What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[wgeo]

You've been a member since 2011 and you are still surprised at how threads go here? By now you shouldn't be.

Just because you've accepted that it's ok for people to act in a certain manner doesn't mean that I have to accept it. I'm here, and have been here since 2011 because of my love for Disney, this board is not what it was years ago, but I continue to come back because of my love for Disney. I am certainly allowed to be disappointed in the attitudes that I see here. Why is it that you are taking my opinion so hard? I'm simply expressing a desire for people to listen and be a little more compassionate to those around them?

 

[jpmom97]

Holy smokes I certainly did not expect all these responses. Normally no one reads my posts LOL!

It's funny how so many people are speculating about my DH being selfish or my kids being selfish. Did I make them sound like that in my post? I certainly didn't mean to. My husband is a great person, he just happens to hate Disney. My kids love their dad and just wanted to be with him, I can't blame them for it.

12 pages of comments is a lot to read through, I didn't get home from work and stuff until 9:00. It took awhile to get through everything.

To put some of these speculations to rest:

We go camping when the weather is warm, take day trips to historic places and do a lot of family hikes. All things my husband likes to do. Do I love it? It's not my favorite thing to do but I do it. My kids enjoy it and my so does my husband and that makes it enjoyable for me. I also go to the junkyards with my husband, do I love that? Well, I have to admit I do lol. He rebuilds cars (Jeeps and Volkswagens) for fun. He is in the Army so he likes military stuff too. He likes to hunt and is planning on going on one of those big hunts out west next year. He is going on his own vacation, I am fine with that.

I pay for the Disney vacations and we have been there about 8 times. In 2004 my parents purchased DVC and never used it. My mom passed away before we were able to go. I did go with my dad a few times, he actually lived in Florida for a few years so it was nice to have that time with him. The DVC is now mine, I pay the dues every month.

My father died in July. We thought he had a stroke but it was a brain tumor. He died in 2 days. My cat drowned in the neighbors pool, my son totaled his car and I got into a car accident a few weeks ago.

This vacation was planned for all of us to go so the kids thought DH was going. He sprang it on me that he hates Disney and doesn't want to go so I had to tell the kids dad doesn't like it. He said to go without him, which I will, I have no problems doing that, except for the driving part. I don't want to drive all that way a lone but I will deal with it. The kids have a good time with him when he goes and when I told them he wasn't going they thought if we planned more things he liked to do maybe he would reconsider and that's where I wanted the suggestions of some things to do. He rides the roller coasters
with my youngest, they love to see him eat a lot at Biergarten and they can't believe he can drink that big beer. No one is forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. We go to Universal, he doesn't like that either. He doesn't like crowds but honestly we haven't been there when it's been crazy crowded. I plan to go to the beach and to Kennedy Space Center this time too.

As for the dance recitals, my daughter has 2 dance recitals and 4 competitions with her dance school and 4 recitals with her high school. I do not expect him to sit through 10 recitals a year, especially when 6 of those are the same dances. And she has been dancing for 13 years. I couldn't sit through 10 Nascar races, just 1 is good for me.

What I was really looking for was just some suggestions on different things to do in that area or in driving distance for him to do or for us to do that he would like. I didn't know about a fishing excursion so I will look into that.

Is anyone else wondering whey the OP has said nothing more to the questions some of have asked, in order to help her? There are 10 pages of speculation here, without further feedback. What's up with that?

I worked until 4, came home made dinner, took my daughter to dance, went to a weight loss meeting, picked up my daughter from dance, came home, did dishes, read through 12 pages of posts.

Getting back to your original post asking for suggestions, do you think your husband might enjoy camping at Fort Wilderness? He could stay back at the campsite or cabin, enjoying the quiet nature and you and the kids could be off in the parks. If he’s a hunter, he might enjoy just being out of the parks, chilling in his chair with a cold beer. But then you could be together for certain dinner reservations or just a nice meal back at the campsite. I know my husband has just about had it with the hectic parks and says next time, he’d just like to go to the campground and stay behind while we run around doing our crazy park touring.
I hope it all works out for you. I know you’ve had a rough go if it lately and need a nice family vacation. : )

Thank you. Life has sucked these past few months.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm guessing that WDW is the OP's happy place and thus this trip has taken on a different meaning entirely than previous trips due to the rough year the OP has had (just found the pre-trip report).

But to be fair the husband is cool with not going and if the OP truly needs to go back to WDW for this trip then that's totally ok. The husband doesn't need to go truthfully. As for the kids being disappointed..that's ok it happens but hey at least they get to go on vacation

But perhaps when the dust has settled (it is after all a new year so hopefully this one is better than the last) OP can look to a vacation spot all will enjoy for the next adventure.

 

[LSUmiss]

Holy smokes I certainly did not expect all these responses. Normally no one reads my posts LOL!

It's funny how so many people are speculating about my DH being selfish or my kids being selfish. Did I make them sound like that in my post? I certainly didn't mean to. My husband is a great person, he just happens to hate Disney. My kids love their dad and just wanted to be with him, I can't blame them for it.

12 pages of comments is a lot to read through, I didn't get home from work and stuff until 9:00. It took awhile to get through everything.

To put some of these speculations to rest:

We go camping when the weather is warm, take day trips to historic places and do a lot of family hikes. All things my husband likes to do. Do I love it? It's not my favorite thing to do but I do it. My kids enjoy it and my so does my husband and that makes it enjoyable for me. I also go to the junkyards with my husband, do I love that? Well, I have to admit I do lol. He rebuilds cars (Jeeps and Volkswagens) for fun. He is in the Army so he likes military stuff too. He likes to hunt and is planning on going on one of those big hunts out west next year. He is going on his own vacation, I am fine with that.

I pay for the Disney vacations and we have been there about 8 times. In 2004 my parents purchased DVC and never used it. My mom passed away before we were able to go. I did go with my dad a few times, he actually lived in Florida for a few years so it was nice to have that time with him. The DVC is now mine, I pay the dues every month.

My father died in July. We thought he had a stroke but it was a brain tumor. He died in 2 days. My cat drowned in the neighbors pool, my son totaled his car and I got into a car accident a few weeks ago.

This vacation was planned for all of us to go so the kids thought DH was going. He sprang it on me that he hates Disney and doesn't want to go so I had to tell the kids dad doesn't like it. He said to go without him, which I will, I have no problems doing that, except for the driving part. I don't want to drive all that way a lone but I will deal with it. The kids have a good time with him when he goes and when I told them he wasn't going they thought if we planned more things he liked to do maybe he would reconsider and that's where I wanted the suggestions of some things to do. He rides the roller coasters
with my youngest, they love to see him eat a lot at Biergarten and they can't believe he can drink that big beer. No one is forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. We go to Universal, he doesn't like that either. He doesn't like crowds but honestly we haven't been there when it's been crazy crowded. I plan to go to the beach and to Kennedy Space Center this time too.

As for the dance recitals, my daughter has 2 dance recitals and 4 competitions with her dance school and 4 recitals with her high school. I do not expect him to sit through 10 recitals a year, especially when 6 of those are the same dances. And she has been dancing for 13 years. I couldn't sit through 10 Nascar races, just 1 is good for me.

What I was really looking for was just some suggestions on different things to do in that area or in driving distance for him to do or for us to do that he would like. I didn't know about a fishing excursion so I will look into that.



I worked until 4, came home made dinner, took my daughter to dance, went to a weight loss meeting, picked up my daughter from dance, came home, did dishes, read through 12 pages of posts.



Thank you. Life has sucked these past few months.

Sorry about your year. I know the feeling. My dad thought he had gall stones & needed routine surgery & died a month later of pancreatic cancer last Feb. Then my dog died of pancreatitis 2 weeks later & my other dog died in July of pancreatic cancer. I can understand being disappointed about not going to WDW with your family as planned. I very much look forward to my WDW trips to get my mind off life lately. Would it be ok with you if he went but stayed at the hotel & met up with y’all to do other activities not in the parks?

 

[LSUmiss]

I'm guessing that WDW is the OP's happy place and thus this trip has taken on a different meaning entirely than previous trips due to the rough year the OP has had (just found the pre-trip report).

But to be fair the husband is cool with not going and if the OP truly needs to go back to WDW for this trip then that's totally ok. The husband doesn't need to go truthfully. As for the kids being disappointed..that's ok it happens but hey at least they get to go on vacation

But perhaps when the dust has settled (it is after all a new year so hopefully this one is better than the last) OP can look to a vacation spot all will enjoy for the next adventure.

I still see it differently especially now. I think it would be nice if he would go maybe this one last time despite how he feels about it b/c of the kind of yr she has had & how important it is to her. She’s told us that he gets to do his fair share of things for himself so it’s not like he’s deprived. Think it’d be nice if they could research together what he might enjoy there so they can all go together at least this time.

 

[jpmom97]

Sorry about your year. I know the feeling. My dad thought he had gall stones & needed routine surgery & died a month later of pancreatic cancer last Feb. Then my dog died of pancreatitis 2 weeks later & my other dog died in July of pancreatic cancer. I can understand being disappointed about not going to WDW with your family as planned. I very much look forward to my WDW trips to get my mind off life lately. Would it be ok with you if he went but stayed at the hotel & met up with y’all to do other activities not in the parks?

I am so sorry. I don't understand why these things have to happen. Many prayers for you, life has not been kind to you either.

I am fine with him just coming along for the ride and him doing whatever he wants while we go to the parks. And I am fine with him not coming at all. It's just that my kids were sad he wouldn't be there because to them, how can anyone not like Disney? They immediately thought what can we do differently to make him want to come and that's why I came here for help. I didn't know if anyone had experiences with things outside of Disney World that may have the same interests as my husband and could suggest something for him to do.

 

[LSUmiss]

I am so sorry. I don't understand why these things have to happen. Many prayers for you, life has not been kind to you either.

I am fine with him just coming along for the ride and him doing whatever he wants while we go to the parks. And I am fine with him not coming at all. It's just that my kids were sad he wouldn't be there because to them, how can anyone not like Disney? They immediately thought what can we do differently to make him want to come and that's why I came here for help. I didn't know if anyone had experiences with things outside of Disney World that may have the same interests as my husband and could suggest something for him to do.

I haven’t actually done anything outside of the parks, but I know they have tons of stuff. Maybe y’all could research things as a family & he can try it one more time with the extras & see if his opinion improves at all. I hope y’all can find a way to make it work for everyone since it it’ll be a nice break from the tough yr.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I still see it differently especially now. I think it would be nice if he would go maybe this one last time despite how he feels about it b/c of the kind of yr she has had & how important it is to her. She’s told us that he gets to do his fair share of things for himself so it’s not like he’s deprived. Think it’d be nice if they could research together what he might enjoy there so they can all go together at least this time.

That's totally ok to have that opinion. But I don't necessarily agree. You can support your spouse, be there for them and still not go on a vacation. A vacation is a luxury not a need. I would hope there are things the OP and the husband have done together at home that shows he's there for her during this difficult time. The OP doesn't have an issue itself at least not one they are saying with their husband not going just that their kids are disappointed.

Even my own experience my dad didn't go on every trip with me, my sister didn't go on every trip, my stepmom didn't go in every trip and I didn't go on every trip. In the end that's ok.

 

[sam_gordon]

But, then, you & others listed all the things you do for your kids so it sounds like most of our lives revolve around our kids as it should be.

No. Just no.

 

[moon]

That's a dangerous game to play with your spouse and can backfire in ways you didn't imagine, IMO.

Why do you say that?

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Why do you say that?

Well I don't want to spell it out however there are other venues that take care of men's needs when their wives won't.

 

[Suger Mag]

Well I don't want to spell it out however there are other venues that take care of men's needs when their wives won't.

LOL... you mean if I don't perform my wifely duties? If my man is going to cheat, he will do it regardless of if I am performing my wifely duties, because a cheater is a personal failure... they are a jerk who cares only about themselves ... it is not the fault of the other partner

However the point was... to use eating dinner as a metaphor... i feed him just fine at home, he gets plenty to eat and the food is nutritious... but when you go to Disney do you want to eat what you ate at home last Thursday night? or do you want to eat at a fancy restaurant with drinks that have glow cubes in them?

Just like you have the expectation that most everything at Disney is a little extra magical... When we go on vacay... I try make him feel a little extra special...

 

[aejammers]

Could you plan your trip around the Nascar schedule so that he could see a race at Daytona or Homestead? Or stop for a race on the way coming or going if there is another track between home and WDW. I also second the idea to stay at the Campground in a cabin if you can. The atmosphere there will make the trip feel totally different. Or maybe stay in the Treehouses.

Good luck!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

LOL... you mean if I don't perform my wifely duties? If my man is going to cheat, he will do it regardless of if I am performing my wifely duties, because a cheater is a personal failure... they are a jerk who cares only about themselves ... it is not the fault of the other partner

However the point was... to use eating dinner as a metaphor... i feed him just fine at home, he gets plenty to eat and the food is nutritious... but when you go to Disney do you want to eat what you ate at home last Thursday night? or do you want to eat at a fancy restaurant with drinks that have glow cubes in them?

Just like you have the expectation that most everything at Disney is a little extra magical... When we go on vacay... I try make him feel a little extra special...

With two kids in a hotel room with us we do not find the time to be intimate at WDW!! Not unless we send them to get a snack or we "forget" something in the room while they're at the pool (my kids are teens). We more than make up for it at home and when we do adult only trips/getaways.

Hmmmm maybe that's why my SO wants to do a kid free WDW trip next.

We've already decided that anymore family vacations we go on, be a WDW vacation or an all inclusive, no matter what we will get two rooms.

 

[Suger Mag]

With two kids in a hotel room with us we do not find the time to be intimate at WDW!! Not unless we send them to get a snack or we "forget" something in the room while they're at the pool (my kids are teens). We more than make up for it at home and when we do adult only trips/getaways.

Hmmmm maybe that's why my SO wants to do a kid free WDW trip next.

We've already decided that anymore family vacations we go on, be a WDW vacation or an all inclusive, no matter what we will get two rooms.

LOL I hear ya... getting alone is always a challenge, especially in a studio. I hate feeling cramped, so we always do at least a one bedroom... after a long day in the parks rubbing elbows with everyone... I like to come back to the room and relax and have space. Plus we have the luxury of older kids... 16 and 22 now.. so since we bought into DVC in 2009, there are plenty of times we have space while they are off 'exploring' or swimming.

 

[mombrontrent]

With two kids in a hotel room with us we do not find the time to be intimate at WDW!! Not unless we send them to get a snack or we "forget" something in the room while they're at the pool (my kids are teens). We more than make up for it at home and when we do adult only trips/getaways.

Hmmmm maybe that's why my SO wants to do a kid free WDW trip next.

We've already decided that anymore family vacations we go on, be a WDW vacation or an all inclusive, no matter what we will get two rooms.

We don’t take family trips unless we have get a condo. Usually a two or three bedroom but this past summer we stayed in a four bedroom in Montreal with six of us and it was awesome! Even when the kids were younger we got two rooms anywhere we went or a condo. Not just for intimate tines but because we don’t all sleep at the same times and especially now with teens they want to hang out away from mom and dad after spending all day vacationing with them.

 

[quandrea]

We do have nights/days that DS stays with grandma or someone else. But, they’re not really scheduled or weekly. It’s more certain times of yr. DS is young so our time to ourselves is mostly once we put him to bed so we get that time every day. But, we don’t have separate nights for each of us, but it works out that we share most interests so when DS is with someone else we go somewhere together. We have the same friends so it’s works out that way even when we visit friends.

This is how we operate. There is no “date night” or “girls night out.” When we want to do something together, grandma, and now our older daughter watch the kids. There is no time for a weekly, scheduled night out. I’ve always thought date night was overrated. I truly appreciate the few hours I get every night with dh. It goes a long way to maintaining the relationship. We have no outside help. That was important to us when we began our family. Not saying it’s better. It’s just a value we hold very close. Apart from the occasional help from dd or grandma, we are the childcare. I even homeschool—although that came about due to living in a lousy school district, not because we wanted them home.

 

[JaxDad]

Hi @jpmom97! You might want to look through the Orlando Hotels and Attractions forum. This thread for example...

https://www.disboards.com/threads/manly-things-to-do-in-orlando.3418444/

 

[mi*vida*loca]

We don’t take family trips unless we have get a condo. Usually a two or three bedroom but this past summer we stayed in a four bedroom in Montreal with six of us and it was awesome! Even when the kids were younger we got two rooms anywhere we went or a condo. Not just for intimate tines but because we don’t all sleep at the same times and especially now with teens they want to hang out away from mom and dad after spending all day vacationing with them.

My kids can sleep through anything so one room was never an issue, especially when they were younger. Last WDW trip they were 15 and 9. It wasn't so bad but by the end of the week I knew we had to get a suite/condo/2 bedroom next time. We did Dominican Republic this summer. They were 17 and 11. I wasn't comfortable putting DD in a separate room with DS (who hung out with the older kids a lot of the time) so I got us a family suite and the suite was not as big as I thought it would be. But for the future it's not an option. Two rooms or two bedrooms NO MATTER WHAT!

 

[Nancyg56]

We do have nights/days that DS stays with grandma or someone else. But, they’re not really scheduled or weekly. It’s more certain times of yr. DS is young so our time to ourselves is mostly once we put him to bed so we get that time every day. But, we don’t have separate nights for each of us, but it works out that we share most interests so when DS is with someone else we go somewhere together. We have the same friends so it’s works out that way even when we visit friends.

I think that some of us have a different perspective given that our kids are older. Mine are all adults, but they used to be kids, and as they got older their wants changed, as did our priorities. When they were young we had time that was different than when they got older and their activities changed and their preferences were more defined. My DH worked long hours, and had a farm, so he was not always around when other fathers were typically active with the family. He also tended to crash right after the New Year. As soon as his layoff took place, (The farm was in addition to his job) he got through all that piled up and then really looked forward to camping out in front of the TV. So that is when I took the kids away for Winter break. During the Summer months there was not a way for him to take a day off, so I took the kids on summer vacations with my sister. You just transition to what makes sense for the family. We did not really need to do this when the kids were little. Life was simpler.

I am fine with him just coming along for the ride and him doing whatever he wants while we go to the parks. And I am fine with him not coming at all. It's just that my kids were sad he wouldn't be there because to them, how can anyone not like Disney? They immediately thought what can we do differently to make him want to come and that's why I came here for help. I didn't know if anyone had experiences with things outside of Disney World that may have the same interests as my husband and could suggest something for him to do.

I get it. My children, even as adults, want Buddy to join us. He will, but not every trip. To be honest, I really think that he considers some of that alone time a vacation! LOL! If you do not count the dozens of calls, the neighbors stopping in to show him how to find pictures of all of us, and the meals he is invited to so "he does not get lonely"

He is coming with all of us in December, but he will be joining my nieces on a fishing trip for a day.

With two kids in a hotel room with us we do not find the time to be intimate at WDW!! Not unless we send them to get a snack or we "forget" something in the room while they're at the pool (my kids are teens). We more than make up for it at home and when we do adult only trips/getaways.

Hmmmm maybe that's why my SO wants to do a kid free WDW trip next.

We've already decided that anymore family vacations we go on, be a WDW vacation or an all inclusive, no matter what we will get two rooms.

LOL! Yea, we liked that last AI in Aruba. When we travel as extended family we all share space, so our mindset is different. However we just returned from a extended family trip in Aruba, and booked a big suite of rooms, and we got the master suite. There really was a lot to be said about that level of privacy that we generally to not get on Disney trips! LOL! DH wants to go back! The rest of them do not have our level of privacy...but I figured they could deal with it for a change! LOL!