MrsDuck
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2011
I think this is a good option.Just have him propose earlier in the day and do the fireworks cruise as a celebration, not the proposal venue.
I think this is a good option.Just have him propose earlier in the day and do the fireworks cruise as a celebration, not the proposal venue.
Lol that was my thought, I think there are certain expectations the night of your proposal.Only read the first page. My main question are the 3 of you sharing a hotel room? If so that puts the rest of the evening on a dull note.
Sorry but to me, the SON (a grown man) wanting his MOTHER to be present for such an intimate event is what screams enmeshment especially when no one else will be present. Sorry, but that is bizarre. And I don’t have MIL problems even is she wanted to overstep her boundaries b/c my DH doesn’t allow it if it’s inappropriate. I don’t even have to get involved.It never ceases to amaze me how left the DIS can take things.
WOW how do you make that leap. OP booked fw cruise, son says cool I'll propose then. She doesn't want to be there & is gonna talk to him. How is she so emeshed that GF needs to run? OP did not set up proposal, exactly opposite.
You don't know the relationship she has with GF. So to make that leap is kinda ridiculous.
Because you may have MIL problems does not mean the OP asking for advice on how to make her son realize this makes her uncomfortable is emeshing herself in their marriage. The fact she can actually talk to him about this says to me the have an open line of communication. Heck she can't talk to GF to express her feelings without ruining this surprise.
Nobody's going to even ask what was meant by "I don't believe in love or marriages"? That's what piques my interest.
I'm curious how supportive OP is about the overall idea of this relationship in the first place? If the concept of love and marriage are important to your son and his prospective bride will you be respectful of their choices?
I guess I need to give a little more info:
I don't know how to explain the I don't believe in love or marriage without getting attacked. I didn't date until I was 17 and then with only one guy who I did marry but he left me for someone else. Never loved this guy but since I didn't have any other choices....Anyway been by myself for over 25 years. So that is why I have a big distaste for love or marriage. It does not roll over onto my son.
My mother just passed away in April after a long time with dementia. I live with my parents and had helped my dad take care of her. I wanted to do the fireworks cruise so that I could remember my mother. When my son was young we would go to Maine every 4th of July with my parents and see fireworks over the beach. So the fireworks cruise had a personal meaning to me with regard to healing.
As I said, I live in my parents home. Currently it is my dad, me, son and his girlfriend who just moved in March because her parents were being evicted. I pay the bills at this house. they are living rent free. I do not make a lot of money. In fact I would be classified as lower lower middle class. Son and girlfriend are trying to save money to buy a house. If my son chose to pay for the fireworks cruise then i wouldn't go but I would not give them a fireworks cruise as an engagement present.
I DO NOT want to be in their lives. My wish is that they would move out now.
I do not know what we will do. Right now I want to cancel the entire trip (and probably will). I didn't really even want to go back to disney anymore but I have some tickets left over and wanted to use them up. Disney used to have such good memories for me since my son and I would go there every year but all the changes that Disney has made has made it such a pain in the neck and stressful.
You married someone you didn’t love? I dated several guys, but DH is the only one I ever loved. From your post, it seemed like you felt you had to marry him.I didn't marry son's father because I was pregnant. I dated the guy for five years before marrying him and then got pregnant.
I am paying for the entire trip. We are renting a condo so different rooms. My son knows exactly how I feel about marriage and love and it does not impact him at all.
I want to make a few things clear. First I do not want to be present when my son proposed. I have told him so. He insisted. After I told him about booking the cruise, he said he was going to propose then. It was his idea to propose on the cruise. Marriage proposal v. wedding proposal to me is the same thing. I do not even believe in love or marriages. I really didn't think people would pick apart my words.
I am single and I always vacation with my son (with plenty of trips to disney) and now that he has a girlfriend, she has been coming with us on trips. Her parents don't vacation.
I will be talking to my son and telling him everything that was posted. I am hoping that he decides to do the proposal elsewhere. Thank you everyone for giving me your insight.
I think proposing in the middle of Bay Lake is a good thing. If she says no, she has nowhere to run, or if she does try to make a swim for it, she will likely be eaten by gators :>....
Being that we are obviously Disney fans, I think we have a tendency to want that happily ever after moment, especially when it comes to something like a proposal. My advice for all, son, mother, and commentators alike, is just do what you think is right in this situation. I say if Mom is asking for advice, then mom is probably not confident that being on the boat is appropriate. I say if the son is saying I want some privacy, then he should be man enough to tell his mom and pay for the boat trip himself.
There will be plenty of time for happiness and disappointment after the marriage.
Lol mine didn’t even involve words, just the ring. Almost 25 years later he has still yet to propose!All I can say is the more I read about other people's proposals the lazier my husband's proposal sounds (and it was lazy) so many years later. But thank god his parents weren't there. That's all I got.
It never ceases to amaze me how left the DIS can take things.