Spending money...

[STAYC18]

Question: if your children are going to Disney with their dad would you send them with spending money....

 

[kohlby]

Wouldn't their dad take care of that?

I'd encourage them to save up some money if they wanted extra spending money.

 

[STAYC18]

no we are giving them spending money but when it gone ....but i would hate for them to use their spending money to buy their mother, step dad, and 2 siblings souvieres (sp)...thats all... i think it would be rather nice if their mother gave them $$ and said pick us out something...

 

[Mama Who]

Question: if your children are going to Disney with their dad would you send them with spending money....

When I take my child to Disney his father does not send him spending money. When his father takes him, I assume he will handle that. I send him with spending money if he's going with a non-parent. I think if dad is an equal parent he should be prepared to fund all aspects of the vacation he has chosen to take his kid on.

 

[tms295psu]

Question: if your children are going to Disney with their dad would you send them with spending money....

How old are they?

If they are old enough to *not have someone basically take their money, lets face it... there are parents that pocket their kids Birthday cash!* I'd say give them a little money and tell them to enjoy their trip! Not necessarily give them all the spending money they will need.

Our family gives little cash gifts for random occasions... grammy gave my daughter 5 dollars when we were having a "mommy and me day" (lunch and some lite shopping). My daughter was thrilled!!! but the money ended up in her piggy when we got home.

 

[Mama Who]

How old are they?

If they are old enough to *not have someone basically take their money, lets face it... there are parents that pocket their kids Birthday cash!* I'd say give them a little money and tell them to enjoy their trip!

Based on her second post in the thread it sounds like she is Dad's wife or girlfriend, not Mom.

 

[tms295psu]

Based on her second post in the thread it sounds like she is Dad's wife or girlfriend, not Mom.

If the question were rephrased: should the non-traveling parent contribute to spending money in general? I'd say... it would be a nice gesture but not expected. I'd give some... If the non-traveling parent expects a gift/souvenir, then they should send $$ to cover it. Would I freak as the parent traveling/paying if my kid wanted to by their other parent a gift... No!

Then again, ppl like my BIL's ex... Told her son to either return the gift bought w/ his dad's money or she'd throw it away. (he was about 8 or 9 @ the time) way to confuse a child that loves both their parents!

 

[kohlby]

Nope, the mother doesn't have to send them with spending money. If the mother expects the kids to pick out gifts for everyone in the family, then it would be different. When my grandparents took us on trips, my parents did send us with some spending money and we saved some - but we always bought gifts for family members not on the trip. At Disney, my kids buy one thing each unless they've saved up extra money. Very little spending money is needed for my kids. ($50 for all three kids combined is the most we've spent!)

 

[STAYC18]

so they should use their spending money which will be about $50 on souvies for mom and siblings... i just wanna make sure cuz I will not have extra money for it... $4000 trip you think she could them give 20 bucks or so...really...and before people bite my head off I am funding this trip not my husband...

 

[Maggie'sMom]

When I take my child to Disney his father does not send him spending money. When his father takes him, I assume he will handle that. I send him with spending money if he's going with a non-parent. I think if dad is an equal parent he should be prepared to fund all aspects of the vacation he has chosen to take his kid on.

This is how we handle it. Now, if I asked my DD to buy something for me while at WDW with her dad, I would give her money for it. But that's only if I specifically asked for something. If I didn't ask for something, but she wanted to buy me something as a gift, then she would use her own spending money.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

so they should use their spending money which will be about $50 on souvies for mom and siblings... i just wanna make sure cuz I will not have extra money for it... $4000 trip you think she could them give 20 bucks or so...really...and before people bite my head off I am funding this trip not my husband...

If that's what they want to do, then definitely. But make sure they are clear ahead of time that what they have is what they have. You won't be giving them more if they use that $50 up.

 

[Mama Who]

so they should use their spending money which will be about $50 on souvies for mom and siblings... i just wanna make sure cuz I will not have extra money for it... $4000 trip you think she could them give 20 bucks or so...really...and before people bite my head off I am funding this trip not my husband...

Nobody said they should use their money on their mother or siblings. I certainly don't expect presents for myself, my husband and my daughter when my son goes somewhere with his father. If I wanted him to bring something for his sister I'd give him money. If I don't, his father can safely assume that I have no expectations.

Regardless of who is paying between you and your husband, this child's *father* is taking her on vacation. She's traveling with a parent and if either parent ought to be giving them money, it's the father whose wife is apparently paying for a very nice and very expensive vacation. As you said with regards to mom- YOU spent $4000 on a trip. Surely Dad could give her $20 or so.

Your lavish gift is a thoughtful and generous thing. It does not require her mother to help fund her father's custodial time. Whether he keeps her home to watch movies on tv or lets his wife splurge on a trip to Disney, he is still the parent in charge and responsible for expenses. Unless there was a prior agreement that mom would subsidize his parenting expenses, this is not her job to fund.

I think it is lovely that you are taking everyone on this trip. I think your husband ought to be stepping up on the spending money front for the child who isn't yours. As you said, you're already spending quite a bit. This is his job as a parent and you should step back and let/make him handle it. You've gone above and beyond already.

 

[tinkerpea]

I am a mother to 3 boys my twins have a different dad,my hubby has a good job in the RAF and we take the boys to Disney every other yr that my DH pays for,He brings the children up as if they are his even though the boys see their dad alot!
They call both daddy! Now when my boys go on a little caravan trip with dad then we give them spending money,its not expected but i do it as they are my children!! He always makes sure the boys bring their brother back a present bought by HIM not the with the boys money.
Now when we take the boys to Disney for 3 wks the dad has NEVER given a penny to them for spending money BUT a present for dad is always brought back picked by the boys as they ask to do this.....He has never remarried got a GF or has any other children so it is only Dad we buy for!
So yes i would send my children with a small amount of money for themselves to spend on them! If i wanted a present brought back for my other child though I would (if i did not think one would be gotten for them by the other parent) give money for that reason seperate.

P.s I think what your doing is wonderful there has been so muchon these threads recently about step-parents knowing their place etc and i dont agree with it,If the child is under that step-parents roof or the parent is married to another and they want to be a good role model and parent that child then thats great! My Dh is the most amazing dad to the twins and they get alot because of him,No things was not always easy between the dad and DH/myself but we all get along pretty well now, He knows when under my roof the boys will respect their other dad, and that he will be parenting them!

 

[STAYC18]

When I take my child to Disney his father does not send him spending money. When his father takes him, I assume he will handle that. I send him with spending money if he's going with a non-parent. I think if dad is an equal parent he should be prepared to fund all aspects of the vacation he has chosen to take his kid on.

So I should purchase the souvies for their mother, step dad and half sister and brother...

 

[STAYC18]

When I take my child to Disney his father does not send him spending money. When his father takes him, I assume he will handle that. I send him with spending money if he's going with a non-parent. I think if dad is an equal parent he should be prepared to fund all aspects of the vacation he has chosen to take his kid on.

So I should purchase the souvies for their mother, step dad and half sister and brother...

 

[momto2sweeties]

So I should purchase the souvies for their mother, step dad and half sister and brother...

why would anyone be purchasing souvenirs for them? If they personally want something from Disney World then it is their job to provide the child with money. It is the child's father's job to buy souvenirs for his child who is actually going on the trip.

 

[Fjobe]

When I take my kids to Disney, I don't give them any money (unless a GC for a holiday), and I wouldn't give them money if anyone else was bringing them either. I would for sure give them some extra chores and encourage them to save gift money, etc. Last year, although the girls each had around $100 saved, they only spent about $25 each while they were there (they each bought a cheap jewelry box and princess stuffed toy which are still used daily). DS spent more - he built a car at build a ride, but he can save money better than most adults (he has actually saved up and purchased his own ipad).

As far as gifts for other people, if you think that is important, then I would encourage them to do so regardless of whether their mother contributes. You could discuss an amount ahead of time and set that aside (pulled out of their spending money). Another option would be to discuss just getting them each a post card. Just as much thought could go into finding the perfect postcard as any other gift.

 

[STAYC18]

ok i'm not gonna worry about...i doubt she'll give them anything and if they wanna spend their spending money so be it...but what they have is what they have...i'm sure we will buy them a t-shirt and some ears, so they should have enough...

 

[krismanda]

I agree with giving them their set amount and letting them spend it as they like. Maybe they will want to bring something back for their family, maybe they won't.

I have no opinion on who should be funding souvenirs. After spending 4k on a trip, squabbling over a few bucks for souvenirs seems silly.

I don't know, you seem to resent the $ you are paying for the trip. Maybe you should talk to your dh about contributing more. I don't think it will be a fun trip if there is undercurrents of resentment.

 

[xanphylus]

When we went, it was me DH, DS and DD (actually step-daughter). But, my DD lives with us 10 months out of the year. She didn't buy anything for her mom, brother or sister- but she never asked to. If she had, I probably would have helped her buy a little something for each of them. Nothing major, but something so that she could give it to them when she saw them again. Let the kids get some of the free sticker DVC gives out in the parks, a post card or two and maybe some stuff like that. It's cheap and it still shows that the kiddos thought about the others while they were on vacation. Maybe they could have Mickey sign a postcard and mail it while they are down there- that would be cute too!