Rethinking Surprise Plans... Advice?

[KimBean]

Ok, so plan has always been a surprise. My kids really need a boost. They lost their grandpa unexpectedly in May (lived with us.) And we were just recovering from losing his wife in 2012 (cancer, hospice in our home for 6 months.)

Plan has always been to tell them we are going somewhere else (tag along business trip so they aren't too excited) and then just drive under the WDW sign. Even though my oldest is 14 she is pretty oblivious when we are driving and knows that in the past we have gone to other places in Florida but still driven through orlando area so we don't think she will be suspicious.

But, all of a sudden I am thinking that it might be more fun to tell them 2-3 days ahead of time. One, because I think DH will be driving and miss most of the reveal. Two, I love anticipation and I almost hate that I'm taking that away from them. Third, it will make packing and logistics a lot easier because there will never be a rouse of a fake trip. They just would know nothing and then we tell them and then it is time to pack.

I'm so torn. We've never planned a surprise before and might be last opportunity with a 14 year old. She could very well have a job next time we go. (We homeschool so that isn't an issue.) I still think 2-3 days ahead of time would be a surprise right?

All of a sudden I just have this big reveal in my head that might actually be more fun?? What do you guys think? FYI - I asked oldest about a year and half ago if she would hate a surprise trip (she is a planner - type A) or if it would be fun. She said any trip to WDW would be fun and a surprise would be really fun.

 

[6loversofdisney]

I just went through the same thing you're going through right now!

We have done complete surprises for them in the past, like you said we told them once we were driving to South Carolina and just kept right on going They don't pay any mind to where we are or how long it's taking (we just love road trips in general).

This time, we have one DD that is working and her job requires notice for time off so we were forced to reveal early. I don't regret that decision for a second! We still got the same reaction we had hoped for, probably moreso because after the reveal, we had a long talk and answered all of their questions. Tears were shed and shouts were heard and we caught it all on film and neither of us missed their reaction!

We are big fans of surprise but I can assure you, if you decide to share it a little early, it can still be a fantastic surprise - and you can both see it <3

Best of luck to you!!

 

[KimBean]

Ok. So you get it? Yeah, I'm just thinking we might be setting ourselves up for failure because with my kids if they are too shocked it just gets really quiet while their minds "sort." LOL! This way they could get really psyched up! DH was gone over night last night so I'll have to see what he thinks when he gets home.

We've been talking about this for awhile. So I don't know if he would be willing to bend but probably will if I can come up with a good reveal.

 

[JimmyV]

...I love anticipation and I almost hate that I'm taking that away from them. Third, it will make packing and logistics a lot easier because there will never be a rouse of a fake trip.

THIS. This. 100 times this! Surprise trips look good on paper. In reality, it is easier on you and more fun for them to plan ahead. A one week vacation becomes a month-long high when it is preceded by three weeks of anticipation. And it would be great to get some input from the 14 year old in the planning. Teens have pretty strong ideas and it would be nice to get some feedback there.

 

[JennyDrake]

I WOULD TELL THEM!!

I know my story is the exception but we did a surprise trip for the nieces and nephew and it was a total train wreck disaster. They had no idea what they wanted to do and were completely overwhelmed--as a result *all* they wanted to do was stay at the hotel.

 

[MinnieGi]

We nixed the last minute surprise for our niece and nephew who are coming with us in a few weeks for their first ever Disney trip. Now we did do a "surprise" with them though!

We decided it would be more fun for them if they had an opportunity to absorb the reality of this trip and do a little planning and anticipation for what they will be seeing and doing.

I am so glad we went this route!! My own kids were in on the secret and were making a Disney countdown poster that the cousins thought were for our own trip and then we started watching the trip planning DVD and then handed them a gift bag with shirts, stuffed animals, and planning guides. My niece was SOOOOO over the moon!! She was hugging us and jumping up and down. It was such a sweet moment, I'll never forget!! My nephew was not as demonstrative, but that is just not his way. However we soon saw him pouring over the maps and Disney guides.

I am really glad we gave them the time to absorb the trip without being "sprung" on them at the last minute. Cannot wait to go!!!!

Now I know your kids have already been OP, but I still think it will be a great surprise to have a trip presented to them a few days ahead of time and very exciting for them to help pack etc... Especially with a 14 yo I think telling of the surprise beforehand would be a plus! I think my own 14yo DD if we sprung it on her right at the last minute, while she would be excited would also lament for moments in the trip of "If I had know, I would have packed this..." etc...

Have fun with whatever you decide!

 

[KorbensMomma]

You can still do a surprise. You said you home school so work in a geography lesson and give them the longitude and latitude to Disney. Make them find out where they are going.

 

[chelseabun76]

We just told my dd on Sunday. We booked the trip in August, and we are going in January. We decided to tell her on her birthday, and believe me, her reaction was amazing. She is now SO excited to help me decide what FP+ we want, and I can have her input on what she really wants to spend the most time doing. I wasn't keen on spending weeks on end setting up plans for us and then get there and have her say 'but I don't want to do meet and greets, I just want to ride!!!' The surprise is still there whenever you tell them, if they truly aren't expecting anything. Make the reveal super fun and get them all involved, like a treasure hunt or something! And I will add that if I was taking my 15 year old to Disney and she didn't know she was packing for Disney, she would be awfully upset that she wasn't able to pick different clothes more suited! LOL!

 

[CaryHaven]

Ok, so plan has always been a surprise. My kids really need a boost. They lost their grandpa unexpectedly in May (lived with us.) And we were just recovering from losing his wife in 2012 (cancer, hospice in our home for 6 months.)

Plan has always been to tell them we are going somewhere else (tag along business trip so they aren't too excited) and then just drive under the WDW sign. Even though my oldest is 14 she is pretty oblivious when we are driving and knows that in the past we have gone to other places in Florida but still driven through orlando area so we don't think she will be suspicious.

But, all of a sudden I am thinking that it might be more fun to tell them 2-3 days ahead of time. One, because I think DH will be driving and miss most of the reveal. Two, I love anticipation and I almost hate that I'm taking that away from them. Third, it will make packing and logistics a lot easier because there will never be a rouse of a fake trip. They just would know nothing and then we tell them and then it is time to pack.

I'm so torn. We've never planned a surprise before and might be last opportunity with a 14 year old. She could very well have a job next time we go. (We homeschool so that isn't an issue.) I still think 2-3 days ahead of time would be a surprise right?

All of a sudden I just have this big reveal in my head that might actually be more fun?? What do you guys think? FYI - I asked oldest about a year and half ago if she would hate a surprise trip (she is a planner - type A) or if it would be fun. She said any trip to WDW would be fun and a surprise would be really fun.

I haven't read any of the replies, but I will tell you that although I like the thought of giving a surprise trip (and I know my five year old would), she also loves being able to anticipate with me. I think the anticipation is just as fun as the trip. She loves countdown calendars as well. I have heard stories of some kids, even young kids, bursting into tears with the all-of-a-sudden idea they're on their way to somewhere huge they aren't prepared for. I don't know how type-A your daughter is, but do you think something like that might possibly happen? I personally hate surprises. I want to plan everything out because I enjoy it. Would your daughter be helping pack or plan any if you told her earlier? Maybe she'd want to buy a new swimsuit or pick certain outfits for the park? At that age, it's possible. My vote is to tell them a few days early. It will still be a big surprise, with the added bonus of a couple days with something to look forward to.

 

[emij]

I really wanted to do a total surprise for our trip last week... but decided that with our red eye flight that would freak the kids out!

I ended up doing a surprise party 10 days before to tell them we'll be going, but didn't tell them the date - just that some day soon they would be woken up in the middle of the night and we'd go!

I did many of the ideas on this blog:

http://www.thriftystories.com/2012/...use-celebration/comment-page-1/#comment-28886

I have a mickey mouse waffle iron, so that was our meal's main dish. It was SO much fun, and the kids really got into the preparation and excitement of going. Worked out well for us.

 

[KimBean]

I haven't read any of the replies, but I will tell you that although I like the thought of giving a surprise trip (and I know my five year old would), she also loves being able to anticipate with me. I think the anticipation is just as fun as the trip. She loves countdown calendars as well. I have heard stories of some kids, even young kids, bursting into tears with the all-of-a-sudden idea they're on their way to somewhere huge they aren't prepared for. I don't know how type-A your daughter is, but do you think something like that might possibly happen? I personally hate surprises. I want to plan everything out because I enjoy it. Would your daughter be helping pack or plan any if you told her earlier? Maybe she'd want to buy a new swimsuit or pick certain outfits for the park? At that age, it's possible. My vote is to tell them a few days early. It will still be a big surprise, with the added bonus of a couple days with something to look forward to.

Yeah. I am worried about exactly this. I feel like it might be too much for her to process. Also, I see a reveal of just going under the sign going like DD6 getting super excited and "getting it" where older DD will think that is not what we are doing, dad just got lost, and start getting anxious that the littler one is going to be disappointed... She always thinks of others more than herself.

Also to those that said stuff about outfits. This has been one of my concerns. I can pack for the 6 yo but you don't pack for a 14 yo really. So that means I would have to take whatever she packed and then sneak in her room and make sure I have all her Disney shirts, lanyard for pins, etc. Also, she loves all her converse, sandals, keds, etc. But really for this trip she will need athletic tennis shoes and flip flops for pool only.

All the plans are made really, so she really wouldn't be able to help with ADR choices or FP choices. But, I still think it could be really exciting to do a few days earlier.

I'm still really torn. Anyone have a good/bad experience waiting to tell them until arrival?

Anyone have awesome way to reveal a surprise to 14 and 6 yo. (LO won't turn 6 until right before we leave and her reading skills are still very basic.)

 

[DisLee]

we surprise our kids with every trip. we pack everything the night before. we go into their rooms the morning of the trip wearing our disney shirts and wake them up. theu know what it means and they get all excited then.

 

[JimmyV]

I can pack for the 6 yo but you don't pack for a 14 yo really.

Anyone have awesome way to reveal a surprise to 14 and 6 yo. (LO won't turn 6 until right before we leave and her reading skills are still very basic.)

One option would be to co-opt the 14 year old as a confederate and let her in on the plan to surprise the 6 year old. There is no way that my DD, when she was 14, would have welcomed the surprise aspect. If we walked in to the California Grill without her having had the opportunity to pick out her outfit and makeup, there would have been a dust storm of major proportion. So I think trying to surprise her would just flat out be more trouble than it is worth. But it might be a great mother-daughter bonding experience to have her help you "keep the secret", help with the packing, and help with diverting the 6 year old. She will appreciate you having enough confidence in her to assist with this. A true sign that you view her as a responsible young adult. (Not that you don't already view her that way. But being "in" on the plan could really mean a lot to her).

 

[KimBean]

we surprise our kids with every trip. we pack everything the night before. we go into their rooms the morning of the trip wearing our disney shirts and wake them up. theu know what it means and they get all excited then.

That is an idea. But, we have to leave at 4am. Which means waking about 3:30am. We are driving.

 

[DisneyMOM09]

We are in exactly the same boat. My DDs are 14 and 8. They know that we are going on a trip... to Texas to visit family. Obviously Texas is in the opposite direction, but typically our girls don't pay attention to anything when we are on a road trip. My DH is so into surprising them so we are set on that course. I did sneak into my 14 year olds room and steal all of her Disney shirts. I already have her lanyard as they all hang in my closet. I am just telling her to pack for weather that is similar to home and bringing anything I think she might need but not pack in my suitcase. She is a jeans in the park kind of girl so I am feeling confident that she will be happy with her clothing choices. For my 8 year old I am of course packing for her, but all of her Disney shirts are also hidden in my suitcase. We wrapped our magic band box in Christmas paper and will give that along with spending money (wrapped as another gift) and an itinerary(complete with restaurants and fastpass times) when they figure out where we are headed. We are hoping to make it all the way to the sign, but know that they might figure it out somewhere along the way. It is killing me not to tell them because I am so excited, but I am really hopeful that they will be thrilled with the surprise of it all. They are both super into surprises so I am not super worried about a bad reaction!

 

[rachelp6]

We leave in 10 days for WDW and I've been planning it since Jan. I was going to completely surprise my kids but I decided to tell them 4 weeks in advance because anticipation is part of the fun. I don't regret telling them at all. My kids are 16, 14, 10, 8, 6 and they love the countdown calender and want to see pics of where we are staying and where we are eating. I did a scavenger hunt to reveal the trip. It was a blast.

 

[leahlefler]

I was going to surprise my boys (currently 7 and 8 years old, will be 7 and 9 when we go in February). I just couldn't do it, haha. Once we had booked and the Mickey Mail started to arrive, I couldn't hide it - I had to share it. I'm glad I did share it with them, because their response was rather anticlimactic at first. They weren't over the moon... but then again, they have only ever been to Disneyland, and that was when they were 4 and 6 years old. Their memories aren't very detailed from that trip, and they have no idea what to expect with regard to EPCOT, etc.

I am SO glad I told them. Their excitement has been building over the months. Every time new "Mickey Mail" comes, they jump up and down with excitement. I bought the kid's guide to WDW and they love reading it. I just ordered customized maps from the MDE site and they arrived today - the kids were over the moon.

We've talked about restaurants we'll visit, about the hotel and hotel pool, etc. By sharing the trip early, we are all sharing in the excitement. We have a very long winter in Western NY, so this is making the cold, dark months ahead a cheerier prospect.

If we manage to do a second trip to WDW, I might make that one a surprise.. but maybe not. Planning and looking forward to the trip are half the fun (for us).

 

[MacClemsons]

We've tried surprising the kids twice. The first surprise was their second trip. They were underwhelmed. I attributed it to their being young and waking them up early. Then we tried again when they were 6,7,8 -- again, lackluster response with the reveal.

Anticipation of the trip is half the fun.

 

[dpswift]

We surprised DS 12 a WDW veteran with a surprise trip to Disneyland in May. I just asked him what he thought of the surprise he said he would have been happier with advance warning.

Like you said a 14 year old girl would want to choose her clothes also in this day and age WDW takes planning.

 

[KimBean]

We surprised DS 12 a WDW veteran with a surprise trip to Disneyland in May. I just asked him what he thought of the surprise he said he would have been happier with advance warning.

Like you said a 14 year old girl would want to choose her clothes also in this day and age WDW takes planning.

Ok. Thanks so much for all the input. I'm thinking a "surprise" about 3 days ahead of time would be perfect. That allows for the excitement and no prolonged delay but still time to adjust to the idea. It also means we can pack together, so no issues, and there be NO need for an alibi plan, which I heard and read can really backfire. And it might actually be my youngest that has the most issue with that. Once she thinks things are supposed to be going one way she isn't the easiest to change direction.

As far as planning, everything is done except the BOG lunch FP I will try to get at 27 days (we are at 37 days away today.) But, she can plan what she wants to bring. My oldest has already done most of the "thrill" rides when she was 11 and 12 and she hates them. But, I have FP for all of us anyway in case she changes her mind. So I think all my bases are covered there. With 10 days at parks and 30 different FP's, I pretty much can fit in whatever anyone wants to do.

Now just to convince DH...