Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[Judique]

Good windy morning. Isn't it supposed to be the calm after the storm? The winds have started and will continue until 5, with gusts up to 50 mph. Thanks to the rain, at least most of what I hadn't shoveled yesterday has disappeared from the driveway. We didn't get any notice of trash not being picked up today, so I leveled one of the snow piles at the end of the driveway and put the bags on top of it.

Going to go grocery shopping today, Summer is going with me. She called me yesterday and spent almost an hour telling me about Gracie's issues in school, to ask my opinion on if I thought she was overreacting (I don't, I would be doing the same thing). She had gone out with a sophomore (football player) for a little while last year. After they broke up, he started bullying her (which is odd, because he himself was badly bullied when he was overweight. Now that same boy is bullying Gracie, and has been for months. The school won't do anything about it. Last week, In front of a classroom full of students he told her he wished she would either kill herself or just die. Gracie reported it to the school, as did Summer, and once again, the school says they can't do anything about it. That it's a 'he said she said' situation. Lily 9Gracie's older sister, showed Summer texts from other kids as proof (including this boys girfriend), stating that he did say it and they heard it. Summer wrote a letter and brought it into school with copies of those messages. She's giving them until Friday to do something about this kid for harassment, and then taking it to the superintendent if nothing is done. This is going past bullying now.

@Snowysmom --That's terrible about the water issue

@bobbiwoz --I'm sorry to hear about your fall. I hope the tests lead to some resolution for you.

Have a good day everyone.

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Maryland public schools have a policy regarding bullying, forms to fill out and corrective actions to follow, which include phone calls to the parent, conferences with both parties and corrective action that can be taken that include warnings to the alleged bully.

Bullying is serious. It should not be taken lightly or brushed off. It should be nipped in the bud and can be if actions are taken early. Bullying can also come from staff members who belittle the bullied person by not taking the complaint seriously and therefore sending a message that this is okay.

It's particularly concerning that it's happening at the high school level age group that I think I remember Gracie being in. After looking at some statistics for Allegany County (?) I see small numbers, which could be a result of smaller student enrollment or lack of school reporting which I believe they have been mandated to do for quite a few years now.

 

[lynxstch]

Maryland public schools have a policy regarding bullying, forms to fill out and corrective actions to follow, which include phone calls to the parent, conferences with both parties and corrective action that can be taken that include warnings to the alleged bully.

Bullying is serious. It should not be taken lightly or brushed off. It should be nipped in the bud and can be if actions are taken early. Bullying can also come from staff members who belittle the bullied person by not taking the complaint seriously and therefore sending a message that this is okay.

It's particularly concerning that it's happening at the high school level age group that I think I remember Gracie being in. After looking at some statistics for Allegany County (?) I see small numbers, which could be a result of smaller student enrollment or lack of school reporting which I believe they have been mandated to do for quite a few years now.

It's taken very seriously in MD, but they live in WV, where it's not taken anywhere near as seriously as it should be. Gracie is a sophomore, as is this boy. This mother is apparently a terror, and she intimidates the school. Her precious son would never do anything like that. Summer said if she gets nowhere with the school system, then it's time to take it higher up in the system. Gracie already has enough problems, she doesn't need this kind of thing to be happening. This is going beyond bullying and turning into harassment. If it doesn't stop, he's going to keep doing it, (he's done it to other girls, and nothing has been done.). One of those girls could end up taking what he says seriously and hurt themselves, and no one wants that to happen.

 

[tazdev3225]

@Snowysmom - Don't beat yourself up over the condo and what you should have done. You are there so now do what you are doing and keep calling and keep records of everything.

@bobbiwoz - sorry you fell but happy they are trying to get to the cause of the issue. I fell in the shower 4 years ago, time flies, and cracked a couple of ribs in my back. That and I had what I think may have been Covid before they knew what it was. The coughing was the worst part because the ribs were in my back and hard to hold when I coughed. My fall was from the dog chasing the cat into the bathroom. I converted my tub to a shower for safety reasons more for my husband than me, but i am getting older so that factored into it also.

@lynxstch - I am so sorry Grace is going through that. My granddaughter Crystal has been bullied and I know what the fight is. The dean of students actually said that the girls doing it were in the Golden Attitude Club, they would never do that. We fought the whole school year. Then I found out the principal was never informed even though we went to the school multiple times. The homeroom teacher finally realized how serious it was when crystal started sobbing uncontrollable and my daughter flipped out. The worst part is the one girl was the daughter of my DIL's best friend and my DIL took her side and my son did nothing. I was furious and I still get angry at my son and DIL over it. I would keep a close tab on Grace, we did with Crystal, because bullying can lead to behaviors that include suicide. Not trying to scare you but there are statistics to back it up. That was one of the reasons I gave Crystal my old camera and we started going on photo safaris. She knew I was there and she could always come to me no matter what. Thankfully she has gained a bit more confidence in herself. You are all in my prayers that something is done to this bully and his mother for defending such outrageous behavior.

 

[Judique]

It's taken very seriously in MD, but they live in WV, where it's not taken anywhere near as seriously as it should be. Gracie is a sophomore, as is this boy. This mother is apparently a terror, and she intimidates the school. Her precious son would never do anything like that. Summer said if she gets nowhere with the school system, then it's time to take it higher up in the system. Gracie already has enough problems, she doesn't need this kind of thing to be happening. This is going beyond bullying and turning into harassment. If it doesn't stop, he's going to keep doing it, (he's done it to other girls, and nothing has been done.). One of those girls could end up taking what he says seriously and hurt themselves, and no one wants that to happen.

That's why I put a question mark after Allegany as I wasn't sure if she was in Maryland. And yes, anything could happen.

You may have read this already. These statutes all relate to the 'no child left behind' federal act. The system gets support (money) for implementing these procedures.

I also found an old article where WV is ranked 3rd worst for this.

This is a copy of the code from 2011. I didn't look for an updated copy, mostly because this looks like the wording and procedure I've seen before and it probably hasn't changed. It sounds great if it actually happens when a report is made.

West Virginia Code 18-2C-3. Policy prohibiting harassment intimidation or bullying.​

(a) Each county board shall establish a policy prohibiting harassment, intimidation or bullying. Each county board has control over the content of its policy as long as the policy contains, at a minimum, the requirements of subdivision (b) of this section. The policy shall be adopted through a process that includes representation of parents or guardians, school employees, school volunteers, students and community members.
(b) Each county board policy shall, at a minimum, include the following components:

• (1) A statement prohibiting harassment, intimidation or bullying of any student on school property, a school bus, at a school bus stop or at school sponsored events;
• (2) A definition of harassment, intimidation or bullying no less inclusive than that in section two [§18-2C-2] of this article;
• (3) A procedure for reporting prohibited incidents;
• (4) A requirement that school personnel report prohibited incidents of which they are aware;
• (5) A requirement that parents or guardians of any student involved in an incident prohibited pursuant to this article be notified;
• (6) A procedure for documenting any prohibited incident that is reported;
• (7) A procedure for responding to and investigating any reported incident;
• (8) A strategy for protecting a victim from additional harassment, intimidation or bullying, and from retaliation following a report;
• (9) A disciplinary procedure for any student guilty of harassment, intimidation or bullying;
• (10) A requirement that any information relating to a reported incident is confidential, and exempt from disclosure under the provisions of chapter twenty-nine-b [§§29B-1-1 et seq.] of this code; and
• (11) A requirement that each county board shall input into the uniform integrated regional computer information system (commonly known as the West Virginia Education Information System) described in section twenty-six [§18-2-26], article two of this chapter, and compile an annual report regarding the means of harassment, intimidation or bullying that have been reported to them, and the reasons therefor, if known. The West Virginia Department of Education shall compile the information and report it annually beginning July 1, 2012, to the Legislative Oversight Committee on Education Accountability.

(c) Each county board shall adopt the policy and submit a copy to the State Superintendent of Schools by December 1, 2011.
(d) To assist county boards in developing their policies, the West Virginia Department of Education shall develop a model policy applicable to grades kindergarten through twelfth. The model policy shall be issued by September 1, 2011.
(e) Notice of the county board's policy shall appear in any student handbook, and in any county board publication that sets forth the comprehensive rules, procedures and Standard of conduct for the school.
POLICY TYPE
Statute
SOURCE
West Viriginia Code

 

[Judique]

Sorry to hear about your fall, but glad you aren't feeling to bad. That's great they can get you into the MRI sooner.

Sounds like your documenting everything is the way to go.

It's still windy here as well. Our tides were super high, highest we've ever seen at our place. Sounds like Summer is on the right track - although- and I'm not a shrinking violet so maybe it's just me - I would at this point pepper everyone with a copy of that letter and not wait till Friday. Copy her teachers, copy the county school superintendent, whomever heads the PTA, the State superintendent and her local State Reps. & Senators. Copy them all on the letter and include the fact that she has brought this up multiple times (and on what dates and to whom she spoke to) with no resolution. Higher Ups will be pissed she's calling them all out and deal with it so she stops making noise. Squeaky wheel and all that.....

Documentation is key. I wonder if anyone at the school has ever submitted a written report?

 

[PollyannaMom]

This is going beyond bullying and turning into harassment. If it doesn't stop, he's going to keep doing it, (he's done it to other girls, and nothing has been done.). One of those girls could end up taking what he says seriously and hurt themselves, and no one wants that to happen.

Exactly! My DS was bullied but downplayed it because he didn't think the school would really do anything. Keep pushing so Gracie feels heard and other kids see that the bully will get caught!

 

[PollyannaMom]

Our weather is crazy. - It rained all night and melted the snow. The sun came out briefly, and now it's raining again and I actually heard thunder!

 

[easyas123]

Documentation is key. I wonder if anyone at the school has ever submitted a written report?

You are so right, it's amazing who/what you can correct when you can back it up.

 

[lynxstch]

@Snowysmom - Don't beat yourself up over the condo and what you should have done. You are there so now do what you are doing and keep calling and keep records of everything.

@bobbiwoz - sorry you fell but happy they are trying to get to the cause of the issue. I fell in the shower 4 years ago, time flies, and cracked a couple of ribs in my back. That and I had what I think may have been Covid before they knew what it was. The coughing was the worst part because the ribs were in my back and hard to hold when I coughed. My fall was from the dog chasing the cat into the bathroom. I converted my tub to a shower for safety reasons more for my husband than me, but i am getting older so that factored into it also.

@lynxstch - I am so sorry Grace is going through that. My granddaughter Crystal has been bullied and I know what the fight is. The dean of students actually said that the girls doing it were in the Golden Attitude Club, they would never do that. We fought the whole school year. Then I found out the principal was never informed even though we went to the school multiple times. The homeroom teacher finally realized how serious it was when crystal started sobbing uncontrollable and my daughter flipped out. The worst part is the one girl was the daughter of my DIL's best friend and my DIL took her side and my son did nothing. I was furious and I still get angry at my son and DIL over it. I would keep a close tab on Grace, we did with Crystal, because bullying can lead to behaviors that include suicide. Not trying to scare you but there are statistics to back it up. That was one of the reasons I gave Crystal my old camera and we started going on photo safaris. She knew I was there and she could always come to me no matter what. Thankfully she has gained a bit more confidence in herself. You are all in my prayers that something is done to this bully and his mother for defending such outrageous behavior.

Gracie's older sister Lily goes to the same school. She's a senior. She's the one who found out what was going on. She called Summer and said Gracie had come to her in the hall sobbing. She took Gracie directly to the principal's office where they sat and waited for Summer. That's where the principal said it was 'he said she said'. At that point the boy's girlfriend hadn't sent Lily the text. Later that day she sent it to her. That's when Summer wrote the letter and made copies of the texts. She put them each on a separate piece of paper and enlarged them so there was no doubt. Of course there was no school Saturday or Sunday, and no school yesterday because of the storm, so Summer was waiting for today to see what happens before she goes farther. I told her not to wait until Friday. They've been told of the problem before, this guy has said multiple things to Gracie, calling her out in the hallways so that others started calling her the same name. This is at the point where it could get dangerous. Gracie's had issues in the past because of her weight, and has said she'd rather be dead than be bullied like that. This has to be taken seriously before her mental state gets any worse.

 

[Judique]

Our weather is crazy. - It rained all night and melted the snow. The sun came out briefly, and now it's raining again and I actually heard thunder!

We had rain most of the night as well. It stopped and then started up again raining really hard, then stopped again.

Today is dry and sunny, up to 50 degrees, but cold night coming near freezing. Tomorrow the same, then back to rain on Friday. Tomorrow is rotate the tires morning, at Costco. I'm making my list so I can shop while they do it.

 

[Snowysmom]

I am glad Summer is really taking the bullying seriously and will take care of it for Gracie. Bullying is not to be tolerated. Schools are responsible for safety of the students and that includes stopping the bullying. Summer needs to escalate it to the superintendent so they know too.

The sun is out here and the snow melting. I sent the pics to the punch list. Also this morning the foreman came by to look at my basement. I told him I would show him Niagara Falls. He took a look and saw how bad it is. At this point it isn't flooding the whole basement but coming down the walls from 3 of the windows wells and making puddles nearby. He said he is meeting with a basement specialist today. I told him it has to be fixed and he totally agrees but wants the specialist to take a look and see what he thinks needs to be done. My neighbor texted to ask if I had water and I said of course! She had some water and Brian looked at her basement too. He told me the problem is the area is flat. Well, they should have taken that into consideration when building. My neighbor took out her dog and both of them sank into the muck out back. I told her to take pics and send them along. She is going to. Another issue to be fixed. She said that we should be enjoying our brand new homes but instead are dealing with so much crap. I am actually making long term plans to move a few years down the road., just long enough to establish this as a long term residence. Then I will find a place on a high hill with no water around.

 

[Judique]

Gracie's older sister Lily goes to the same school. She's a senior. She's the one who found out what was going on. She called Summer and said Gracie had come to her in the hall sobbing. She took Gracie directly to the principal's office where they sat and waited for Summer. That's where the principal said it was 'he said she said'. At that point the boy's girlfriend hadn't sent Lily the text. Later that day she sent it to her. That's when Summer wrote the letter and made copies of the texts. She put them each on a separate piece of paper and enlarged them so there was no doubt. Of course there was no school Saturday or Sunday, and no school yesterday because of the storm, so Summer was waiting for today to see what happens before she goes farther. I told her not to wait until Friday. They've been told of the problem before, this guy has said multiple things to Gracie, calling her out in the hallways so that others started calling her the same name. This is at the point where it could get dangerous. Gracie's had issues in the past because of her weight, and has said she'd rather be dead than be bullied like that. This has to be taken seriously before her mental state gets any worse.

I feel bad for Gracie!
My son had a tall and thin problem while in school. He's now 6'3", and about 210, but back then it was 6' something and 110, so he got called names also. On one occasion he punched a kid out.

Result was in school detention. I instead, detained him at home for the week, making sure he had his classwork to do, in addition to lots of chores. Never got called back to that school again.

 

[Judique]

I am glad Summer is really taking the bullying seriously and will take care of it for Gracie. Bullying is not to be tolerated. Schools are responsible for safety of the students and that includes stopping the bullying. Summer needs to escalate it to the superintendent so they know too.

The sun is out here and the snow melting. I sent the pics to the punch list. Also this morning the foreman came by to look at my basement. I told him I would show him Niagara Falls. He took a look and saw how bad it is. At this point it isn't flooding the whole basement but coming down the walls from 3 of the windows wells and making puddles nearby. He said he is meeting with a basement specialist today. I told him it has to be fixed and he totally agrees but wants the specialist to take a look and see what he thinks needs to be done. My neighbor texted to ask if I had water and I said of course! She had some water and Brian looked at her basement too. He told me the problem is the area is flat. Well, they should have taken that into consideration when building. My neighbor took out her dog and both of them sank into the muck out back. I told her to take pics and send them along. She is going to. Another issue to be fixed. She said that we should be enjoying our brand new homes but instead are dealing with so much crap. I am actually making long term plans to move a few years down the road., just long enough to establish this as a long term residence. Then I will find a place on a high hill with no water around.

It's terrible you have to go through this in a new home! I'm wondering who in the city/county issued the building permits? And where the inspectors were as the buildings were being erected?

Is there an existing exterior french drain?

One of my friends hired a company to do a covered patio. The company closed it in without allowing the county to inspect. It became a major issue. Part of the work had to be taken apart so that the inspector could visually see if hurricane hangers had been installed. It finally got resolved, but was a minor nightmare for my friend who at the time didn't even know what a hurricane hanger was.

 

[Snowysmom]

I don't think the builder took the ground water issue seriously enough. But, next week I will be the proud owner of a brand new sump pump I need to be sure it has battery backup. And they will look to see how to fix the window well issues. The company they use have great reviews, all 5 star and into the hundreds so I feel good about that. I suspect I will end up with french drains in the basement and drains in the window wells to drain into those french drains or exterior ones that the foreman claims are there. I at least feel like we are making some progress. A neighbor 2 condos down is also getting a sump pump and may also have to be upgraded to french drains. I don't want any one else to have issues but it is kind of comforting to know that I am not the only one. I also suspect there are others as I have heard people mention having water in their basements. Next up to fight for, taking care of the mucky soggy ground outside the back. My neighbor and I are together on this one. It is nice to have help in the fight.

 

[SpaceMan5]

Jacob has started his training to get his CDL license through his work. This week was all classroom work, next week starts the driving portion, this will last for the rest of the month. He's pretty excited.

That's good news. CDL drivers are in such high demand. If Jacob were to leave his current job down the road he would have his pick of jobs.

 

[lynxstch]

I took my time shopping and then walked through the mall. It's been ages since I was in there. It's not really much of a mall anymore. We went from full sun and 44 degrees, back to gray skies, and some light rain. The winds aren't as bad as they were, but I have a lot of downed branches to pick up. A huge bang scared me and the cats this morning. A big branch broke off the walnut tree and landed on the roof. Now I'm going to have to have someone get up there on a ladder when it's nice out and take it off of there. That tree is first on my list to get taken care of in the Spring.

Everything is scanned and put away. Going to sit and relax for awhile before dinner.

Have a nice evening

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Later first post from me with extra love! Dear Lynn, bullying indeed is simply cruel. I was bullied in school for reasons such as my home life and due to TMJ (which I had no clue was TMJ until 2009) how I sometimes spoke. Not a positive experience at all. Breaks my heart all-around that children (and sadly some adults) choose to bully (no excuse at all) just so sad that they themselves possibly don't feel valued and worse that in anger or whatever some people choose to lash out at others. To me, often, that is how abuse often begins too. Been there as well. Many prayers all-around. PM me if either or both girls might enjoy some mail from LA.

Snowy and health all around extra to both of you with great love.

Judique, Easyas, PollyannaMom, and Taz, love your wise words to Lynn, thank you for sharing. Of course, it goes without saying you know how sorry I am to hear kiddos in your family were bullied

Footballmouse and Pea, health prayers to both of you and your families extra including, of course, Toto, that is for sure.

Luckyrabbit and SpaceMan, always a blessing to see posts from both of you.

Happy Wednesday afternoon dear friends with love always.

 

[dazedx3]

Bobbiwoz…. Sorry to hear about your fall, I hope they can identify the reason and there is an easy solution.

Snowy…. It seems like it never ends. I pray they will soon find a fix for all your basement issues.

We ended up with 6 inches of snow. I plowed this morning and I didn’t wreck anything so I take that as a win. Another inch or two expected tonight and then another big one on Friday. I went to lunch with a few people from my grief share group today. There was lots of talk about everyone’s holiday. We all agreed the time after was hard, the time after everyone leaves.

 

[Judique]

Bobbiwoz…. Sorry to hear about your fall, I hope they can identify the reason and there is an easy solution.

Snowy…. It seems like it never ends. I pray they will soon find a fix for all your basement issues.

We ended up with 6 inches of snow. I plowed this morning and I didn’t wreck anything so I take that as a win. Another inch or two expected tonight and then another big one on Friday. I went to lunch with a few people from my grief share group today. There was lots of talk about everyone’s holiday. We all agreed the time after was hard, the time after everyone leaves.

That's why I'm so grateful to have my DD here.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Dazed

God Bless your DD, dear Judique!