People who cheat on their spouses

[luvsJack]

I know a woman that truly thinks cheating is just a normal part of relationships. She has cheated on every man she has been in a marriage/relationship with. Even tells young women “it’s ok as long as he comes home to you”. Uhhhh no it very much is not!

Her adult kids have some sad lasting affects from it.

Her Dd is very much in love with her husband. She cheated on him simply because she thought that’s just what you do and she assumed her husband was cheating on her (he wasn’t). They have worked through it and are happy now. Both are faithful. But it was a long road and she had to realize that her mother’s influence was a huge problem.

Her son has quite a bit of anxiety about whoever he is with cheating on him. He is now married to a sweet girl who would never think of cheating. Sometimes the anxiety peeks it’s ugly head back out though and if anything ruins his marriage that will be it.

 

[NC Disney Dad]

Grandma always said: "If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you."

And mine always said that the Lord will send you a spouse, but it won’t be someone else’s!

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

A friend of mine lost his second wife about a year ago to cancer.

I knew that he had cheated on his first wife.

But what I just found out is that he had cheated with his second wife while married to
his first wife and his second wife cheated on her second husband with him!

Is this common?

Well they both married each other and was married about 20 years.

He told me that it was 'limited happiness' between them and I don't believe she was very happy either.

I didn't ask too many questions but she did not trust him while he did trust her but he found
pictures and letters that may show that she did cheat on him.....wow!!

Any comments?

Fortunately, I've never had to worry about cheating.
But personally, I would never marry someone who cheated with me. If they'll cheat with me, they'll cheat on me.
I'd say the couple deserved each other.

Jerry!, Jerry!, Jerry!

Post of the day.

 

[Disney Doll]

My mother always said “ A leopard doesn’t change its spots”.

If they cheated once, they’ll do it again. You’ll spend the rest of your life having to be vigilant...and that’s no way to live.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I’m going really simplistic here, who has the daggone energy for all that? Good Lord, between the kids, cooking,cleaning, working and my own husband I just want a glass of wine and a nap in my free time!!

MTE. Who needs something else on the "TO DO" list?

 

[fauna74]

My ex husband is engaged to the woman he cheated on me with.
I’m pretty sure he jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire on that one, lol

 

[Nancyg56]

While don't care what others do in their marriage, I also have no sympathy when their actins come back to bite them. You want to cheat? Go ahead, but when you find out you are the one getting cheating on, cry to someone else.

For me, cheating is a deal breaker. DH and I were separated a long time ago, and he knew that as long as I shared his name, he better be faithful, as was I. We both feel strongly about a faithful relationship. Truth be told, if I found out 25 years later there had been an "indiscretion" I would be out.

 

[TheConsciousness]

If you have children, I don't believe you should partake in ANY act to jeopardize that marriage. However, if you don't have kids and come to an agreement with your spouse to play with other people, that is your right. I've never understood how people can agree to stay monogamous their entire life, and I believe this thought process is becoming much more prevalent.

 

[ronandannette]

If you have children, I don't believe you should partake in ANY act to jeopardize that marriage. However, if you don't have kids and come to an agreement with your spouse to play with other people, that is your right. I've never understood how people can agree to stay monogamous their entire life, and I believe this thought process is becoming much more prevalent.

I disagree with the bolded but if that’s how someone thinks and feels, why on earth get married in the first place? And I’m curious as to what type of “vows” one would make, presuming this had all been agreed to beforehand. I also don’t know why children would factor into an equation like this - you either both want to have sex with other people or you don’t. If it’s all cool with both spouses, how does that jepoardize anything?

 

[TheConsciousness]

I disagree with the bolded but if that’s how someone thinks and feels, why on earth get married in the first place? And I’m curious as to what type of “vows” one would make, presuming this had all been agreed to beforehand. I also don’t know why children would factor into an equation like this - you either both want to have sex with other people or you don’t. If it’s all cool with both spouses, how does that jepoardize anything?

Of course this is my opinion, but as children could be negatively impacted by just about any weird situation their parents go through, I would say throwing anything that could cause rockiness into the relationship is a no-go for me.

Not sure I've ever heard anyone mention monogamy in their vows, mostly just to love and to cherish.

 

[Nancyg56]

If you have children, I don't believe you should partake in ANY act to jeopardize that marriage. However, if you don't have kids and come to an agreement with your spouse to play with other people, that is your right. I've never understood how people can agree to stay monogamous their entire life, and I believe this thought process is becoming much more prevalent.

It makes no difference to me what a couple has agreed to, but if both people are not in line with this arrangement, it is cheating. Personally, the idea of "playing" with other people is repugnant to me, and should my DH have sprung this little thought onto me, he would find out rather quickly that I do not play, and if he was considering it for us, he should sign off immediately.

 

[Nancyg56]

Not sure I've ever heard anyone mention monogamy in their vows, mostly just to love and to cherish.

Personally, I did not need to say it specifically. If I had to use those words I would not have gotten to the whole vows thing, I would be long gone.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Of course this is my opinion, but as children could be negatively impacted by just about any weird situation their parents go through, I would say throwing anything that could cause rockiness into the relationship is a no-go for me.

Not sure I've ever heard anyone mention monogamy in their vows, mostly just to love and to cherish.

Our vows definitely included monogamy. We're still together forty-two years later.

 

[cabanafrau]

Of course this is my opinion, but as children could be negatively impacted by just about any weird situation their parents go through, I would say throwing anything that could cause rockiness into the relationship is a no-go for me.

Not sure I've ever heard anyone mention monogamy in their vows, mostly just to love and to cherish.

Traditional vows have commonly included phrasing about pledging faith to one another, keeping only to each other, etc.

 

[DLgal]

Of course this is my opinion, but as children could be negatively impacted by just about any weird situation their parents go through, I would say throwing anything that could cause rockiness into the relationship is a no-go for me.

Not sure I've ever heard anyone mention monogamy in their vows, mostly just to love and to cherish.

"I promise to be faithful" is at the core of most traditional wedding vows.

 

[TheConsciousness]

This debate is likely going to turn into a new-age vs traditional values discussion, and I can see which side you're representing.
If at any time you feel heated about this discussion, feel free to unsubscribe from this thread.

 

[Hikergirl]

Of course this is my opinion, but as children could be negatively impacted by just about any weird situation their parents go through, I would say throwing anything that could cause rockiness into the relationship is a no-go for me.

Not sure I've ever heard anyone mention monogamy in their vows, mostly just to love and to cherish.

I had a traditional Catholic wedding and I do believe you are correct that there was no mention of monogamy in the vows. I'm sure the Priest mentioned it at some time during the ceremony, but IIRC the actual vows didn't mention it.
However since adultery is a sin according to that religion it is pretty much a given that when you promise to love, honor and cherish someone you are also promising to be faithful.

I really don't care what people do in their own marriage, but if you are a cheater, or the other woman/man save any future talk about how important family is. You aren't fooling anyone.

 

[Nancyg56]

This debate is likely going to turn into a new-age vs traditional values discussion, and I can see which side you're representing.
If at any time you feel heated about this discussion, feel free to unsubscribe from this thread.

Seriously? You think that monogamy is an old school value? I also find that it is pretty presumptuous to dictate who should participate on any given thread, especially since I see no contentious posts other than your own. Most of the folks here "know" each other and are quite comfortable sharing diverse opinions without any one of feeling the need to argue.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Not happy? Divorce them first.

Maybe it's just real life experience but to me there's a difference in a dissolution of marriage in terms of intent and finalizing divorce.

Divorce can take a while, sometimes years despite a separation, a legal separation, etc.

I'm actually going to my father-in-law's wedding this weekend. Before his divorce was completely finalized he was dating a woman (the woman he is getting married to this weekend) whom he knew growing up who had lost her husband several years before due to health reasons. His divorce took several years, demands, financial committments, splitting of assets, pettiness, etc. Now I don't fully agree with how it all went down with his previous wife but the marriage was done and over with, separation occurred, living in different residences long before the divorce was finalized.

I guess to me that's the grey area part due to legal requirements and other things that occur during the divorce process.

Cheat before you've separated? That's a different story.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Of course this is my opinion, but as children could be negatively impacted by just about any weird situation their parents go through, I would say throwing anything that could cause rockiness into the relationship is a no-go for me.

Not sure I've ever heard anyone mention monogamy in their vows, mostly just to love and to cherish.

There’s usually that part about “to forsake all others.”