Take the kids, or not take the kids

[Phoenixrising]

Here's my opinion on the issue. Being a parent is a full time job, and it's hard for parents to have any really alone time, other than the odd special dinner out. As a stay at home mom, I take off on a solo trip with DH's permission and blessing every 2 to 3 years. My first trip was 9 days, and I came back completely re-energized and relaxed. As the kids get older I do still take my solo trip, but they are getting shorter in duration hence the 6 day solo trip next month. Are my kids mad that I'm going to DL without them....yes. They also know that I'm going to bring them back some really cool souvenirs, which they are going to enjoy. Do I miss them while I'm away...yes, but I also enjoy my alone time from them. It's a matter of which decision is best for you. I think you will really enjoy DL without the kids. But ultimately it's your choice.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

I've done this - gone to DL alone with DH for an anniversary trip. I didn't feel badly leaving my kids behind but once there I really truly missed them a lot. And it really cut into the enjoyment of our trip. It was only an issue because it was DL. Anyplace else and I would have been fine but DL is our family's special escape.

So I told DH I couldn't do that again - next time we would just go someplace else. I am definitely fine with getting away with DH alone. In fact we are going away to Puerto Vallarta together in a few weeks.

Once the kids are grown and gone I can definitely see going to DL alone with DH - I know I will love it throughout all the seasons of my life. But while they are young and living at home DL is extra special and I really really missed having them there with me.

This about sums up my feelings as well. DH and I talk a lot about doing an adults only DL trip. There is a lot that we want to do that the kids don't want to do (tours, Blue Bayou ect...). In the end we always change our minds. I don't think we could enjoy things as much without the kids. We would constantly be saying "they would love this." Right now DL is our family's special place. When the kids are grown it will still hopefully be our special place. But hopefully it will also be our couple spot

 

[Disney Dreams]

So... we have no children and LOVE going anywhere and everywhere Disney together. However, if every minute you are going to be thinking, "oh, the kids would love this" or "oh this would be better with the kids" then you are going to ruin your vacation. If you went somewhere else would you feel badly about not taking the kids? If not, then I'm not sure of the difference. Disney isn't JUST for kids. It's a magical place for adults too!

But you are getting the opinion of a non-parent who spent her 10th, 12th, 14th, and 15th wedding anniversary ith her husband at some form of Disney park, cruise ship, or resort. And lived ever minute of each of those!

- Dreams

 

[CamoMama]

I love my children. And I often see things when I'm out without them that I would like to show them. But that does not mean that they have to be with me everywhere I go. I went alone for my birthday last year (since I'm divorced that means ALONE) and I go on the February Diva trips without them as well (although this year my oldest is 18 and will be going and next year my youngest will be going). I was never able to afford the trips when they were younger, so now we go as much as we can, but I refuse to feel guilty about taking some time to celebrate me and do things that I love without taking them along and having to be concerned with all of the things that go along with taking them (including food issues, waiting in line issues with my Aspie, not wanting to get up in the morning or go to sleep after a long day at the park etc). When I go on my own that is my time, and I enjoy it.

If I was in a relationship I would definitely plan a trip now and then without kids. And I can't imagine wanting to have them along on a romantic anniversary trip.

But ultimately it's your decision, and your husband's. You should discuss it, and take his feelings into consideration. It sounds like he wants to spend some time concentrating on you and having you concentrate on him rather than dividing your attention with the children.

 

[momof4fans]

I fall in the "could never do Disneyland without my kids" camp. They grow up so fast! We don't vacation that often and a trip to Disneyland is a huge deal for our family. There is no way I would ever leave them out of it. I wouldn't enjoy myself, I'd feel guilty the entire time and I would miss seeing the joy on their faces! They would look at me like I had 3 heads if I told them that! And did I mention, they grow up so fast! My oldest is a sophmore high school. We're hoping to take a trip the summer of 2015. He graduates in 2016. One last family trip before he's off to college. It feels like just yesterday he was starting kindergarten.

I do agree that married couples need alone time, but man, I could not do Disneyland without my kiddos! I'd really like to go the Napa for my anniversary, but the truth is, I'll save my money and go to Disneyland as a family first. I've been married 21 years. I wouldn't mind going to Disneyland for my anniversay and taking the kids. That would be awesome! Whenever my husband and I are alone, we talk about the kids anyway.

That's just me...everyone is different

 

[Amommy21]

I could never go without DS. I only have one so that might be why. He is really easy to travel with and we have done everything together as a family since he was born. Leaving him alone wouldn't be the same as leaving him with siblings... leaving him alone would be really leaving him alone. We feel DL is more of a family place for us. Also DH and I went through 7 years of infertility stuff to get him here... so we are always excited to share our life with him.

 

[bethy]

I am super thrilled to be sharing my life with me three kiddos.

 

[gatorfreud]

I would totally go without them! We have been to DL twice and WDW once or twice (my folks live nearby there) without them. Super fun. Went to Napa Rose. Rode what we wanted, or not. Really had fun.

Would you go on any weekend trip without the kids? If so, then I say go. When DH and I went for the 1st time alone, we tried hard to think of somewhere else we wanted to go for a weekend away (wine country? hiking? to a spa?).... no... nothing was appealing. Except DL so we went!

We have taken the kids to Disney (world and land) quite a few times, so it's not like they were missing out. But the first time we went alone to DL was our first trip to DL. But the kids went the next time!

I say go and don't feel guilty. And for goodness sakes don't tell them that's where you are going! My kids still don't know! Just tell them you are going somewhere else boring that they wouldn't like to go.

I love my kids and we do tons of stuff together. And I almost always sacrifice everything to do what they want. So that's why I love going with just DH, we can do whatever WE want to do for once. I love taking them to Disney, but I also love it without them. We were positively giddy stepping onto Main Street without them! Could use another adults only trip I think!

Anyway, whatever you decide, have fun. And if you leave the kids at home, no reason to feel guilty in my opinion.

Kim

 

[ThumperWabbt]

We went for our 30th anniversary--granted our kid was almost 29 at that point but I think he wanted to go anyway. No regrets...going without kids is awesome. You can sleep in and hit the park when you want, take breaks when you want, pee when you want...

If the Boy had been little, I still would have gone without him. I'm not sure I would have told him where we were going, but he would have stayed with Grandma and Grandpa and we would have gone alone. It's an anniversary, not a family vacation, and years down the road you won't feel bad about the one time you didn't take them. And later...you'll probably be taking grandkids.

Go alone now while you're young enough to enjoy it

 

[DaeHyFoog]

I've only been to DL twice. The first trip was without the kids (a kind-of anniversary trip in 2010,) and we just got back from the second trip last week with the kids. Here are a few thoughts about the differences:

The 2010 trip was the first time my husband and I had gone on a trip together, just the two of us, since we had kids. Ours were 10, 7, and 3 at the time. I totally get the dilemma of going to DL without the kids(!)--how could we do that to them?--we had a great time, and the kids were okay with it. They got to stay half the week with one set of grandparents and the other half with the other set, both of which spoiled them rotten!

I think the pros, here, outweighed the cons. We were able to ride everything we wanted to ride and to explore the parks at a much faster pace at times and much more slowly at others than the kids would have allowed. Because the trip was less expensive, we were able to spend a little more on table service dining at Blue Bayou and Ariel's Grotto (back when you could get WOC fastpasses there.) It was rather dis-orienting (but wonderful) not to have anybody's food I had to cut! Also, it gave us the opportunity to go on the Walk In Walt's Footsteps Tour and explore all of the awesome Disneyana at the Disneyland Hotel to our heart's content, neither of which we could've done with the kids. We also enjoyed the just-us time. Of course there were those moments when I wished they could've been with us enjoying DL, too. (Enjoying Trader Sam's on your visit would be way easier without the kids and really is a must-do!)

On our most recent trip a few days ago, we had a great time, and I'm so glad to have experienced DL as a family. Our kids are now 13, 10, and 6. However, there was very little romantic about it. (One big exception is we let our DD13-almost 14 babysit in the room so we could check out Trader Sam's.) I was on full mommy-duty every day: the first to wake up, and the last to be ready, making sure all the ducks were in a row. I also had to balance everybody's moods, thirst, hunger, wants, and needs. We've done lots of WDW trips, so none of this was unexpected; it's just not relaxing. We did not eat table service, and even with all of the food options, our kids were extremely picky. However, it was fun watching the kids get excited about seeing Carsland for the first time, watching the youngest get to ride cool rides she was never tall enough for before, and sharing my love of DL with my kids.

Having done both, I would definitely do the anniversary trip with just my husband and me again in a heart-beat. Either way, though, you'll have a great time!!