]

When our family has been at Disney, we take turns choosing places to eat. We rotate through breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If we have a big character meal planned, for instance, we combine two people's choices. This has worked really well and has definitely eliminated the "where do you want to eat?" "I don't care"!! I make up the schedule before our trip and assign the dates and meals, that way everyone has plenty of time to think about where they want to eat beforehand so we don't waste time deciding at the park. I try to make it so everyone has an equal # of breakfasts, lunches, and dinners (or as equal as possible).

 

[kathleena]

You are outnumbered -a planner vs those who don't want to plan, but want to go on the fly.

So my advice is - go against your planning instincts and just don't plan. Stop trying to get them to do it, and you will feel less stress.

TS lunch ressies are much easier to get than dinner, so you can probably still have a TS during your stay if they start to "get it" during the trip.

 

[tiggercrew]

Maybe you could try what we do with our children when making plans for our trip...just have each friend choose one place that they would like for dinner or lunch. After you know that then you can plan out more of the details working in their meal requests. I know this isn't ideal, and even a meal choice may be hard for some, but atleast if they give you some feedback you won't feel like you're in this alone. Like others have said, you can always change the reservations once you get there but atleast you are guaranteed something more substantial than a mickey bar

Good luck with your planning and I hope you enjoy your "girls only" trip.

 

[Erie Islands]

Ask them to "meet you half way" and at least pick which parks they want to go to, and then you can make your ADRs based on that information. I think some people (myself included) get stressed when they are expected to micro-manage their time. And, as it's been mentioned before, you can always cancel your ADR's if it's not what everyone agrees to, but I think people are right, your friends will be happy that you have someplace nice to eat. Have a good time!

 

[stc1223]

I've invited my son's friend and her family to join us. Actually she's starting Disney College Program and the family doesn't have the money to go down so I offered our time share (along with us). My sons' girlfriends are joining us, as well, so we've now got 9 people staying in a 2br at SS. The CP's boyfriend and parents will be there the same time. So we're a total of 12 if we want to dine anywhere together. I've been asking who wants to eat where and I've gotten suggestions from the kids only and not a word from any of the grownups. Last night we were all together and I brought up the subject of making dinner reservations, only to have my friend roll her eyes and say "Here she goes with her anal planning. We never go down with reservations, we just wing it. Did you ever think of winging it???"

I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. I need to have 4 of you stay in my time share and you feel the need to bust my chops. Anyhow I did explain that it's real hard to go somewhere nice with a party of 12 so if you want to go to Boma's together, give me a date and I'll see what we can do. And I'll make all of my reservations for myself and my kids and let them have a ball winging it.

When will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut nad use my time share for just me and my kids???

 

[wilderness01]

Wow, so rude of her. I would just make the reservations for my family and let the rest of them eat counter service. It is harder and harder, as everyone who goes "knows" to get a walk up sit down restaurant reservation. I would just smile and comment on what a nice meal I had while she ate another hamburger/fry basket. Her loss.

 

[flexsmom]

STC - I know how you feel. Two years ago I was the "planner" for my parent's 50th anniversary that involved 14 of us. Based on feedback from each of the other 3 families, I didn't try to schedule a meal for each day, but we did schedule 2 dinners with everyone. Of course, on EPCOT Fantasmic night (which was on the plan), my DSIL suddenly announces that we should all troop to one of the sit-down restaurants and have a little dinner. I laughed openly and said there was no way that would ever fly, and she also rolled her eyes and more or less told everyone I was crazy. Well, an hour later after two different CMs pretty much also openly laughed at her when she sauntered up to the podiums to ask for tables for 14, we all trooped to pick up something at the ABC grocery, and the other families were apologizing to me for not believing me about needing advance ADRs!

To the OP - you could also make a lunch and dinner ADR at different parks/resorts and then once you get there and your girlfriends are getting serious about what to do, cancel one you won't use. That way at least you have something planned but still have "options".

Good luck!

 

[pickles]

I am facing the same ridicule you are. I am dealing with inlaws, my mom, husband and kids. Kids are easy, but the rest either don't answer, have no clue, won't look the info up I sent or just plain make fun of me because it is still 140 days away.

I finally solved my problem last night. Hubby gave me his input finally. So today i made ressies..one night with ressies just hubby and me..the rest can figure out what they want to do that day on their own.
Then the other ressies I made to include all of us and if they don't like it they can wing it and change it on their own when they get there. I at least will have some place to eat that I WANT to eat at or try , rather than settling.

All said, our last trip we had all our ADR, but made some changes while we were there. I am sure there is someone that got to eat at Hollywood and Vine because we canceled last minute and we had some other changes.
I am just glad we had ressies tho because when we did make last minute calls from the resort, we found not many choices and that was during Sept after labor day!