School Pick Up Car Mishap. How Would You React?

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Honestly people should get compensation for damage property, that's my first course of action. When I change to letting them go is when their attitude is so nice and you feel bad. Mistakes happen and I hope if I treat someone with kindness I get the same. Since I wasn't treated that way I never considered letting them go. Instead of saying retailate. First response is getting compensated and fix your property the exception is not filing, the exception like you said "more bees with honey" is having someone say mistakes happen and let you go. No one should ever feel bad about getting compensated. And people should learn a valuable lesson of respecting people's property and being kind.

You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I haven't said a word about compensation nor anything related to you shouldn't contact the insurance company or police. Quite frankly I think I've said the opposite (as in I'm pro calling the insurance company, I've been around insurance my entire life, I worked as an Underwriting for years).

I'm talking about your reason for doing so. If you want the damage to be fixed (or the insurance companies to become involved to see if it will be fixed) absolutely file the claim.

However, if you're doing it because the person involved didn't apologize to you that's what I'm talking about. Your initial comment I quoted had the following comments:

She didn't apologize and had a attitude. I called the cops and did a police report. Normally I wouldn't but so mad about the attitude.

You called because you didn't like the person's attitude, you called because you didn't get an apology.

Further on you said:

She was upset, maybe she learned a valuable lesson.

That's all I'm talking about, not your right to get damage fixed, or compensation. You shouldn't feel bad about wanting compensation but let's be honest though you yourself said you wouldn't have reported it but her attitude stunk so you did. All I'm saying is that doesn't make people look good either for doing it for those reasons.

 

[motherof5]

You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I haven't said a word about compensation nor anything related to you shouldn't contact the insurance company or police. Quite frankly I think I've said the opposite (as in I'm pro calling the insurance company, I've been around insurance my entire life, I worked as an Underwriting for years).

I'm talking about your reason for doing so. If you want the damage to be fixed (or the insurance companies to become involved to see if it will be fixed) absolutely file the claim.

However, if you're doing it because the person involved didn't apologize to you that's what I'm talking about. Your initial comment I quoted had the following comments:

You called because you didn't like the person's attitude, you called because you didn't get an apology.

Further on you said:


That's all I'm talking about, not your right to get damage fixed, or compensation. You shouldn't feel bad about wanting compensation but let's be honest though you yourself said you wouldn't have reported it but her attitude stunk so you did. All I'm saying is that doesn't make people look good either for doing it for those reason

Yes I called cause of attitude and if it was the opposite I would have sucked it up. Like you said "bees with honey" People forgive mistakes when you have remorse, apologize or are nice. People get more upset when you are so negative. So if she was nice I would have not been so quick to seek compensation for my damage property. Why? Cause people make mistakes. Some people would seek compensation either way. Doesn't hurt to be nice.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Yes I called cause of attitude and if it was the opposite I would have sucked it up. Like you said "bees with honey" People forgive mistakes when you have remorse, apologize or are nice. People get more upset when you are so negative. So if she was nice I would have not been so quick to seek compensation for my damage property. Why? Cause people make mistakes. Some people would seek compensation either way. Doesn't hurt to be nice.

You are trying to describe two different things and thinking I'm arguing something I'm not. I'm not saying your reaction is not abnormal but it is sorta like two wrongs don't make a right.

Either you want the damage to be fixed because you should be able to get it fixed
OR
You don't really care about the supposed minor damage unless the person is not as nice to you as you would like.

You can't really have it both ways AND be seen as good and wholesome yourself.

One has no ulterior motives but to get the damage fixed, the other is based on the behaviors of someone else.

You (general you) don't get to say you're taking the high road if your actions are contingent on someone else apologizing to you and/or not having an attitude. If I want the damage to be fixed I don't care if you're the nicest person out there, I'd like the damage to be fixed. Conversely I don't care if you're the meanest person out there, if I want the damage to be fixed I'd like the damage to be fixed. Me calling the police or turning it into insurance isn't based on how apologetic you are (especially because like I said many insurance companies TELL you to not admit guilt, it's on the back of my proof of insurance for instance).

ETA: This is from our prior Traveler's Policy from 2020 as an example but it's been on the back of my Farmer's policy, Progressive and Nationwide as well just to name a few. Language varies between the companies but the overall gist is don't admit fault with the other party

 

[Dan Murphy]

Will I miss that parking lot in 2 years when she drives herself? Absolutely not. But I will miss our chats.

Another reason for that mom-of-the-year award, FG.

And I do agree with you. I would have been ripped and made some vocalizations in that situation, as did you.

 

[GAN]

Calling the police is a waste of your time and their's. It wasn't criminal, no intent. It wasn't an accident. Also it wasn't on a public road but in a parking lot- private property. At best its a civil problem. Sure, exchange insurance info, but insurance companies probably see this a million times a day. Not sure how they handle it. The only legal recourse, providing the other vehicle owner wouldn't just pay for the repair is to sue. Probably not worth it as the legal costs I would assume would be greater than damage repairs.

I never suggested calling the police …just file a “police report”. For the record…

 

[Southernmiss]

Am I the only one who gets dinged in grocery store or shopping center parking lots? And have no idea who did it?

For a long time, I drove an older car so I wouldn't have to care about dings or minor incidents.

I have a new car now and try to park away from others to save my sanity.

My husband bought me 2 little books years ago 'Don't sweat the small stuff' & 'It's all small stuff.'

A mantra I try to remember when I'm steamed.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I never suggested calling the police …just file a “police report”. For the record…

These days it's easy to do that online too. We have that option for a ton of reasons too in my area. That and just about everyone seemingly knows the non-emergent line

 

[fly girl]

Does the school have security cameras? Not sure they’d get involved, but if you were to notify the school of the incident and they have it on video, perhaps they can identify the student and call her out with at least a mild reprimand. Something like, “we saw what you did, it’s not cool, don’t do it again” could impress upon her to think and act differently the next time.

The hit was hard, but it sounded a lot worse than the damage done. I’m not getting her in trouble with the school. It was a mistake, it was not intentional. He reaction was less than stellar, but that’s just my opinion.

 

[fly girl]

Am I the only one who gets dinged in grocery store or shopping center parking lots? And have no idea who did it?

For a long time, I drove an older car so I wouldn't have to care about dings or minor incidents.

I have a new car now and try to park away from others to save my sanity.

My husband bought me 2 little books years ago 'Don't sweat the small stuff' & 'It's all small stuff.'

A mantra I try to remember when I'm steamed.

Of course. But when you witness it and the frivolous response right in front of your eyes, you’re bound to react. (Well, I am bound to react. )

 

[fly girl]

On another note I know just about no one will agree here but it doesn't really make someone look good when they are merely retaliating against someone because they didn't get an apology owed and coped an attitude. If you want to file a report file a report, if you want to file it through insurance do so. Once you start doing these things because you didn't get an apology you start to sound entitled, even if society advises us it's the courteous thing to do once you cross the line of retaliating you cross a different line...yourself.

I copped a ‘tude with the laugh. And no need to rehash nervous laughter as I do see it could be that, I just feel her actions afterward proved my point it wasn’t. There is nothing wrong with apologizing for a mistake you made. You’re human. And I’m human for reacting to someone who feels they can destruct my property even on mistake and not feel an ounce of remorse.

I don’t agree, you are correct. I don’t think it’s a sense of entitlement, just longing for a civilized society where people take accountability.

We see it differently, that is what makes the world go around!

 

[fly girl]

OP HERE!!

Let me clear a few things up - the damage was minimal. I was never going to call the cops, file an insurance claim, and look for punishment.

I would have never called the cops as I know they won’t touch private property, and this was never serious enough to warrant the police.

I would never call anyone’s insurance as this was a minimal dent.

It’s not worth my time to contact parents/school about the situation. This was an accident. If this was intentional it would be different story. Her reaction was abysmal in my eyes, but that’s my opinion - it’s not fact. I do hope she will be more careful in the future.

 

[Stratman50th]

I never suggested calling the police …just file a “police report”. For the record…

I'm sorry, what's the difference? How do you get a police report without the police.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm sorry, what's the difference? How do you get a police report without the police.

You file it online. My city's website for this is under construction but I pulled up the wording of the city near me: "
You can submit a non-emergency police report online, and print a copy of the report for free. Please read instructions below before submitting a police report online. You can also download copies of crash reports online."

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

And no need to rehash nervous laughter as I do see it could be that,

Just because I commented my opinion on that doesn't mean it was rehashing. It's a large part of what set you off and in the moment I can understand but I also can understand how the other person may have reacted. Generally it's still inappropriate (nervous or malicious).

There is nothing wrong with apologizing for a mistake you made.

No there isn't none whatsoever, but when you start demanding it, or expecting it or making different choices based on whether the public apologizes to you you're on a different track.

As the discussion included comments from people relating to insurance that part does become important (apologizing). Even if you don't turn it in and never had any intention of doing so. FWIW in my state it's mandatory to exchange insurance company information and you're more than welcome to file a claim later on against the other person's insurance and as I mentioned good amount of companies are going to advise their clients to not discuss/admit fault. I get it here it's a door ding so you know probably doubtful you would (unless it was one of those cases I mentioned about expense) or that most people file claims on that but here you can if you want.

I don’t think it’s a sense of entitlement, just longing for a civilized society where people take accountability.

You're not this at all but how many videos go viral because some person demands an apology from an employee or another person. I get it in the moment you see a teen who seemingly didn't care (and maybe she didn't).

As far as taking accountability sometimes, like I mentioned with the car insurance, you really can't, liability-wise it can very well hinge on that and you're better off zipping your lips even though we deem it the courteous thing to do.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Sorry this happened.

15/16 years old, it was probably a nervous or embarrassed laugh

This, remembering my teenaged self. But I would've quickly followed with an "oh, god, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, so sorry."

 

[lovesmurfs]

I'm sorry, what's the difference? How do you get a police report without the police.

I was following someone in a parking lot who took his foot off the clutch of his pickup truck, and he backed into me -- damage from his ball hitch. We took each other's information and thought that would be that. But my insurer told me I should get a police report, so went back to the parking lot, called, and did a police report after the fact.

Never left the scene of any scrape without a report after that. The guy was honest, but he could easily have said that I rear-ended him instead of him backing into me.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I was following someone in a parking lot who took his foot off the clutch of his pickup truck, and he backed into me -- damage from his ball hitch. We took each other's information and thought that would be that. But my insurer told me I should get a police report, so went back to the parking lot, called, and did a police report after the fact.

Never left the scene of any scrape without a report after that. The guy was honest, but he could easily have said that I rear-ended him instead of him backing into me.

In my state it's legally required to:

"b) If no police officer is present, the driver of any vehicle involved in such accident, or any occupant of such vehicle 18 years of age or older, shall immediately report such accident, by the quickest available means of communication, to the nearest office of a duly authorized police authority if:

(1) There is apparently property damage of $1,000 or more;"

***Just added the pertinent part. Unfortunately these days it doesn't take much to get to that dollar threshold

But to your point yeah it's not entirely uncommon for insurance companies to want that police report regardless of the supposed damage.

 

[Mysterian]

I don’t blame you, Fly Girl, I would have felt the same about that teen’s demeanor. Nervous or not, laughter coupled with zero apology seems heartless.

If she’s this careless, she’s likely to do it again to another vehicle.

 

[Mysterian]

I was following someone in a parking lot who took his foot off the clutch of his pickup truck, and he backed into me -- damage from his ball hitch. We took each other's information and thought that would be that. But my insurer told me I should get a police report, so went back to the parking lot, called, and did a police report after the fact.

Never left the scene of any scrape without a report after that. The guy was honest, but he could easily have said that I rear-ended him instead of him backing into me.

And on top of that, imagine if he had demanded the amount was well over what the damage was actually worth, ala the thread about the trailer guys sending an exorbitant invoice to one of our DIS folk.

Speaking of drivers, I’m surprised the driver in FG’s situation seemed rather dismissive about it.

However, I would never recommend to DIS boarders that someone sprinkle a handful of Audubon Wild Bird Seed on the offending vehicle in expectation of birds pooping all over said vehicle, and possibly said passengers. That would be wrong, DIS. Wrong.

 

[sam_gordon]

However, I would never recommend to DIS boarders that someone sprinkle a handful of Audubon Wild Bird Seed on the offending vehicle in expectation of birds pooping all over said vehicle, and possibly said passengers. That would be wrong, DIS. Wrong.

Especially because the driver wasn't related to the girl who caused the dent (if I remember/understand correctly).