Question for anyone taking Valium or Xanax..

[kimblebee]

As a mom of a 17-yo, I would probably be nervous about this too. I'm not sure where "out there" is, and it really doesn't matter, but if I were you, I'd keep some money back in case she changes her mind and wants to come back home, at least for the first year or so. I don't mean to sound negative, I don't know anything about you or your daughter, but this could be one of those things they think is a great idea and then find out they it isn't all it was cracked up to be.

Out there is B.C., three provinces from us in Manitoba. Yes, I will have money aside in case there’s an emergency and she needs to get home or I need to get out there.

My brothers girlfriends brother lives in the same city as she is moving to and also some cousins will be spending the winter a few hours from her so if she’s being rushed to the hospital or something (I don’t even want to think about that) there can be someone with her until I get there.

I want her to have her best life possible and if that means she lives out there, then so be it. I’ve always wanted to go whale watching

 

[Floridaman999]

Out there is B.C., three provinces from us in Manitoba. Yes, I will have money aside in case there’s an emergency and she needs to get home or I need to get out there.

My brothers girlfriends brother lives in the same city as she is moving to and also some cousins will be spending the winter a few hours from her so if she’s being rushed to the hospital or something (I don’t even want to think about that) there can be someone with her until I get there.

I want her to have her best life possible and if that means she lives out there, then so be it. I’ve always wanted to go whale watching

There ya go finding the positive already.

 

[LilyWDW]

My Xanax is for nights like tonight where my brain wants to play "think about how your dad passed away alone at his house" and "feel guilty because you were not there for him". THAT is why I take it some nights because my brain gets stuck on these things causing panic attacks and anxiety to the point I want to puke and can't sleep. At one point after my dad died I did not sleep for nearly 3 days. I would drift off for 15 mins or so then jolt awake again.

So it has its uses and anyone who says it doesn't needs to do their homework. Sometimes these meds can save someone's life.

 

[nancygirl1]

My twins left for college when they were 17. My oldest had already left. He, too was 17 when he left! Leading up to the twins leaving I had to remind myself constantly to live in the moment and not obsess over their leaving. I didn't want to ruin the time we had before they left. My mind would go every where and I'd have to stop myself from getting lost in the turmoil of emotions. I did have anti-anxiety med, lorazepam for those times I needed help with my anxiety. I used it very little, but it was helpful sometimes just to know it was there if I needed it.

After they left was when I did my crying. They were only 17 and I felt like I hadn't had enough time with them! I wasn't ready for it all to be over. I knew that life would never be the same. I had a difficult time, but eventually I had to come to terms with my new normal. I felt lost. My identity as a mother was turned upside down & I had to figure out who I was again. It was a struggle, but eventually we all settled into our new normal. It was strange to not have my days revolving around kids. I eventually figured it out.

It's not a loss that goes away when they walk out the door. It's a process and only you know what will help you & work best for you.

The CBD oil works great for my anxiety. I don't smoke marijuana because I don't like the way it makes me feel. There is no high with the CBD oil & it doesn't make me tired. If you get the edibles, you're still consuming a product with THC in it. Edibles can be more intense than smoking. If you can, try the CBD oil.

 

[BLAZEY]

Out there is B.C., three provinces from us in Manitoba. Yes, I will have money aside in case there’s an emergency and she needs to get home or I need to get out there.

My brothers girlfriends brother lives in the same city as she is moving to and also some cousins will be spending the winter a few hours from her so if she’s being rushed to the hospital or something (I don’t even want to think about that) there can be someone with her until I get there.

I want her to have her best life possible and if that means she lives out there, then so be it. I’ve always wanted to go whale watching

Where in BC is she moving to? (I'm in Victoria) If I can be of any help with information I'd be glad to share. My younger sister was in her early 20's when she moved to Sydney Australia for school. To say she missed home was an understatement. DH & I bought mum a video camera for computer so they could Skype as it was free compared to the cost or calling. They had a Skype dates at set time each week. Mum was home as she hasn't had to work since I was born, so sis could call anytime and had a good chance of getting her. may be you could do something similar?

 

[Lori74]

sending you good thoughts today kim!

 

[cabanafrau]

To be frank the idea that this request would even be entertained, let alone accepted by a medical doctor today floors me. The reasoning by OP about the "need" for these meds and the bristling and rationalization about addiction is frightening to me. I don't say these things as a criticism of OP, but as a concern when someone is completely oblivious to the danger they're ready to eagerly embrace.

Benzos have their legitimate uses. It doesn't take much for legitimate usage to stray out of the lines and become full on dependency. I cannot even begin to count the people I've seen who've made a complete wreckage strewn disaster out of their lives because they're locked in the grip of benzos.

Nope, I cannot in good conscience read OP's comments without speaking up. You flat out admitted you want to take these "not to feel these feelings" of sadness about your daughter moving. Quite frankly anyone with any experience of addictive personalities can see the danger signs flashing in those words and this line of thinking. They may not be welcome comments, but they are offered with the very best wishes for OP.

 

[kimblebee]

To be frank the idea that this request would even be entertained, let alone accepted by a medical doctor today floors me. The reasoning by OP about the "need" for these meds and the bristling and rationalization about addiction is frightening to me. I don't say these things as a criticism of OP, but as a concern when someone is completely oblivious to the danger they're ready to eagerly embrace.

Benzos have their legitimate uses. It doesn't take much for legitimate usage to stray out of the lines and become full on dependency. I cannot even begin to count the people I've seen who've made a complete wreckage strewn disaster out of their lives because they're locked in the grip of benzos.

Nope, I cannot in good conscience read OP's comments without speaking up. You flat out admitted you want to take these "not to feel these feelings" of sadness about your daughter moving. Quite frankly anyone with any experience of addictive personalities can see the danger signs flashing in those words and this line of thinking. They may not be welcome comments, but they are offered with the very best wishes for OP.

I get what you’re saying but did you read the whole thread? I know that drugs are not the answer.

Did you see the definition of addiction I posted from two different sites? I don’t match any of them.

The fact that I haven’t called my dr for an appointment should say a lot too.

I’m not sure where you see me bristling? I also said I could go to my bathroom and throw out my sleeping pills. I’m not addicted to the buzz they give me, but I do benefit from the restful sleep I get.

 

[cabanafrau]

I get what you’re saying but did you read the whole thread? I know that drugs are not the answer.

Did you see the definition of addiction I posted from two different sites? I don’t match any of them.

The fact that I haven’t called my dr for an appointment should say a lot too.

I’m not sure where you see me bristling? I also said I could go to my bathroom and throw out my sleeping pills. I’m not addicted to the buzz they give me, but I do benefit from the restful sleep I get.

My comments are hard to hear, but they are the truth as I see them. Like I said, I've literally seen countless people with their lives in ruins because of benzos and similar issues. My job involves me with folks in drug court on a regular basis. The song, the dance, your laundry list of rationalizations aren't even a tiny bit out of the norm to me(Yep, it is a song, a dance and rationalizations -- hence the bristling label). I'm not saying these things to be critical of you or to kick you. I genuinely wish you well. As a mom I get the pain of kids leaving quite well. I didn't want to feel it either. It sucked.

ETA I'm also not even a little bit unfamiliar with the phenomenon of insomnia. I have a list of friends and coworkers a mile long who are struggling the same way. Being a female is a double edged sword sometimes.

If we were at the Grand Canyon and you were obliviously taking selfies at the edge I'd be the big mouth who couldn't stand by without saying something to warn you even if I knew you might take offense.

 

[kimblebee]

My comments are hard to hear, but they are the truth as I see them. Like I said, I've literally seen countless people with their lives in ruins because of benzos and similar issues. My job involves me with folks in drug court on a regular basis. The song, the dance, your laundry list of rationalizations aren't even a tiny bit out of the norm to me(Yep, it is a song, a dance and rationalizations -- hence the bristling label). I'm not saying these things to be critical of you or to kick you. I genuinely wish you well. As a mom I get the pain of kids leaving quite well. I didn't want to feel it either. It sucked.

ETA I'm also not even a little bit unfamiliar with the phenomenon of insomnia. I have a list of friends and coworkers a mile long who are struggling the same way. Being a female is a double edged sword sometimes.

If we were at the Grand Canyon and you were obliviously taking selfies at the edge I'd be the big mouth who couldn't stand by without saying something to warn you even if I knew you might take offense.

Ok, well, you are entitled to see what you want to see.

I don’t see how one sleeping pill a night makes me an addict destined for ‘drug court’, but again, you can see what you want to see.

 

[cabanafrau]

Ok, well, you are entitled to see what you want to see.

I don’t see how one sleeping pill a night makes me an addict destined for ‘drug court’, but again, you can see what you want to see.

I absolutely get why you don't like my comments. I will ask that you not twist what I said in order to garner support for your position.

I did not say that your "one sleeping pill a night makes you an addict destined for drug court". I will say that your laundry list of justifications and your defensiveness beg some deep introspection.

 

[kimblebee]

I absolutely get why you don't like my comments. I will ask that you not twist what I said in order to garner support for your position.

I did not say that your "one sleeping pill a night makes you an addict destined for drug court". I will say that your laundry list of justifications and your defensiveness beg some deep introspection.

Have a nice day

 

[Lori74]

hey Kim, i'm not going to be around here for a few days... busy busy, but wanted to wish you well and hope today is a good one. take good care of yourself! treat yourself to something everyday... flowers, a good book, tv time... ice cream

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

I think it just strikes me as odd of all the things you want to jump into it's.. really strong medication like Xanax. What you are experiencing is normal, these medications are for people who have mental health disorders.

 

[kimblebee]

hey Kim, i'm not going to be around here for a few days... busy busy, but wanted to wish you well and hope today is a good one. take good care of yourself! treat yourself to something everyday... flowers, a good book, tv time... ice cream

Thank you. I seem to being ok since I had the good cry that inspired this thread. I realized that she needed me to help her get everything organized before she leaves. So, I’m helping her manage all her lists lol

I think it just strikes me as odd of all the things you want to jump into it's.. really strong medication like Xanax. What you are experiencing is normal, these medications are for people who have mental health disorders.

I know, it wasn’t the smartest thing. I just didn’t want to feel any pain and those are the drugs I know that kill pain (as far as I know). If I drank, I guess I could have drank myself into a stupor. Or, if illegal drugs were my thing, I could have gone there.
The good thing is that I realized it wasn’t going to help and I haven’t gone that route at all.

 

[Domo]

Klonopin is a decent enough Benzo like Xanax but it's less addictive. If you need a tranquiliser, perhaps you could consider this one?

 

[Floridaman999]

Thank you. I seem to being ok since I had the good cry that inspired this thread. I realized that she needed me to help her get everything organized before she leaves. So, I’m helping her manage all her lists lol



I know, it wasn’t the smartest thing. I just didn’t want to feel any pain and those are the drugs I know that kill pain (as far as I know). If I drank, I guess I could have drank myself into a stupor. Or, if illegal drugs were my thing, I could have gone there.
The good thing is that I realized it wasn’t going to help and I haven’t gone that route at all.

I think you just need to start researching whale watching expeditions. That'll keep ya busy.

 

[Domo]

Something I find VERY relaxing - planning holidays! Even ones that will never happen!