Swear Words That Aren’t Swear Words

I have a real potty mouth ( my wife’s description and usually just use all the worst swear words possible. However, since we have the grandchildren around now I have toned it down quite a bit and have used some replacements.

Shut the front door
chesse is sliced
son of a bisquit

There are a few more but they only come to me when I’m in distress🤣.

My wife gave this to me quite a while back!

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Side bar...driving home from work
..dropped an F bomb on my very uptight, proper Southern mother. I was 40, but still thought I would die.
My mother and grandmother cursed like sailors, but I don't recall ever dropping an F-bomb in front of my Mom. I said the word all the time, in all sorts of creative variations, but if I had said that in front of her I would have dropped dead immediately of shame. Weird.
 


The only swear word I won't say starts with a F. I say firetruck instead. I'm the daughter of a WWII Navy man so he could get very creative with his cussing. Mama picked it up and the things that would come out of that woman's mouth would make even Daddy blush. Another word I won't say isn't really a swear word, I don't say shut up, instead I say hush or be quiet. Shut up just sounds rude and crude to me, I'm sure it's the southern belle in me, oddly even cussing Mama didn't say shut up.
 


Somebody has to make me good and angry and then I can “speak in tongues”.
Otherwise I use words like “hellacious” and “heckenspeck”.

On the other hand when I actually full on no stopping me now curse it’s a mix of old-fashioned Anglo Saxon words with some humdinger foreign phrases throw in just in case I missed something. Calling someone a phlegm swallower is pretty low in some Swiss German circles ☺️

Signed,

Ralphie
 
I say “sugar honey iced tea” sometimes but usually I say “merde” which is French, because my mothers French and that’s what she always says and most people (including my littler kids) don’t know what it means lol.
I used to say that and much much worst in semi private until one of my doormen started laughing at me. He said I always had such a pleasant look on my face it seemed incongruous. I started using my inside voice in the lobby too….
 
Sometimes nothing but a real curse word works but I’ve got a load of ones I use that aren’t really.
Shut the front door!
Fudge nuggets!
Son of a biscuit!
My husband says monkeys, balls and chips, his mum says I don’t give a monkey’s!
Oh flibbidty jibbet
Holy Shirt and Full of Shirt and Forking stolen from the good place.
I learned a lot of new Scottish sweary phrases when he put in the new garbage disposal.
 
Sometimes nothing but a real curse word works but I’ve got a load of ones I use that aren’t really.
Shut the front door!
Fudge nuggets!
Son of a biscuit!
My husband says monkeys, balls and chips, his mum says I don’t give a monkey’s!
Oh flibbidty jibbet
Holy Shirt and Full of Shirt and Forking stolen from the good place.
I learned a lot of new Scottish sweary phrases when he put in the new garbage disposal.

Usually, I’ll just curse. But lately, a lot of

Darn, darn, darny-darn

My daughter loved The Lego Movie.

Edit: didn’t mean to quote you ☺️
 

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