What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[jpmom97]

Hello everyone! I have a dilemma and I need suggestions...

My husband has informed me he hates going to Disney World and never wants to go back. He said we can go without him. This of course upset the kids. They really want him to go with us and thought if we planned fun stuff for him to do while we are at the parks maybe he will go. I have no idea what to plan for him. He likes hunting and cars. Those are his hobbies. I wish he golfed because that would be a no brainer. I told the kids we can go to the beach and to the space center, I think those would be things he would do, maybe even go fishing...but I have no idea what else to suggest for him.

Does anyone have experience with this? I would really like my husband to come with us but I am ok just taking the kids but they really want him to go. I was hoping that would be enough to convince him but I don't think it will be. Thanks for your help!

 

[kimblebee]

Ask your kids if they’d want to do something they hate. Are they old enough to get that?

 

[kenthanson]

As a father there are a lot of things that I hate and don't like to do but I do them because the rest of the family wants to do it, but my wife knows there's things that make sense to leave me at home for, such as folk festivals and trips to her sisters.

 

[jpmom97]

Ask your kids if they’d want to do something they hate. Are they old enough to get that?

They are old enough to understand that. They are old enough to want a compromise from him too.

As a father there are a lot of things that I hate and don't like to do but I do them because the rest of the family wants to do it, but my wife knows there's things that make sense to leave me at home for, such as folk festivals and trips to her sisters.

I do not make my husband do those things either. He doesn't go to every one of my daughter's dance recitals and competitions because he hates those too. We made a deal, 1 a year and that is fine with her.

And this is my younger 2 kids, not my adult son, I think they just like him there with them. They like to go on rides with him and just share the experience. Up until now they had no idea he hated it. I knew he wasn't the biggest fan but I thought he just liked being with the family.

 

[lifesavacation]

My husband hates Disney. The kids and I usually just go solo. I have been able to get him to go the last couple of years. I put absolutely no pressure on making him go into the park. I don’t even buy him a ticket. He’s a hotel snob so I book the nicest hotel available and then he can get some work done while we’re in the parks. Last year, I booked a cabana so he could work but still join us at the pool. He had power, WiFi, and food/drinks and loved it. I also over plan so make sure everything from airport transfers to dining are hassle-free.

 

[Momto2minniemice]

My girls and I go every other Year without daddy for a girls trip and it is fun. He does not care for Disney, simply tolerates the trip for us. I try to plan something else that is still fun to do with daddy even if it is smaller trips.
Why make someone go if he is not going to be happy?

 

[amberpi]

IDK, maybe just go with you and your kids and have it be your special time? There's a number of things I have 0 interest in doing and would be pretty resentful if I was guilted into it (not saying you're doing this of course, this sounds like your husband is finally just "done" with WDW after sucking it up for some time). I know you're trying to find a compromise, but maybe just change things up for you and the kids and see how it goes. Could be a blast as long as the kids are old enough to handle by yourself, I know single parents do it all the time. Might be great "mom and kids" time where you can just concentrate on the stuff ya'll enjoy without having to worry about pleasing your husband's different interests. Do it once and he may miss it even. Sending you the best of luck!

 

[tarheelmjfan]

It's been a few years, since we've been to WDW, but here's some ideas based on the things offered at that time.

It sounds like he's tired of the parks & need to find things to do beyond that. He would probably enjoy some of the water sports, with the kids. Has he been to ESPN restaurant to watch a game? Does he like to play golf? How about bowling? Fishing is another option. Segway tours are a lot of fun too. Unfortunately, my first thought seems to no longer be an option.

He may also enjoy the two of you leaving the kids in the room with a pizza & movies & spending the evening at Epcot or Disney Springs for a date night. They may like the idea too.

My DH recommended a trip to the beach to chill out for the day. How about a day trip to Kennedy Space Center. Is that the kind of thing he would enjoy?

Honestly, my DH & DS enjoy Universal more. It's much more relaxing, if you stay at one of the resorts that offer early entry & Express pass. What would he think about a split stay?

For more suggestions, you may want to try the Disney for Adults & Solo Travelers board here.

 

[kimblebee]

I knew he wasn't the biggest fan but I thought he just liked being with the family.

I don’t think that because he hates Disney that means he doesn’t like being with the family. They are two different things.

Maybe make a compromise..one year Dad picks the vacation, next year it’s up to you and the kids. Granted, he may have to pick something besides a hunting trip, but I’m sure if pressed, he could think of something the whole family can enjoy.

 

[Disney Doll]

The older I get the less patience I have for “dealing with” people.

If he doesn’t want to go, leave him home. I wouldn’t be over planning to make sure things didn’t go wrong, travel was smooth etc. Please. If you already have 3 kids to deal with you don’t need a 4th.

My attitude would be “we’re going. If you want to be with your family then
You’re welcome to come. If not, see you in a week”

Tell the kids “Dad just doesn’t like Disney”. That’s all the explanation they need.

 

[QueenIsabella]

He's an adult who has told you, presumably in an adult fashion, that he doesn't want to go to Disney. He's not stopping you and the kids from going, he just doesn't want to. I assume he contributes to the household expenses, including vacations. He would rather put his time and money elsewhere. You need to respect that.

I do like the idea of planning on every other year being a vacation that he picks, for the family to do. A cabin by the lake, a trip to the beach, a resort in the Caribbean--you guys may find another passion, or he may find that he hates planning vacations, I don't know. Then every other year, you and the kids go to Disney, while he does his thing.

My DH loves hunting, but I would rather poke my own eye out than go. Ironically, I'm a really good shot, so DH is always trying to get me to go to the rifle range with him--I know he'd be in heaven if he could sit me in a deer blind to hunt with him. It's not happening. Ever. Period. I would be resentful if he tried to ignore my very clear expressions on this matter.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Your husband is going to resent you and the kids if you force him to do something he clearly doesn't want to do. Respect his wishes, explain to the kids that Disney is not his thing go with them by yourself or take another friend. There are a zillion things you can do as a family that don't involve Disney.

 

[Skywalker]

I don't think it's up to you and the kids to try and force him to go. He "hates" it. I would not want to spend my vacation time somewhere I hate either.

They are old enough to understand that. They are old enough to want a compromise from him too.

What is their part of the compromise? What are they going to give up in this? I think a far better idea is to go somewhere else altogether - somewhere your husband and kids would all enjoy. Your kids should be willing to do that if all they want is time with their dad.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Has he ever gone with your kids?

I almost banned DH from our family trip because I thought he would be miserable and he didn’t really WANT to go. He ended up changing his mind because he wanted to share that experience with the kids. I’m so glad he did! He ended up enjoying himself more than I did. So much so that he immediately wanted me to start planning our anniversary trip for the next year!

If he has already been with the kids then go without him. I mean... I’d go without him if he is really adamant about not going anyway. There are plenty of other ways the kids can make memories with their father. Being on a trip where he is unhappy just being there isn’t going to be a good, memorable time.

 

[Lori74]

What about a cruise, then he heads home while you head to Disney? You could rent an rv and stay at the campground, or get a cabin is that more his style? Really though, for all involved, if he doesn't want to go at all, I would just leave it at that. Lesson to the kids, we can't always get what we want. Disappointing? Sure, but there are lots of things that the family can do together that isn't Disney.

 

[NJlauren]

How often are you going to Disney? Every year? More then once a year? Every two years?

Is it possible he just needs a different vacation. My husband enjoys Disney but would hate it if we went as often as I would like. So I try to plan other things in between Disney vacations. So if we take one vacation a year we only go every 2/3 years. If it was up to me we would go all the time till my daughter didn’t want to go.

Could you also split the Disney vacation? Maybe 3/4 days Disney 3/4 days doing something else?

Wish I had better advice but I wish you luck.

 

[wgeo]

It doesn't seem like the OP has a problem leaving the husband, it seems like it has more to do with the kids coming to terms with it. Seems like dad likes to opt out of things with the kids (if the compromise is only 1 recital per year?) and that the kids are having a harder time dealing with it. Yes they need to learn that dad can do what he wants, but there may be other issues here that we're not aware of. Certainly forcing or guilting him into going to a place he hates isn't the answer - but it's worth wondering how involved he is in their lives overall.

 

[mom2rtk]

It's not a personality flaw to dislike Disney. He's an adult and entitled to his opinions. I'd find a destination for your main vacation that everyone likes, then take the kids by yourself for a short trip every now and then.

The dance recitals are another matter. I'd tell him to suck it up and go support his child.

 

[Ralphmiller007]

The first time my husband and I went to Disney, we were in the parks all day and stayed offsite...he tried to be a good sport, but he definitely was not feeling the Disney magic. Ever since, I’ve booked a nice hotel on site, he relaxes at the pool or sleeps in...and I do everything I want to do solo at the parks. He does like Epcot and AK, so then we would just meet up and do one of those parks or low-key food/drinks someplace. I get to do what I want to do, and we still get some together time. We don’t have kids, but in our situation it wasn’t worth it for me to drag someone that hated MK rides/crowds into the park. That’s not a fun vacation for anyone. My friends think I’m weird for going to the parks solo, but it works for us and keeps us both happy! I would think just taking your kids might be a good solution, if your DH isn’t a chill-out-at the-pool kind of guy.

 

[Rickat96]

I would focus the trip around food and beverage- Men love to eat!