Special Needs teen

[mammacaryn]

She does have a "phone" but we have it very much locked down and it only works off wifi.

That’s all you need! Download the app ahead of time and you’re good. We just double check at the internet desk that nothing else is running on our phone. The app is great with kids and communication-so much easier than the wave phone! Good luck. I’m sure that staff will work with you to figure out the best system with your daughter and help her to get in touch with you if she needs it.

 

[FigmentSpark]

Would she do well if she studied the map and maybe looked at photos from the last trip or even find photos on line of the hallways and public areas? Also, remind her that she's been on the ship once and should do better this time.

 

[Lisa F]

Since your last cruise was so long ago, do you think she would do better with not getting lost/turned around this time? My son is on the spectrum and has issues with anxiety and sometimes his memory about something gives him more anxiety than his more developed skill set later in time would warrant.

I think that you could definitely map out a method and get her into a routine to get to and from the teen club to your stateroom. That clue about the direction the globes are facing is priceless, you could even storyboard it beforehand... first you walk down the hall noting the direction of the globes until you hit an elevator lobby that will tell you where you are, the deck number and location (aft, midship, forward), and then she can figure out whether to go up or down and which direction to go based on the globes from where she is. If you teach her how to orient herself and keep it simple and methodical it might help.

The public spaces are more confusing and have less consistent landmarks so maybe you could tell her to always take the elevator to a certain deck like 7 (or if you are on 6-10 the deck you are staying on) first that is all staterooms and then follow her simple method from there. it is also quieter and less chaotic/distracting on those floors. You could create a file on her phone for her to check if she can't remember the steps involved, but sounds like she would especially if she's not overwhelmed. If it always starts with "walk until you find an elevator and take it to deck xx" she should be able to orient herself and get back to the stateroom from anywhere and then she can contact you from the comfort of her own safe space before going anywhere else.

 

[minorthr]

I have a 15 year old daughter with some special needs. She is in a self contained classrom at school, but is very verbal, appears to be fully functioning, but cannot always make the best choices and gets overwhelmed. She is hesitant to do another cruise because she got lost coming back from the teen area, which she had the "right"/priveledge given her age (not having to be signed in/out like the younger kids). Could I request that we be called or that she has to wait for us to come get her? She would like the games and can function on a non-academic level with other kids (does better with younger, but I know she can't go to the younger clubs).

Any advice?

I know this post is a month old but ill tell you about our experience with our 15 year old son that sounds similar to your daughter.

The first time we cruised in 2016 on the dream he had just turned 13 and aged out of the kids clubs. At Edge they seemed respective to him being there and offered to have schedule another staff member to be on duty if we let them know when he was coming. They made it very clear that if he left or wanted to leave they would try to encourage him to stay but would not force him to stay. Also the restrooms were on a different floor and no one would escort him to the restrooms. He ended up not going to edge at all as we were traveling with an autism group who provided us with respite care and assistance while on the cruise.

In 2017 we traveled again on the dream and he was 14. This time the people at edge and the supervisor made it seem like they really preferred he not be there at all. So once again he never went to edge

In 2018 we did a B2B on the dream and this time he was 15 and had to go to vibe. We went there and talked to the staff. They were respective with him being there but again he was free to come and go as he pleased. Also with the convoluted way you have to get there we thought there was no way he was getting there and getting back by himself so we arranged it that we would drop him off there like an hour or so before an open house then we told him not to leave until we got there and picked him up during open house. He ended up only going twice but he went which is a start.

We will see what happens this year, we have another dream cruise planned then a cruise on the wonder in feb 2020

 

[DLgal]

In 2017 we traveled again on the dream and he was 14. This time the people at edge and the supervisor made it seem like they really preferred he not be there at all. So once again he never went to edge

This makes me sad. I hate that Disney doesn't seem inclined to make strides towards being more inclusive of children with disabilities on cruise line. Other cruise lines have done a lot in this area (Celebrity, Carnival), so this IS something Disney could put some resources into, but it seems they don't want to.

For all the assistance they provide in the parks, their position on this is puzzling.

 

[Kate_45]

I would be inclined to talk to the staff at the first open house about her being able to use their phone to ring her parents wave phone when she wants to leave. A brief chat can be very reassuring.

You can then either go meet her outside, or if she's more confident you can recap the route to the cabin. Floor number, shape of fish by doors, carpet etc.

Will be interesting to see how this turns out.

Really sorry to hear about your son minorthra. Glad you eventually found a system that works for you. Hopefully the last trip gave you all the confidence to try a similar thing next time so he can enjoy the club.

 

[minorthr]

This makes me sad. I hate that Disney doesn't seem inclined to make strides towards being more inclusive of children with disabilities on cruise line. Other cruise lines have done a lot in this area (Celebrity, Carnival), so this IS something Disney could put some resources into, but it seems they don't want to.

For all the assistance they provide in the parks, their position on this is puzzling.

When it comes to none kids club aspects that are extremely accommodating. On our last B2B cruise Im not sure they could have done more for us. Some of the stuff they did for us we didn't even ask for, it was crazy how above and beyond they went.

 

[dcassetta]

This makes me sad. I hate that Disney doesn't seem inclined to make strides towards being more inclusive of children with disabilities on cruise line. Other cruise lines have done a lot in this area (Celebrity, Carnival), so this IS something Disney could put some resources into, but it seems they don't want to.

For all the assistance they provide in the parks, their position on this is puzzling.

I think the challenge is staffing. DCL just does not have the personnel to meet the needs of children that may require more close supervision. If Celebrity and Carnival are able to offer one-to-one in their kids' areas, perhaps it is because they have fewer children sailing.

The open houses are one way that DCL accommodates families, as people of all ages and abilities can enjoy the club spaces during those times.

I don't think you can compare DCL to the parks. All assistance in the parks is provided to families as a whole. There are not places in the parks where children are left without their parents.

 

[DLgal]

I think the challenge is staffing. DCL just does not have the personnel to meet the needs of children that may require more close supervision. If Celebrity and Carnival are able to offer one-to-one in their kids' areas, perhaps it is because they have fewer children sailing.

So, hire more staff that are specifically trained to deal with children with developmental disabilities. It's not like they can't afford to do so. That's my point. They could make an effort, but they don't.

Carnival and Celebrity have official designations for being Autism Friendly. I know autism is just one type of developmental disability, but the principles of communication and facilitating interactions is similar for all special needs kids. They don't provide 1:1 care in the kids areas. I'm not suggesting 1:1 ratio of care. I am suggesting having at least one kids club staff member who is specifically educated in working with special needs kids, in all three clubs, at all times. So, what would that be, like maybe 6-9 extra staff members? Or maybe they have thier current staff take some training to learn some strategies so everyone is on the same page (this is how the other cruise lines do it...They hire consultants to come aboard and do training for the kids club staff periodically).

We have done 2 Dream cruises and the experiences in the kids club during secure programming were awful. They had no idea how to deal with my son's meltdown when he was 6 and he is verbal and high functioning They basically let him spiral completely out of control due to a very minor situation that anyone with even the smallest amount of training would have been able to handle. He was basically ignored. It was very traumatizing for him and he refused to go back outside of open house hours. Frankly, that experience has kept us away from DCL and it's been now 6 years since we have done a cruise. We are waiting until our kids are just old enough to stay in the room alone when DH and I want some adult time. We are almost there now that our youngest will be 13 next month. We will give our kids the option of the teen club, which they might do to play video or computer games, but I don't expect any sort of accommodations to be made. My kids are pretty responsible and self reliant, though. I just think it's a shame that people are made to feel like their kids aren't wanted at the clubs because they might need to pay a little extra attention to them. Let's be honest, how much do those teen club CMs really have to do? Teens are pretty self sufficient in social situations like that. I imagine the CMs in those clubs are simply supervising to make sure kids aren't misbehaving.

The point I was making with the parks is that as a COMPANY, Disney seems to respect the needs of people with disabilities, but they seem to ignore the kids completely when it comes to the cruise line. It's inconsistent.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

So, hire more staff that are specifically trained to deal with children with developmental disabilities. It's not like they can't afford to do so. That's my point. They could make an effort, but they don't.

Carnival and Celebrity have official designations for being Autism Friendly. I know autism is just one type of developmental disability, but the principles of communication and facilitating interactions is similar for all special needs kids. They don't provide 1:1 care in the kids areas. I'm not suggesting 1:1 ratio of care. I am suggesting having at least one kids club staff member who is specifically educated in working with special needs kids, in all three clubs, at all times. So, what would that be, like maybe 6-9 extra staff members? Or maybe they have thier current staff take some training to learn some strategies so everyone is on the same page (this is how the other cruise lines do it...They hire consultants to come aboard and do training for the kids club staff periodically).

We have done 2 Dream cruises and the experiences in the kids club during secure programming were awful. They had no idea how to deal with my son's meltdown when he was 6 and he is verbal and high functioning They basically let him spiral completely out of control due to a very minor situation that anyone with even the smallest amount of training would have been able to handle. He was basically ignored. It was very traumatizing for him and he refused to go back outside of open house hours. Frankly, that experience has kept us away from DCL and it's been now 6 years since we have done a cruise. We are waiting until our kids are just old enough to stay in the room alone when DH and I want some adult time. We are almost there now that our youngest will be 13 next month. We will give our kids the option of the teen club, which they might do to play video or computer games, but I don't expect any sort of accommodations to be made. My kids are pretty responsible and self reliant, though. I just think it's a shame that people are made to feel like their kids aren't wanted at the clubs because they might need to pay a little extra attention to them. Let's be honest, how much do those teen club CMs really have to do? Teens are pretty self sufficient in social situations like that. I imagine the CMs in those clubs are simply supervising to make sure kids aren't misbehaving.

The point I was making with the parks is that as a COMPANY, Disney seems to respect the needs of people with disabilities, but they seem to ignore the kids completely when it comes to the cruise line. It's inconsistent.

Here is the thing about this. The lack of effort to discipline or redirect children in the kids club is a DIRECT result of parents who feel that their children should not be corrected or redirected by staff and complain about it, LOUDLY. The "customer is always right " mentality has led to this. My DD never enjoyed the kids club for this reason.Unless and until Disney's stance on this changes what you are suggestion wouldn't work.

 

[Shellyred8]

I, myself, an average middle-aged lady, once ended up at the front of the ship when trying to get to Cabanas. So, you can tell your daughter it's not just her that has issues with getting lost on those big boats!

 

[Lisa F]

Here is the thing about this. The lack of effort to discipline or redirect children in the kids club is a DIRECT result of parents who feel that their children should not be corrected or redirected by staff and complain about it, LOUDLY. The "customer is always right " mentality has led to this. My DD never enjoyed the kids club for this reason.Unless and until Disney's stance on this changes what you are suggestion wouldn't work.

You don't have to be a genius or even a specialist to be able to help kids redirect though. My son is on the spectrum but also very high functioning and very intelligent. At 10 in 5th grade he still sometimes has meltdowns in school, but that is because he is put under pressures at school to perform in ways he is not in leisure activites. He has been in a "regular" summer camp his whole life, mostly in the care of what I consider to be kids... 18-22 year old college students... with no real training in childcare, let alone special needs childcare. But with him being identified as having special needs and some basically intelligent counselors being told a few go-to things they can do to help him out if he needs it, he has had a very positive experience there.

If Disney had a specialist in each of the clubs who is actually trained to keep an eye on higher functioning special needs kids, it would go a long way. They wouldn't need to discipline all the children for every little thing, but just having a go-to person who knows who your kid is and who can help smooth over any bumps in the road with a little extra support and maybe provide training to other counselors about a few simple techniques that they can do to help kids who have a harder time in social situations would be invaluable to many children. There are many "textbook" things that you can do and if the child is REALLY having a hard time, contact the parent before things get too nutso out of control even though they don't typically do that with older kids.

I don't think that is a whole lot to ask, and I agree that Disney could be doing a bit more to support special needs on the ships. For a lot of high functioning kids who don't need a TON of extra care and can mostly function in a mainstreamed situation, a little bit of extra support goes a very long way. Like the ability to say "Let's text your mom before you go" EVEN THOUGH it is a teen they are dealing with or "why don't we go in this other room?" when a kid who has been identified to you as having special needs starts to become upset rather than assuming it's a spoiled, misbehaved child tantrum. Kids who have been identified as needing a little extra help would obviously have the permission of their parents to receive it.

For me it is not a deal breaker as one of the things my son is good at is advocating for himself but I deal with a lot of stuff that parents of neurotypical kids don't deal with so I can see how the addition of one extra staff member who knows what they are doing could really make it or break it for tons of kids. Obviously there is only so much Disney can do in this situation but I agree that having someone on staff to help smooth over special needs issues would be a good thing. Not having it won't stop me from cruising but I think it would be a nice thing if they had it.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

So, hire more staff that are specifically trained to deal with children with developmental disabilities. It's not like they can't afford to do so. That's my point. They could make an effort, but they don't.

The issue here is there's just not the space onboard for specialized cast members. Most of the staff/crew perform other jobs. Hiring XX more people who basically have to be on call for the kid's club only all day/night just isn't likely.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

You don't have to be a genius or even a specialist to be able to help kids redirect though. My son is on the spectrum but also very high functioning and very intelligent. At 10 in 5th grade he still sometimes has meltdowns in school, but that is because he is put under pressures at school to perform in ways he is not in leisure activites. He has been in a "regular" summer camp his whole life, mostly in the care of what I consider to be kids... 18-22 year old college students... with no real training in childcare, let alone special needs childcare. But with him being identified as having special needs and some basically intelligent counselors being told a few go-to things they can do to help him out if he needs it, he has had a very positive experience there.

If Disney had a specialist in each of the clubs who is actually trained to keep an eye on higher functioning special needs kids, it would go a long way. They wouldn't need to discipline all the children for every little thing, but just having a go-to person who knows who your kid is and who can help smooth over any bumps in the road with a little extra support and maybe provide training to other counselors about a few simple techniques that they can do to help kids who have a harder time in social situations would be invaluable to many children. There are many "textbook" things that you can do and if the child is REALLY having a hard time, contact the parent before things get too nutso out of control even though they don't typically do that with older kids.

I don't think that is a whole lot to ask, and I agree that Disney could be doing a bit more to support special needs on the ships. For a lot of high functioning kids who don't need a TON of extra care and can mostly function in a mainstreamed situation, a little bit of extra support goes a very long way. Like the ability to say "Let's text your mom before you go" EVEN THOUGH it is a teen they are dealing with or "why don't we go in this other room?" when a kid who has been identified to you as having special needs starts to become upset rather than assuming it's a spoiled, misbehaved child tantrum. Kids who have been identified as needing a little extra help would obviously have the permission of their parents to receive it.

For me it is not a deal breaker as one of the things my son is good at is advocating for himself but I deal with a lot of stuff that parents of neurotypical kids don't deal with so I can see how the addition of one extra staff member who knows what they are doing could really make it or break it for tons of kids. Obviously there is only so much Disney can do in this situation but I agree that having someone on staff to help smooth over special needs issues would be a good thing. Not having it won't stop me from cruising but I think it would be a nice thing if they had it.

I agree with you that it needs to be done, but I don't think it will ever happen on Disney, because of the way they handle the clubs. It isn't and issue of disciplining for "every little thing" they don't intervene in ANYTHING. They don't redirect anyone. It's a chaotic free for all. I don't see them being willing to step in in the case fo a special needs child because thqat gets even more complicated. Not saying it's what SHOULD be done, but it's the reality of the situation.

 

[Dug720]

The issue here is there's just not the space onboard for specialized cast members. Most of the staff/crew perform other jobs. Hiring XX more people who basically have to be on call for the kid's club only all day/night just isn't likely.

This. Plus it is a slippery slope. While it would be awesome to have someone who can deal with high functioning kids, what happens with the parent who has a kid that isn't as high functioning? They'll be raising cain because they are accommodating Johnny, but their Susie has different needs and there is no one to help her. And so forth and so on. Also, what happens to that person on cruises where there are no kids with special needs?

I'm not saying that some additional training shouldn't happen. But staffing for one type of special needs opens them up to a whole other range of issues.

 

[dcassetta]

Carnival and Celebrity have official designations for being Autism Friendly. I know autism is just one type of developmental disability, but the principles of communication and facilitating interactions is similar for all special needs kids. They don't provide 1:1 care in the kids areas. I'm not suggesting 1:1 ratio of care. I am suggesting having at least one kids club staff member who is specifically educated in working with special needs kids, in all three clubs, at all times. So, what would that be, like maybe 6-9 extra staff members? Or maybe they have thier current staff take some training to learn some strategies so everyone is on the same page (this is how the other cruise lines do it...They hire consultants to come aboard and do training for the kids club staff periodically).

I agree with you that it needs to be done, but I don't think it will ever happen on Disney, because of the way they handle the clubs. It isn't and issue of disciplining for "every little thing" they don't intervene in ANYTHING. They don't redirect anyone. It's a chaotic free for all. I don't see them being willing to step in in the case fo a special needs child because thqat gets even more complicated. Not saying it's what SHOULD be done, but it's the reality of the situation.

Then I am glad that families with children who have needs that Disney cannot meet have other cruise options like Carnival and Celebrity.

 

[DLgal]

Then I am glad that families with children who have needs that Disney cannot meet have other cruise options like Carnival and Celebrity.

Wow, how sympathetic of you.

 

[DLgal]

You don't have to be a genius or even a specialist to be able to help kids redirect though. My son is on the spectrum but also very high functioning and very intelligent. At 10 in 5th grade he still sometimes has meltdowns in school, but that is because he is put under pressures at school to perform in ways he is not in leisure activites. He has been in a "regular" summer camp his whole life, mostly in the care of what I consider to be kids... 18-22 year old college students... with no real training in childcare, let alone special needs childcare. But with him being identified as having special needs and some basically intelligent counselors being told a few go-to things they can do to help him out if he needs it, he has had a very positive experience there.

If Disney had a specialist in each of the clubs who is actually trained to keep an eye on higher functioning special needs kids, it would go a long way. They wouldn't need to discipline all the children for every little thing, but just having a go-to person who knows who your kid is and who can help smooth over any bumps in the road with a little extra support and maybe provide training to other counselors about a few simple techniques that they can do to help kids who have a harder time in social situations would be invaluable to many children. There are many "textbook" things that you can do and if the child is REALLY having a hard time, contact the parent before things get too nutso out of control even though they don't typically do that with older kids.

I don't think that is a whole lot to ask, and I agree that Disney could be doing a bit more to support special needs on the ships. For a lot of high functioning kids who don't need a TON of extra care and can mostly function in a mainstreamed situation, a little bit of extra support goes a very long way. Like the ability to say "Let's text your mom before you go" EVEN THOUGH it is a teen they are dealing with or "why don't we go in this other room?" when a kid who has been identified to you as having special needs starts to become upset rather than assuming it's a spoiled, misbehaved child tantrum. Kids who have been identified as needing a little extra help would obviously have the permission of their parents to receive it.

For me it is not a deal breaker as one of the things my son is good at is advocating for himself but I deal with a lot of stuff that parents of neurotypical kids don't deal with so I can see how the addition of one extra staff member who knows what they are doing could really make it or break it for tons of kids. Obviously there is only so much Disney can do in this situation but I agree that having someone on staff to help smooth over special needs issues would be a good thing. Not having it won't stop me from cruising but I think it would be a nice thing if they had it.

Thank you. Yes. It's really not that hard. They don't even have to hire more people. They can just train up a few of their existing cast members. It's really not rocket science.

And I wasn't suggesting anyone reprimand or discipline ANYONE. What kids with disabilities need is understanding and some slightly different communication styles and a bit more help joining in with a group activity. Sometimes, they need a quiet place to retreat to if they become overwhelmed. The situation with my son didn't involve any other children. It was a miscommunication with a CM who just had NO idea how to communicate with a 6 year old who had the verbal skills of a toddler. My son got very frustrated because she wasn't understanding him and he just spiraled out of control. It was something so stupid that I could not believe the CM couldn't figure out how to handle it (he was coloring and needed a new sheet and the CM could not figure that out) This was after we had spent a lot of time in the club during open house and had explained his communication deficits with several staff members, all of whom assured us he would be fine if we left him there. To compound the problem, they called my wave phone and it never came through so my son was melting down for 30 minutes before I got there and when I arrived an hour after leaving him, I heard him from down the hall, screaming and crying hysterically. He was literally trying to escape the club and NO ONE was doing anything to even try to help him calm down. I was so upset.

 

[Lisa F]

Thank you. Yes. It's really not that hard. They don't even have to hire more people. They can just train up a few of their existing cast members. It's really not rocket science.

And I wasn't suggesting anyone reprimand or discipline ANYONE. What kids with disabilities need is understanding and some slightly different communication styles and a bit more help joining in with a group activity. Sometimes, they need a quiet place to retreat to if they become overwhelmed. The situation with my son didn't involve any other children. It was a miscommunication with a CM who just had NO idea how to communicate with a 6 year old who had the verbal skills of a toddler. My son got very frustrated because she wasn't understanding him and he just spiraled out of control. It was something so stupid that I could not believe the CM couldn't figure out how to handle it (he was coloring and needed a new sheet and the CM could not figure that out) This was after we had spent a lot of time in the club during open house and had explained his communication deficits with several staff members, all of whom assured us he would be fine if we left him there. To compound the problem, they called my wave phone and it never came through so my son was melting down for 30 minutes before I got there and when I arrived an hour after leaving him, I heard him from down the hall, screaming and crying hysterically. He was literally trying to escape the club and NO ONE was doing anything to even try to help him calm down. I was so upset.

it is tough and NO ONE gets it unless they've been there. It's about 100x more frustrating when you know how little it would have taken to go down a different path.

Like I said, my son has successfully gone to "regular" camp since Kindergarten and at first I was very worried knowing it was just a bunch of kids who had no special training who were the counselors... I know how truly little it takes to make a huge difference in a lot of these kids and the "play book" is not really complicated to be honest and anyone with an ounce of compassion would be glad to know what to do in certain situations. There are basic techniques that help with ALL kids but especially kids with certain issues and it sounds like the counselors could do with a little more training on it.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. My son's first cruise was when he was 9 so he was very able to advocate for himself, but he still did not care for the chaos of the kid's clubs... I am hoping he has a better time at the edge, all of the videos we saw of it show it much more empty and the activites sound REALLY interesting to him (he DID like the structured activities of the club like super sloppy science).

 

[PrincessShmoo]

They can just train up a few of their existing cast members.

And then those "few existing cast members" are on call all day/night for whenever you want to leave your child at the club?