Wedding gift - gift receipt

[marybet]

I recently went to a family wedding out of state. I got the bride a gift from her registry but not at the store where she was registered. I called the Mother of the Bride (MOB) and told her and she said she would take the gift off the registry.

So we drive 800 miles, take the gift, go to the wedding and have a nice time.

A few days later we are having a family dinner and the MOB says they got a duplicate of my gift and do I have a gift receipt. Now I wish I would have said "Don't you think if I had a gift receipt that I would have included it with the gift? or Take the other one back." But I just said I didn't have a gift receipt, I got it at a discount store and there is not a branch in this area. I said that is why we called and told you we got the gift, it was the exact one that was on her registry. MOB then says oh well maybe she can just take it back to Macy's, I say maybe she can.

I think it was rude of MOB to even ask for a gift receipt, if she got two then take the other one back. It's almost two weeks later and it still bothers me. I think once you give a gift you shouldn't be asked about returning it.

So was the MOB rude or I am over reacting?

 

[mrsklamc]

I would never dream of asking for a gift receipt, I assume if the giver had one and wanted me to have it they would give it with the gift.

OTOH, I wouldn't let it bother me two weeks later.

 

[marius97]

So was the MOB rude or I am over reacting?

Yes...When a gift is given to me, for whatever reason, it is my responsibility to deal with it. If a receipt wasn't given, then there may be other options to return it, even if it is for less than what a receipt would get me. One shouldn't be advertising the fact that they are taking your gift back.

That being said, it doesn't sound like she is saying "I don't want the piece of junk that you got me." She got two and just wants to get full value for the gift. Maybe the other gift didn't have a reciept either and she is putting out feelers to both gift givers to see if one has a receipt.

I would just shrug and say "sorry, don't have one."

 

[wiigirl]

I would be irritated also...but honestly I would just let it go.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Isn't the point of gift registries so that the B&G don't get duplicate gifts? By going off of the registry, the other gift could have been purchased as soon as the day after you bought your gift. (Or, it could have been bought the same day).

 

[marius97]

So was the MOB rude or I am over reacting?

Yes...When a gift is given to me, for whatever reason, it is my responsibility to deal with it. If a receipt wasn't given, then there may be other options to return it, even if it is for less than what a receipt would get me. One shouldn't be advertising the fact that they are taking your gift back.

That being said, it doesn't sound like she is saying "I don't want the piece of junk that you got me." She got two and just wants to get full value for the gift. Maybe the other gift didn't have a reciept either and she is putting out feelers to both gift givers to see if one has a receipt.

I would just shrug and say "sorry, don't have one."

 

[FireDancer]

Man, people here offend easily. I got one of my friend's son a gift for his birthday and someone else had gotten him the same thing. I didn't include the gift receipt but had it at home if they needed it. Had I not been there to see the gift opened I'm sure they would have called to ask if I had it. It never occurred to me that anyone on this planet or any other would consider that rude of her to do.

This place is just so odd.

 

[sue1013]

I think you are overreacting. According to what you posted all she did was ask if you had a gift receipt since they got 2 of the same item. Did she continue to bug you asking for a receipt? If she did I could see that would be annoying but if not I don't see a reason for you to be upset. And you are family maybe she thought it would be easier to ask you than the other person that gave the gift.

 

[marybet]

Isn't the point of gift registries so that the B&G don't get duplicate gifts? By going off of the registry, the other gift could have been purchased as soon as the day after you bought your gift. (Or, it could have been bought the same day).

After I called they did remove the gift from the registry. MOB said it got put back on the registry but she did not say where the duplicate gift was bought.

 

[anniemae]

She was probably trying to make things easier for her dd. I wouldn't be bothered, you told her you didn't have it, and it is her responsibility to deal with it.

I am sure they can get store credit for the gift. I don't know if they still do it, but some places would take back registry gifts, regardless of where they were bought, without a receipt and give you store credit if you were registered with them.

 

[goofyintoronto]

+2!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, people here offend easily. I got one of my friend's son a gift for his birthday and someone else had gotten him the same thing. I didn't include the gift receipt but had it at home if they needed it. Had I not been there to see the gift opened I'm sure they would have called to ask if I had it. It never occurred to me that anyone on this planet or any other would consider that rude of her to do.

This place is just so odd.

Yes, exactly the whole point of the registry.

Isn't the point of gift registries so that the B&G don't get duplicate gifts? By going off of the registry, the other gift could have been purchased as soon as the day after you bought your gift. (Or, it could have been bought the same day).

From my understanding with registries, if you buy something from another store, there is a high chance that the gift will be duplicated because you didnt buy it from the store they registered from. Calling the mom of the bride and telling her to take the gift off the registry is useless IMO. If she forgot to tell the bride to take it off the list, or didnt think it was important enough to do anything about, of course there will be duplicates!

To remove the gift from the registry, if you cannot do it online, you'd have to go to the store in person. which is a bit of pain if you ask me.

Frankly, I dont see the big deal to ask someone for the receipt. To get offended for such a thing is just silly. You assumed youre safe just because you informed the MOB, I would have kept the gift receipt in this case.

 

[kwelch10377]

Totally over-reacting.

The bride got 2 of one thing, the MOB was trying to figure out a solution to get one returned and was checking to see if you had the gift receipt. Maybe she thought you forgot to include it or maybe she thought that you didn't think you needed to include it since you had talked to her. I don't see the big deal at all with double checking with you. She may not really know the other person to ask them for the gift receipt for their gift.

It really isn't a big deal and I don't think it is at all rude.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Yeah you're over-reacting. They got a duplicate in part because you went off of the registry and relied on somebody else to correct the registry for you. Something happened and they got a duplicate. Instead of your gift going to waste they want to return it to get something else. What's the big deal about that?

 

[goofyintoronto]

Yeah you're over-reacting. They got a duplicate in part because you went off of the registry and relied on somebody else to correct the registry for you. Something happened and they got a duplicate. Instead of your gift going to waste they want to return it to get something else. What's the big deal about that?

Exactly. If I had two duplicate gifts, i'd ask the person who went off the registry for the receipt! Which is what they did.

 

[marybet]

Well if the gift she got was from the registry then why not just take it back?

No guest is under any obligation to buy a gift where the bride registers.

If she got two then put one in her gift closet and regift it. Just give it away, I don't really care, I just don't want to know about it.

My obligation was to give her a gift, her obligation is to write a thank you note.

 

[crashbb]

I'm joining the "you are over reacting crowd". Unless she hounded you about the receipt, I really don't see the big deal in simply asking if you have one.

 

[surfgirl]

Well if the gift she got was from the registry then why not just take it back?

No guest is under any obligation to buy a gift where the bride registers.

If she got two then put one in her gift closet and regift it. Just give it away, I don't really care, I just don't want to know about it.

My obligation was to give her a gift, her obligation is to write a thank you note.

Why not just buy something else?

Honestly, buying something "from the registry" implies it came from that store. Just odd that you aren't surprised if there are duplicates.

You are overreacting.

 

[Wendy31]

I'm another one that doesn't quite understand your upset... especially 2 weeks later.

If I purchase a gift for someone, I want him/her/them to be happy w/ what I gave. And I normally don't give out of "obligation" (most of the time!); I give because I want to & genuinely want the person to be pleased/happy w/ whatever I've given. (Although, I do understand the obligation gift.)

So I would hate to think that they couldn't use the gift I gave for some reason & that my gift was just sitting in the closet waiting to be regifted. I'd rather they return the gift & get something they can actually use instead of having 2 of the same thing.

Obviously, the bride & groom can't use two of whatever it was, so why would they not try to return one?

Like others have said, it's not like they're trying to return your gift because they didn't like it. They got 2 of the same gift.

If I were they, I'd probably first try to return the other duplicate to the place where we'd registered, but, whatever, you know? And, while I would not ask for a gift receipt from anyone, I'm not offended by anyone who asks me for one.

For whatever reason, they wanted to know if you have the receipt for the gift you purchased.

It's really not anything to get offended by. You knew when you purchased the gift there was a chance they could receive a duplicate.

In your place, I would have just said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't keep the receipt. Have they tried returning the other one?"

And then moved on.

 

[arminnie]

I don't think you are over-reacting at all.

I'm sorry that so many people today are SO self centered and obnoxious that all they can think about is "HOW CAN I MAXIMIZE MY LOOT".

The purpose of gift registries was never to prevent duplicates. Quite frankly none of the registries are administered well enough to do that even if everyone buys at the same store.

Gift registries are to give people an idea of what you might want. Like what is your china, silver, crystal pattern. It is not an ultimatum - YOU MUST BUY ME X.

No one is required to give any gift. No one is required to give from the registry. No one is required to only buy from specific stores.

If people receive duplicate items - IT IS THEIR PROBLEM TO DEAL WITH IT.

It is unbelievably rude to call someone and tell them that you want to return their gift - for any reason.

The only time it is appropriate to return a gift is if the wedding is called off and then the gift is returned to the sender - not to the store for a credit.

OP - I do think though that you should let it go. These people have no "couth" and are obnoxious. Just remember that the next time they try a gift grab.

 

[surfgirl]

I don't think you are over-reacting at all.

I'm sorry that so many people today are SO self centered and obnoxious that all they can think about is "HOW CAN I MAXIMIZE MY LOOT".

The purpose of gift registries was never to prevent duplicates. Quite frankly none of the registries are administered well enough to do that even if everyone buys at the same store.

Gift registries are to give people an idea of what you might want. Like what is your china, silver, crystal pattern. It is not an ultimatum - YOU MUST BUY ME X.

No one is required to give any gift. No one is required to give from the registry. No one is required to only buy from specific stores.

If people receive duplicate items - IT IS THEIR PROBLEM TO DEAL WITH IT.

It is unbelievably rude to call someone and tell them that you want to return their gift - for any reason.

The only time it is appropriate to return a gift is if the wedding is called off and then the gift is returned to the sender - not to the store for a credit.

OP - I do think though that you should let it go. These people have no "couth" and are obnoxious. Just remember that the next time they try a gift grab.

Since when is a wedding a "gift grab" ?

If registries were only designed to let people know what type of gifts (pattern, etc.), then why ... if you purchase something from it .... do you remove that item?

ummmm.... so it isn't duplicated perhaps?

Who said anything about "maximizing loot"? They got a duplicate... maybe they don't need 2 coffeemakers... or two gravy ladles... or whatever. Errors happen.


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Does anyone else wonder if the OP got a "deal" on her gift and doesn't want to give the receipt to the B/G because they will see how little she spent on the item?

Like a BOGO and she kept the original.... or last year's model so it was cheaper... or something?

Maybe that's the reason for the faux outrage...