Recently returned - Some Observations

Alfredo68

I love Disney. My partner doesn't.
Joined
Jul 2, 2016
This has been our experience also. We mostly go ignored, both at DL and WDW, which I'm mostly ok with. I think the button situation has watered down the market on enthusiasm, lol. We might wear the buttons on the day of our anniversary or birthday or whatever but I usually just pick them up as mementos,
I know...each time I have spoken with a CM about my trip the first question out of their mouths is: "Are you celebrating anything special?" I figured if I was, I'd get a button like 500 other people....so I never say I am celebrating anything. And since my partner won't celebrate our anniversary at Disney, that takes care of that. The one birthday I celebrated there I said nothing, as I don't usually like attention drawn upon myself anyway and I get enough from my work to warrant some quiet times otherwise.
 

chi_disfan

Earning My Ears
Joined
Feb 22, 2016
Thanks for sharing your experience. I had a sort of similar, yet different experience. I'm a guy and I often travel with my (girl) friend as my boyfriend is not as into Disney as I am. I noticed on this last trip that everyone everywhere assumed my friend and I were a couple. It was pretty harmless, mostly, but just slightly awkward. A few notable things were at the hotel, which was in my name, they referred to my friend as "Mrs. chi_disfan". Also, I noticed that the photopass photographers were ushering us more towards couple-y poses which was a bit awkward as I'm not a hugger/close contact type of person. Also, a lot of meet and greets were really weird as the character would often ask if I was my friend's prince etc. We'd always just say "oh we're just friends" or something like that but so many times they just assumed we were a couple.

Overall, it wasn't anything that really bummed us out too much, but it was just kind of funny. We thought about making shirts that said "Party of 2 but we're not a couple" or something like that.
 
  • GaryDis

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 24, 2015
    Thanks for the report. This gives us something to discuss with regard to our upcoming trip. We've become a bit more affectionate in public, and have been known to sneak a kiss when we're alone in an elevator. We'll have the be alert to how the photographers treat us.
     

    Peepster

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 14, 2005
    We celebrated our 25th a couple of years ago and wore our anniversary pins with pride! We expected a bit of negativity, especially from couples of our generation but were so pleasantly surprised to hear nothing but kind and positive remarks from both CM's and guests. It was a wonderful time! I pray that all of you will know nothing but kindness in the future.
     

    Agent 86

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 31, 2013
    Still, I often see people wondering what kind of treatment people receive when they visit WDW and display their orientation/same-sex relationship. So this is my take on it
    My husband and I honeymooned for four days at Disneyland LA earlier this year. We had the "Happily Ever After" button for all four days and in that time I think we received only one congratulations from a cast member (a wonderful server at Flo's Diner at DCA). No-one else offered a congratulations, not even the two times we got the buttons (the second being when one broke so we sought a replacement).

    After reading so many happy stories about newlyweds being constantly congratulated and sometimes even receiving a bit of extra special "Disney Magic", it was a little disappointing. But, maybe all the cast members were just playing it safe? We didn't have any negative reactions, which I guess is the most important thing.
     

    Skip3key

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Oct 9, 2012
    All in all, I am glad the world has come a long way with regards to couples of all different varieties! We are both a little older- 45 and 55, and met in 1989 while I was in the military...way before even the "don't ask, don't tell" shenanigans, and the world is a vastly different place in regards to tolerance now then it was then. I really think the generations that came before us and trail blazed the way so that we have the same rights to marry and be accepted now are the real heros of our community- I just don't know if I would have had their strength to be so brave in the intolerant world that existed before.

    We had been together 23 years when we finally got married for real in 2014- first legally paper in California, then with ceremony with family and friends in WDW. I have to stay, from start to finish no one ever treated us with any thing but respect every step of the way. It was refreshing to be treated like everyone else, and every cast member we encountered seemed genuinely glad for us and went out of their way to may sure we knew it! During the week of our wedding, we wore our buttons all the time and even made our own white ball caps that said "Hitched Chicks" with a picture of a chicken on it. We were congratulated by so many Disney castmembers and other Disney guests so much, we actually quit wearing the pins the last couple days because we had told our stories so much by then! Never an ill word or look that we saw, but we could have also been wearing rose colored glasses the whole week....

    Sorry you guys had a couple not so great moments, but overall, Disney has been the most accepting and tolerant of all people of most any company Ive seen, both the staff and the visitors alike. There will always be a few bad apples, you just gotta throw them out of your mind and marvel at the vast majority of the good!
     
  • Princesca

    <3 Pink sugar heart attack! <3
    Joined
    Jun 14, 2011
    All in all, I am glad the world has come a long way with regards to couples of all different varieties! We are both a little older- 45 and 55, and met in 1989 while I was in the military...way before even the "don't ask, don't tell" shenanigans, and the world is a vastly different place in regards to tolerance now then it was then. I really think the generations that came before us and trail blazed the way so that we have the same rights to marry and be accepted now are the real heros of our community- I just don't know if I would have had their strength to be so brave in the intolerant world that existed before.
    To be honest, I'm not 100% out even now... so I totally agree. Thanks for telling your story... what a neat wedding idea! Do you have pics you'd not mind sharing? :)
     

    Skip3key

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Oct 9, 2012

    Princesca

    <3 Pink sugar heart attack! <3
    Joined
    Jun 14, 2011
  • marchingstar

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 18, 2014
    Stopping back in to the boards after a fairly long stretch away from it, and I'm so glad to see the LGBT section active again! Disney means a lot of my partner and I, and we've definitely had a mix of good and bad experiences where people (especially employees) read us as a couple. A few comments that come to mind reading through this thread:
    -disneybounding is so much fun! my partner and I have only done one bound (we went to Club Villain last trip and dressed up as 2 more wicked women: ursula and lady tremaine). They aren't characters who are partnered, so I don't know that it made us more visibly a couple, but the outfits certainly made it clear that we had dressed up together. And it did feel like the characters read us well. I think I'll get into planning more outfits for future trips--it's a great way to get excited about a trip in advance, and to say (even subtly) that you're together.

    -we celebrated our 5 year anniversary in the World and wore buttons the whole time. I think overall the reactions were mostly positive--we were constantly congratulated and had some fun interactions with characters who were kind and excited about our anniversary. We didn't experience outward antagonism on that trip (from what I remember--it was a few years ago now, but the bad memories do tend to stick), but I do remember meeting the Aladdin characters together and Jasmine asking where my prince was. I just told her that my princess was the one taking the photo, and things got a bit awkward, like she didn't know what else to say. There were a couple awkward moments on buses too (I'm chatty, like you might tell from this post). A couple times I made conversation with some folks on buses and when they realized my partner and I are both women they would stop talking, but nothing else major.

    -the worst experience we have had was the next year, when we celebrated our next anniversary with dinner at the Hoop Dee Doo Revue. We happened to be at a show where a lot of college students were celebrating the end of their Disney employment, and they were awful. They weren't commenting on us, but the 15 or so minutes before getting into the theatre they gossiped about what coworkers were gay and said terribly hateful things about them, to the point that we didn't feel comfortable telling anyone that we were together, let alone celebrating. It was a real let down, especially because near the end of the show they always ask who's celebrating and we didn't feel like we could participate. We did talk to someone at a park customer service location later in the week, and they were very kind (refunded our meal, got us reservations at Be Our Guest, gave us a gift card) but it was a sobering reminder that although Disney World is our favourite place you can still experience some terrible, hateful stuff.

    -I'll end on a happier story: on our most recent trip we were on a relatively empty bus. I was wearing a Flash t-shirt (the sloth from Zootopia) and a shy little girl was so excited about it, because she had just met some sloths at a zoo and loved them. She was pretty shy so her mom was pushing her to talk more, and then she said something about her other mom, who also loved Zootopia. It was a really sweet moment to me, to see a young kid so excited to talk about their moms.

    Anyways, I'm sorry for sharing so many things in one post! Like I said, I'm just so excited to see this section active again :) I'm excited to get to know some of you better, and to hear more of your stories--it feels so nice to be able to share both the good and the bad parts of Disney
     

    marchingstar

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 18, 2014

    Hannahinwonderland

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 7, 2014
    Thanks for sharing your experience. I had a sort of similar, yet different experience. I'm a guy and I often travel with my (girl) friend as my boyfriend is not as into Disney as I am. I noticed on this last trip that everyone everywhere assumed my friend and I were a couple. It was pretty harmless, mostly, but just slightly awkward. A few notable things were at the hotel, which was in my name, they referred to my friend as "Mrs. chi_disfan". Also, I noticed that the photopass photographers were ushering us more towards couple-y poses which was a bit awkward as I'm not a hugger/close contact type of person. Also, a lot of meet and greets were really weird as the character would often ask if I was my friend's prince etc. We'd always just say "oh we're just friends" or something like that but so many times they just assumed we were a couple.

    Overall, it wasn't anything that really bummed us out too much, but it was just kind of funny. We thought about making shirts that said "Party of 2 but we're not a couple" or something like that.

    My best friend who is a guy visited me on my CP last summer and we noticed this to the extreme. I was wearing an "I'm Celebrating" button and more than once, a CM would ask MY FRIEND "what is your girlfriend celebrating?" It was very odd. Photopass photographers would also definitely usher us into couple-y poses. After that trip, I was v careful in my own interactions as a CM to not type anyone!
     

    sarahatthesea

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Mar 26, 2015
    Ugh, my wife and I get mistaken for sisters all the time. It's not a huge deal, but so annoying over and over again--it totally makes me feel invisible! I often wonder if this happens to gay men, too, or not. It seems less likely, since mild couple behavior (holding hands, saying "honey" or similar, deferring to each other on decisions) is common for women who aren't couples in the US but less so for men. Anyone ever been asked if their husband/male partner is their brother?
     

    wilkeliza

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 1, 2013
    We just got back from celebrating my BFF's and his partner's 10 year anniversary. I don't think we were ever treated differently. There was one cute moment where in Be Our Guest only 1 of them was there (the other sadly had to leave for a funeral) and so there was only 1 button. The CM asked whose anniversary it was and pointed between me and my friend and we said no and I was about to correct him and say his partner had just left but the CM then turned to the guy who was standing with us and said "Oh so you" with a big smile. Nope again but before my friend or I could say anything the other guy (a friend of my bff) kissed him on the top of the head and said it had been a wonderful 10 years! It was so funny!

    Besides that they were given a bottle of water for free when the CM saw their anniversary button. Not sure if there was anything else as the one partner was only with us for one day but I don't think my friend came out feeling like he was ever treated less then other couples. Of course they didn't do any couple type photos or anything like that since they mostly wanted group photos of everyone who came to celebrate.
     

    GaryDis

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 24, 2015
    We did the Wild Africa Trek this morning. One of the tour guides asked if we were celebrating anything and DH answered 30 years together. She was so excited, she told the other guides who all congratulated us, and when we finished and were collecting our stuff from the lockers , one of them asked what our secret was to staying together thirty years.

    It was a great experience regardless, one that I can heartily recommend, but their reaction to our celebrating our life together made it that much more special. I'll be complimenting them to guest services when we get home.
     

    LadyD

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 9, 2014
    Ugh, my wife and I get mistaken for sisters all the time. It's not a huge deal, but so annoying over and over again--it totally makes me feel invisible! I often wonder if this happens to gay men, too, or not. It seems less likely, since mild couple behavior (holding hands, saying "honey" or similar, deferring to each other on decisions) is common for women who aren't couples in the US but less so for men. Anyone ever been asked if their husband/male partner is their brother?
    My wife and I dyed our hair drastically different colors from each other just to make us look dramatically different so the sister inquiries stopped.

    I've decided to just make it really awkward for people and not be very nice about it if they ask at this point. I've never understood what compels people to even ask that question to begin with, because I certainly have never once been asked by a stranger if my actual sister and I are siblings when we're in public.
     

    Cubbiecakes

    Mr. Cakes
    Joined
    Sep 17, 2016
    Ugh, my wife and I get mistaken for sisters all the time. It's not a huge deal, but so annoying over and over again--it totally makes me feel invisible! I often wonder if this happens to gay men, too, or not. It seems less likely, since mild couple behavior (holding hands, saying "honey" or similar, deferring to each other on decisions) is common for women who aren't couples in the US but less so for men. Anyone ever been asked if their husband/male partner is their brother?
    My husband and I get that all the time. We want to buy t-shirts that say "No." and just point to them when asked.
     


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