We leave Wednesday and I'm stressing about the cost!

[DebbieB]

When I took my then 12 year old niece 10 years ago, I planned a lot of character meals so that she could get the experiences, it would probably be her only trip. I got the dining plan, so it was already paid for. It was too much. I spent all that money on the dining plan and most places she ate mac & cheese and chicken fingers. I had to have the server at Garden Grill bring her the kids plate because she didn't like anything on the adult plate. If I had to do it again, I would have just done a couple and the rest quick service.

Have a frank talk with your friend about your expenses. She is still free to do what she wants with her 2 daughters.

 

[canadiandisneynut]

The biggest thing I have learned about travelling with friends is to have in advance a casual conversation about it being okay to divide and conquer. If her team wants to jet off to a meal while you guys grab a QS, thats cool, you can all meet up later! Like Sunnie RN said, let her know you don't want her to miss out if she wants to do more meals, you guys will catch a show or some rides while they do that. Being casual about space makes things easier on the trip

 

[Happyinwonerland]

The meals we have booked are CRT, Akershus, Chef Mickeys, Ohana breakfast, Crystal Palace, Gardent Grill, and Disney Jr. At Hollywood and Vine. So I guess it's just 7, not 8. I miscounted. We also have BOG lunch, BOMA dinner, and tREX dinner. We are planning to eat most breakfast in our rental house.

And of course she wants to snack around epcot. I think part of the problem lies in the fact that they are big eaters and we are not. If we were doing a la cart meals DD and I could share entrees and be fine. But all these buffets cost is killing me!

 

[Happyinwonerland]

The reason we are doing both Akershus and CRT is because we weren't able to get CRT and Bibbidi bobbidi boutique on the same day, but we wanted the kids to get to have a princess meal after their appointment. But CRT is on her must do list for the trip

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Someone asked the ages of her kids, they are 7 and 8.

 

[TwoMisfits]

The meals we have booked are CRT, Akershus, Chef Mickeys, Ohana breakfast, Crystal Palace, Gardent Grill, and Disney Jr. At Hollywood and Vine. So I guess it's just 7, not 8. I miscounted. We also have BOG lunch, BOMA dinner, and tREX dinner. We are planning to eat most breakfast in our rental house.

And of course she wants to snack around epcot. I think part of the problem lies in the fact that they are big eaters and we are not. If we were doing a la cart meals DD and I could share entrees and be fine. But all these buffets cost is killing me!

The good news is - you can probably split up for most of these, even as an offsiter, and not take away from her ability to go (since I see you only had 1 car). Not sure about penalties (CRT may have them, but it sounds like you want that one anyway), but except for Boma and TRex, every one of these meals is either in a park or on a monorail (so you could drop them off and head to the park, while they monorail over when done or you could go right to the park and have them monorail around)...

So, you would really take nothing away from your friend if you were only there for Boma and TRex...and then for any of the non-refundable meals...

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I don't mind to do some of the meals. Trex is a favorite and DD requested Chef Mickey's. I'very always wanted to try CRT, so I'm kind of excited about that. I guess that's why I haven't said no to anything she's wanted to do, because I know what's it like to be excited for the trip. I really hope that once she experiences a few meals she also decide on her own to cut back.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I don't mind to do some of the meals. Trex is a favorite and DD requested Chef Mickey's. I'very always wanted to try CRT, so I'm kind of excited about that. I guess that's why I haven't said no to anything she's wanted to do, because I know what's it like to be excited for the trip. I really hope that once she experiences a few meals she also decide on her own to cut back.

So it sounds like you have a plan - do TRex, Chef Mickey, CRT, (Boma if she won't get rid of it), and BOG Lunch (since it's CS at lunch, so you could just order 1 meal to split) and call it a day - ie, let her know that's all you have the funds for and you don't want to come home and not be able to have fun with her and her kids the rest of the summer...and that you will make sure she and her kids get to all of the meals they want and it's no inconvenience for you...

My friends know when I "feel poor" and they don't ever push me to spend what I don't have...and I'm sure your friend won't, either...

 

[Dis_couple269]

I would suggest cutting down on character dinners. Do they really need 8? I could see 2 maybe 3 but to me it seems like it wouldn't be special anymore around 6..

 

[KarenAylwood]

You've gotten some great advice already. I agree in being up front about it- at least make sure she knows that you're not totally on board with everything she wants to do in terms of cost. My mom went on a trip with a friend of hers that wasn't on her same wavelength in terms of traveling/sightseeing and she kept her mouth shut about a lot and just went along with the friend all the time and ended up regretting it. She didn't want to ruffle feathers but I think she'd have had a better time if they were more up front with each other from the start.

8 is a loooooot of characters, time and money. Like you said there are some you really want to go to and others you don't. If it were me I'd try to talk to the friend about it now rather than later. I'd probably get myself anxious over wondering how it'd all go and if I should duck out last minute or not. I would feel better and enjoy the trip more if I had details like that ironed out from the beginning. If you don't want to say anything to her, then suck it up now and prep yourself for doing all of these meals and spending all of the money (might help to add every penny up so you know what you're dealing with). I promise you'll enjoy it more that way.

Also, get your daughter a bunch of stuff at the dollar store and on amazon beforehand- my DS (almost 3) was over the moon for all the stuff I got him ahead of time.

 

[writermommy6]

You've gotten great advice from others. Did I read right that you will be doing Bibbity Bobbity Boutique then heading to Epcot for Akershus so that the girls can see the princesses in their princess hair, etc? Kinda speechless on that one. But then that's me.
As for her buying her kids lots of stuff and worrying about your daughter feeling bad, I'm the odd person out I guess. This is the perfect time to demonstrate to your daughter that we don't always get stuff just because our friends do. Sounds rough to some people, but I have four kids and once they learned this lesson they began to appreciate and be much more picky with the items they WERE allowed to get.

 

[Aliceacc]

ON the spending front, set a budget and put her money on a Disney gift card. Keep track of her spending, and when she's out, she's out.

Kids find that there are many fewer things they "need" when the money they're spending is seen as their own.

 

[Dashzap]

Talk before you go. Otherwise you'll be stressed.

Perhaps you could work in the age difference as an additional explanation why you want to take it down a notch. Your 4 year old DD will try to keep up with the 8 year old. And Disney trips, while absolutely wonderful, can also be pretty tiring on the kiddos. Let your friend do the character meals while you and DD get a bit more downtime.

 

[brittanidp]

Will the kids even like the food at Akerhaus!? I feel like that could be a waste and an easy one to cut out.

 

[MomToOne]

Since these all require ADRs, leaving your friend as a party of 3, instead of a party of 5 as I assume the ADRs were made for, could cause problems for them if you ditch and they still want to go.

I'm in the camp that the time to discuss this was earlier in the planning, when ADRs were being made. Not a few days before you leave. You committed previously, so I think you should stick with that. But maybe after you eat at one or two (or three or four), your friend will see the food quality and time drain are not worth the expense. Let her know you are open to cancelling some of the ADRs, then leave it to her to decide.

As far as souvenirs go, I just always told DD when she was little that every parent was different in what rules they had and what things they allowed. I would just trot out that line if it became an issue. DD was actually pretty accepting of that explanation when she was little, and she wasn't an easy going kid! Have a few small DollarTree trinkets available to give her now and then if you feel the need but I still wouldn't do it every time your friend bought her kids something. (If you can't handle it now, heaven help you when they are 16 and come home EVERY.SINGLE.DAY spouting "but all my friends have cars, why won't you get me one - whhhhiiiinnnnnnneeeee. (stomp off in a huff.)" )

 

[kreckl]

Wow- I was going to suggest adding the meal plan but see you are offsite
I think before you change anything you really owe it to her to see what reservations will not be affected should you go from 5 to 3 people. Is there a reason why you didn't talk to her about this before? Does it still apply?

 

[lorijohnhill]

If you and your daughter do other things while she and her daughters are shopping, that may help alleviate some of the possible "jealousy". Your friend may very well pick up on the impact of the shopping on your daughter and try to be more careful about it. My daughter and I went to Disneyland with a close friend and her daughter. (the girls are a month apart in age) They go every year and are not big souvenir people. I'm one of those that has trouble saying "no" in Disney, so spend more. (I have got to stay out of those shops!) I gave each of the girls a gift card when we got there so that they could purchase something they wanted. I tried to be careful around my friend's daughter because I didn't want her to be hurt. We had one little problem when I purchased a nightgown for my daughter to wear under a costume that was itchy. But, other than that things went pretty well.

 

[mousestruck]

You have received a lot of great advice. In my opinion.... be open and honest with your friend. Sure, it would have been better to have had the conversation earlier, but it's okay to have a change of heart. You can tell her that you need to tighten your budget and/or that you're concerned about so many sit-down meals for your younger daughter. Don't feel guilty. Your friend can keep all of the reservations for her family if she wishes, and that gives you both some special time to enjoy with your own girls. It is a good thing to have some private time on an 11 day trip!

As far as the souvenirs, I think it's a great idea to give your daughter a gift card with a set amount Then she can decide what she wants the most and make her own choices. When my kids were little, I always brought glow-in-the-dark toys and Disney-themed gifts from home. I would even bring some of the WDW souvenirs from previous trips to enjoy again!

Much better to be honest now than to be stressed during your vacation - and after when you get the credit card bill. Hope you have a magical trip!!!

 

[WDWNY]

You mentioned this is her first trip. If you don't want to bring the money up, just tell her from your experience you know that character meals take a lot of time. Even if you guys eat fast sometimes all the characters don't come around and you end up sitting and waiting. Also you can say there is so much to do in Disney since its so big and the long lines it will be almost impossible to do everything without rushing because of how much time they are taking up.
Maybe even suggest a regular table service meal in replacement of some character meals (especially ones that offer AP discounts) It's not a huge discount but the meals are usually about half the price of a character meal.

 

[kristenrice]

The meals we have booked are CRT, Akershus, Chef Mickeys, Ohana breakfast, Crystal Palace, Gardent Grill, and Disney Jr. At Hollywood and Vine. So I guess it's just 7, not 8. I miscounted. We also have BOG lunch, BOMA dinner, and tREX dinner. We are planning to eat most breakfast in our rental house.

And of course she wants to snack around epcot. I think part of the problem lies in the fact that they are big eaters and we are not. If we were doing a la cart meals DD and I could share entrees and be fine. But all these buffets cost is killing me!

Since you have an AP, get the Tables in Wonderland card. It costs $150, but you will save 20% off all of the meals that you have planned, except BOG lunch.