Trans Atlantic Travel with Infant Advice ~ Update Post #42

[aprilgail2]

It wasn't just the screaming. The poor little girl couldn't get comfortable on her mother's lap, and she'd doze off for a few minutes, and then wake up howling and thrashing, kicking her mother and the person in the next seat. We started trading seats every so often so one of us could get away from the kicking for awhile. Mom and I offered to let her stretch out across our laps, that didn't work either because by that point, she was so exhausted and cranky and upset that all she wanted to do was cling to her mother and sob. There's just not enough room in an airline seat for a child that age to be comfortable on a lap for 7 hours.

We felt very sorry for the mom, but really, really wished she'd paid for a seat for her kid. By the end of the flight, I'm sure she did, too.

I personally don't think anyone should be allowed to fly unsecured and every baby/toddler/child should be in their own seat in a secured car seat. I can't imagine wanting to sit there for hours with the child on your lap. Why is it they put the seatbelt sign on and won't let adults stand, open overheads or be unsecured but they think its fine to have a baby (potential projectile) sitting on a lap with just someones arms around them.
I give you and your mom credit, I wouldn't have taken being kicked during a flight as well as you seem to have. I am a nervous flyer to begin with so any added stress to that is not a good thing!

 

[Lynne M]

I give you and your mom credit, I wouldn't have taken being kicked during a flight as well as you seem to have. I am a nervous flyer to begin with so any added stress to that is not a good thing!

We weren't happy, but there really wasn't anything to be done about it. The flight was full, so there wasn't anyplace else to put us. The flight attendants were desperately trying anything they could think of to help. It was hard to be angry at the mother, she had it worse than the rest of us.

She made a terrible mistake in not buying the extra seat, but she thought the baby would spend the whole flight sleeping in the bassinet. The kid wanted NO part of that bassinet. She tried to put her in a few times during the night, and as soon as her mother sat down, the baby would scream and cry and try to climb out.

I blame the airlines, really. There's no way a child over a year old should be allowed to fly on a lap. You buy a separate seat, with a car seat or other restraint.

 

[Janepod]

The problem with your plan is that you are hoping for the best - that the boy will fall asleep quietly on the floor without moving around, and that you and your fellow passengers will all be able to sleep on this overnight flight.

You need to look at it from the opposite side: prepare for the worst. What if the boy keeps trying to pull up and walk around? What if he has an ear infection and screams nonstop? What if the flight attendants insist you hold him? What if there's turbulence and he has to be in your lap (as he certainly will have to be for takeoff and landing)?

Do yourself, your child, and the other people on the plane the courtesy of putting your son in his own seat. It is the only safe, considerate option.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I totally Believe that every single passenger on a plane should be required to purchase a seat. Yes, it costs money, but that's when you include it in your budget. Flying isn't a right.

Another thing OP, I hope you are prepared to keep your child quiet on an overnight flight. And I hope you are prepared to do it while remaining relatively quiet yourself. There is nothing worse than being woken up in the middle of the night by an adult who doesn't understand volume control. I remember once a flight where a woman sang Old MacDonald to her baby quite loudly - over and over. To tune her out would have meant turning the iPod way up. That particular incident wasn't an overnight flight, thankfully. If it was, there would have been a whole lot of very pissed people.

 

[Magic Mom]

I I remember once a flight where a woman sang Old MacDonald to her baby quite loudly - over and over. To tune her out would have meant turning the iPod way up. That particular incident wasn't an overnight flight, thankfully. If it was, there would have been a whole lot of very pissed people.

That's so funny, because when DD was an infant, she would scream her head off in the car unless I was singing Old MacDonald over and over and over...

But it never happened in a plane, so it couldn't have been me.

 

[mnrose]

Sometimes I think common sense goes straight out the window when people fly. On a flight from Singapore to San Francisco (VERY long...over 15 hours long), there were two children seated behind me...maybe 6 and 8? They were NOT very old. We had a short leg from Singapore to Hong Kong and there was an elderly woman seated next to them (3-3-3 seating), who I assumed was a grandparent or some other companion for them. That woman deplaned in Hong Kong and for the next leg of the flight they were ALONE nearly the entire time. Near landing, another woman came by from FIRST CLASS and got them prepared for landing. Yup, mom and dad were in FIRST CLASS and left their two kids unattended in coach. Really. I couldn't believe the airline allowed them to do that. The kids were somewhat obnoxious with seat kicking, and that sort of thing, all of which I handled with good grace because I had assumed they were completely unaccompanied on the flight. It irritated me beyond belief that mom and dad thought it ok to dump their children on the rest of us. GRRRRR.

A little bit of courtesy and common sense goes a long way I think.

 

[Alesia]

OP, I think the bulk head seats are a mistake. unless your son is very small for his age, he's not going to fit comfortably in the bassinet. And, even if he does, you'll have to take him out every time there's turbulence, so he isn't likely to sleep well.

Also, there's no under seat storage in the bulkhead row, so all of your bags will have to go in the overhead compartment. Every time you need something from your bag (which is pretty often with a little one) you're going to need to get up, get your bag from the overhead, get what you need, then put your bag back. That's going to get old pretty quickly - not only for you, but for the other passengers (who are probably going to be trying to sleep.)

And, no, there is no way the flight attendants will let you put your son on the floor.

 

[wvjules]

Do you really think putting your sleeping toddler on the floor of a plane is a good idea or are you just pulling our legs?

 

[izzy]

I flew in a bulkhead seat a few months ago, and I thought it was really uncomfortable. The armrests are solid all the way down both sides of your lap, and they could not be moved up. I don't know if all bulkhead seats are this way, but it was kind of uncomfortable if you have some extra junk in the trunk. I also really missed being able to store things under the seat in front of you.

 

[crashbb]

I flew in a bulkhead seat a few months ago, and I thought it was really uncomfortable. The armrests are solid all the way down both sides of your lap, and they could not be moved up. I don't know if all bulkhead seats are this way, but it was kind of uncomfortable if you have some extra junk in the trunk. I also really missed being able to store things under the seat in front of you.

They almost always are. It is because the tray is in the armrest (since there is no seat in front of you on which to have th tray). This also makes the seats slightly narrower than the other seats (the armrests are a bit wider because of the trays). And it means that the child cannot be "spread" across two laps (since the armrest will stay in the way).

 

[DopeyDame]

In case you don't believe the random internet strangers telling you that a lap baby isn't a good idea, you should read the recommendations of the FAA, the NTSB, the AAP, and the pilot and flight attendant unions. They all strongly encourage ALL passengers to be appropriately restrained and advise against lap babies. It's for the safety of the child and for those around the kid.
And for a flight that long... wow... I can't even begin to imagine holding a squirming toddler all that time.
Your son will almost certainly be over the weight limit for the bassinets (they are intended for tiny babies, not toddlers), and as others have said, during takeoff, landing, and turbulance you will 100% not be allowed to lay your son on the floor (and I would hope you wouldn't want to!). I highly doubt you'll be allowed to do that any other time.

So the bassinette won't work, the floor won't work, which means you'll be holding him. In a cramped and confined space. When he's tired and cranky. For 6+ hours. Not a pretty picture.

Please buy a ticket. That's by far the single best thing you can do to ensure a safe and comfortable trip for you, your son, and your fellow passengers.

Other things to try: hanging out near the kitchen area if the FA's will let you (obviously not when they're trying to prepare meal or snack service), movies/ipad with headphones, those gel clingy things are fantastic and not messy, food, food, and more food.

Good luck!

 

[Bonnie151]

I would also implore you to buy another seat! We flew from Orlando to Glasgow when DD was a little older, but not much. She had NO interest in going to sleep. You know that last 20 minutes where you start the proper descent? THAT'S when she finally went to sleep! The rest of the time she was perfectly happy, but WIDE AWAKE. I was so glad we'd bought her her own seat as trying to hold her for the 9 odd hours would have been sheer torture.

 

[padams]

They almost always are. It is because the tray is in the armrest (since there is no seat in front of you on which to have th tray). This also makes the seats slightly narrower than the other seats (the armrests are a bit wider because of the trays). And it means that the child cannot be "spread" across two laps (since the armrest will stay in the way).

You need to switch your seats out of the bulkhead row. You won't be able to put up the armrests and you won't have access throughout the flight to your diaper bag. The seats in the back of the plane work best because the engine noise will act as white noise and hopefully help put him to sleep. Also, the engine noise will drown out some of his sounds.

Bring twice as much food, wipes and diapers as you think you will need. If your plane is diverted or delayed, you'll be thankful for the extra stuff. Bring enough toys and whatever else you need to keep your child occupied for the entire flight. Presume he (and you) will not sleep at all, and if he does sleep, be thrilled.

If you are still not convinced to buy him his own seat, then you and your dh need to have a trial run. Sit on a sofa next to your dh starting at 6:20pm. You can only use the width of the two of you for space on the sofa. I'll presume that you will have the good sense to get rid of the bulkhead seat and have access to your carry ons. Pack the diaper bag with all the food, clothes, diapers, toys, etc. that you plan to bring on the trip. Put the bag at your feet. Now hold the child on your lap on the sofa for the next 6 hours. Let's presume there is turbulence, as there often is over the Atlantic. You may not get up off the sofa for the 6 hours. And while sitting there, consider that at 15 months, he'll be walking and will want to spend all his waking hours practicing his new skill.

Please report back to all of us who spent moments of our lives trying to give you really good advice exactly how long you and dh and ds were able to survive the couch experiment.

 

[islandmum]

I am not intending on putting him on/in the bassinet but on the floor at my feet with the nap sack and the extra room we should be good to go right?

He's unrestrained on the floor so any time the seatbelt sign is on he has to be strapped to you if he has no seat - even if you do use the bassinet, he has to be taken out of that whenever the seatbelt sign goes on.

And putting him on the floor - I havent seen any airline staff who've allowed that before apart from on a very temporary basis if the kids are playing .... not a sleeping situation.

Buy another seat, if you're travelling with someone like BA they provide special toddlers seats that they can sleep in and be secure in so you can let sleeping toddlers be.

Having done transatlantic multiple times with babies through to their ages now I learnt VERY quickly to buy them their own seat, no matter how young they were!

 

[morethananyonex]

Even if people are unaware of the safety reasons for getting a lap baby their own seat, you'd think they would think about the convenience reasons. Safety aside, I couldn't imagine holding a baby older then a newborn who doesn't squirm on my lap for that long. Everyone would be miserable.

Get a seat and bring the car seat on the plane. Everyone will be happier and safer. You shouldn't be checking a car seat on an airplane anyways, chances are way too high that it would get damaged.

 

[CinderellaMouse]

This is just NOT a good idea, for all the reasons listed on the last 3 pages. Please, for your sake, the kid's sake, and all the other passengers' sake, buy the third seat. You most likely won't be allowed to leave him on the floor, and if there's turbulence, he'll be rolling all over. There's no way you should try to hold a 15-month-old on your lap all the way across the Atlantic.

If paying for a 3rd ticket is too much for your budget (and I realize paying an extra $700-1200 is a lot), then this is not a trip you can take until you've been able to save up that much more.

If this thread hasn't caused you to reconsider, I don't know what would. Three pages of every single person - many of whom have tried long-haul flights with babies or been on long-haul flights near other babies - saying this is a bad idea. And how often does every DISer in a thread agree on something???

 

[NHdisneylover]

Even if you do not get your toddler a seat (which I hope you do), I echo several others in trying to get seats near teh rear of the plane instead of bulkhead.

In addition to what others have said, as noted above the tray table is usually in the arm on bulkhead rows. That puts the table WAY to close to you for it to be open when your son is in your lap--making it impossible for you to use it to set food, toys, bottles, a DVD player, etc on or use it to eat.

Those are also prime seats, tall people love them!, meaning you will almost certainly NOT have any empty seats in your vicinity to make use of. The rear of the plane (precisely because it does have that engine noise, that will be a plus for you, and also because it takes longer to deplane) is the least popular area--increasing your odds that there will be an empty seat you can use for your son, or just to spread out in and also meaning there will be fewer people for your son to annoy.

I absolutely concur with everyone else that your toddler will not be allowed to sleep on the floor, will not fit in the bassinet (and cannot stay there for take off, landing or during turbulence) and that you cannot count on him sleeping at his regular times in such a different situation---that is one HUGE advantage of buying a seat and bring your car seat (assuming that your child rides in a car on a regular basis), then the seat feel familiar and comforting to the child.

 

[wvjules]

Has the OP been back?

 

[NHdisneylover]

I want to add, that if you do move out of bulkhead, the one thing that row really does for you is there is no one for you to worry about your child kicking the back of. The best thing to do is seat one person in your party directly in front of the seat your child will be in ( even on his own, and especially as a lap child). This will mean you have less stress and do not have to worry so much if he does kick since it will be someone with you who is being bothered by it.



to

Has the OP been back?

She hasn't posted, I hope that maybe she is reading though.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Has the OP been back?

Not since later yesterday afternoon. It's possible she just hasn't had a chance to catch up on the responses.... or it's possible she doesn't agree with/like them and won't ever be back. Which is regrettable, given that this IS the once a year that every response agrees with every other response (but disagrees with the original post, of course ).