Splitting costs with family

[MusicalAstronaut]

Hey, dumb question for you adult travelers. I've been talking with my sister about taking a weekend trip in June. She said something like "and if we both pay half it's a great price" when discussing hotel options. If it's me, her, and her boyfriend, should they pay half or 2/3rds? If it wasn't my sister I'd say 2/3rds, but I feel like she won't see it the same as me (each person in the room paying their portion) and she'll see it as her paying more than me. Thoughts?

 

[tamerbelles]

I'm with you and it's split into price per person for a hotel. Each person takes up space (and bathroom time!) so that's what I see as fair. She wouldn't make you pay for half of the total for park tickets, would she? No, because you only need one and they need two.

My family of four went with my in-laws last year, so I divided the cost of the room by six. My family paid for four people, and my in-laws paid for two people. We did the same with airport parking, Uber/Lyft rides and Memory Maker to keep it fair and consistent.

For everything else, like tickets and food, it's easy to pay separately or clearly see what each person owes.

 

[RamblingMad]

Hey, dumb question for you adult travelers. I've been talking with my sister about taking a weekend trip in June. She said something like "and if we both pay half it's a great price" when discussing hotel options. If it's me, her, and her boyfriend, should they pay half or 2/3rds? If it wasn't my sister I'd say 2/3rds, but I feel like she won't see it the same as me (each person in the room paying their portion) and she'll see it as her paying more than me. Thoughts?

Sounds like a disaster. If it was just her, sure. With both of them, you’ve become the third wheel footing a disproportionate amount of the bill.

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

Sounds like a disaster. If it was just her, sure. With both of them, you’ve become the third wheel footing a disproportionate amount of the bill.

To be fair, I never even invited the boyfriend, I invited my sister. Apparently they come as a package deal.

 

[Nilmerg]

Are you getting a two room condo? If that's the case and each "party" has there own room then splitting it, 50/50 isn't unrealistic. I don't know, I usually get an RV spot at FW and tell everyone they can come and pitch a tent without having to pay anything for the campsite. Every family is different so while I understand your quandary ours would handle it differently. Wish you the best with it tho!

 

[RamblingMad]

To be fair, I never even invited the boyfriend, I invited my sister. Apparently they come as a package deal.

Then make that clear. This is a sister trip.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Lately its just been my sister and I but in the past when it was my sister, my niece, and I we would still do it half and half for the hotel and obviously she would pay for my niece's dining/ticket.

When it was my sister, niece, me, and my friend so 4 people we split the hotel 3 ways so still giving my sister a break since she also had to pay for dining/ticket for my niece.

In your particular situation I think I'd decide based on... are they a couple as in their money is pooled or is he bringing his money to the table and she is bringing hers?
If they are one unit then I'd split half and half. If their finances are each their own then I'd ask about splitting it 3 ways.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

To be fair, I never even invited the boyfriend, I invited my sister. Apparently they come as a package deal.

If you only want it to be you and your sister then tell her that.

 

[SG131]

This just sounds like a disaster in the making. If I were you I would just say you changed your mind and try to do a solo trip some other time. I wouldn’t love sharing a room with the boyfriend but I guess that depends on how close you are. But I definitely don’t think it’s fair for her to assume it would be split 50/50. I would back out now cause it sounds like this could cause some drama.

 

[FrancisBenoit]

For family I'd go 50/50. It'd be nice if they recognized the gesture and maybe bought your dinner one night or something. Nothing "equal" value here but at least something to say thank you.

But this is how I'd deal with my family. Then again, a bit used to being the short end. Buying xmas gifts for each of the couple when it's only me etc.

 

[polyqueen]

Understand that I am old, but also know that I fully realize that every family is different. But, me, my sister AND her boyfriend in ONE room? No thank you. And it would not be about the money.

 

[jo-jo]

Also a good many of the rides are for 2 in a row/seat. I'm thinking you'll be riding by yourself a lot.

Doesn't sound like a sister trip to me.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

I'd get my own room, and have the two of them get their own room. This removes the ambiguity over how to divide the costs. They pay for their room, and I pay for my room.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Understand that I am old, but also know that I fully realize that every family is different. But, me, my sister AND her boyfriend in ONE room? No thank you. And it would not be about the money.

So what is it about?
Is it just because its a fox in the hen house?
I'm sure they could figure out how to change in separate areas and not sleep naked lol.
Or you really think the sister and BF are gonna full on make love?
Kinda doubt that...

Heck even my mom and grandma stayed in the same room as my dad (then just my mom's boyfriend), and his friend went to Disney for the first time in the early 70's.
There was no funny business going on there.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Do what makes you comfortable finance-wise but be upfront about it. I wouldn't want to spend a trip stewing over feeling like I paid more than I should.

Honestly when we do trips together as family it's split amongst number of people. Using the OP that would mean it's split 3 ways. We find that honestly more fair to us.

For example when we went to Vegas my mom joined. We had a suite with a separate bedroom for my husband and I but my mom was in the living area sleeping on the pull out sofa. We split 3 ways not 2 ways.

When we would go to the lake and get a for rent by owner condo with 5 people (2 couples 1 solo adult) rather than split it 3 ways we split it by number of people. That makes a huge difference in the solo person's amount.

I do understand why the sister said 50/50 though it's just not how we would opt to split it. Your sister is probably thinking it in terms of the boyfriend just being part of it but in reality he is an additional person there.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Understand that I am old, but also know that I fully realize that every family is different. But, me, my sister AND her boyfriend in ONE room? No thank you. And it would not be about the money.

In the earlier years of knowing my husband we'd share rooms with the family members often my husband's sisters (step-father-in-law and mother-in-law both snore like bears so we rarely shared an actual room with them it would have to be separate sleeping rooms within the room to do that), even just after we got married I did that too. It saved immensely on cost and while it wasn't the most ideal cost was the salient factor to us being in our early to mid-20s.

For several years now though I want my own privacy. I feel like I paid my dues lol so no more sharing for us. We would make an exception if my husband's sister-in-law came on her own with us so it was just the 3 of us but she's majority of the time with her boyfriend so I doubt that would come up often at all.

 

[ludari]

I would definitely insist that your sister and her boyfriend pay 2/3 because that's fair unless you can eliminate the boyfriend from the trip. If you don't want to mention the 2/3 cost or eliminating the boyfriend maybe you can asks for them to pay for groceries, rental car, airport shuttle, gas (if you are driving) or some other expense to equal out the cost.

 

[YawningDodo]

Do what makes you comfortable finance-wise but be upfront about it. I wouldn't want to spend a trip stewing over feeling like I paid more than I should.

This. Absolutely this!

I'm of the opinion that there's no wrong way to split trip costs as long as it's negotiated clearly and everyone agrees on the outcome. On the majority of trips I've shared with friends, we've split everything equally by person (so when my housemate and I traveled with two married friends, each person paid a quarter share regardless of relationship status). The last time I went to WDW with my mom, though, we went halvsies on the resort but then she paid for all the food because it was her decision to upgrade to a deluxe and incur the extra costs associated with it. I've arranged at least one trip where I offered to pay the full cost of the resort on the logic that it'd cost me the same whether I was solo or had someone in the room with me, and my companion just paid all their additional expenses beyond the room.

But all of those were pre-negotiated, and all of them were things that both/all parties were happy with. My starting baseline for those kind of financial negotiations is an assumption that every person who is going will be paying an equal share; anything different is an adjustment that must be agreed upon. So yeah, I'm with you on assuming that sister and boyfriend should expect to each pay 1/3 share since you had not offered to pay half. I get why she made the assumption on half an half (she'd be paying half if it were just her, and it doesn't actually cost extra to put him in the room--unless I've misunderstood how Disney charges), but it's not what I've ever assumed or had a friend assume on a shared trip. I don't think you're out of line at all.

I'm going to refrain from making assumptions about your relationship with the boyfriend or how you feel about him coming since you didn't really say. I'd just say that whatever your preferences are about him coming or not coming, about what share he has to pay, etc., you have to communicate it. I know if it were me I'd feel uncomfortable having to speak my preferences so directly, but it's better to deal with it now than spend the trip resenting either of them for having misread the situation.

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

This. Absolutely this!

I'm of the opinion that there's no wrong way to split trip costs as long as it's negotiated clearly and everyone agrees on the outcome. On the majority of trips I've shared with friends, we've split everything equally by person (so when my housemate and I traveled with two married friends, each person paid a quarter share regardless of relationship status). The last time I went to WDW with my mom, though, we went halvsies on the resort but then she paid for all the food because it was her decision to upgrade to a deluxe and incur the extra costs associated with it. I've arranged at least one trip where I offered to pay the full cost of the resort on the logic that it'd cost me the same whether I was solo or had someone in the room with me, and my companion just paid all their additional expenses beyond the room.

But all of those were pre-negotiated, and all of them were things that both/all parties were happy with. My starting baseline for those kind of financial negotiations is an assumption that every person who is going will be paying an equal share; anything different is an adjustment that must be agreed upon. So yeah, I'm with you on assuming that sister and boyfriend should expect to each pay 1/3 share since you had not offered to pay half. I get why she made the assumption on half an half (she'd be paying half if it were just her, and it doesn't actually cost extra to put him in the room--unless I've misunderstood how Disney charges), but it's not what I've ever assumed or had a friend assume on a shared trip. I don't think you're out of line at all.

I'm going to refrain from making assumptions about your relationship with the boyfriend or how you feel about him coming since you didn't really say. I'd just say that whatever your preferences are about him coming or not coming, about what share he has to pay, etc., you have to communicate it. I know if it were me I'd feel uncomfortable having to speak my preferences so directly, but it's better to deal with it now than spend the trip resenting either of them for having misread the situation.

Disney does add extra fees if there are more than 2 adults in the room, so him coming does add to the price. :/ I texted them both yesterday saying we'd split it three ways and they didn't respond. I'm fine with paying for the room myself and going solo, but I'll switch to a cheaper resort if that's the case.

 

[Gaugersaurus]

Maybe I'm the strange one in this case but if I invite someone to join me on what would've been a solo trip then I pay for the hotel. I'm going regardless of if that person joins me or not so it's not about splitting the cost. They pay for their food, flights, and tickets though.

That being said I also wouldn't expect someone I invited to invite a guest of their own. Maybe tell your sister that if just she joins you that you'll cover the hotel but if the boyfriend joins then the cost will be split 3 ways. I can understand the joined at the hip relationship, I've been there, but if she's footing the bill for her boyfriend then maybe making it cost prohibitive will turn it into a sister or solo trip