What is the oldest person you would date?

[kimblebee]

I’m 43 and I couldn’t date someone who was 50 or older. 50 is oooolllllld lol

 

[PollyannaMom]

I've been married for 22 years, so I have no idea!

(And we're only 3 months apart, so I never really thought about it then, either. )

I do like what someone said upthread about not being closer to your parents' age than yours.

 

[fly girl]

Well if you read the younger thread you know I just discovered I have never dated anyone younger than I am. (honestly I never thought about it)

The oldest I have dated is my husband at 8 years. And I have hung out with his friends that were 10 years older than me, and I didn't feel awkward. I think that would be my limit though. 10 years. I have to date a Gen X'er. My parents are Baby Boomers and that is just too weird to date closer to their age. EWWWWW. No, not for me.

 

[EMom]

I could probably go 10-15 years older or 10 years younger, depending on the person. I never thought I’d marry someone my age, because I was mostly attracted to older men. But I did.

 

[AnnieBearJamboree]

I’ve always said I wouldn’t mind dating someone older than me, but all of my boyfriends have been within a year or so of my age! My most recent ex (by FAR my most serious relationship) was six months younger than I am.

I’m 25 and I guess I would say early 30’s.

 

[Southernmiss]

I'm now 50. So is dh. I don't know if I could date again.

People start to age and not take care of themselves and have baggage and habits that I don't want to deal with. No thanks!

Blech!

My grandmother was widowed at 58 lived to be 97. Said she had one man and he was enough! I agree more with her everyday.

 

[ronandannette]

I’m 43 and I couldn’t date someone who was 50 or older. 50 is oooolllllld lol

Guilty as charged. I'm in my (very) early 50's and my DH is 65. If I were to be widowed, I'd never again choose someone older than I am, especially at this stage of life. But then, it's a moot point because if I am ever on my own, I plan to stay single.

 

[tzolkin]

I always had a rule that they couldn’t be closer in age to my dad than they were to me. My dad is 17 years older than me so 8 1/2 years older was my limit.

Our oldest did date someone for about a year who was slightly closer to our age than to hers, but he definitely looked older than my husband. It was kind of fun to go out with them because people assumed we were just friends instead of parents taking their kids out.

That said, since she was a teenager people have always assumed that my husband was her boyfriend because he looks younger and she looks a bit older so she's not really bothered by an age gap. They work at the same hospital and none of her coworkers ever believe that he is her father because they think there's a maximum of 5 years age difference (they think he's in his late 20s).

I'm now 50. So is dh. I don't know if I could date again.

People start to age and not take care of themselves and have baggage and habits that I don't want to deal with. No thanks!

Blech!

My grandmother was widowed at 58 lived to be 97. Said she had one man and he was enough! I agree more with her everyday.

We have discussed this quite a bit with our friends. Some would absolutely look for another partner and some insist that their spouse get remarried as quickly as possible if they were to die. I just don't think that I could/should.

I have a few friends who are single or widows and looking for someone/dating just does not seem appealing to me at all. I will also totally admit to a bit of idolatry of my husband. I have never met another man like him and I really don't think it would be fair for me to be in a relationship with someone else and be constantly comparing them to him.

 

[Hikergirl]

55

 

[Southernmiss]

Our oldest did date someone for about a year who was slightly closer to our age than to hers, but he definitely looked older than my husband. It was kind of fun to go out with them because people assumed we were just friends instead of parents taking their kids out.

That said, since she was a teenager people have always assumed that my husband was her boyfriend because he looks younger and she looks a bit older so she's not really bothered by an age gap. They work at the same hospital and none of her coworkers ever believe that he is her father because they think there's a maximum of 5 years age difference (they think he's in his late 20s).



We have discussed this quite a bit with our friends. Some would absolutely look for another partner and some insist that their spouse get remarried as quickly as possible if they were to die. I just don't think that I could/should.

I have a few friends who are single or widows and looking for someone/dating just does not seem appealing to me at all. I will also totally admit to a bit of idolatry of my husband. I have never met another man like him and I really don't think it would be fair for me to be in a relationship with someone else and be constantly comparing them to him.

That's it exactly.

Dh and I have been together 33 years. I am used to his quirks, and as he gets older a few more have crept in, lol.

He's a great guy otherwise and anyone else would have high standards to beat.

 

[DisneyHardin]

The two people I dated seriously before I met my DH were both 7 years older than me (although my DH is the same age as me). Now that I'm in my 40's, if I were dating, I wouldn't hesitate to probably date 10-15 years older than me.

 

[ronandannette]

...We have discussed this quite a bit with our friends. Some would absolutely look for another partner and some insist that their spouse get remarried as quickly as possible if they were to die. I just don't think that I could/should.

I have a few friends who are single or widows and looking for someone/dating just does not seem appealing to me at all. I will also totally admit to a bit of idolatry of my husband. I have never met another man like him and I really don't think it would be fair for me to be in a relationship with someone else and be constantly comparing them to him.

I hope you never have to deal with it but if you do, you just might surprise yourself. A good friend of ours was widowed last December. She and her husband had a wonderful 25 year marriage. He was an awesome guy and as a couple they were among the happiest we’d ever known. We have all been very concerned about how she would deal with her grief; it was a very abrupt loss.

Turns out she’s dealing with it by remarrying! She announced her engagement last month and the wedding is in 3 weeks - not even a year since her husband died. I think it’s not uncommon for people who have been happily married to want that again.

 

[morgan98]

I hope you never have to deal with it but if you do, you just might surprise yourself. A good friend of ours was widowed last December. She and her husband had a wonderful 25 year marriage. He was an awesome guy and as a couple they were among the happiest we’d ever known. We have all been very concerned about how she would deal with her grief; it was a very abrupt loss.

Turns out she’s dealing with it by remarrying! She announced her engagement last month and the wedding is in 3 weeks - not even a year since her husband died. I think it’s not uncommon for people who have been happily married to want that again.

I agree about surprising yourself. Since people are so different, so are relationships. I can totally see how even if you were totally happy in one relationship, you could move on and be totally happy in another. (I don't mean that to sound flippant. I am saying that after you mourn and start to put yourself out there again and if you are lucky enough to find someone you click with and it just happens.)

I think comparing things is tricky - of course it is not going to be the same. But that doesn't have to mean it will be worse or not as good.

 

[Neesy228]

I’m 45, and I think I could go up to 55...maybe.

At some point, you lose the ability to connect on common “time in history” type memories - like popular music at a certain time of your life or pop culture references etc - that add some fun dimension and relatability to a relationship. I’m not sure where the dividing line is on that age-wise....maybe 5-7 years?

 

[tvguy]

The oldest person I ever dated was 8 days older than me. The youngest was 4 months younger. I married her.

 

[mousefan73]

My DH is 12 years older than me. wasnt really an issue when we met. I was 30 and he was 42.. I am slowly seeing some differences now as he gets older. He thinks half the shows i watch in netflex are stupid and my online social stuff he hates.. He is slowly turning into a grumpy old man... oh well. he will be 60 in a few years. I think a large age gap does make a difference later on IMO. what has kept him young is having kids later in life. Our kids is 13 and 14. He doesnt seem almost 60 to me and thank God is fit.

A family friend's niece's BF is 25 years older!! He is almost 75 and she is only 50.. Must be love as she is now dealing with elder care. she is active but he has the typical health issues. She does not seem happy but more stressed etc...

 

[tzolkin]

I hope you never have to deal with it but if you do, you just might surprise yourself.
...
I think it’s not uncommon for people who have been happily married to want that again.

I can definitely see where this makes sense, which is why I wouldn't say never. We have been together 20+ years (since 18) so I know I would be most comfortable in a relationship/married since that's all I've known my entire adult life. I just don't want to deal with the finding another person/dating aspect of it.

Maybe if DH dies, I'll have to go the arranged marriage route

 

[Cubbiecakes]

It's not about age, it's about health, attitude, and activity.

Not going to waste my time with grouchy old farts who want to sit on their butt all day and complain, or can barely move/control their bodily functions. Not going to date someone looking for a nurse.

 

[ronandannette]

My DH is 12 years older than me. wasnt really an issue when we met. I was 30 and he was 42.. I am slowly seeing some differences now as he gets older. He thinks half the shows i watch in netflex are stupid and my online social stuff he hates.. He is slowly turning into a grumpy old man... oh well. he will be 60 in a few years. I think a large age gap does make a difference later on IMO. what has kept him young is having kids later in life. Our kids is 13 and 14. He doesnt seem almost 60 to me and thank God is fit.

A family friend's niece's BF is 25 years older!! He is almost 75 and she is only 50.. Must be love as she is now dealing with elder care. she is active but he has the typical health issues. She does not seem happy but more stressed etc...

This is almost us exactly, except the gap is 13 years instead of 12. DH turned 65 this year and at this particular stage the differences are becoming more pronounced. It's all about stage-of-life compatibility. If we had met when I was 17 and he was 30, that difference would have been huge - insurmountable probably. During our "middle years", especially when we were raising our DS, (now 22), it was practically nothing at all. Now that he is a senior and looking at retirement and I still have 15 or more years to work, well, let's just say I really, really wish we were a little closer in age.

 

[OneOftheB's]

My brother is 8 years older than I am and when we were both single and in our 20’s, we agreed he wouldn’t date anyone younger than me, and I wouldn’t date anyone older than him. So 8 years. Of course, I did break the agreement once, unknowingly dating a guy who was 10+ years older than me.