Suggestions for dealing with school

[sam_gordon]

Sending a carefully worded request from your attorney might result in a better response.

Really? Bringing in an attorney? Why? Because the school didn't call the parent when a child had a bloody nose?

Sorry, OP. While I do think you're entitled to some answers in regards to the broken arm, the bloody nose wouldn't even be on my radar. And waiting two months to get answers regarding the broken arm doesn't seem like you're too concerned about it.

Unless I missed it, has the age of the child been mentioned yet? I assume <12 if they stay for after school care.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My wife tries to avoid confrontation if at all possible. Even when she knows that she shouldn't. Many times I deal with it for her or can convince her she needs to. This one she would not allow me to go in and speak with them.

My husband is a lot like that I know exactly how it is to live with a spouse like that. I do think he would be more active with our own child like in this case he would have talked to them with the broken arm because it's a broken bone.. however, but I understand how that mentality is.

I think this is a time for meeting in the middle with your son being involved--a talk with the school or nurse (whomever you'd like to start with) needs to occur if for nothing else of setting the expectations for the future, however as you have mentioned how you are you'd have to dial it back/ensure you kept your cool (at least when the situations call for more calmness like this probably does).

If you're still going to have your wife review what you'd be sending just make sure it isn't so soft that doesn't give the message clear whatever that message is supposed to be. I know that can happen sometimes with my husband where the end goal gets muddled in the interest of not appearing to be ruffling feathers.

 

[Colleen27]

I don't think any real tact is required to request the school contact you any time one of your children has an issue that sends them to the school nurse (or whoever serves as one, if you don't have a dedicated nurse). I'd go with blunt and straightforward myself in a politely but firmly worded email, for the paper trail, as well as in a call to the building principal.

Our school's policy is to inform the parents any time there is an office visit for illness or injury, even if it isn't serious enough to require the student be picked up from school. I've literally gotten emails from our building secretary (we don't have a nurse) like "Just wanted to give you a heads up, your daughter fell on the playground playing basketball and scraped up her hands and knees. I bandaged the scrapes and gave her an ice pack for her left knee because she said that's what hurt the worst. It doesn't look serious but you might want to keep an eye out for swelling just in case." Older DD had semi-frequent nosebleeds that would start out of nowhere for no discernable reason and the email trail was actually really helpful when we brought it up with her doctor at her next well visit because it gave me a record of how often it happened. And eventually, she learned to manage them on her own (and then they tapered off anyway) so she wasn't going to the office every time.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I have a history of getting upset and losing all tact and decorum. The words that were used in my exclamations about the school would get me kicked right off the DIS. She's pissed but so afraid of confrontation that she doesn't want a direct answer. She wants to ask some people she knows the next time she sees them in person what they think the policy is.

Sounds like you guys need to find a happy medium! If your goal is to penalize the nurse for what didn’t happen, then by all means, go in with guns ablazin’! But if your goal is to better understand the policies so that your child(ren) and you have a good relationship with the nurse for the future (which is a really nice thing to have when your kids are in school), then try having a talk with her first. If you are unsatisfied, then you can certainly involve administrators. But I would give her a chance first.

 

[Southernmiss]

One nurse for three schools. How can the nurse be attentive to all medical situations that arise? I am guessing that when the nurse isn't there either the teachers or the office personnel are left to decide when to call parents for medical situations.

I do think a visit to the office to speak to the principal calmly is appropriate, but I can't see going in fully loaded.

We had an opposite situation of over communication about kid ailments. Our 3rd son's kindergarten teacher's assistant called me just about every day with that day's newest complaint from our son. He had nothing wrong with him, just didn't want to be at school. She was a grandmother and treated our son like a grandchild. I am glad he had caring adults around, but...

 

[Kennywood]

Whatever you do, have written documentation and proof-of-receipt of the discussions. Also, include the word "culpable" or culpability". These steps will remove any chance that they didn't know about the issue, the severity of the issue, or their responsibility.

Be clear in what happened, what you expect to be done, and a definite timeline for compliance. Give them the opportunity to address the issue to your satisfaction, but also let them know that you'll need to take further steps, should their resolution not be satisfactory.

Pin....them...down.

 

[dez1978]

Nose bleeds aren't a big deal IMO unless they think it's broken. My kids get them all the time. The broken arm, I'd want to speak with the nurse about what happened when he went to the office that made her feel that a call to you wasn't needed.

My kid got a concussion at school and no one called me. He fell and smacked his head on the floor pretty hard (in art class of all places). The teacher didn't even send him to the nurse. His regular teacher did later apparently. He didn't say anything to me until AFTER wrestling practice that night. In his defense he was 7 so I don't think he understood it was a big deal that he needed to tell me about when I picked him up at daycare. After practice he was complaining that his head hurt and told me about falling. I didn't know about that, then sent him to wrestling practice where he was thrown around for 2 hours hitting his head some more.... I was so mad. I def had a talk with the principal the next day after we left the drs office. Now they usually call me, but they call my cell and I'm not allowed to have have it with me at work

 

[sunnyshari]

I am a teacher’s assistant in an elementary school and sometimes have to sub in our clinic. I have had 6 hours of “training.” Generally the nurse is in the clinic with me but it can get overwhelmingly busy. I will say at our school that the teacher writes a clinic pass for any reason a child is sent to the clinic. It has a carbon copy type paper to it. The child is seen, notes taken on the form and one copy stays at school and one goes home with the student to alert the parent as to any visit at the clinic. The school nurse then documents everything in the computer. Now our nurse is full time with an assistant and we have 680 kids at our school. I’m not sure if this would work at your child’s school or not.

 

[lifesavacation]

My daughter broke her arm at school and we weren't called. Poor thing looked terrible when she got off the school bus. The second I saw her, I took her to urgent care. We weren't happy that we weren't called either. The school gave her an ice pack and sent her on her way. My husband contacted the school principal to let him know that we should have been contacted. I can't remember the principal's response specifically, but it was your usual non-response without taking blame.

 

[DopeyDame]

I definitely don't think you should expect a call for the nose bleeds. They aren't a big deal, kids get them, and they can continue about their day. I know our school doesn't call when my kids get them. (They do call for literally any time a kid bumps their head as part of the concussion protocol. I got a lot of those when my son was littler.)

The arm is a much bigger deal, but considering you didn't do anything about it in the last two months, I'm not sure what you'd do now or what you hope to get out of any calls or emails.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I am a teacher’s assistant in an elementary school and sometimes have to sub in our clinic. I have had 6 hours of “training.” Generally the nurse is in the clinic with me but it can get overwhelmingly busy. I will say at our school that the teacher writes a clinic pass for any reason a child is sent to the clinic. It has a carbon copy type paper to it. The child is seen, notes taken on the form and one copy stays at school and one goes home with the student to alert the parent as to any visit at the clinic. The school nurse then documents everything in the computer. Now our nurse is full time with an assistant and we have 680 kids at our school. I’m not sure if this would work at your child’s school or not.

Maybe you can answer this, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about while reading here. How have visits to the school nurse’s office changed since Covid? Has it put an additional strain on services without there being additional staff put in place to help?

 

[CdnCarrie]

I wouldn't bother them about a nosebleed.

We don't have school nurses here. If the kid is hurt office calls the parent to come get the kid.

 

[GreatLakes]

I wouldn't expect to be informed of a nose bleed unless it was the result of an accident. If they were frequent maybe but I remember just pushing a Kleenex into my nose in class and going about my day.

If I felt the need to speak to the nurse about this we have an app we can use to talk to anyone at the school. Librarian, nurse, teacher, principal, probably anyone other than janitor. If I needed to speak with anyone I'd start there. I'd keep it informal and positive but there would also be a record.

 

[Sinder]

Our Elementary school nurse called for everything. There were many times it wasn't really necessary including my middle child getting bloody noses. He got them frequently in the winter so it wasn't something I needed to be made aware of. So if it were me I wouldn't make an issue about that.
The broken arm is a different story. I think in the case of an injury, even a minor one the parent should be notified. There are many times the real extent of the injury isn't known until later and it would be nice to be given a heads up from the nurse that something happened. I would definitely contact them and request you be called in the future.

 

[monsterkitty]

Our district doesn't not have full time nurses, but rather contract nurses from Childrens Hospital. The district has 5 contracted nurses and each cover around 7 or 8 schools each.

My first 10 years of teaching I was also a paramedic so was called out of class frequently if there was an emergency.

As a teacher, I never called a parent for a bloody nose unless it was caused by an injury. For example, a student was lifting the top of the music stand and it came off the stand part, hitting him in the nose. Of course the nose started to bleed so I sent him to the office and then called home.

For the arm, as others have said, sometimes kids fall and break something but don't know it until much later. I had a student trip on the risers in my room and break his fall with his arm (he saved his violin!). He said his wrist was sore but would be okay. I sent him to the office and I called dad to let him know what was up. The office called as well. There was no obvious break to me or the secretary, but only x-rays would be able to be definitive. The wrist was broken when dad took him in the next day.

Our school called parents about injuries to give them a heads up. Most of the time parents would say thanks and leave it at that. Some would talk to their child to see what was up. Others would come to school to check in. If a student is constantly in the office for an "injury" or "illness," the secretary will just have the student call their parent on their own right there.

For bloody nose, unless it was caused by a contact with another human or an object, there would be no phone call unless it was really bad. We live in a dry climate and bloody noses are common for some.

OP, you can request that the school call you anytime your child is injured, gets a bloody nose, or for any other reason they may go to the office.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Just sending prayers.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

Nosebleed - no, I wouldn’t expect a call and our school wouldn’t call about it unless we couldn’t get it to stop.

Broken arm - yes. But I have to ask if it was obviously broken? I’m not excusing it, but there are times it isn’t obvious right away, so I’m wondering if that’s what happened. What did they say when you asked them about it after it happened?

I would email the nurse and if you felt like you needed it, cc the school office manager & principal. I would NOT include the school board or superintendent unless you were unsatisfied with the response from the nurse.

I would explain that you would like to be contacted about all injuries & illnesses in the future. But then be prepared to get called about it all. Office staff doesn’t have the time or the ability to discern what each family may or may not deem important to be called about and many parents don’t want to know unless they have to come pick up. Head injuries are the only thing we call home about if they aren’t being required to pick up and that’s just a heads up to look for concussion symptoms.

 

[EACarlson]

Oof, hate how this system won't let you edit a reply you are responding to if you only want to reply to part of it.

Sure it will, you just have to put the cursor in the quote box and delete out what you don't want.

Sounds like you guys need to find a happy medium! If your goal is to penalize the nurse for what didn’t happen, then by all means, go in with guns ablazin’! But if your goal is to better understand the policies so that your child(ren) and you have a good relationship with the nurse for the future (which is a really nice thing to have when your kids are in school), then try having a talk with her first. If you are unsatisfied, then you can certainly involve administrators. But I would give her a chance first.

I don't want the nurse penalized if the procedures were followed correctly. I'd like clarification of what those procedures are.

My older son is 9 and in 3rd grade, my younger son is 6 year old kindergartener.

 

[sunnyshari]

Maybe you can answer this, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about while reading here. How have visits to the school nurse’s office changed since Covid? Has it put an additional strain on services without there being additional staff put in place to help?

Yes. Instead of just sending a kid to the clinic with a pass the nurse had to divide the clinic into a “well” area (basically nose bleeds, cuts, etc) vs. possible COVID cases…kids who seemed feverish. The teacher had to call the clinic to alert the nurse a child was coming. Also you needed to be more picky in who you would send as you didn’t want to send someone down for a bathroom accident if you could avoid it as you didn’t want them exposed to someone with COVID.

Anytime a kid had a fever/possible COVID they were sent home. If they tested positive for COVID the nurse and principal would have to try to contract trace anyone who sat around that student. Teachers had to make a seating chart that was followed at lunch and resource classes and school busses had their own seating charts for contract tracing. It was a mess as you can imagine. They lifted mandatory masks for kids a few months ago and fir teachers maybe a month ago. I’d say probably about 40% of kids are still masking up but the clinic rules are back to the “before” time rules.

 

[Cheburashka]

I'm an elementary school teacher. At my district, a physical note is sent home with the child anytime the child goes to the nurse's office, but who knows if the child ever gives that note to the parent. Someone here said their nurse's office sends an email for every single visit, but there is no way our school could do that given the volume of students visiting one nurse per day. Suspected injuries of any kind, especially head bumps of any kind, warrant a phone call home from the nurse. It's then the parent's call whether to pick the kid up for immediate x-rays. That should have happened for your child, but didn't.

I agree with the almost unanimous opinion here that non-injury nosebleeds are not something to call home about. Kids get them all the time and ordinary ones are not dangerous in any way.

It seems you're still angry about the broken arm not being reported, which is understandable. The ideal time to (calmly) complain was when it happened. No yelling or profanities necessary- the nurse did not break your child's arm, remember. The approach to take, even now, would be to discuss your disappointment and concern with the situation, and the fact that it was serious enough to still bother you today.

Your child's school district clearly has a personnel issue, in that there is only 1 nurse for 3 schools (and the fact that you're not allowed in is weird, too). Every public school should have a full-time RN on duty. I would personally follow up with both school and district administration about your concern about the inadequate staffing which undoubtedly contributed to this incident. It could be the district's choice to allocate staffing this way: more overpaid pencil pushers in central office, and fewer nurses on the ground in schools. If parents don't complain, they assume parents are satisfied with the status quo.