The Importance of Being Prepared

[kymom99]

I don't know that I would blame buying things as much as just not teaching. My parents bought all my clothes and food through high school except for a few frivolous extra clothes that were just things I wanted and didn't need. They still taught me how to save for what I wanted for toys, what a credit card meant and how it should be used.

I remember my friends thinking I was weird once because as Dad dropped me off for a trip with some friends he asked if I had enough money. I had money on me that I set aside for the trip so told Dad I was all set. They wondered why I wouldn't just get more.

I had to explain to them that the reason he was so willing to give me money was that I do generally spend ok and don't take it if I don't need it. He just wanted to make sure I didn't forget it (I was still very prone to the typical young teenager forgetting my purse at home problems)

My dad used to ask me if I had gas money, or if I needed any money. I almost always said I had enough even if I had to dig out my change. I knew my parents didn’t have a lot of money and I also didn’t want to have to answer t them about how I spent my money. They bought necessities and helped me with some things but I paid for a lot with what I earned.

 

[kamik86]

Wait. Were we supposed to grow out of that?

Actually I just learned I will never keep track of a purse and stopped carrying one. I can handle a backpack but if I'm just going out shopping my wallet is in my pocket and I don't' have a purse.

 

[1st*toright]

The people that I've known throughout my lifetime that actually live paycheck to paycheck it means if they don't get that paycheck they don't eat, they don't have gas for their cars, they don't have money for their utilities or other expensese and so they ration it out. That means lapsed cell phone (meaning their phones are shut off until they pay their bills), that means they have to figure out can I take the hit for not paying this bill, etc.

Honestly? I think your example isn't truly paycheck to paycheck. You have savings, something that I often don't see with people who truly do live paycheck to paycheck, and while you don't want to use up those savings if you had to you could, for even just a short time.

IDK I get what you're saying but I think the true gravity of folks who are in real tough situations (whether it's their own doing or just their circumstances or a combo) gets muddled when people who have the ability to activity choose to allocate funds to savings or have even the $ to shift towards 401ks, who can take a vacation, etc describe their situations as living paycheck to paycheck.

I agree that there is a vast difference between people who are one paycheck away from having their utilities shut off and someone who has a buffer between them and that kind of situation. I'm pretty sure a huge portion of the population feels like they don't have enough money - I remember a few years ago there was a guy who published something about how making $250 a year didn't make him rich, because he had to pay private school tuition and save for retirement. That is obviously ridiculous, and plenty of people schooled him on what being poor actually means. You are right that describing a situation where there is enough money for necessities and some luxuries and/or retirement savings as "paycheck to paycheck" is probably stretching the meaning of that phrase, I was just pointing out that people view their own financial situation in various ways.

Every penny I make is allocated out before I get my next paycheck, but since that allocation includes general savings, retirement, college planning, vacation budget etc., I would never describe my personal financial situation as paycheck to paycheck. I'm fortunate enough to be in a phase of life where I'm able to save, and while lots of people make more than I do, I can support a pretty comfortable lifestyle (again, something I'm grateful for). When I was first married we were fully in the paycheck to paycheck camp, where a car repair would mean that rent got paid late. Taught me a whole lot about needs vs. wants and sticking to a budget - thank goodness neither of us got injured or sick, esp. when we didn't have health insurance. That could have created a financial hole that would have been devastating for years.

In thinking about the shutdown, I feel for the people who are really living paycheck to paycheck who are having to rely on social services or go without necessities due to this silly situation. Absolutely, the folks with some savings are in much better shape (because eventually this will get resolved and they will get paid, so the savings will be replenished, provided they have enough savings to cover as long as this lasts). I feel for them too, though, because no one deserves this kind of disruption in their financial life!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I agree that there is a vast difference between people who are one paycheck away from having their utilities shut off and someone who has a buffer between them and that kind of situation. I'm pretty sure a huge portion of the population feels like they don't have enough money - I remember a few years ago there was a guy who published something about how making $250 a year didn't make him rich, because he had to pay private school tuition and save for retirement. That is obviously ridiculous, and plenty of people schooled him on what being poor actually means. You are right that describing a situation where there is enough money for necessities and some luxuries and/or retirement savings as "paycheck to paycheck" is probably stretching the meaning of that phrase, I was just pointing out that people view their own financial situation in various ways.

Every penny I make is allocated out before I get my next paycheck, but since that allocation includes general savings, retirement, college planning, vacation budget etc., I would never describe my personal financial situation as paycheck to paycheck. I'm fortunate enough to be in a phase of life where I'm able to save, and while lots of people make more than I do, I can support a pretty comfortable lifestyle (again, something I'm grateful for). When I was first married we were fully in the paycheck to paycheck camp, where a car repair would mean that rent got paid late. Taught me a whole lot about needs vs. wants and sticking to a budget - thank goodness neither of us got injured or sick, esp. when we didn't have health insurance. That could have created a financial hole that would have been devastating for years.

In thinking about the shutdown, I feel for the people who are really living paycheck to paycheck who are having to rely on social services or go without necessities due to this silly situation. Absolutely, the folks with some savings are in much better shape (because eventually this will get resolved and they will get paid, so the savings will be replenished, provided they have enough savings to cover as long as this lasts). I feel for them too, though, because no one deserves this kind of disruption in their financial life!

I can agree with what you're saying. I appreciate you explaining your thoughts

 

[kamik86]

I agree that there is a vast difference between people who are one paycheck away from having their utilities shut off and someone who has a buffer between them and that kind of situation. I'm pretty sure a huge portion of the population feels like they don't have enough money - I remember a few years ago there was a guy who published something about how making $250 a year didn't make him rich, because he had to pay private school tuition and save for retirement. That is obviously ridiculous, and plenty of people schooled him on what being poor actually means. You are right that describing a situation where there is enough money for necessities and some luxuries and/or retirement savings as "paycheck to paycheck" is probably stretching the meaning of that phrase, I was just pointing out that people view their own financial situation in various ways.

Every penny I make is allocated out before I get my next paycheck, but since that allocation includes general savings, retirement, college planning, vacation budget etc., I would never describe my personal financial situation as paycheck to paycheck. I'm fortunate enough to be in a phase of life where I'm able to save, and while lots of people make more than I do, I can support a pretty comfortable lifestyle (again, something I'm grateful for). When I was first married we were fully in the paycheck to paycheck camp, where a car repair would mean that rent got paid late. Taught me a whole lot about needs vs. wants and sticking to a budget - thank goodness neither of us got injured or sick, esp. when we didn't have health insurance. That could have created a financial hole that would have been devastating for years.

In thinking about the shutdown, I feel for the people who are really living paycheck to paycheck who are having to rely on social services or go without necessities due to this silly situation. Absolutely, the folks with some savings are in much better shape (because eventually this will get resolved and they will get paid, so the savings will be replenished, provided they have enough savings to cover as long as this lasts). I feel for them too, though, because no one deserves this kind of disruption in their financial life!

I agree that having every dollar of your paycheck allocated before you see it doesn't mean paycheck to paycheck. I mean if right now you got a $200 a month raise I'm pretty sure you would just budget which savings accounts are getting those extra 200. That is what I would do. All this means is you have a budget.

The only reason I can't exactly say that is my husband's pay varies. He works retail so I budgeted based on hours of X per week and because I didn't want my budget to be messed up I did that on a low number. Sometimes he has overtime and a holiday day at time and a half and we have much more, sometimes we put a bit less in savings but either way we know how much is going to certain places.

 

[tink89]

If you have money for savings and vacations and other unforeseen expenses then you are not living paycheck to paycheck. To me paycheck to paycheck is having enough for the necessities which are rent, food, bills, gas and having to decide what you will spend those last few dollars on. Having a budget and having little to no extra funds for misc. because you have decided to put money away for college, savings, retirement, etc is not living paycheck to paycheck. Once you actually live paycheck to paycheck you realize the difference.

 

[MrsPete]

It is so important to put every little amount away. Even for those who are more fortunate to have much more one does never know when something can happen.

Absolutely true. Yes, some people are living "so close to the financial edge" that they genuinely are making good choices and still cannot save ... but most of us could cut back on groceries, get rid of cable TV, skip dinner out, wear those old jeans and shoes another year and could save more. All of us experience the occasional financial crisis (big or small), and it's smart to put aside something from every single paycheck, to pay off your mortgage, to hoard canned goods. Be ready for an emergency.

i'm in my mid 50's, went to college in the 80's-it was SO EASY to get lines of credit/credit cards and run up a mountain of debt back then.

Absolutely true. I remember the credit card people were always set up outside the bookstore, at the mall ... everywhere. And they gave you gifts just for applying for credit cards.
Phones were another way students our age got themselves into financial trouble. Obviously, we didn't have cell phones, but about half of all the dorm students had land-lines in their rooms. A whole lot of students didn't realize just how much long distance cost, and they'd run up $300-400 phone bills in their first month away from home. Jobs all paid minimum wage back then, which was $3.35/hour ... and I knew a slew of freshmen who ran through their entire summer job savings in a single month or two because of their phones. Not a problem today because "long distance calls" have ceased to be a thing.

I am 40 - I graduated High School in 1996 and I didn't learn a single thing you mentioned above in school.

I learned tons of things about financial responsibility in high school, and today -- as a teacher -- I know those same things are being taught in high school. I remember my algebra teacher making us repeat out loud, "I want a simple interest loan with no pre-payment penalty". I see my sophomore homeroom students completing worksheets about credit card debt. I was supervising a final exam just today in a Civics class, and I noted that some of the questions were about budgets and financial priorities.

So why don't these things "stick"? I think it's because teens assume they're not important. They're all going to be big-time singers, football players, actors. They seem to think that doing well financially has to do with making the right choices ... and those who know they aren't going to make it in the NBA seem to think they're making reasonable choices by saying they'll be lawyers and neuro-surgeons. The reality portion has to come from home.

You can still be bankrupted in this country by medical bills, even with health insurance.

Yes, and that's scary.

There are plenty of people who will credit their own success exclusively to their hard work and intelligence, without acknowledging that where you start has a huge impact on how far you've come.

It's not impossible to start from the back of the pack and "catch up". I was a free lunch /Welfare kid, but I realized in high school that education was my ticket out ... and I made good choices. In retrospect, I can see now that I could've done better. If I were suddenly 18 again, I'd join the military -- full time, reserves? I don't know which, but it would've been a good choice for me.

Even if it was taught in school (not in my schools), it boils down to how the knowledge was/is applied. My mom taught me how to balance a checkbook, but I certainly blew it off for years. I'd like to slap my younger self.

My mom didn't exactly set a great example for me, but one thing she did do right: The summer before I was a high school senior, she took me to the bank and helped me open a checking account -- and she encouraged me to use it. Whereas most of my dorm mates came to college with a brand-new checkbook, I had a whole year of checking account practice before heading out to college. I did the same thing for my kids ... except that I updated their experience to include a debit card.

And many parents are to blame by buying kids everything they want whenever they want it.

One of the best decisions my husband and I ever made: We decided to give our kids less than we could afford to give them. Oh, they never went without anything they needed, but they had less than their peers, we taught them to appreciate what they were given, and we taught them to work /save for luxuries.

It makes me so proud when he comes home and tells me the things he's learning, "Mom, society today just thinks debt is natural and just part of life."

I do think that's a big difference between my generation and my daughters' generation. When I was in college, I was perfectly aware that borrowing was a choice, but I never really considered it. I never felt sure that tomorrow would be better than today, and I was willing to double-up on jobs /do without rather than sell a portion of my future. Most of my college classmates were similarly debt-averse.
Today borrowing seems to be the first choice rather than a last resort.
I was typical in starting college without a car of my own, but my daughters were unusual in being car-less.
Almost all my college friends had jobs and were responsible for at least their own spending money and books, whereas my daughters were unusual in having part-time jobs.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Almost all my college friends had jobs and were responsible for at least their own spending money and books, whereas my daughters were unusual in having part-time jobs.

Part of that though is parents prohibiting college age individuals from getting jobs-usually for the reason of focusing on schooling. People on this very Board have said it too.

My father-in-law's wife has prohibited her son from taking his car to college campus (she's what you would deem a helicopter mom) which severely limits his ability anyways to get a job and she didn't really want him to get a job either. He's just starting though as an RA this semester (he's a sophmore) which doesn't require his car (good thing too because she's still prohibited him from having it at college).

No doubt though for some it's motivation issues.

 

[Dakota731]

I have so many friends who say “I don’t want my child ( high school or college) working since I want them concentrating on school”. However studies have proven that kids with part time job also do better in school since they learn to budget their time (and money) Plus it gives them less time to party and spend cash lol.

 

[kamik86]

Part of that though is parents prohibiting college age individuals from getting jobs-usually for the reason of focusing on schooling. People on this very Board have said it too.

My father-in-law's wife has prohibited her son from taking his car to college campus (she's what you would deem a helicopter mom) which severely limits his ability anyways to get a job and she didn't really want him to get a job either. He's just starting though as an RA this semester (he's a sophmore) which doesn't require his car (good thing too because she's still prohibited him from having it at college).

No doubt though for some it's motivation issues.

I think that is silly. There was a kid that tried to get his first internship (school required them) that I remember having a hard time because he had no work experience of any kind. Not even volunteer type stuff. I don't know if his parents forbade it but the vast majority of the students in college had some type of part time job at least in the summers in high school and until the internships started in college. He ended up with his first internship being through the school since most of the companies passed him over for someone with some type of work experience.

If the school hadn't required internships he would have been looking for a first full time job without ever having had any kind of job. Can't imagine that would have been easy to find.

 

[crazylady]

And that's really different than what I see today.

I see mostly financial responsibility and some bad breaks in life for those who are seemingly are not doing ok.

I see bad breaks in life but I also see people who need to get the newest i-phone every year, have a new model car and a big old house with TV's in every room. People have alot more discretionary spending than in years past which I think contributes to how hard you have to work to claw your way out of the hole when you have one of life's bad breaks. (That's not to say I don't also have issues with discretionary spending some times too)

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I think that is silly. There was a kid that tried to get his first internship (school required them) that I remember having a hard time because he had no work experience of any kind. Not even volunteer type stuff. I don't know if his parents forbade it but the vast majority of the students in college had some type of part time job at least in the summers in high school and until the internships started in college. He ended up with his first internship being through the school since most of the companies passed him over for someone with some type of work experience.

If the school hadn't required internships he would have been looking for a first full time job without ever having had any kind of job. Can't imagine that would have been easy to find.

I think it's kind of a catch 22 honestly.

On the one hand it can free up good time to concentrate on schooling..I'd be lying if I saidthat there were nights when I was working but should have been studying.

On the other hand it's probably worse off for individuals who didn't have a job at any point and so then they graduate at roughly 22 with little work experience.

I was more or less responding because seeing and knowing students that don't have job isn't always because they lack motivation to get one it can be at times because their parents have told them they can't get a job because they need to focus on school. Hard to blame the students in that case.

 

[runwad]

Ok but what's the excuse for not having a job in the summer, when schools out???

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Ok but what's the excuse for not having a job in the summer, when schools out???

For the type of parents I was initially describing, like my father-in-law's wife, there isn't one really. That's sorta my point. There is a difference between having little to no motivation and not having a job because your parents don't want you to for whatever reasons they give.

I had a job at 16 and was working all through college. I don't fall into either category but I know people who do and it's been said on the Board as well.

 

[Eureka]

Ok but what's the excuse for not having a job in the summer, when schools out???

My kids worked last summer (they were 15 and 17) and had very little time to spend what they earned, so they are very happy with their bank accounts right now, and liked being busy. But, for example, the summer my DS18 was 16, he did not work because he had a lot of other things going on: swim team, driver's ed, a week-long competition in another state for a school club, lots of summer work for that fall's AP and honors classes. We didn't push him to get a job because we also wanted him to have some down time.

 

[Southernmiss]

Ok but what's the excuse for not having a job in the summer, when schools out???

No one will interview you or wants to spend the $ on training someone who will be there for mid May to end of July.

Happened to my 2 college sons last year. One son was hired by Cracker Barrel as a dishwasher for that time, but he made very little after paying for oxford shirts, pants and special non slip shoes they required. He got a real taste of what work a minimum wage job can be and how difficult the people who work in that environment can be. Seems that position is never filled long in our area.

Other son had only one interview and was told they didn't want to hire temp workers.

Apparently, the job market for summer help is not that great here.

Both sons will likely stay at their apartment in their college town 5 hours away and keep their part time jobs in that town this summer.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

No one will interview you or wants to spend the $ on training someone who will be there for mid May to end of July.

Happened to my 2 college sons last year. One son was hired by Cracker Barrel as a dishwasher for that time, but he made very little after paying for oxford shirts, pants and special non slip shoes they required. He got a real taste of what work a minimum wage job can be and how difficult the people who work in that environment can be. Seems that position is never filled long in our area.

Other son had only one interview and was told they didn't want to hire temp workers.

Apparently, the job market for summer help is not that great here.

Both sons will likely stay at their apartment in their college town 5 hours away and keep their part time jobs in that town this summer.

There's some truth to that for sure. I think depending on what place they'd be more than willing to hire someone even for temp, they do that for Christmas season all the time, they do that for Halloween time period (I myself did that for Spirit Halloween for 3 years in college-you get hired late August/early sometimes mid-September and it would be done a few days into November). I know for sure some of the fast food or faster sit down places would love to get workers, it's just getting them in the first place.

On the other hand working at pools or for the city/count/etc and whatnot is fairly common around here during the summer or at least they advertise that a lot.

I think the particular area one is in can def. have an impact on summer work but I also think that perhaps the type of summer work done may vary. Here, for example, pools are only open Memorial Day-Labor Day--they absolutely expect you to only work temp work. It's the nature of the beast.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My kids worked last summer (they were 15 and 17) and had very little time to spend what they earned, so they are very happy with their bank accounts right now, and liked being busy. But, for example, the summer my DS18 was 16, he did not work because he had a lot of other things going on: swim team, driver's ed, a week-long competition in another state for a school club, lots of summer work for that fall's AP and honors classes. We didn't push him to get a job because we also wanted him to have some down time.

Over-scheduling is also a valid point. I'm not necessarily saying your children were over-scheduled but that's the way I can think to describe that. I do think sometimes for some it depends on the pros and cons to that and the potentional positive and negative to having the individual be busy with stuff (whatever it may be) in lieu of a job. Age can also play a role as well-a new 16 year old could be different than someone who is turning 18 soon for example.

 

[Eureka]

Over-scheduling is also a valid point. I'm not necessarily saying your children were over-scheduled but that's the way I can think to describe that. I do think sometimes for some it depends on the pros and cons to that and the potentional positive and negative to having the individual be busy with stuff (whatever it may be) in lieu of a job. Age can also play a role as well-a new 16 year old could be different than someone who is turning 18 soon for example.

I guess I'd say yes and no. For example, driver's ed was only two weeks, but then he was out of state for another week so that was three weeks where his work hours would have been limited/not possible if he had a job. Swim team was early mornings and then he had most of the day free and would either do his work, see friends or whatever. So it was not exactly that he was busy to the point of being overscheduled all summer, but just that he had a lot of things going on that would impact when he could actually work...which in turn would impact him being able to find an accommodating job.

 

[Southernmiss]

I guess I'd say yes and no. For example, driver's ed was only two weeks, but then he was out of state for another week so that was three weeks where his work hours would have been limited/not possible if he had a job. Swim team was early mornings and then he had most of the day free and would either do his work, see friends or whatever. So it was not exactly that he was busy to the point of being overscheduled all summer, but just that he had a lot of things going on that would impact when he could actually work...which in turn would impact him being able to find an accommodating job.

I think this is pretty typical for many involved high school students. There's a lot of summer sport practices now and summer AP assignments and out of town learning/volunteering opportunities that limit their availability.

To add to my earlier comment, most fast food and other typical part time employers here are now corporations whose hiring process is corporate controlled and takes more time than it should for background checks, in processing and training. This took our son about a month to push through just for Cracker Barrel. The on line training he was required to do in no way helped his ability to be an effective bus boy/dishwasher.

He talked himself into the Cracker Barrel job by saying that he'd transfer to the one 30 miles from his college town. The interviewer gave him the job. But after our son's experience at our local one, he never even checked out the one nearest his college town.

He instead walked back into his college town job with much better working conditions and people to work for and better pay 10 minutes from his apartment and never looked back. He also got his brother hired there. Both have been very happy and spent only a very limited time at home over Christmas break so that they could go back to work.

Our high school junior daughter has been working as a goal keeper trainer and teaching tots how to play soccer. This job works with her availability. And is a pretty typical job of active kids here.