Pregnacy/Labor pain!!!

[luna99]

bump!!! just in case anyone else would like to contribute!

 

[NY_MOM]

Does it hurt YES! especially if you have back labor. Is it worth it absolutely! Had my 1ST and only (so far) five years ago and the pain that I remember with great clarity fades away when she puts her arms around my neck or little hands on my face. Was in labor for 9 hrs...then was induced and remained in labor for 12 more hours..before they did a c-section. HAd 2 epidurals that did not work properly...went in for the c-section and could feel them cutting my flesh..so was completely put under, because the 2nd epidural didn't work either. Woke up kinda groggy but ok...stood up and sat down the same day, had some pain and discomfort when coughing, or getting to a standing position. That only lasted for about 2-3 days. Went home a day early from the hospital and was out shopping the day after coming home.

So is it the worst pain ever NO...Had gall stone attacks for almost a year beginning three months after DD was born and that is the worst pain ever. There is no medicine, no postion, no meditation, nothing that can help you get away from the pain. So that was actually the worst pain I ever had, and didn't gain a wonderful gift at the end, instead I lost my gall bladder eventually, and had to room one night in the hospital with a girl who was a pain in the A**, and rude as can be.

 

[juligrl]

I know it is different for different people and there is not a definitive answer for this.... but I'd love to hear different opinions on it.

Just how bad is the pain of childbirth? What would you compare it to in terms of pain? Can you get through the pain with breathing/mental techniques? Is it true that after you have your baby you forget the pain? and if you are answering this please tell us if you had drugs or a natural birth please... also any other information you'd like to give on the actual pain of child birth would be very appreciated.

My husband and I are planning on starting a family next spring, but honestly, over the last week or so I am just wanting to get pregnant and have a baby so bad! I don't have any kids yet so I can't even imagine what the pain of labor must be like. I'm lucky in that I never really have had bad cramps with my periods or anything like that...

anyway.. thanks in advance! I hope this ends up being a very interesting thread!

Childbirth is work. It's called "labor", not "picnic", for a reason. It's work of both the body and the mind. If you approach labor with the mindset that it's going to be the scariest/mostpainful thing ever then it will be. If you approach it with the idea that it is a natural process and your body knows how to do it, then you already have half the battle won.

For me labor was like intense, productive cramps. I've always gotten cramps and lower back pain, and it seems so silly cause I mean really - whats the point. There's nothing there to push out like in labor so really it's just meaningless, unproductive pain. With labor, the "cramps" come in waves and they are a good thing because it means that the life inside of you is making its way into the world with each one. Productive! Getting through the "pain" is very much a state of mind.

Don't forget that there are drugs out there to ease pain associated with labor. The proper attitude along with an epidural made for two very easy labors for me. My oldest DD was born after an 8 hour labor (6 in the hospital). The epidural had started to wear off by the time she eased her way into the world (born sunny-side-up), but it couldn't have been that bad since I really don't remember it! What I do remember is in the weeks following birth the ache in my pelvis - seriously I felt like my grandma for about 2-3 weeks after delivery. That all went away though and I did it again.

Second DD was born after just 4 hours of labor (3 in hospital) and I just barely had time for the epidural - 5-10 minutes from the time I got it until I started needing to push. I felt great, immediately after delivering her (sunny-side-up no less)! Seriously, I felt like I could go run a marathon! I never did have pain after DD#2. I would absolutely do it again!

All that said, every woman is different. Every baby is different. Every birth is different. Every child is worth it!

 

[Mouse7116]

Just thought I would chime in as well. Ds is now 7 weeks.

The best advice I got was from my doctor - just keep an open mind. I did not have the birth experience that I had always thought I would.

Remember too, knowledge is power. I always feel more at ease if I know what to expect so it's not such a shock.

That said, Ds was breech throughout my pregnancy. I opted to not do an external version as I wasn't comfortable with the idea of someone trying to manually manipulate him to turn over. We scheduled a c-section for 10/7 and my water broke on 10/1. I had been feeling bad about choosing his birthday so I'm glad that he was able to choose his own.

I'm also a freak about pain and needles and was very worried about having surgery, but things moved so fast that I didn't have time to think about it. They double checked to make sure that he was still breech and then proceeded to get me ready for surgery. I didn't have any labor - at least it wasn't at the point where I could really feel it and since he was breech my Dr. didn't want me to go into full blown labor so we had the c-section at the earliest opportunity.

I'm still amazed that I handled everything as well as I did and for me the c-section healing wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I think the biggest help what that I knew what to expect in terms of the surgery and the staff at the hospital was very supportive.

Ds also had to spend a week in NICU because of breathing issues and an increased white blood count and that was something I certainly wasn't prepared for.

Just keep an open mind and do what you feel is best for you. The internet has a wealth of information, but your doctor (or midwife) is there to help you and while I may have read things on the net, I talked to my dr about most everything. That's what they're there for.

Best of luck to you! Not everyone has a horror story and no one can tell you what your labor/delivery will be like. Just know that you can do it and the results are certainly worth it.

 

[Syrreal]

I wanted to add that an episiotomy doesn't have to be feared. DS was stuck (literally) and going into distress (his cord was also wrapped around his neck and preventing him from coming throught) and I ended up needing one. I didn't feel a thing and my Dr didn't even have time to put the scissors back before he was out. I was stitched up (didn't feel anything either) and I was up and about within 1/2 an hour (epidural was gone by then and I wasn't in any pain from anything). Afterwards I was meticulous about keeping stuff iced down there (I must have gone throught at least 15 of those ice pads in 2 days) and I honestly wouldn't even know I had been cut if I hadn't been there.
It wasn't in my plan, but it needed to be done and I'm no worse for the wear

 

[Terapin]

I had midwives with all three of my babies. My first I had a very long labour and used Nubain (a narcotic) at the very end for the last 2 hours. My son was over 10 lbs and I was really worn out. For that birth I was active and found that the pain was intense, but went away right after birth, for the most part. I laboured in water and that really helped.

My second was a home birth and I didn't have any pain relief. The labour part was quite painful, but got so relaxed that at the end I fell asleep in between contractions! Pushing was fast but the last part where her head was born was intensely, intensely painful, but very quick. Being at home was awesome.

My third was a home waterbirth. The labour was tiring and I couldn't wait for it to be over. I felt like I was hanging on by the end of my fingernails. The last part of the head birthing was unreal it was so painful. But it was totally worth it.

I wouldn't choose to have pain relief for a normal labour. Epidurals can be great but also carry risks. I liked being mobile during labour, not strapped to a monitor, with an IV and catheter, and in bed. In between the contractions there is generally no pain, you can catch your breath, and get relaxed for the next contraction.

I am a midwife and have attended 500+ births. I feel that most women can handle the pain of normal labour. Some choose not to and that's ok too. The range of experience seems to be from "it was really hard work" to "horrific pain". Having someone knowledgeable to help with the contractions, who supports you, and know how to provide labour support, can really help. Staying active, eating and drinking, and trying to just relax through the pain can help. Fear + pain = bad experience. Pain with a calm purpose is so much easier to get through!

So in sum, the pain can be very intense, but there are things you can do to help with the pain, and how you perceive the experience can really make a difference. If the labour becomes stalled or involves the baby being in a more difficult position, the pain can intensify and become unbearable and may require pain relief.

HTH!

 

[juligrl]

#2 - went with a midwife this time. Had a waterbirth. I studied hypobirthing and relaxation techniques prior to the birth, and hired a labor doula to help during the delivery. My labor was rather controlled. I was very good at relaxing - I had no idea I was even in labor for hours. My water did not break until I was 9+ cm (which may be why it was so easy to control pain). Got to the hospital at 7 cm. gave birth 2 hours later. I think I had extreme discomfort for about 30 mins and PAIN for about 10 mins. No drugs used at all.

I highlighted your sentance because that's what happened with me with my second DD too. I knew something wasn't quite right, kind of like BH, but DD wasn't due for another two weeks. There was grocery shopping, laundry and house cleaning to be done so a couple of BH were'n going to stop me (can we say "nesting")! All the same I did have my mom go with older DD and me to the grocery store that day "just in case".

I checked out by 10:35am (I kept the receipt as proof) and went home, cleaned, got lunch, did laundry and decided to lay down for a bit so the "BH" would stop since I was probably over-doing it. Within minutes of laying down I knew I had been having contractions all morning and they were getting stronger now. I checked into the hospital at 3 pm and DD was born a healthy 7lb. 13 oz. at 5:55pm. They broke my water for me when I was around 8cm, but until that point it was really just a matter of working through the contractions. As long as I was free to walk, rock, squat, whatever "pain" wasn't really an issue for me. I'd probably say 15-20 minutes of lots of discomfort spread out over a 2 hour period, but no "pain" for me since I had the benefit of an epidural.

The hardest part for me was sitting still while getting the epidural during a particularly intense contraction. Up until that point I had been moving through my contractions and coping with them that way.

 

[baloo's girl]

I was just posting this info somewhere else and I thought I'd include it in this thread. I read and loved all of these books:


The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
by Henci Goer

"In Henci Goer, thinking women have a champion, and maternity caregivers have a challenger. Henci has applied her impressive intellect, wisdom, writing skills, common sense, and wit to produce *The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth*. She analyzes and makes sense of a prodigious amount of recent obstetric research, boils it down, and summarizes its findings. And, on the basis of these findings, she makes practical recommendations for better births. Not one to pull the wool over anyone's eyes, Henci lets the reader in on her whole thinking process, providing scientific references, summaries of the articles, and logical recommendations--all in a highly readable, user-friendly format."

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
by Ina May Gaskin

Using history as her guide, nationally recognized midwife Gaskin explores what she hopes will be a renaissance in natural childbirth, something that she's been advocating since the mid-1970s. By focusing on how women of ancient civilizations and other modern peoples give birth, Gaskin puts our own hypersensitivities in perspective, uncovering a beautiful, sometimes orgasmic experience rather than a dreadful, painful one. Sure, pain is part of childbirth, but preparing for the pain in a realistic rather than sentimental way--whether giving birth at home or in a hospital--can be the key to a woman's ability to deal with it naturally. Within the pages of personal anecdotes, some touching, some startling, from Gaskin's patients and colleagues, every woman is sure to find something to relate to, whether or not she chooses to have a medicine-free labor. The helpful back matter features a glossary, a detailed resource list including advocacy groups and Web sites, and a bibliography that includes periodicals, rounding out an extremely comprehensive and up-to-date guide on the topic.

Mind over Labor: A Breakthrough Guide to Giving Birth
by Carl Jones

From Publishers Weekly
"This book will show you how to create the kind of birth you want," writes Jones, author of After the Baby Is Born, etc. He compares childbirth to lovemaking in terms of the potential joy for the woman and claims that the key to a "safe, happy birth" is mental imagerythe art of creating vivid pictures in the mind to help the woman "surrender" to the "pleasure" of childbirth. Mental-imagery exercises include thinking of a "Special Place," such as a favorite beach, or envisioning the child in the womb and asking "what he or she needs."


Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation
by Pam England

From Library Journal
England, a registered nurse and certified nurse midwife, developed the "birthing from within" approach in a series of birthing classes to help mothers reclaim and celebrate the spiritual, emotional, and psychological aspects of birth as a rite of passage. Her book is a collection of methods that have been used for class participants. England is quick to point out that this "is not a script or a rigid method," and she encourages parents and professionals to use those portions that are helpful. There are numerous exercises and activities to help parents, especially mothers, be in contact with their bodies and feelings. The author recommends throughout that the mother and her healthcare professional work together, giving numerous suggestions for making this a successful partnership. England has done a fair amount of research and does include numerous references; at the same time, she makes it a very personal book. It will appeal especially to patrons interested in alternative birthing methods.

The Birth Book, by Bill and Martha Sears

The Birth Partner, by Penny Simkin- This book is primary focused on preparing to help a woman through childbirth. It's a great read for both expecting mothers and their partners. My husband also enjoyed this book.

 

[emh1129]

Those are all fantastic books. Definitely worth the investment so that you can read them more than once and highlight.

 

[northriver]

I'm scared of needles, and yes I had two completely natural childbirths, not even the "tap" (whatever you call that thing) for the IV 'just in case'.

Yes it hurts. Yes, obviously I was able to get through it both times and didn't want/need medical pain relief either time. My first labor was 12 hours from the first contractions - not 12 hours of hard labor. That was at a conventional and they pretty much made me lay flat on my back the whole labor and it really sucked. Second time I was at a hospital but had my midwife with me through the labor, it was 7 hours of labor and I was at the hospital for 3 hours of the labor. I was able to walk around, the labor in the bath until I was pretty much fully dialated. The end is really intense.

With my second birth I had retained placenta after delivery, followed by really bad bleeding, so they were pounding on my abdomen to stop the bleeding. That was MUCH more painful than the labor itself - it was AWFUL! I'm glad they stopped the bleeding - don't get me wrong about that.

I'm just saying in comparison, there is much worse pain that childbirth.

Childbirth is pain with a purpose.

My 'mantra' is "baby come down" and I just repeat that to myself over and over and over and try to visualize the baby coming down the birth canal. Personally, I like to labor standing and I'm sure I'd prefer to deliver standing up. The whole laying on your back think just seems really counter productive, imo.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I have delivered 1 child completely natural, 1 with IV medicine and 2 with epidurals.

My oldest dd24 was delivered naturally because they waited too long to give me an epidural (couldn't get hold of my doctor who was at a basketball game). There were complications and she ended up being forcep delivered. Honestly, I don't remember the pain being that bad with her delilvery. Now with her I was sore for weeks because of the tearing with the forceps and the large number of stitches that were used. My bladder was also bruised from the doctor emptying it after the first push.

I had an epidural with my ds7. I'm telling you the pain I had when the guy put the epidural in was terrible - I really think he did something wrong. I had a softball size bruise on my back for weeks. I felt nothing though other than some pressure with his delivery.

I delivered a stillborn baby girl at 21 weeks. I only had to dialate to 6 cm because she was so small. I opted out of the epidural (labor was induced), but was given an IV loopy drug just before delivery. I guess they figured that would numb the emotional pain a bit.

I also had an epidural with my youngest dd almost 5 (11 months after the stillborn). The epidural didn't hurt at all this time and the labor was painless. However, when it came time to deliver, we discovered that the epidural had numbed everything from my hips down with the exception of the area she was coming through. They offered additional drugs at that point and I declined.

As for remembering the pain afterwards, I think we remember that it hurt but not the intensity of it. And it's all worth it as you hold your baby in your arms.

 

[Madzac]

Yes it hurts, but it is totally and completely worth it and i would do it again in a heartbeat!!!

The best advice I can give as an FP who used to deliver babies, is to go in with an open mind. If you want to go drug free, great. Make your preferences known, talk with your doctor, your nurses, your husband. And have an open mind that it is ok if you get to a point and feel like you need something. I had hoped to go natural the first time and I came in with water broken and meconium at only 2cm and had to be in bed on monitors. There was no way I could do it when I couldnt move around. However, if you come in 6cm and doing ok, you may be just fine.

Also labor is different for everyone. I had one patient I delievered three babies for who came in 9-10cm each time with minimal pain. Others are in misery at 2cm. I think it depends on many things, including baby's position, strenth of contractions, length of labor. I have certainly seen women who didnt want anything end up getting an epidural and being more relaxed and able to dilate and enjoy the birth. Its impossible to know in advance how things will be for you until you get there.

Good luck! Pregnancy and birth are so amazing!!! I love labor and delivery... and seeing that newborn you created is just indescribable. Enjoy!

 

[tinkerlisa]

It was the worst pain of my life!! The first time, I went 7 hours with nothing before I gave in to an epidural!
The second time, I said as soon as you can give me an epidural, I WANT IT!!! Unfortunatly, It only took on the right side and it was still painful. But not as bad if I went without it!
I feel that the pushing made the labor pains seem less painful. Some people I know say that the pushing hurt worse. I think it depends on the person. I also know people that had nothing and said their labor was great and not very painful at all(lucky them!)
How you want your labor to go is up to you. You have gotten some good advice here. Just make sure you do your research.
The pain is worth it though. To see that baby's face is priceless.
One thing I did not do with my first that I wish I had was request the mirror. I did it with my second and it may sound gross but it was so cool seeing him come out of me!
Lots of luck to you and your husband!

 

[crewriam816]

I only had my daughter a week ago, but I must say that mine is an actual horror story, that doesn't happen very often. It's just who I am...so please dont think this is how your labor will go...
I went into labor a 4am. Went to the hospital at 12 (after my boyfriend came home...working only 4 hours in his 12 hr shift). Got there, the pain wasnt that bad...but I didnt have much to compare it to except the pain in my back from the gall stones. So i rated it a 7, because compared to that...thats how it felt. Really, it was probably only a 3. My water broke at 1230, after they checked me. I wanted to do a water birth, so I rejected an epideral. Getting no sleep, about 9am they started me on pitocin to kick up the contractions since I wasn't dialting anymore (I was dialted to 3 the friday before...it was tuesday and she was a week late.) I was 100% effaced though. So I was on pitocin until about 400, when I was 5cm. I had 4 iv tried, because 2 swelled so back they couldnt place it in all the way, and the third fell out when I got in the tub. (STILL ALL NATURAL!! 36 hours so far!) Then they put the internal baby moniter and the internal contraction moniter in because they kept losing the HB and wanted to check how strong my contractions were. They were so strong that the doctor and nurses were surprised I still had my cool. But not for long. By 430 i was screaming and TRYING to breath. The pitocin was hurting me, my hands were hurting, my back was hurting (all back labor.) I was EXHAUSTED! The nurses were pushing me to get an epideral. They were worried about me, and the baby. My water had been broken for over 24 hours. So I gave in. The minute they put the medication on, I dozed off. I woke up an 1hr 1/2 later, they checked me...only 7cm. They said at 7pm if im not progressed any further, they will have to do a c-section. At that point I was ready to just get it done and over with. That was also when my ediperal stopped working and the anethesiologist had to come fix it. 7 they checked me, 8.5 cm. 745, 9.5 cm! They said within the half hour I should be able to push...810...I was pushing. She was born at 9:02pm...and boy did it HURT. Felt like I was on fire.
Then the placenta wouldnt come out, so they had to physically get it out, and the umbilical cord detached from it, and I hemoragged. So...I'll never forget the pain, but after 41 hours, the pain I endured...was all worth it. And i only came out with 2 stitches!! And thats because her nails are super long and she scratched me on the way out (quite literally...) Otherwise...my little angel is precious and though I wish I had a smoother shorter labor (average is 14-20 on the first...) I wouldnt trade it for the world.

 

[ChrisandDon'sMommy]

It was the worst pain I've ever experienced. But, I went through it twice, so really how bad can it be?

I used two epidurals woohoo, so I managed through it all. I'm going for my third and final shot in two-three years.

The first time was my longest and most painful (obviously). By my second, my labor was shorter. Both times my water was broken for me. I also delivered both of my big-headed sons with vacuum extraction, lol! Good times.

 

[mejkjj97]

I only had my daughter a week ago,

Congratulations!! She is beautiful.

 

[MommyBryn]

My first baby was induced at home (MW) by AROM. That was my first mistake. BAAAAAD contractions, felt like screws being drilled into my hips and lower back (even though she was presenting perfectly). They came one after another with no break. After 9 hours I chose to go to the hospital for an epidural. (much to my own dismay- I was pretty set on not getting an epi because I don't like the side effects, especially since BF'ing is so important to me, but mostly because it's often the beginning of the "cascade of interventions") While waiting I had nubain but it didn't do a thing other than make me exhausted. Once the anesthesiologist showed up and gave me the epi, I didn't feel much at all after that, until she was crowning...then I sure as heck felt the "ring of fire."

So here comes baby #2, and I knew I wanted a homebirth this time (wanted one last time but it woud have cost me more than a hospital birth, and finances were- and are still- pretty much our deciding factor). So I knew I would not be induced. I prayed to be able to have an unassisted homebirth, and prepared for that (I'm in a pretty ideal situation for it as it is), and it worked out that way. I was so comfortable at home, labor started naturally, I labored for 5 hours without changing position (sat on an exercise ball) and once I did my water broke that instant and she was out 2 1/2 minutes and 2 effortless pushes later. It was SO much easier than my first birth! I would say the pain level at it's peak reached MAYBE a 5 on a scale of 1-10 (while I'd rate my first at a constnt 9/10).

The environment and mindset made a world of a difference for me. Of course having my waters intact for the majority of my labor made the MOST difference, no doubt. God willing, I will never birth in a hospital again. I know some women require the constant monitoring and being on someone else's clock, but that's just not for me.

 

[MommyBryn]

Then the placenta wouldnt come out

Congrats on your new little one!! Sorry it was so rough. Can I ask, how long did they allow for the placenta to be delivered before they decided to go get it?

 

[graygables]

4 DDs, 1st I had an epidural for part, but back then, they let it wear off for pushing for 1st time mothers. Gee. Thanks. 2 pushes and that baby was OUT. The doc had to deliver her in his stocking feet (no shoes without covers in the room). That's what you get, Doctor Icky Socks, for not believing me when I say NOW.

DD2 was 9.5 lbs, so we did a full-blown epidural which wound up being a very good thing for me b/c she broke my tailbone and her collarbone being born.

DD3 was a 38 week induction to avoid the whole broken bone thing. I had an epidural b/c of the pit-drip, but she was sunny side up the whole time and it was incredibly painful back labor, despite the epidural.

DD4 was another 9.5 lber. Another one where I started with the epidural, but when it wore off, things were in such a hurry there was no time to freshen it up again. Yee-owch. The lovely part about her delivery is that an hour after she was born, I was sorta walking a mile-long corridor, clutching the back of my hospital gown trying to get to my room (no wheelchairs), then spent the next 6 hours with no sleep and no water except from the bathroom faucet b/c the nurses only came in once to take DD for shots and never brought me anything to eat or drink (not even ice, and I buzzed!). I was in the hospital 14 hours admission to discharge and refused to pay the bill when it arrived. The administrators agreed with me and cancelled it.

The worst pain EVER, though was pelvic inflammatory disease brought on by my idiot ex giving me chlamydia. yeah, nice. That pain was SO intense, accompanied with vomiting, I literally wanted to die.

 

[crewriam816]

Congrats on your new little one!! Sorry it was so rough. Can I ask, how long did they allow for the placenta to be delivered before they decided to go get it?

They were trying the entire time, by pushing on my stomach and having me push. That was about 15 minutes. After the umbilical cord popped off thats when they tried to forceps but eventually had to remove it by hand...all in all about a half hour to 45 minutes, but like i said i was also hemragging so they had to worry about both.