AllThingsMickey4
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2014
So this is more of a rant/vent about something that's been bothering me for a couple of months more than a question..
We (mostly just me) are planning a Wishes wedding for late April 2018. My fiance is under the impression that since my parents are paying for the wedding most of the decision making should be up to me (I literally have no idea where he got this from). Anyway, I'm used to planning things without much input from him so that doesn't really bother me. What DOES bother me is my mom's lack of involvement in the planning process. Seriously, I will show her pictures of flowers, decor, my venue, etc. and she will just say "it's up to you" or "pretty." She really has no idea where my reception or dessert party is even located, even though I've tried to tell her multiple times. I've asked her opinion on the reception and dessert party menu and all she says is "I wonder how much that's going to cost" in snarky way. Any time I bring the wedding up just to get an opinion she will bring out her calculator and start adding up everything AGAIN or she will say "We need to get a total cost before we plan anything else" I've tried explaining that after my planning session (October 30th) we will get a BEO with all the pricing info, but it's like she turns her ears off before I even start explaining it to her.. she will physically turn away from me as I'm trying to tell her about it.
It's not that she doesn't have time to be a part of the planning.. she just spent a month helping my sister look for and buy her first house. Any time my sister brings up her house they talk about it for an hour or more.
I think this all started when my fiance and I created the guest list (we invited 65 people hoping for 55 as an absolute MAX) and didn't have room to invite any of my mom's friends. We invited all of my family members and their kids, and since my fiance doesn't have ANY family alive other than his parents and brother, he invited some of their long time family friends. I tried explaining to my mom that we didn't have room for her friends because we had to invite so many of our extended family members, but she just responds with the fact that my fiance's mom got to invite her friends. Plus, they aren't even her friends really.. she hasn't seen any of them in more than a year.
So yeah, now she will hardly talk about the wedding without mentioning the fact that she didn't get to invite anyone she wanted to invite. Whenever my dad tells someone that I'm getting married at Disney, she has to throw out the fact that she didn't get to invite her friends (even to complete strangers). Recently, a woman told her that it was more about who me and my fiance wanted to invite and she defended herself by saying "Well I'm paying for it"
Anyway, should I feel guilty that my mom didn't get to invite any of her "friends?" I mean, my fiance and I only invited 10 of our closest friends, the rest are all family members or close family friends of his parents (since they don't have any living family). I guess the constant comments are starting to irritate me... yes my parents are paying for it but I don't think that gives her the right to control the guest list.. or am I wrong?
On top of this drama, my parents are spending 5 days in Disney after my wedding and my fiance and I are honeymooning in Disney. My mom wants ME to book their dining and FP reservations (even though she has been to Disney over 20 times) even though I have to make my own reservations. Oh and she is mad that we don't want to be apart of their plans while on our Honeymoon
Okay...rant over for now!! Wedding planning is so stressful!!!
We (mostly just me) are planning a Wishes wedding for late April 2018. My fiance is under the impression that since my parents are paying for the wedding most of the decision making should be up to me (I literally have no idea where he got this from). Anyway, I'm used to planning things without much input from him so that doesn't really bother me. What DOES bother me is my mom's lack of involvement in the planning process. Seriously, I will show her pictures of flowers, decor, my venue, etc. and she will just say "it's up to you" or "pretty." She really has no idea where my reception or dessert party is even located, even though I've tried to tell her multiple times. I've asked her opinion on the reception and dessert party menu and all she says is "I wonder how much that's going to cost" in snarky way. Any time I bring the wedding up just to get an opinion she will bring out her calculator and start adding up everything AGAIN or she will say "We need to get a total cost before we plan anything else" I've tried explaining that after my planning session (October 30th) we will get a BEO with all the pricing info, but it's like she turns her ears off before I even start explaining it to her.. she will physically turn away from me as I'm trying to tell her about it.
It's not that she doesn't have time to be a part of the planning.. she just spent a month helping my sister look for and buy her first house. Any time my sister brings up her house they talk about it for an hour or more.
I think this all started when my fiance and I created the guest list (we invited 65 people hoping for 55 as an absolute MAX) and didn't have room to invite any of my mom's friends. We invited all of my family members and their kids, and since my fiance doesn't have ANY family alive other than his parents and brother, he invited some of their long time family friends. I tried explaining to my mom that we didn't have room for her friends because we had to invite so many of our extended family members, but she just responds with the fact that my fiance's mom got to invite her friends. Plus, they aren't even her friends really.. she hasn't seen any of them in more than a year.
So yeah, now she will hardly talk about the wedding without mentioning the fact that she didn't get to invite anyone she wanted to invite. Whenever my dad tells someone that I'm getting married at Disney, she has to throw out the fact that she didn't get to invite her friends (even to complete strangers). Recently, a woman told her that it was more about who me and my fiance wanted to invite and she defended herself by saying "Well I'm paying for it"
Anyway, should I feel guilty that my mom didn't get to invite any of her "friends?" I mean, my fiance and I only invited 10 of our closest friends, the rest are all family members or close family friends of his parents (since they don't have any living family). I guess the constant comments are starting to irritate me... yes my parents are paying for it but I don't think that gives her the right to control the guest list.. or am I wrong?
On top of this drama, my parents are spending 5 days in Disney after my wedding and my fiance and I are honeymooning in Disney. My mom wants ME to book their dining and FP reservations (even though she has been to Disney over 20 times) even though I have to make my own reservations. Oh and she is mad that we don't want to be apart of their plans while on our Honeymoon
Okay...rant over for now!! Wedding planning is so stressful!!!