Taking son out of high school for a week of vacation?

[momz]

DS is a senior, graduating in May. We let our kids choose our vacation destination their last year of high school. We would like to have his sister join us as I expect it will be out last trip with all of us together.

the problem is that we are having difficulty reconciling our schedules. I work in healthcare and am prohibited from taking time over the holidays. Daughter’s college spring break does not match son’s high school spring break. Son is leaving immediately after commencement to work at a camp/conference center all summer.

this leaves our only option being to take him out of school for a week during her spring break. Now…let me say, he is not in any AP classes. In fact the only classes he’s in that are necessary to graduate are English 12 and Econ. He has completed all other credits. So he fills out his schedule with three band classes, a piano class and a study hall. So honestly, it’s not like he would miss any critical instruction.

my question…can anyone share their experience dealing with the high school concerning time off for vacation? I expect to get a LOT of push back from the school. But honestly…our experience with this school is not so good overall. I feel like the school thinks they own my kid in that the parent does not have the final say on so many things that directly affect our children. And I don’t feel like the control the school has on our schedule is paid back in value as regards the quality of education they have given my kids. (But that’s a whole separate conversation).

anyway…taking a kid out for vacation…tell me… what works?

 

[neverlandsky]

Lots of things to consider. Depends on how your school district/high school handles prearranged absences. How does your high schooler feel about missing classes? Our Oldest average student and Youngest AP/honors insisted they can’t miss school. Way too much to catch up on, group projects, rearranging time for tests/quizzes to makeup. So to compromise with taking into consideration of their wishes, we always planned extended weekend getaways where there was no school days Mondays and/or Fridays, end of quarter staff development days, etc. Now that Oldest is an adult and Youngest is a Junior the same applies, going nonschool days and if we all can’t go, we just don’t go and have a nice dinner out instead.

 

[Pink Partridge]

If he doesn't have any AP classes, I would not sweat it. He can look at his assignments for English 12 and Econ on Canvas.

Your immediate family is more important than anything. I think we have all learned this over the last 18 months.

Have a wonderful time together! (and thank you for working in healthcare)

 

[runjulesrun]

Your son should know if he feels he can handle missing or not. Pulling our kids out of high school had to stop after our oldest DS hit sophomore year. He had a horrible time making up the work. He was in AP classes at that point though which I think makes the scenarios very different. If he had a schedule like your DS, I'm confident he would have kept wanting to miss school to go. As far as the school and pushback goes, expect it. He was given unexcused absences but we did it anyway. I wouldn't change those memories and would do it again if I had to do it over.

 

[ShayBells]

I would talk to the principal. If you son’s grades are up there should not be an issue unless your school has some kind of rule against it.
I would explain the situation and honestly by then they should be pretty much over doing work. I don’t remember doing much towards the end of senior year. But my school was really good about me taking time off cause I had straight As and this was 15 or so years ago. DS is in 7th grade and I’ve never had a problem taking him out and hope it continues. I honestly think this should be a parent decision. I don’t get the big deal nor why people find it so negative.

 

[Southernmiss]

It was difficult to take my high schoolers out for 3 days to attend their step grandfather's funeral.

It was also difficult for our daughter her junior year as she developed a medical condition that had her too sick to attend school. We had to put her on homebound for the last 3 weeks as the assistant superintendent of the district gave me a hard time and did not accept a doctor's excuse for her needing accommodations.


Public schools get federal $for butts in seats.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I feel like the school thinks they own my kid in that the parent does not have the final say on so many things that directly affect our children. And I don’t feel like the control the school has on our schedule is paid back in value as regards the quality of education they have given my kids. (But that’s a whole separate conversation).

It is but it actually seems like the biggest concern for you personally.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I would talk to the principal. If you son’s grades are up there should not be an issue unless your school has some kind of rule against it.
I would explain the situation and honestly by then they should be pretty much over doing work. I don’t remember doing much towards the end of senior year. But my school was really good about me taking time off cause I had straight As and this was 15 or so years ago. DS is in 7th grade and I’ve never had a problem taking him out and hope it continues. I honestly think this should be a parent decision. I don’t get the big deal nor why people find it so negative.

Every person is different and every school is different, every district is different, everyone is taking different courses with different reasons for those courses. It's why some like you can take off and get straight As even 15 years ago and yet someone else even back then may not have the same result.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

OP your biggest question aside from taking into consideration the school's policy is actually not from posters here but from your own son. He's the one who will be missing classes. If the school allows him to go he may need to make arrangement with his teachers and he would be the one doing the coursework. It's up to him whether he believe he could realistically do this and not fall behind and if the trip is more worth it or not. He's a senior after all and should be aware of his personal abilities. If he doesn't feel like this is going to be doable you'd have your answer.

 

[kdonnel]

Use the pandemic to your advantage, just say he got Covid or was exposed to Covid. Should get you plenty of time off without penalty.

 

[tvguy]

OP your biggest question aside from taking into consideration the school's policy is actually not from posters here but from your own son. He's the one who will be missing classes. If the school allows him to go he may need to make arrangement with his teachers and he would be the one doing the coursework. It's up to him whether he believe he could realistically do this and not fall behind and if the trip is more worth it or not. He's a senior after all and should be aware of his personal abilities. If he doesn't feel like this is going to be doable you'd have your answer.

Good point. In my 18+ years on the DIS this is always the most controversial topic on the DIS. Talk to your child, talk to your school because policy varies across the nation. And the pandemic may have changed some policies. My kids went to Catholic High School, they are 4 years apart and they were at that school 2001 to 2009 and the policy changed vastly over those 8 years. Some parents chose the school because at the beginning their policy was, as long as the work was done, there was no issue. They got in trouble with the organization that accredits private High Schools and by 2009 teachers were forbidden to give students any credit for work they missed during a vacation.
As for the public schools here, well, this would be felony truancy. You'll be explaining your child's absence to a Judge.

 

[robinb]

My first thought when I read the title was, “No way!”. But given it’s the last semester of his senior year and his classes are not AP classes, I would say it’s totally okay.

 

[China Expat]

I won't weigh into the missing class situation, but never say this is our last trip together. After my son graduated from college and entered the work force, we started vacationing together to cool places...Thailand, Iceland,and more. The best part...he pays his own way!

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

How does your son feel about missing the week? It sounds like his course load makes it doable from an outsider, but his opinion would weigh heavily for me.

Here, if they’re going to be out 5+ days they can do independent study. Tends to be a little more work, but doesn’t count as absences. Could he do that?

 

[tvguy]

I won't weigh into the missing class situation, but never say this is our last trip together. After my son graduated from college and entered the work force, we started vacationing together to cool places...Thailand, Iceland,and more. The best part...he pays his own way!

Same here on family vacations. The pandemic has interrupted any vacations for us. but in 2019 our then 28 year old DD went with us on vacation. Last vacation DS took with us was when he was 29, and his wife was 28. They have a baby now so their travel has ended for now.
My mom got sick two months before so we had to cancel, but my DW, DS, DD and I were booked on a vacation together when I was 55 and mom was 89. We tended to take a vacation with her every other year or so.

 

[Lumpy1106]

Schools in CA were shut for OVER A YEAR. Do you think I care what the school thinks about my kids being out of school for a week? Not anymore. Just give them the same line they gave us; "kids are resilient, they'll make it up".

 

[tvguy]

Schools in CA were shut for OVER A YEAR. Do you think I care what the school thinks about my kids being out of school for a week? Not anymore. Just give them the same line they gave us; "kids are resilient, they'll make it up".

Tell that to the Judge. And not all California schools were closed, but that is another controversy.

 

[RedAngie]

Good point. In my 18+ years on the DIS this is always the most controversial topic on the DIS.

I haven’t been here that long but I always wonder why people post such questions. They already have their minds made up that Junior is going to miss school. I suppose many are just looking for someone to tell them it’s OK.

OP is seeking others’ experiences with the matter, not asking for permission.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We never had the kids miss more than a couple of days in HS because it was too hard to catch up, and they didn’t have classes they could blow off. That said, it sounds like your son’s situation might be a little different, and times have changed quite a bit. Ultimately he has to do what works for him. I happen to agree with the view that life is short...

I won't weigh into the missing class situation, but never say this is our last trip together. After my son graduated from college and entered the work force, we started vacationing together to cool places...Thailand, Iceland,and more. The best part...he pays his own way!

So true! We just had a September family vacation like that and it was a beautiful thing!

 

[amcnj]

I agree with asking your son. Personally I would have not liked the idea of being out of school for a week. I am sure I could have handled the work just fine, but the thought of it all might have put a damper on my enjoyment of the trip.