Teens alone at home

[mjkacmom]

16 would be the youngest, I’d be more worried about parties (which did happen once when I left a couple home, I think 16 and 18. I did let my 14 and 16 year olds stay 2 nights alone at a hotel in Philadelphia due to a medical emergency, but there were families in adjacent rooms that we are very close to, and it was for a dance competition they’ve been going to for 10 years and were very comfortabl.

 

[mom2rtk]

This is entirely dependent upon the child. If they're the sort to have a party while you're gone, you know the answer. If they are constantly pushing their boundaries, you know the answer. If they're a straight arrow and follow your rules, then I think 16 is reasonable. I would almost prefer that they aren't driving yet, as I wouldn't want them driving while we were away. Of course it would require support (family or friends) close by and willing to help if needed.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I would think a lot of it depends on the maturity of the teen. I would think no younger than 18 though. As far as something international (not drivable), 18 would be a bare minimum, but maturity etc. would be a big factor. Having family nearby does help for sure.

My parents went to Europe and left me home alone for two weeks when I was 19. That was a not really a good idea. I had way too much fun.

 

[Dan Murphy]

my youngest

He's 16.5.

Where has time flown, MN?

 

[nancipants]

My parents left me alone when I was 17 over the summer. They were visiting family out of state but I had to stay behind due to rehearsal obligations with drama club (we were performing at the Edinburgh Fringe which is a Big Deal). I wasn’t allowed to sleep at our house by myself, though; I stayed at a friend’s house down the street. It annoyed me because I was more than capable and trustworthy to stay at home the entire time, but at least they let me stay.

For my son, it would be very dependent on his maturity levels. We would also have cameras on.

 

[nw6675]

At 16, my sis and I (5 years apart) drove and had jobs. We never had parties because my mom was a literal OCD neat freak and knew if anyone even breathed on anything. You think I'm exaggerating....

We were far from perfect and had a GREAT time when they were gone. That's all I've got to say about that

 

[mjkacmom]

I would think a lot of it depends on the maturity of the teen. I would think no younger than 18 though. As far as something international (not drivable), 18 would be a bare minimum, but maturity etc. would be a big factor. Having family nearby does help for sure.

My parents went to Europe and left me home alone for two weeks when I was 19. That was a not really a good idea. I had way too much fun.

At 19 some of my kids were in off campus apartments at college with zero supervision. Once my kids reach 18 and are legal adults I treat them as such (and all went away to college after high school). Even living in dorms there is little supervision, tons of parties, students coming and going all night.

 

[luvsvacation]

At 19 some of my kids were in off campus apartments at college with zero supervision. Once my kids reach 18 and are legal adults I treat them as such (and all went away to college after high school). Even living in dorms there is little supervision, tons of parties, students coming and going all night.

Totally agree…I so surprised by all the bare minimum of 18 replies. I can’t imagine anything I wouldn’t “let” an 18 year old do. They are adults and many/most at that age are away on their own anyway. The only exception I can see is if you have a wild teen who would throw crazy parties and you’d be worried about your belongings! But worrying about leaving another adult alone wouldn’t cross my mind for their safety. DH doesn’t enjoy traveling so I’ve never gone away with him without the kids, but we would stay at a local hotel overnight for our anniversary. By age 14/15 we let the kids stay overnight alone for that. Prior to that age we’d have grandma spend the night with them.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

18

 

[tvguy]

Was it the same person, or a long string of different people? After 4 years, I'd think whoever was chosen, if it was just one person, would have developed some level of relationship?

4 different women.

 

[EACarlson]

Depends on the maturity level of the child more than anything else. My 10 year old I'd probably let stay by himself overnight at 12 if he was willing, but he won't be. My 7 year old, I'd have no home to come back to. I stayed by myself for the weekend starting at 15. My mother and step-father had a cabin up north and I had baseball tournaments and once I turned 16, work. I was also the kid that came home from school to an empty house and cooked my own dinner at 9.

 

[CdnCarrie]

*I think it’s different for every teen.
In my house, my oldest stayed home alone for 5 days when she was 17 years old. She would not have been ready to be alone any younger.
DD19 has never been left alone because there’s been no reason - all our trips are either for her softball tournaments or a family trip. But if we did leave without her, she wouldn‘t have wanted to be alone until about 17 years old - she used to get nervous being alone to long at night.

My family is in town too, and that did give me peace of mind.

I would not leave the country - that would make me to nervous and I probably wouldn‘t have fun. But I guess it depends on what out of the country means. If I’m going to Niagara Falls on the Canadian side, then yes. If I’m going to Europe, then no,

It would be Canada to USA but not just over the border.

 

[luv2cheer92]

Totally agree…I so surprised by all the bare minimum of 18 replies. I can’t imagine anything I wouldn’t “let” an 18 year old do. They are adults and many/most at that age are away on their own anyway. The only exception I can see is if you have a wild teen who would throw crazy parties and you’d be worried about your belongings! But worrying about leaving another adult alone wouldn’t cross my mind for their safety. DH doesn’t enjoy traveling so I’ve never gone away with him without the kids, but we would stay at a local hotel overnight for our anniversary. By age 14/15 we let the kids stay overnight alone for that. Prior to that age we’d have grandma spend the night with them.

Same. I had just turned 17 when I went away to college. I can't imagine not letting a 16 or 17 year old be alone (unless they have done something that would make them not be trusted). I was left alone overnight or for the day starting at 13-14. Longer at 15-16. 18 is wild to me.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Totally agree…I so surprised by all the bare minimum of 18 replies. I can’t imagine anything I wouldn’t “let” an 18 year old do. They are adults and many/most at that age are away on their own anyway. The only exception I can see is if you have a wild teen who would throw crazy parties and you’d be worried about your belongings! But worrying about leaving another adult alone wouldn’t cross my mind for their safety. DH doesn’t enjoy traveling so I’ve never gone away with him without the kids, but we would stay at a local hotel overnight for our anniversary. By age 14/15 we let the kids stay overnight alone for that. Prior to that age we’d have grandma spend the night with them.

Yes, but they would also be in your house without help. A house probably worth 6 figures with no resources on their own save "family in town."

It's different than college where they are in a room that you don't have to worry about with resources the minute they step out of their dorm room.

I'd want my kid to be able to drive to a doc for illness, to get a prescript if needed, to get food if it runs out, to call a plumber if the bathroom toilet starts leaking everywhere, etc, etc. Anything that could go wrong for themselves or property in a 6 figure house (and some folks on here, it might be 7), that they would be an adult to handle.

PS - Not to mention, if something went wrong, and then police/social media get involved, I wouldn't want to explain why I left my 14/15/16 year old home alone so I could go do X.

 

[mom2rtk]

At 19 some of my kids were in off campus apartments at college with zero supervision. Once my kids reach 18 and are legal adults I treat them as such (and all went away to college after high school). Even living in dorms there is little supervision, tons of parties, students coming and going all night.

Totally agree. And I'm also of the opinion that small amounts of freedom and responsibility at younger ages better prepares kids to be on their own and make better choices when they do leave for college.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yes, but they would also be in your house without help. A house probably worth 6 figures with no resources on their own save "family in town."

It's different than college where they are in a room that you don't have to worry about with resources the minute they step out of their dorm room.

I'd want my kid to be able to drive to a doc for illness, to get a prescript if needed, to get food if it runs out, to call a plumber if the bathroom toilet starts leaking everywhere, etc, etc. Anything that could go wrong for themselves or property in a 6 figure house (and some folks on here, it might be 7), that they would be an adult to handle.

PS - Not to mention, if something went wrong, and then police/social media get involved, I wouldn't want to explain why I left my 14/15/16 year old home alone so I could go do X.

I’ve had 18 year olds in my house overnight for a week who aren’t even family, my kids’ friends dog sit for us every summer. They’re now 20 though.

 

[fla4fun]

I think every family and every teen is different. In some houses, there may be younger siblings that the oldest would need to look out for as well as themselves, where in others, it’s the one teen alone. Some teens are very mature at 16 where others are extremely immature at 18. Some families may live in safer areas, or have family and close friends nearby, where others may not. Some teens push boundaries and others don’t. There isn’t a one size fits all response, other than knowing if there are any age restrictions in your area from a legal standpoint (if you plan to leave a teen home alone at any age under 18).

The criteria I would use would include:

If there is an emergency, will they remain calm and contact the appropriate authorities? This is doubly important if they will also have younger siblings to take care of.

Do they know what to do if there are any issues at the house? Can they handle turning off the water or electric and waiting for a repair? Do they know what to do if an appliance malfunctions?

Do they take care of their responsibilities in daily life, like laundry, cooking, cleaning, without any nagging or reminders? Do they put responsibilities ahead of leisure and entertainment?

Anyone who is mature enough to handle themselves under those conditions, and old enough that it isn’t illegal to leave them home alone, should be fine for a few nights.

 

[Minnesota!]

Where has time flown, MN?

I know!! He dares to talk a lot, lately, about leaving for college, too!

 

[leahgoogle]

I would think a lot of it depends on the maturity of the teen. I would think no younger than 18 though. As far as something international (not drivable), 18 would be a bare minimum, but maturity etc. would be a big factor. Having family nearby does help for sure.

My parents went to Europe and left me home alone for two weeks when I was 19. That was a not really a good idea. I had way too much fun.

I agree and think not until a teen graduates high school. My parents left me home for one night when I was 16 and it was definitely not a good idea....lol. This was back in the 90's though so maybe different? Idk.

 

[NotUrsula]

Funny. My DH & I were just discussing this today, a week after our youngest got her driver's license.

My DD has been traveling widely with her sports team (no parents except the chaperones) since age 8, and she's learned to be very responsible because of it. Up until now we couldn't leave her for a weekend because she needed us to drive her to practices, but that's no longer a deterrent.

I'm pretty sure that we could have safely left her overnight at 14, and in fact I pretty much did once when she was 13 and a medical emergency kept me at the ER with her father until 6 am. At 16 I'd have no qualms about leaving her home alone for a couple of nights, which pretty much limits the range to domestic travel. However, I don't think I'd go on a major overseas trip without her until she is college-aged, mostly because she'd have the fit of all time were we to leave her behind!