Things that parents do - my pet peeves

[kevschickee]

flame me if you want but I have to say this. Unless you are a parent do not try and judge us. Please do not say well I babysit no its not the same at all. I am a yeller at times, I am a germaphobe at times and no my children can not have ice cream for dinner. You are in no place to judge if you have never been there.

 

[missfigment]

I dont understand why we as parents do this to ourselves? Why on earth do people give a flying flip about how other people are conducting themselves? Why do we need to pass judgement on those around us, like we do it right EVERY time? Especially making this judgement in a theme park of all places.

Why is it that people expect that every family is going to have this Magical transformation upon entering Disney property? That the children will be smiling, will be happy and will polite? That the adults will keep their cool and will agree with everything their partner has to say. Its a vacation. A vacation that people have spent hundreds maybe a thousand dollars on and you say take the kid home if he or she is throwing a tantrum???? (and punish the sister/brother who is not throwing the tantrum?) It's a theme park that is jammed packed with people. Standing in 50 min lines and in sweltering heat at times and you are surprised at the kid who is whining? The kid who is freaking out? The parent that is freaking out? Nope! I'm not surprised. I may not LIKE it, but hey they aren't my kid....I'll just try to make sure my kid is behaving. That's MY business. It's a theme park, not Buckingham Palace. People dont use their best manners here just like they dont at the park, at the mall, at the store.

I may not LIKE the fact the person who choses to change their kid on the bench. But I just wont go and sit on that bench. I may not like the fact the kid is screaming in line behind me and the parent is choosing to ignore it. But i also dont like it at a grocery store or at the mall either. So why would I be any more appalled its happening at disney. If anything I understand it MORE at disney.

You probably wont like the fact that I have a harness on my child at disney. Or that I may nurse my baby under a blanket on a ride. Or that I let my kid have ice cream before his dinner. But this is life and people dont always act the way we think they should. Heaven forbid someone catch those who are judging others for exhibiting less than perfect beahviors at THEIR embarrassing moments.

 

[clanmcculloch]

Food intolerances do not cause reactions within the immune system. Food intolerances occur when a body lacks the proper enzymes to break down the offending food, i.e. lactose intolerance. This normally causes gastrointestinal problems. Other than that one symptom, the symptoms of allergic reactions and food intolerances are very different.

This is only one type of intollerance. Yes, lactose intollerance is that type of intollerance. I'm referring to things like IgG or IgA reactions where the body produced antibodies against a certian food. A true allergy results in IgE antibodies being produced. Intollerances result in IgG or IgA or in some cases I believe maybe even IgM antibodies. Antibodies being produced in response to exposure to a substance is immune in nature.

From what that poster has posted the child is not special needs. The same poster also thinks you can cure diabetes with some cinnamon and brain tumors with chiropractic care. My concern was genuine that if the child is indeed acting out so violently when they have a drop of corn syrup then I would hope they would talk to their pediatrician to make sure there isn't something else going on as well. I know I would find that type of behavior upsetting as a parent and would want to make sure that it was simply the corn syrup and nothing else.
I am very familiar with the Feingold diet. I do know that children can have reactions to certain things but the episodes described are not typical and seem to happen instantaniously. Could they possibly happen? Anything is possible and I do know someone very well who reacts terribly to certain foods but they do not have one bite and instantly bounce off the walls. The effects though of the reaction can last for days though unfortunately. I wish we could wave a magic wand and make the kids not have to deal with it at all.

In no way was I suggesting that the poster said their child was special needs. I was showing that in special needs communities this is widely discussed. The special need isn't what causes the resonse. The response happens to be seen widely in special needs kids.

I absolutely agree that it should be discussed with the child's pediatrician. My only caviate is that even if the pediatrician says there's no reason to limit HFCS that she should still avoid it. Far too many doctors don't understand food intollerances or even food allergies for that matter. I agree that testing would be a very good idea. I'm not familiar with the poster's history so I can't speak to some of the things you've mentioned. I do believe in alternative therapies, but under guidance of medical professionals who understand them. Cinnamon has been shown to be good for diabetes but in no way is anywhere near a cure. Something like chiropractic care for brain tumors I can only imagine trying to ease some of the symptoms of either the tumor itself or the treatment, unless doctors have said that conventional treatments just aren't a good option in which case where's the harm in trying something like chiropractors? KWIM? I'm definitely somebody who believes in traditional medicine, but I do believe that naturopathic medicine has it's place side by side with it.

Yes, that type of reaction can happen that violently and that instantly. Unless you've witnessed it yourself it seems hard to believe, but it really can. With my daughter and with myself, certain foods cause instant reactions (for my daughter it's yeast, for me it's beef; I know I have to sit down immediately as I get horrible virtigo so I can only imagine how it would feel to a child) and certain foods have delayed reactions resulting in as much as 2 weeks of cycling symptoms (gluten does this one to both of us though thank goodness my daughter only seems to have maybe 4 or 5 days of symptoms unlike my 2 weeks of symptoms).

I don't presume to tell anyone how to parent thier child, or what ot give them or not, but as a biochemist I can confirm that you are correct about intolerance versus allergy. A food intolerance does not produce an immune response. Resoponses to food intolerances can be extreme. The child profiled in the movie Lorenzo's Oil is an example. These type of extreme responses however are normally brought on from repeated exposure to a food that is not digested and biulds up in the system. I just don't see how exposure to a small amount of HCFS could cause a violent response like the one described by a poster here. I have heard this type of anecdotal evidence before and in almost every case I have read about that was properly investigated and allergy tested it turned out to be an allergy to something else in the food, often a preservative or food dye. I would definitely look deeper into something like this before I blame it on HCFS. If it is being caused by the HCFS, all corn products should be causeing some degree of symptoms as well as this is indicitave of an allergy rather than an intolerance.

See my explaination above of intollerance. The issue with Lorenzo's Oil I don't believe is classified as an intollerance and you are describing only one type of food reaction. Have you ever heard of celiac? There are MANY different types of reactions to foods.

My daughters as well as myself have all had tests done BY DOCTORS who have identified both food allergies and food intollerances based on skin tests as well as antibody tests. Most allergists will tell you that if it's not an IgE response then it's not an allergy. That doesn't mean the reaction isn't immune in nature. Being a biochemist doesn't mean that you're familiar with all medical tests and medical advances in all areas. I wouldn't even expect a doctor to be familiar with everything, especially outside his/her area of specialty. Being a biochemist doesn't mean you know everything about medicine. You've never seen an immediate reaction to a food where it's not a diagnosed allergy. Well, I'm happy for you. That means you don't have a loved one with this problem. Don't go telling others that it can't happen when we've lived with it happening.

 

[missfigment]

Also....

as for the comment about a child who is American born and does not speak English?

No it doesnt bother me in the slightest. Even though the kid is American born, his parents may only speak Spanish or some other language at home. If the parent doesnt speak English, and the child has yet to be of school age, then how do you expect them to learn English? I feel its more important for the child to be able to communicate with his family in those early years. English will come.

So does it bother me? Nope! What bothers me more is the fact that many people believe America is an assimilating melting pot. America is a salad bowl, made up of many different cultures and languages.

 

[TXSchoolNurse]

I love Disney and it's magic but I find myself open mouthed at times. Sorry if I upset but here are my pet peeves:

1. Shouting at children at Disney, while we all get tired and frustrated I hate to see parents shouting, moaning or getting on at their Children while at the most magical place on earth. It should be a magical fun time not a time to make them unhappy. Relax some of the rules that apply at home let them eat ice-cream for lunch etc, it's vacation, it's hot, it's supposed to be fun. I always mumble under my breath in an ironic tone - "happy families - bring your child on vacation to shout at them"

2. The constant "germaphobes". Making your child frighten to touch anything, as a nation I think we are becoming obsessed with contamination and it is gradually taking over people lives. A JAMA study found that children in large families suffered fewer illnesses than children in smaller families, suggesting that larger families exposed children to more germs, which increased their immunity to common infections. Early germ expose boosts the immune system later in life. So be resonable and instead of constantly sanitizing your kids hands, telling them not to touch something, instilling paranoia, give them an orange, well what I really mean is make sure they are getting the right nutrition to make sure they are boosting their defenses and teach them proper hand washing.

3. Trying to push the kids to see everything in one day. Get up early go till lunchtime, take a break back at the hotel, swim, nap and rest go back out later on. It makes it more enjoyable for everyone.

I am a school nurse and i absolutely agree with you about germaphobes. While we must practice hygienic procedures....some people have gone too far. We have natural bacteria that help protect us from the bad stuff and overuse of hand sanitizer and hot water kills the good stuff and leaves us more prone to getting things like fungal infections and such! There must be a happy medium....

 

[Mouse House Mama]

ClanMcCullloch-
I PM's you.

 

[prinkle]

I dont understand why we as parents do this to ourselves? Why on earth do people give a flying flip about how other people are conducting themselves? Why do we need to pass judgement on those around us, like we do it right EVERY time? Especially making this judgement in a theme park of all places.

Why is it that people expect that every family is going to have this Magical transformation upon entering Disney property? That the children will be smiling, will be happy and will polite? That the adults will keep their cool and will agree with everything their partner has to say. Its a vacation. A vacation that people have spent hundreds maybe a thousand dollars on and you say take the kid home if he or she is throwing a tantrum???? (and punish the sister/brother who is not throwing the tantrum?) It's a theme park that is jammed packed with people. Standing in 50 min lines and in sweltering heat at times and you are surprised at the kid who is whining? The kid who is freaking out? The parent that is freaking out? Nope! I'm not surprised. I may not LIKE it, but hey they aren't my kid....I'll just try to make sure my kid is behaving. That's MY business. It's a theme park, not Buckingham Palace. People dont use their best manners here just like they dont at the park, at the mall, at the store.

I may not LIKE the fact the person who choses to change their kid on the bench. But I just wont go and sit on that bench. I may not like the fact the kid is screaming in line behind me and the parent is choosing to ignore it. But i also dont like it at a grocery store or at the mall either. So why would I be any more appalled its happening at disney. If anything I understand it MORE at disney.

You probably wont like the fact that I have a harness on my child at disney. Or that I may nurse my baby under a blanket on a ride. Or that I let my kid have ice cream before his dinner. But this is life and people dont always act the way we think they should. Heaven forbid someone catch those who are judging others for exhibiting less than perfect beahviors at THEIR embarrassing moments.

AMEN &THANK YOU!!!! I get it.. this is a formum for pet peeves but many have made it a bashing forum... I just don't get it!?!?! When those who are sooo judgemental and opinionated get to their trip in Disney I truel hope you can stand up to your own words.. I doubt that you will!!!!
I hope all enjoy THEIR vacation and have a magical trip!!!!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Or that I may nurse my baby under a blanket on a ride.

Good for you!!! I'm all for it 110%!
I perform mammography and it amazes me how so many women have forgotten what breasts are really for.

 

[polineedyan]

My biggest pet peeve is watching parents go into this long schmeal when reprimanding kids. "What are you thinking? What is wrong with you? You need to start bla bla bla-ing.."
Give your kids clear, explicit direction. "stand by me, and dont touch anything." goes alot further than "That is very expensive, get away from that, you need to start respecting me..Do you KNOW what youre doing?
I just hate that. Be clear, concise, and head them off at the pass. Dont wait for something to happen and then go all into this long psychobabble stuff..your kid is NOT listening past the first sentence..

 

[turkeymama]

This is only one type of intollerance. Yes, lactose intollerance is that type of intollerance. I'm referring to things like IgG or IgA reactions where the body produced antibodies against a certian food. A true allergy results in IgE antibodies being produced. Intollerances result in IgG or IgA or in some cases I believe maybe even IgM antibodies. Antibodies being produced in response to exposure to a substance is immune in nature.

My first response to this was aimed at clarifying the difference between an allergy and intolerance. The reason I posted at all was not to get in a battle over medical terms with anyone. I really hate that it seems I am arguing now, because that isn't what I meant to do. It is frustrating to constantly deal with the confusion between allergies and intolerances. This confusion is why most people don't take food allergies seriously. It sounds like you are speaking of general adverse reactions to food, as opposed to allergies or intolerances specifically. If that is the case, I misunderstood the original post and I'm sorry.

Most accredited allergists (at least all the ones I have come into contact with) will affirm that anytime antibodies are produced in response to a food, that is indicative of an allergy. A food intolerance can't cause anaphylaxis, difficulty breathing, swelling of the mucus membranes, or rash. Food allergies can cause all of those things because the immune system is involved.

I won't even go into HFCS since I have never dealt with it. I have read that there is some controversy over whether or not red dye #40 really causes reactions in children, but again, I have no experience with it, and my research tells me that allergists do in fact test for it. There must be something there. If I'm not mistaken, Celiac is considered a different animal completely.

http://food-allergies.suite101.com/article.cfm/food_allergies_vs_food_intolerance

I am bowing out of this part of the discussion now as it has gotten completely off topic of parental pet-peeves in a theme park. I'll accept my part of the blame for that and I apologize.

Back on topic now. I have been guilty of committing several of these offenses while at Disney with my kids. I have raised my voice at them, I have refused to let them eat junk if it was close to an actual meal-time, I have allowed my daughter to walk around in a Jasmine costume while she complained about being cold, I have let her walk around in Princess shoes that were too big and/or too uncomfortable, and I have refused to allow her to sleep late. I even changed my son's diaper in his stroller because all the changing stations were occupied and I didn't feel like waiting my turn. Once, I changed his diaper in the restroom while he was standing up because there were no changing tables available and, again, I didn't feel like waiting. I use alcohol-based hand sanitizer constantly and I carry alcohol wipes with us so I can wipe down tables before we eat. I am not a germaphobe by my standards, but maybe I am by someone else's. I will allow my 5 year old to ride in a stroller at WDW, and the only reason he has never worn a harness while at WDW is because 1)he had always been too big for them and 2)he walks so slow that keeping him in the stroller was just easier. I'm sure at some point, my kids have been mad at me and have cried at WDW. If that has happened, they successfully repressed the memory because I've never heard them mention it. Those are the only offenses I can remember right now. Oh wait, I let my son get sunburned on our first visit because I didn't use sunblock and I didn't realize his stroller shade wasn't enough to protect his face and arms.

 

[turkeymama]

My biggest pet peeve is watching parents go into this long schmeal when reprimanding kids. "What are you thinking? What is wrong with you? You need to start bla bla bla-ing.."
Give your kids clear, explicit direction. "stand by me, and dont touch anything." goes alot further than "That is very expensive, get away from that, you need to start respecting me..Do you KNOW what youre doing?
I just hate that. Be clear, concise, and head them off at the pass. Dont wait for something to happen and then go all into this long psychobabble stuff..your kid is NOT listening past the first sentence..

I agree. After a few minutes, everything starts to sound like the teacher from all those Charlie Brown shows.

 

[beachgirl2000]

Wow! I cannot believe this thread, really? We were just in Disney two months ago -- And, while I try to control my yelling (especially in public so I don't look like a maniac), it doesn't always work! It doesn't matter if I am at the happiest place or earth or not -- if my child doesn't listen the first time I tell him something and needs me to yell in order for him to behave properly, then that is what I do -- I am not there to "impress" or "act" the way someone else feels is appropriate behavior. I am there to have a great time and some times my child needs to be reminded that even though we are on vacation, he still needs to obey and listen.

As for the germaphobes -- I agree -- it works my last nerve. Most of the time, it's just overkill!

And while some kids needs naps in between sightseeing, it's not always convenient -- especially if you are only at the World for a few days. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and keep pushing forward -- Yeah, it can be a bit much but oh well! Deal with it and if the child is young enough, take a nap in the stroller!

 

[CyndiLooWho]

This thread is precisely why my boys were 8 and 10, and thoroughly experienced with a) one day amusement park trips and b) days long travel in general. One of our boys is mildly autistic and the other is a headstrong moose, and there was no reason to subject them or anyone else to what would probably have happened if the kids weren't ready for this type of trip.

Except for the dripping, nasty heat, we had a superb time and the boys were super well behaved - and they ENJOYED what we did. No yelling, no pushing them to try things (ok, we got each of them on one ride they weren't quite comfortable with, but they were able to handle it and it was done for all the right reasons), no asking for everything they saw or melting down b/c they weren't ready for the experiences.

A lot of people will say that we "robbed" them of a magical childhood experience by waiting so long, but dh and I completely agree that Disney with a clingy, out-of-sorts toddler who is off his schedule and a pig-headed tantrum thrower would completely ruin the magic for everyone. Instead, we took well-behaved, happy kids who had a blast and want to go back - and we actually want to take them back too!

Knowing your kids and their tolerance levels is absolutely key to enjoying a trip.

(and don't let my descriptions above fool you - they are great kids and I love them dearly, but even great kids can turn into little monsters when they are in new and stimulating circumstances. By knowing your family and waiting until the kids (AND parents) are ready for experiences just makes it so much better for everyone)

 

[PrincessMom4]

My child has SPD and she is now 10. I would rather have taken her when she was younger than now. Point is each person has to know what they chil(ren) can and can not handle. My oldest threw some food on the ground in the parking lot at DHS and I made her clean it up. This older couple looked at me like I should have left the food there or cleaned it up myself. Its her mess and if she takes a fit and throws it she cleans it up.

 

[A&E'sMom]

Well I'm sure some of you might be criticizing me in November. My kids will still be expected to follow rules - especially where safety is involved. They will show respect to their siblings, parents and anyone else that chooses to speak to them. They will eat food before treats. And if they don't, you might hear a raised voice, they might be forced to sit on a bench in timeout and in some instances you might see me smack their backside.

My pet peeve is children that are allowed to do whatever they want, whenever they want without any consquence.

Ditto for our family in September!

 

[luvsJack]

Wow, lotta yellers out there. My kids have always been expected to behave and have always behaved reasonably well in public and I don't yell. I just don't like the look on a child's face when they are being yelled at, it breaks my heart. If I am going to be stern with a child, I can't do it when they look like that. But, that's just me.

I don't know exactly what the OP means, but my first thought is of the poor little kid of about 5 or 6 that just wants to sit down on the curb and watch the parade and mom keeps yelling "WE CAN WATCH A PARADE ANYWERE, WE ARE GOING TO RIDE _______ (fill in ride of choice)" or the parent that throws in a few names while yelling at their child or says what they child wants to do is "just stupid" And then after being screamed at the child sits there looking like they would love to melt into the pavement and as though they would rather be anywhere else but "the happiest place on earth". That's not really the same thing as yelling when you are discipling a child.

 

[SnowandMittens]

I agree. After a few minutes, everything starts to sound like the teacher from all those Charlie Brown shows.

You guys don't even know... listening to my mom lecture me for 15 minutes is probably the worst punishment I can think of.

 

[cmusschoot]

Very interesting posts here.

I am a pretty strict parent, I think. I am slightly more relaxed on vacation (sort of...). And, yes, I have put my son in time out at the Magic Kingdom.

I believe in manners, respect, and being polite.

That being said, my pet peeve is when parents say, "If you don't ....we are going home." Really, are you going home...you spent a lot of money to be here...and I am sure your child knows that he/she is not really going home...

To any parents who have picked up and actually gone home...ROCK ON!!!!

 

[beachgirl2000]

Very interesting posts here.

I am a pretty strict parent, I think. I am slightly more relaxed on vacation (sort of...). And, yes, I have put my son in time out at the Magic Kingdom.

I believe in manners, respect, and being polite.

That being said, my pet peeve is when parents say, "If you don't ....we are going home." Really, are you going home...you spent a lot of money to be here...and I am sure your child knows that he/she is not really going home...

To any parents who have picked up and actually gone home...ROCK ON!!!!

Well, our last visit, we never threatened to go home but I showed him the Kid's Club and told him it was a daycare center and that if he didn't behave and stop whining, that was where he was going! And it seemed to work for the most part.

As for the other poster, I would NEVER demean my child or call him or something he wants to do stupid (that is just mean) but sometime a good healthy yell gets their attention and makes them think twice! I don't believe in smacking a child but I will talk to him first and if that doesn't work, then, yes, I will yell. And I can sometimes shoot him the "look" and that can also stop him dead in his tracks at times too!

 

[dvczerfs]

Well, our last visit, we never threatened to go home but I showed him the Kid's Club and told him it was a daycare center and that if he didn't behave and stop whining, that was where he was going! And it seemed to work for the most part.

As for the other poster, I would NEVER demean my child or call him or something he wants to do stupid (that is just mean) but sometime a good healthy yell gets their attention and makes them think twice! I don't believe in smacking a child but I will talk to him first and if that doesn't work, then, yes, I will yell. And I can sometimes shoot him the "look" and that can also stop him dead in his tracks at times too!

or you can make him watch an eagles playoff game. thats painful!!