Should I stay (or should I go?)

Status
Not open for further replies.

miniwinnie

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jun 11, 2019
EDIT: Thank you all for taking the time to contribute to this post. I appreciate all of your feedback!
 
Last edited:

kimblebee

now my thoughts will be worth 5 cents
Joined
May 28, 2009
Hi all! As a continuation of my previous post, New Job Support Group?, I have ultimately come to the conclusion that I don't think my job is for me.

Backstory: I am a recent college grad who now works for a large company. Though I admire the company, I really dislike my job for a number of reasons: First, I am completely isolated at work because my training has been mismanaged and my coworkers refuse to help me learn how to do my job. Second, management is aware of how "green" I am to the workforce but has somewhat unrealistic expectations of me and what I can accomplish using limited resources. Lastly, because of each of these concerns (and more) I have developed a severe case of anxiety issues and have since begun seeing a therapist for it. All in all, the stress that I have taken on in my new job has caused significant mental/emotional problems in my personal life...but there's a twist:

I have reached out to a number of people in regards to the challenges I'm facing in and outside of the company -- a few people in HR, my bosses, and a phenomenal mentor I met in college to name a few. Now that people are aware of how much I am struggling, I am starting to see a change in how they are approaching me and I think they want to help. However, because my anxiety has only gotten worse over time, I'm not sure how long I will be able to stick it out knowing that change might be on the horizon. The last thing I want to do is accept help from those around me only to turn around and quit on them so as to waste their time. Ultimately, I'm completely unsure if what I am doing at work is a good fit for me and that is essentially the root cause of my anxiety -- the lack of guidance and help only makes it worse.

What do you suggest I consider as my next step? I would like to stick around and see how things play out, but I am completely discouraged/intimidated/scared, and my anxiety is only getting worse. I can see the pros and cons of staying or going, but I'm divided. Thank you for reading!

Sorry you’re going through this, working at a job you dislike isn’t fun.

Could you possibly apply for other jobs while staying where you are for now? That way, you could transition to a new job without a gap.

Also, what about starting some type of social club at work. Maybe it’s a potluck, maybe it’s a weekly lottery pool. Anything to get coworkers talking together more is a good thing.
 

jalapeno_pretzel

DIS Veteran
Joined
May 13, 2015
I think you should keep seeing your therapist and not make any sudden changes. My suspicion is that you may have similar issues at the next job too.

Being a recent college grad can be a little unnerving. Your whole life up to this point has been somewhat mapped out, and now the future is wide open and uncertain. There are so many options and so many possibilities, and it's easy to get overwhelmed by that. My guess is that your anxiety has more to do with adulthood than it has to do with your specific job.

As for the job itself, my only advice is don't quit when mad or upset, don't burn bridges, and don't quit without a written offer for your next job.
 
  • lynxstch

    I Love Figment
    Joined
    Feb 2, 2001
    Because it's the rule----


    Hi all! As a continuation of my previous post, New Job Support Group?, I need advice in deciding what I should do in regards to my situation.

    Backstory: I am a recent college grad who now works for a large company. Though I admire the company, I really dislike my job for a number of reasons: First, I am completely isolated at work because my training has been mismanaged and my coworkers refuse to help me learn how to do my job. Second, management is aware of how "green" I am to the workforce but has somewhat unrealistic expectations of me and what I can accomplish using limited resources. Lastly, because of each of these concerns (and more) I have developed a severe case of anxiety issues and have since begun seeing a therapist for it. All in all, the stress that I have taken on in my new job has caused significant mental/emotional problems in my personal life...but there's a twist:

    I have reached out to a number of people in regards to the challenges I'm facing in and outside of the company -- a few people in HR, my bosses, and a phenomenal mentor to name a few. Now that people are aware of how much I am struggling, I am starting to see a change in how they are approaching me and I think they want to help. However, because my anxiety has only gotten worse over time, I'm not sure how long I will be able to stick it out knowing that change might be on the horizon. The last thing I want to do is accept help from those around me only to turn around and quit on them so as to waste their time. Ultimately, I'm completely unsure if what I am doing at work is a good fit for me and that is essentially the root cause of my anxiety -- the lack of guidance and help only makes it worse.

    What do you suggest I consider as my next step? I would like to stick around and see how things play out, but I am completely discouraged/intimidated/scared, and my anxiety is only getting worse. I can see the pros and cons of staying or going, but I'm divided. Thank you for reading!
    I think you should keep seeing your therapist and not make any sudden changes. My suspicion is that you may have similar issues at the next job too.

    Being a recent college grad can be a little unnerving. Your whole life up to this point has been somewhat mapped out, and now the future is wide open and uncertain. There are so many options and so many possibilities, and it's easy to get overwhelmed by that. My guess is that your anxiety has more to do with adulthood than it has to do with your specific job.

    As for the job itself, my only advice is don't quit when mad or upset, don't burn bridges, and don't quit without a written offer for your next job.

    jalapeno_pretzel said it exactly as I would have said it. It's wise advice. I wish you the best in whatever choice you make
     

    easyas123

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    May 4, 2018
    Have you verbalized your concerns over the inadequate training you received?
    Part of this may be an inability to speak up for yourself, and/or the lack of confidence to do so, and that sometimes that only comes with age/experience & maturity.
    I agree with others who recommend to stick it out a bit longer, especially since you now notice a bit of improvement. Someone mentioned not quitting this position w/o a written offer for a new position - good advice.
     
  • Allison

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 27, 2005
    I think you should keep seeing your therapist and not make any sudden changes. My suspicion is that you may have similar issues at the next job too.

    Being a recent college grad can be a little unnerving. Your whole life up to this point has been somewhat mapped out, and now the future is wide open and uncertain. There are so many options and so many possibilities, and it's easy to get overwhelmed by that. My guess is that your anxiety has more to do with adulthood than it has to do with your specific job.

    As for the job itself, my only advice is don't quit when mad or upset, don't burn bridges, and don't quit without a written offer for your next job.
    This. Exactly.
     
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    If you have anxiety you will likely continue to have it. A shift in jobs is likely not to correct the issue. I agree with continuing to treat your anxiety. I just think you have this expectation that a new job will remove the 'new job' issues that TBH many people experience.

    I started at what I would refer to as my big girl job about 6 months after I graduated college. Prior to that it was retail and before that it was working at my dad's insurance office for many years growing up with varying age-appropriate tasks. The big girl job was at an insurance company call center. Call centers can have high stessors. But at that job, and I would suspect a good amount you were given training but nowhere near enough for all the nuiances of the job. "Thrown to the wolves" was a commonplace saying as well as "fake it til you make it".

    It's good that you reached out to people. Everyone has their own communication style and along with that everyone has their own style that they respond to the best. It took a few years but I learned that I do best with the Compliment Sandwich technique. This is where there's a compliment followed by a constructive criticism followed by a compliment. I don't need babying and don't associate it with that but I found the Compliment Sandwich technique allowed me to see both the positives and the negatives. Your supervisors, managers, etc won't know this until you have that good talk with them and if you were like me and you didn't know what worked for you then ask for some help on discovering what technique works best.

    I also found that I worked best with little supervision. Micromanaging just didn't work for me. But I knew other coworkers who needed to be micromanaged.

    I say this in a gentle way---your comment of "Second, management is aware of how "green" I am to the workforce but has somewhat unrealistic expectations of me and what I can accomplish using limited resources." sounds more like a slight immaturity in your work ethic. For this reason I'm even more confident that a change in scenery may not lead to the 'grass is greener' expectation you may have. It could be a combination of lack of confidence in your own abilities, your existing anxiety, and other things but it's doubtful that you'll always experience a job utopia in your working career over your lifetime. Def. speak up if you feel you need more training and you're not getting the assistance you feel you need but many people are given limited resources in their jobs. What you do with that, in part, can be the difference between an employee who is on the path to success and an employee who will continue to struggle.

    I hope things get better for you not just on the job but also in your life :) :)
     

    sk!mom

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 30, 2000
    Backstory: I am a recent college grad who now works for a large company. Though I admire the company, I really dislike my job for a number of reasons: First, I am completely isolated at work because my training has been mismanaged and my coworkers refuse to help me learn how to do my job. Second, management is aware of how "green" I am to the workforce but has somewhat unrealistic expectations of me and what I can accomplish using limited resources. Lastly, because of each of these concerns (and more) I have developed a severe case of anxiety issues and have since begun seeing a therapist for it. All in all, the stress that I have taken on in my new job has caused significant mental/emotional problems in my personal life...but there's a twist:

    What do you suggest I consider as my next step? I would like to stick around and see how things play out, but I am completely discouraged/intimidated/scared, and my anxiety is only getting worse. I can see the pros and cons of staying or going, but I'm divided. Thank you for reading!
    I would suggest that you continue with counseling while also looking for a new job.

    Your current employers “unrealistic expectations” are the expectations of the job. Good for you, for letting them know that you need more training and support but at some point if you are unable to get a handle on it, they will need to move on. You might want to find something that better suits you before that happens.

    I will add that many of us have been there at the point when we left school and jumped into the real world of the job that we trained for. The training often doesn’t train us that well for the reality.

    Good luck to you!
     
  • Christine

    Would love to be able to sit on
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    Stick with it. The first year of any new career/job can be extremely stressful for everyone--more than they let on.

    Much of what you describe is not unusual at all. Companies are not going to train you in every function...they often have a sink or swim mentality.

    My son graduated college in June of 2018. In September of 2018 he started with a very large company. He has never said that he was not adequately trained but he feels like it's all too much for him and there are times he feels like he can't pay attention. I think he thought that the skill he learned in college would easily translate to the job, but being in the real world is way different. It's been a huge adjustment for him, but I *think* after 10 months it's starting to level out now a bit. And yes, he went to his therapist and got on some medication. He already was diagnosed with ADHD, had no longer required medication, but felt he needed to go back on it. Plus he was getting anxiety from the stress. He's doing a lot better now.

    Unless they are absolute monsters in this company (and I can't tell that from your post), I think you should stick it out for a while.
     

    Allison

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 27, 2005
    This is how the adult working world is. A new job is stressful when you are new and learning. That isn't going to change if you leave this job and go to another one.

    my coworkers refuse to help me learn how to do my job. Second, management is aware of how "green" I am to the workforce but has somewhat unrealistic expectations of me and what I can accomplish using limited resources.
    The coworkers may simply be trying to complete their own jobs as you are learning how to do it.

    Are you sure their expectations are unrealistic or are you just feeling overwhelmed because you are new?
     

    sk!mom

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 30, 2000
    Stick with it. The first year of any new career/job can be extremely stressful for everyone--more than they let on.

    Much of what you describe is not unusual at all. Companies are not going to train you in every function...they often have a sink or swim mentality.

    My son graduated college in June of 2018. In September of 2018 he started with a very large company. He has never said that he was not adequately trained but he feels like it's all too much for him and there are times he feels like he can't pay attention. I think he thought that the skill he learned in college would easily translate to the job, but being in the real world is way different. It's been a huge adjustment for him, but I *think* after 10 months it's starting to level out now a bit. And yes, he went to his therapist and got on some medication. He already was diagnosed with ADHD, had no longer required medication, but felt he needed to go back on it. Plus he was getting anxiety from the stress. He's doing a lot better now.

    Unless they are absolute monsters in this company (and I can't tell that from your post), I think you should stick it out for a while.
    My DD also graduated in May 2018. She also felt overwhelmed, underprepared, and undertrained in the first job she took. It was essentially the job taken to get her to the big city she wanted to be in. She stuck it out for 5 months, soaking up and learning all she could. After 5 months, she felt confident that it wasn’t just first job anxiety and uncertainty but rather a poor fit for her so she started looking. Within a month, the experience gained in that first job along with prior internship experience landed her a job that she has now loved for 6 months. She, of course, still had the learning curve of a new job but it felt completely different from the beginning.
     
    Last edited:

    Christine

    Would love to be able to sit on
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    My DD also graduated in May 2018. She also felt overwhelmed, underprepared, and undertrained in the first job she took. It was essentially the job taken to get her to the big city she wanted to be in. She stuck it out for 5 months, soaking up and learning all she could. After 5 months, she felt confident that it wasn’t just first job anxiety and uncertainty but rather a poor fit for her so she started looking. Within a month, the experience gained in that first job along with prior internship experience landed her a job that she has no loved for 6 months. She, of course, still had the learning curve of a new job but it felt completely different from the beginning.

    That's good that it worked out so well! Hard to know what type of situation the OP is in.
     

    Magical2017

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 2, 2016
    I hope therapy helps. It is good you have reached out to get additional training. Even if you feel your initial training was subpar, hopefully you are communicating in a positive way. Saying you wish to learn more and be more effective is more helpful than saying the people who trained you suck (I am paraphrasing, not saying you said that). If you can stick it out for a bit, the experience mayl be helpful in future job searches. Best of luck to you in your career!
     

    ronandannette

    I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!
    Joined
    May 4, 2006
    Suck it up and stay!
    ::yes:: I think you said out loud what many of us are thinking, but then again, that's through our thoroughly-reality-checked lenses. Those of us who have been "adulting" for decades have a completely different view of doing what is needful even when we don't like it. That's largely because we've been through it and out the other side, probably several times. Knowing we won't actually die from "uncomfortableness" and having a compelling need to earn a living motivates many of us.

    Unfortunately, that kind of bluntness won't carry the day with a young person. I get the impression the OP is very surprised by what has confronted her in the real world, especially if she is now working in the field she studied for. You, I and many others know what she should do and it's simple from our POV. She'll have to come to that conclusion from a bit of a more round-about direction though and I think continuing to see the shrink is a very good plan.
     
    Status
    Not open for further replies.

    Connect

    Disney News and Updates

    Daily Updates and News




    Top