Teresa,
Thank you for your kind words. I have parents who are 1 in 10 billion. At the time of my accident, they lived 4 hours away by car. I know that I would not have recovered as much without their love and support.
Sadly, 4-1/2 months after the accident, my DH of 16 years took his own life. I've accepted that the only answer I'll get to that, is that there really no answer to "why".
My parents have always been there for me, but after these
2 forever life alterating events, no words can describe how amazing they were.
My mom stayed with me for 10 weeks after DH passed. And for the next 2-1/2 years they drove down every 2-3 weeks and stayed 10 days each time.
They did everything they could to support and help me. Including meeting every person on my medical team, coming to appointments with me (to learn as much as they could), actively participating in my psychology rehab.
That was the most difficult for them as I had a fantastic Dr who specialized in treating TBI patients. He didn't tell my parents what they wanted to hear, he told them what they needed to hear. And he didn't shy away from telling me and/or them if our behavior wasn't in my best interest. Didn't sugarcoat things, every visit reiterating that I was making an amazing recovery for the extent of my injuries...but the "old" Carolyn was never coming back and we all had to accept it. I was still Carolyn, just Carolyn 2.0, as he phrased it.
They have tried their best, but I can see how much it hurts them to watch me struggle with what used to be simple tasks for me. I admire them so much for letting me struggle when it would be much quicker and easier for one of them to do it.
Sadly, my dad passed last May. I thank God that I'm recovered enough to be there for mom and help her. It was very sudden and after 60 years together, she was almost destroyed. I spent much time in Canada with her, and brought her to stay the winter in Florida with me.
I completely agree with the previous posts in going for counseling yourself. You're living this sad reality. A good therapist will help you in how to deal with Dom's parents, your own feelings of anger, frustration, helplessness, etc. I'm not pushing this, just speaking from very personal experience. You have to take care of yourself, that should be your priority. If you get sick, you'll be no help to anyone.
And, no matter what happens, therapy/counseling will help you. This has been such an emotional, exhausting, traumatic event for you. Just because you're not the one who was in that car doesn't mean it hasn't affected you tremendously.
Also, speaking from my experiences, many people fell out of my life because they didn't understand a brain injury. And, because it's an "invisible injury", many people don't believe it. And others just weren't willing to make any compromises to accommodate my new/current needs. I was, and still am, shocked at the number of people that just disappeared, most with no explanation.
I apologize for the long posts, I don't want nor am I going to hijack your thread and experience with this sad situation.
I wrote hoping to share my experiences in the hope of giving you some comfort and maybe explain something that hadn't either been brought up, or not explained properly. I sincerely hope I accomplished at least an iota's worth.
If you have any questions, anything, that you don't want to post publicly, please feel free to message me privately. I'm far from an expert, but I do have tons of up-close personal experience.
You and your husband have been amazing to/for Dom through all of this. Dom is lucky to have you. My sister, my only sibling, couldn't deal, and she removed herself from my life completely.
Huge, comforting hugs to you!
Carolyn