The Battle For My Wallet VI: The Trip Report That Isn’t a Trip Report (P.24, 11/24)

[LaLa]

Well, well, well.

Look who decided to jump on in again.

Color me numb.

Not really though. Because I had a feeling.

And I, for one, am SO GLAD I decided to not check out the TR board this morning and didn't stumble upon this trip report that you're not writing. I could be happier to have not spent the morning taking a walk through your wires and not laughing at any of your dumb jokes.

For a change.

Speaking of which, the following all made me not spit water on my keyboard:

It’s as if Disney was AIG and I was the federal government.

Suffice it to say, I’ve been in love with Disney World for a long time. Longer than Barack Obama was voting “present” in the Illinois Legislature and longer than John McCain has in the Senate.

Which I found both rude and unhelpful. Like Keith Olberman.

I use “nice” because it means everything and it means nothing. It’s like Barack Obama. You can see in it what you want to see.

DED. To all of the above. And that feeling I mentioned earlier? It was because I figured there was no way you'd miss the chance to have an ongoing trip report situated smack dab in the middle of Election '08. Forget the pull of Disney and its tractor beam on your wallet. Nevermind the long awaited fulfillment of a touching childhood desire to stay at the Contemporary. Forget that it's college football season and there are sure to be Bama games that will require the occasional comment. And lament. I think you're really here (or are you even here at all?! Are any of us?!) solely for the opportunity to throw out some funny as all get out political quips.

Whatever those are.

I like to be there.

I have an inkling why that is, and if you’ve read along with me, you know why too.

The bathroom at the bottom of the stairs. Duh! How 'bout you try throwing out something a little harder next time?

Right now you’re wondering whether you’re still reading these things.

No, actually right now I'm wondering WHY I'm still reading these things.

At this point, it’s akin to buying something originally marked up 90%, now on clearance for 50% off, and thinking you got a bargain. When it was something you didn’t really need to begin with.

Or did you?

You sound like my husband. And for the record, YES. I really did need everything I bought this weekend.

It's the reason I have more shoes now than the average guy.

If any of those are Lightning McQueen Crocs, so help me...

So I’m never going to write legal treatises, but give me a few minutes and I’ll craft an argument to persuade Elvis he’s not really dead.

Haven't you heard?! Elvis isn't dead. He's been hanging out with the neighbors all this time. Eating their jelly donuts, making them fall in love with him (they can't help it) and answering to the name Pete. Or George. Depending on which set of neighbors you ask.

Ever since I first set foot in Walt’s World, I was enamored, especially enamored, of one place.

The deli? The Lil Debbie aisle? The Gold Bond Medicated Powder/bunion pad/wart remover section?

Oh, my bad. I thought that was "Wally World".

At any rate, I'm really happy to know that through God's blessings, you were finally able to fulfill that childhood desire of yours and experience staying at the Contemporary. Not to mention the chance to experience planning and dreaming of staying at the Contemporary. Because the planning and anticipation is almost as much fun as the actual stay, in my opinion.

I said almost.

You know ZZUB, of all the trip reports you've written and of all the first chapters you've cranked out, I think this one ranks right up there with the best. You're off to a great start, my friend, and I can't wait to hear all the non-typical, non chronological details of what I'm hoping turned out to be one of your best trips to date.

I'm not looking foward to coming along for the ride.

 

[CampbellScot]

When I heard you were back, I said a quick prayer of thanks and rushed on over! I was NOT disappointed.

Oh my how I can identify with your "poor kid" syndrome. That's what my husband and I call it. We were both poor kids too...my "poor kid" status was bestowed upon me after a divorce as well. I hear you on hiding the torn shoes. I ran bloody blisters into my toes in my too small sneakers. My gym teacher finally called my mom and told her my shoes were too small. We both cried.

My husband and I also eat out more than we should...and my husband is FOREVER stopping on the way home to pick up some more odds and ends at the grocery store for dinner. It justifies his outrageous workaholic tendencies. He works himself to the bone so we can have those little luxuries in life. And it STILL gives us a thrill to "get whatever we want" when we do our weekly grocery shop.

I'm thrilled you realized your dream of the contemporary and I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.

welcome back! It's wonderful to see you!

 

[travelgirl06]

I am VERY excited about this "trip report that isn't a trip report"! All your previous TRs have been highly entertaining, and I look forward to reading more of this one.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

There I was, innocently checking replys on MissCammie's TR, and saw ZZub posted a nnew report!

Wow, both Miss Cammie and ZZUB,life is good!

I mean, as far as dreams go, this one is fairly shallow. Martin Luther King dreamt of a world where children of all races played together, Jim Lovell dreamed of walking on the moon, Daniel Ruettiger dreamed of playing football for Notre Dame. ZZUB dreamed of staying in the Contemporary.

Which is precisely why NO ONE is writing movies about my life.

You DID hear that the Contemporary now sels timeshares in the new tower, didn;t you? RUN, don't walk, they will sell like Hotcakes!

Here's a link to a promo:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1DV6r1Nk54

Anyway, I'm excited about the new report!!!!!!!!

 

[Sneezie]

I should have known you were going to be starting a new trip report today!

You know how some people get a twitch in their old football injury when the weather's about to get bad, well this past Saturday at seven o'clock at night no less, I got up from a very comfortable position in bed and MADE A CAKE... FROM SCRATCH!!!!!

It was a Glazed Orange Cake. I'd been looking at the recipe for a few days and just got up and made it. First, I had to go up to the Winn Dixie (in the rain) to buy the ingredients and I made the cake... from scratch. That should have told me something, but to be quite honest, I don't give you a second thought between your trip reports.

Glad to have you back and I can't wait to read more.

 

[tarheel]

I can't believe you have a new report here today of all days. Let me explain. I was at Target today and I almost got run over by what I thought could be your car. Why your car? Because it was red, had a huge BAMA sticker on it and a smaller Roll Tide decal. I realized it wasn't your car though, because it actually had an Alabama license plate. But what gets me here is that I thought of ZZUB today, like I should know you and know what your car might look like and here is a new trip report, that's not really a trip report. I can't wait to hear all about it.

 

[pooh'smate]

Glad to see that you changed your mind. I only found your trip reports after you were already done with Battle V so I am excited to get in on this one from the beginning.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

I can't believe it! I don't think I have even looked on the Trip Report board since I finished reading your last report and now I open it up and here you are! I'm thrilled!

 

[jessi1375]

Thank goodness I was stalking the TR boards looking for this report, or else, I may have missed it. So glad you decided to post another report, I am looking forward to reading it!!!!

 

[ZZUB]

So I won't feel compelled to respond to people who post to something I'm not even doing.

It occurs to me that this might be more of a Trip Report than any of that other garbage I've pounded out. This might actually have useful information you can rely upon as you plan your upcoming trip to Walt Disney World. So maybe I should call this My First Trip Report.

I can't respond personally to everyone who posts although I certainly do read and appreciate every poster. I do want to respond to some posts:

You probably wouldn't believe me if I said I was browsing TR's last night to see if perhaps you'd decided to grace us with another "Battle..." installment...

But I was!

So imagine my excitement to log on this morning and find "Battle VI" beckoning me from the front page.

Zzub's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Lego for the HUGE welcome. You must have been surveying the board before I posted. As you might expect, I tend to post late Sunday night.

Basketball - Michael Jordan - check!
Football - Brett Favre - check!
Cycling - Lance Armstrong - check!
Trip Report Writing - ZZUB - check! check!

As you know, I'm against ALL it's mes. Except you, of course. Thanks for putting me in such good company. However, I didn't technically retire. Nor did I write that I was not writing another one. I said I didn't know whether I would continue writing these things. It was only this summer with my family that I began saying I wasn't goiing to write any more Trip Reports. And as you can plainly see, I'm not.

Snubbing for when I get home from work.

How odd. You posted to let me know you were snubbing me until you get home from work?! Maybe that coachroach infected you with something when it bit you. I'd have that checked out.

We just had a little girl in July, so we are busy busy. I cannot wait to take her to Disney World to experience the joy you write about. It will be a while, so for now I will live through you!

Congratulations on your daughter! You're in for a very exciting ride.

First one of your reports I have read. Can't wait for more.

Ok, but technically, this is the First Trip Report I've written. I don't know what that other garbage was.

TowerDude: You have a cool name. Unless the Tower refers to the Tower of Terror at which point I think it's less cool, but still cool nevertheless.

What a great way to start my every other Monday morning!

Thanks for changing your mind Zzub. I love hearing your stories about you and your family.

Canadian restrooms~not so much!!

Here's an irony: it wasn't actually the bathroom in Canada after all! It was the outpost which is between Canada and Future World. I discovered this while we were waiting for Illuminations one night and I had some excess liquid to release. As I walked up to the restroom and recognized it, I thought, "Hmmm. For 2 years now, people have been avoiding Canada b/c of the toxic exposure and it turns out it wasn't even in Canada at all." Good news, eh?

Haven't you heard?! Elvis isn't dead. He's been hanging out with the neighbors all this time. Eating their jelly donuts, making them fall in love with him (they can't help it) and answering to the name Pete. Or George. Depending on which set of neighbors you ask.

I forgot you have a cat named Elvis. Which surprises me less than the fact that you haven't already boiled him and served him up in a stew.

Stafford's brother is named Pete, FYI.

Glad you enjoyed this, My First Ever Trip Report. I vaguely recall your screename from when I used to just write about any old thing and stuffed it all under the rubric: Disney Vacation. Here's hoping you're less offensive on the Trip Report board than you used to be. I don't know how much of your brand of whatever I can put up with anymore.

SNEEZIE!Why would you bake a cake?! From scratch no less?! Don't you know that box cake beats scratch any day of the week?!

Unlike you, I do think about my good friend Sneeize in between Trip Reports. When we were in Florida, my Mom picked us up an Italian cream cake. You'd think you died and went to cake heaven! It was so good, I lost feeling in my big toe for 10 minutes. And my wife and I wondered what Greta would do if she got this kind of cake for her birthday.

I can't believe you have a new report here today of all days. Let me explain. I was at Target today and I almost got run over by what I thought could be your car. Why your car? Because it was red, had a huge BAMA sticker on it and a smaller Roll Tide decal. I realized it wasn't your car though, because it actually had an Alabama license plate. But what gets me here is that I thought of ZZUB today, like I should know you and know what your car might look like and here is a new trip report, that's not really a trip report. I can't wait to hear all about it.

For what it's worth, I don't live in North Carolina and I don't drive a red car and I don't have a huge Bama sticker on my ride. I have a repectable sized Alabama decal in the window. And an Alabama license plate frame. But glad my cousin Ernie promted you to come check out my First Ever Trip Report.

 

[Sneezie]

SNEEZIE!Why would you bake a cake?! From scratch no less?! Don't you know that box cake beats scratch any day of the week?!

Unlike you, I do think about my good friend Sneeize in between Trip Reports. When we were in Florida, my Mom picked us up an Italian cream cake. You'd think you died and went to cake heaven! It was so good, I lost feeling in my big toe for 10 minutes. And my wife and I wondered what Greta would do if she got this kind of cake for her birthday.

I do think about the Zzubster more than I care to admit. Wait, that sounds a bit freaky.... Let's just say I have mentioned the word Zzub a time or two when NOT on the internet or in Canada or in a bathroom. Scratch that - once in bathroom... but not for that reason - for the other reason - yeah, that one.

Anyway, on to more important things... Exactly where in Florida was your mother when she picked up that cake? I could do without feeling in my big toe for some good Italian Cream Cake.

 

[LaLa]

I suppose next you'll tell us that it wasn't Teppanyaki after all, it was the Tomorrowland Terrace Noodle Station. And that you weren't actually in the World Showcase as much as you were in the food court at the Mall of America. You know they make medication for your condition.

I forgot you have a cat named Elvis. Which surprises me less than the fact that you haven't already boiled him and served him up in a stew.

You know I'm not Chinese.

I should have known you were going to be starting a new trip report today!

You know how some people get a twitch in their old football injury when the weather's about to get bad, well this past Saturday at seven o'clock at night no less, I got up from a very comfortable position in bed and MADE A CAKE... FROM SCRATCH!!!!!

It was a Glazed Orange Cake. I'd been looking at the recipe for a few days and just got up and made it. First, I had to go up to the Winn Dixie (in the rain) to buy the ingredients and I made the cake... from scratch. That should have told me something, but to be quite honest, I don't give you a second thought between your trip reports.

And that's the ballgame.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

Hey ZZUB -
You people have absolutely got to buy into the DVC at the Contemporary! Not for you, for us.....50 more years of guaranteed entertainment.

 

[Sneezie]

Is Sneezie pregnant?! Because that could explain it too.

Gawd forbid a million times!

 

[Mrs. The King]

I am done snubbing you. I am sure you are relieved.

It’s as if Disney was AIG and I was the federal government.

DED AbsoDEDlutely

like many not-quite middle aged Americans

I think we can stop with the "not quite" cutesy bologna.

Even though I make time to spend with my wife and my girls at home, it is undeniably true that I am different on vacation. We all are. And we enjoy that time together.

So true.

Not it's not either.

So this is what the Battle of the Wallet comes to? You just slap your hands on the keyboard and post whatever turns up on the screen? I am going to need to speak with your manager.

vomit splatters and bed stains, the degradation of service, the heat, the smells,

I did not know you stayed in my hotel room after me! What a small world. I am going to need my rubber monkey back.

Cast Members With Poop Cramps

The Missing Bag

I hope these two chapters are not related and that bag isn't something hooked up to a bowel.

It is this same kind of discipline that keeps me on the eliptical 4 nights a week and away from the Swiss Cake Rolls I love so much.

How many times a day do you work this beauty into conversation a day?

You bet your ever-loving refillable mug I’d pay extra for that view.

Stealing this saying for my everyday life.

 

[longaberger_lara]

Fellow Alabamian here! I've lurked a while now and just love your non-trip reports. We seem to have mostly the same values about God and family, but I've just got to say WAR EAGLE (though not so great this past weekend ). I'm so glad to see that you're going to share a bit more of you and your family with us!

 

[Mcbruns]

Awesome !
A ZZUB trip report that isn't a trip report with LaLa's responses.

 

[mickey mouse lover]

ZZUB, I just don't know what to say except thank you, thank you , thank you. It's so good to see that you're actually writing another trip report, that isn't a trip report, or is it ? I have been so sad thinking we weren't going to get anymore of your brilliant writing. O.K., so maybe brilliant might be a little bit much, but you get my drift. I don't want to lay it on too thick. You might give up trying.
Seriously though, ZZub, it is great to see you back writing. Looking forward to the rest of the non trip report. My husband will be delighted, too. He always enjoyed my reading the reports to him, that is when I could quit laughing to actually read.

 

[OhMari]

Great intro, but why was I picturing you, walking around, dictating to your poor secretary~~and her typing it up. (just kidding).

 

[princessjv]

If this really isn't a TR, should I sign up to follow along?



You put a smile on my face with your honest reference of days gone by and dreams to get to places ahead. A nice smile.


Welcome back. Should I be prepared to wait 1 or 2 weeks between posts?